wait for me to grow up

Lu Han didn't know what Wu Yifan and Huang Zitao talked about that day, he only knew that the two of them seemed to have not broken away from their embarrassing relationship.Thinking about it, what can Wu Yifan do with that panda who absolutely cannot accept other feelings no matter what?Wu Yifan is not used to deeply hiding his liking, wantonly letting it show up occasionally, it will naturally make Huang Zitao uncomfortable.This...he Luhan did really well.

Isn't it just pretending?It's not that he doesn't like it. When he really likes it to overflowing, he makes a weird joke cheekily.No matter how bad my acting skills are, anyway...that panda is so stupid, it won't think about it~

Therefore, the classmate Lu Han who can be used as a model deeply thinks that in this subject, Wu Yifan has mastered it very badly!

Zhang Yixing asked him, "Those two people look like that, what should we do?"

"What else can I do? It's hard for a clean official to decide on housework." Lu Han looked at him with helpless little eyes, yes, not everything can be clearly distinguished, although it is clear to a bystander, but it is related to feelings How could they meddle in the matter?

Zhang Yixing blinked, looking confused, "Then let them go on like this? If they are uncomfortable, we should be uncomfortable too."

"if not?"

"Lu Han, let me ask you, of those two people, who do you want to see suffer more?"

"..."

Luhan thought about Zhang Yixing's words for a long time, until Huang Zitao came back from the show that day and said he had no appetite and didn't want to eat and went to sleep alone. He remembered that the host asked the same question in the same way on today's show. When Tao was acting like a baby, Huang Zitao was stunned for a while , and then said, "I can't act like a baby anymore."

At that time, Luhan felt distressed. The boy who thought the whole world was a fairy tale in one second, was worn out by the cruelty of this world in the next second. He was worn so hard that his blood was in a pool. Flowing, as if composing a song that is too sad.

How sad is it that you say that?

When I watched Huang Zitao enter their world, it seemed like it was just yesterday. After getting along for such a long time, even if it wasn't for this inexplicable liking, they would have become like family members.Especially the children from the north, he and Huang Zitao have some exclusive channels for them, so although they don't say it out loud, the relationship between them is definitely not fake.Although he was not as difficult as Zhang Yixing when he first joined the company, it was not an easy task, especially when life taught him to be careful with everyone.Although Lu Han has no problems in interpersonal communication, but the trainee period is not a place for children to play, how can he talk to others without hiding anything?Fortunately, he also has a partner who is also from China, so it will not be so hard.

When Huang Zitao first came here, he also thought about ignoring him, but since he became a member of them and a younger brother who also came from the north, he took care of him if he could.Speaking of caring, sometimes with Wu Yifan and Zhang Yixing, it is actually not my turn, but once Huang Zitao really encounters something, he is really nervous.

The first time Lu Han realized that he still cared about that panda was the Jin Wenkui incident.When I came back that day and saw Huang Zitao's wrists were red, he immediately became angry and went straight to his dormitory to ask Jin Zhongren to explain.

Why do you bully my children?

Thinking about it now, it's a bit naive, like an old lady.

But once again, they will probably drag Huang Zitao to his dormitory in a hurry.There is no way, who made Huang Zitao, who has been wronged or injured, make people feel pleasing to the eye and feel distressed for no reason?

The interview that made Lu Han care about made another person uncomfortable on the second day.

In fact, Jin Zhongren never cared about those personalities, but he was inexplicably worried. He would watch almost every interview of the M team as long as there was Han Fan. The trend was weird, and since he didn't want to see it, he didn't study it carefully.Instead, he resented Huang Zitao for never mentioning himself.

When Kim Jong-in watched the interview the day before after practicing dance again, he felt something was wrong.It's not just Huang Zitao, but the other people interviewed are actually a little bit wrong, and Huang Zitao is too obvious, it's not just a sign of being tired.Say something that is slowly maturing, say something that won't act like a baby... Obviously that's the position given by the company, isn't it?If the maknae doesn't act like a baby, who will act like a baby?Although Jin Zhongren is also very disgusted with this kind of thing, but the age is here, when he is made to act like a baby, he is unwilling to cooperate?

What happened to Huang Zitao?

Jin Zhongren immediately entered the forum to search, and then gradually understood.

CP... This kind of thing is a tradition of Korean entertainment, and it has always been a weapon for circle fans.But in fact, they themselves are very complicated about CP, and they are so overwhelmed that they should die, and sometimes they have to adapt to it and do some superficial efforts.Their idols are commodities, commodities created for fans to consume on a large scale. CP rice is also rice, so naturally they have to satisfy them if they want to watch it.So CP is almost a product of the tacit understanding of the idol circle, if it is all for the benefit of acting, so what?A good relationship is even better, but if the relationship is not good, we will go our separate ways once the camera is turned off.

CP is a double-edged sword, both advantages and disadvantages.However, it is rarely revealed so quickly.

Like being hacked...

For a moment, Jin Zhongren was actually quite angry, wondering if it was because he liked Huang Zitao?Or to put it another way...disappointed with those who hurt Tao with liking as a reason.

They worked so hard to stand on that stage, and the love given by fans is their motivation to continue.Although it is a bit sensational to say this, but that is the case. They all have dreams to persist until now. Is that dream money?Is it fame?They all have them, but not all of them. Their dreams are not only realistic things, but also cheers and applause. The most important thing is the warmth of companionship and recognition of their pursuit of dreams.He feels that the things given by fans are what can really move them.Of course, there are also realistic things, but do we say that each other is just a money relationship?You buy and I sell... this one, was off track from the start.

They are not moved because of those, but because fans will understand their tears and sweat.I went to the concert of seniors before, and the seniors sang the same song with the fans who came together and then cried together...that kind of scene is the most touching moment.

Almost immediately, Jin Zhongren called Wu Yifan.

It took a while for the phone to connect, and Wu Yifan's voice sounded not in a good mood, "Zhong Ren, what's the matter?"

"Brother, I know about your affairs."

"……you are right……"

"I've also seen everything on the Internet. Now... are you and Tao engaged in a cold war?"

Wu Yifan suddenly found it funny, "Why would you think that way? How could we..." At this point, he couldn't go on. The current situation, even if it wasn't the Cold War, would not be much better than that.

"But I don't think you're in the right mood, Tao... he's in a bad mood, right?"

"That he can solve by himself." Wu Yifan looked at his distorted face reflected on the glass, and suddenly felt that there was something wrong with him, was it because he smiled less?But isn't that what I used to be like?Or because... Once a person changes, the most disgusting thing is to change the previous self.Jin Zhongren's concern for Huang Zitao also made him uncomfortable. Tao, who was involved in this matter, refused to participate in him. What's the use of Jin Zhongren's concern?

Anyway...he had to figure it out himself.

What's more, Jin Zhongren is not qualified to intervene in this matter, right?

"What are you talking about?" Jin Zhongren was a little angry, "If you can't comfort him, what right do you have to refuse other people's concern for him?"

"You're not him, how do you know that he needs your care?" Wu Yifan hates the most, and what he hates the most is the self-righteous concern of others.Obviously that person only needs himself, even if he grows up, he can stay here by himself, and never needs others!It's a feeling that someone's territory has been violated.

"You're not him, how do you know he doesn't need it?"

"..."

"Huang Zitao, it's not your property!"

Jin Zhongren said to him coldly, "Brother, I'll call you brother because I respected you. I always remember what you said to me when Tao was hospitalized for my injury. I didn't say anything at that time. I kept thinking over and over again, you let me accept Tao’s feelings because you didn’t want him to be wronged, and I respect that. I, too, actually wanted to start over and try to be friends with Huang Zitao a long time ago. I don’t know when I had this idea. Probably just like I like him, he appeared in a daze. Even if you didn't say those words at that time, I would still treat him well. But, I still think... that Wu Yifan who wants to protect him is very handsome."

"..."

"I know, you have your own problems now, maybe Tao also has his own problems. But I don't know what those are. I only know that Huang Zitao has been wronged now, and he may still keep all the grievances in his heart like before. I don't want anyone to worry. And at this time, I thought you could take good care of him, but you told me that he could solve it by himself..."

"..."

"Brother, there are some things I wanted to say a long time ago. I like him. I never need your permission for this matter, and it will never be much inferior to your liking. If... the person I like suffers When you are wronged and hurt, you can't protect him properly, so let me protect him!"

Yes, that's the feeling, the feeling of being invaded.Wu Yifan grabbed the phone tightly, all the anger was burning.That's right, he couldn't protect Tao, but between Tao and him, no one else was allowed to have sex.

"Do you think I'll agree?"

"I'm not a request, but a notification."

…………

Huang Zitao is counting, how long will it take to meet Team K?I can't tell why, but I have decided to be strong, and face some right and wrong bravely like a mature man.However, perhaps people are still prone to miss when they are fragile.Just like homesickness at the hardest time, and friends when there is a grievance.The path of growing up is so tortuous, so he will unconsciously miss the group of brothers who gave him a lot of support.

This relationship is sometimes a bit complicated.

Although Luhan and the others are by his side, they know his feelings too well, so they are unwilling to talk too much. He would rather they think that he doesn't think about it anymore, and he doesn't want them to be anxious with him.

So at this time, I will miss Sehun.

In front of Shixun, he said that he was tired and told him not to ask.He might just accompany him quietly without saying anything, now... really need such warmth.

The warmth of a quiet younger brother.

Huang Zitao also needs company, and he also feels lonely.But can that kind of companionship be empathy?The fragile self is most afraid of others seeing his fragility clearly, and it is tiring to pretend that kind of strength.

In fact, what Brother Yixing said is right, as much praise as you can stand, you have to stand as much slander as you can. The "Huang Zitao" who is hated by others is not me!Now that I know this, I will work hard to prove to others what the real me is like.It's not the Huang Zitao who was described and made up by others, but the frank Huang Zitao who strives to be his true self no matter what others say.I'm like this, if people still hate me after they really understand it, then there's nothing they can do about it, right?

After all... this is my life, and to live a life like this, I must first be worthy of myself.

In the days before, Tao kept thinking, those people said that he was wrong, so would he change because of it?I thought about it a lot, but when I really made a decision, I was completely relieved, should I change?If they don't like the real me, how can they like the changed me?What's more, being a changed self will gradually get lost.

So after thinking a lot, Huang Zitao, who felt that he was beginning to detach himself, finally took the initiative to call Wu Shixun, as if he had been waiting there, and was picked up immediately.

"Yellow paper peach?"

"……do you miss me?"

"..."

Wu Shixun wanted to say so much, but couldn't say it for a while, thought about it, of course he thought about it.How could you not want to?You...you fool!

"Sehun, you know, I miss you so much, so much..."

Wu Shixun didn't know how to describe it, but Huang Zitao's tone had a kind of fragility that he had never heard before, like a bubble that would break if he touched it, like an unfathomable smoke, in short, there was a sense of powerlessness that could not be grasped.

He wanted to be comforted, but knowing the truth, he didn't know what kind of comfort was the best.He knows that Huang Zitao who hangs out with him all day long, he smiles at life, he has some special weaknesses, his strength is actually his fragility, he knows that he doesn't want to be comforted by too much emotion, so often he just Can pretend that he doesn't know anything, just be with him like a carefree child.

It's like many days and nights when I was a trainee.

Wu Shixun also knew Huang Zitao's hard work and forbearance, but he just refrained from talking about it, because he saw Wu Yifan and Zhang Yixing who knew him better, and Tao unconsciously avoided them.So I gradually became that person's quiet companion when he was tired, as if he didn't know anything... a simple companion.

"Huang Zhitao, we're going to meet soon~ we're going to meet soon, do some activities, sleep a few more nights, just think of me, we're going to meet soon!"

"Ah."

"So...you have to take good care of your body, eat and sleep well, and then we have to play crazy for a few days. If you are still working so hard like before, how can you play with me?"

"……okay, I get it."

…………

"Sehun, it's too late, go to sleep."

"Don't hang up." Shixun was a little anxious, "Let's listen to a song together, and then you can sleep."

"... a song?"

"Well, I like to listen to it recently, "ALittle Inspiration""

It was a slightly sad, quiet song.Lu Han is not there, in a quiet room, the song is like a soft feather blowing slowly, creating a stable state of mind with an extraordinary tranquility.It makes people relax, Tao forgets all the unhappiness, follows the melody, and listens to the gradually clear lyrics...

2a.m. just can't sleep

early morning, difficulty falling asleep

that'sa view (other run and) sodeep

eyes full of depression

lying here holding my hands

lie there and hold my hand

praying god please help me understand

Pray to God, help me to understand

(one by world to shifting) before found I knew exactly the plan

Before I knew I knew the exact plan

everything I know is (follow away, so) (visions) our dreams that faded so fast

All I know is our dreams fade so quickly

allthatIreallyneedisalittleinspirationfromthepain

All I need is a little inspiration from the pain

yes I found my way

yes i found my exit

packing my bags, anyway

pack my bag anyway

alwaysdrunkstothenights(everway)

always drunk late at night

(the saint and these lights) dreams can't come true

dream never came true

justtknowIwillfindsomethingnew

At this moment, I just want to know that I will meet a new world again

asIsaidherelyingalovesong

As I lie here singing this love song

so I'mafraid you won't understand

I'm just worried that you won't understand

everything I know is (follow away, so) (visions) our dreams that faded so fast

All I know is our dreams fade so quickly

allthatIreallyneedisalittleinspirationfromthepain

All I need is a little encouragement from the pain

yes I found my way I found my way

yes i found my exit

IfoundmywayIfoundmyway... Huang Zitao closed his eyes, that's right, he should find an exit for himself, it wouldn't make any sense to shut himself in.

After confirming that Tao was asleep, Shixun said "good night" softly, then hung up the phone.After that, he kept grabbing the phone and staring at it blankly, without moving, as if he was thinking about something.

"Shixun?" Junmian thought that Shixun who had called Tao just now should have gone to sleep, so he came out to have a look because he was inexplicably worried, and sure enough, he was still nestling on the sofa.

"elder brother……"

"What did Tao say?" Junmian saw Shixun's downcast eyes looked a little pitiful in the darkness, and patted his head to express his comfort.

"He didn't say anything, but brother, do you know how I feel right now?" Wu Shixun lowered his head, staring at his toes like a knife, stubbornly trying to hide all his fragility, but because he was holding on to his phone The slightly pale hands exposed all the emotions in front of Junmian.

Wu Shixun said childishly, "But I really want to tell him that I like him."

"Sehun..."

"That's right, I really want to. Every time I can't help but overflow my feelings, every time I feel distressed when I see him, every time my heartbeat reminds me...Brother, do you know how much I want to tell him I've put up with it for a long, long time, especially at times like this when I don't even have a good reason to care about him. It's his own business, everyone tells me that, but I like him, so his sadness will It makes me sad a hundred times. But I can't tell him how much I feel sorry for him, because I don't have the status to love him justifiably. Brother, do you know how uncomfortable I am?"

"I know, how could you not blame me?"

"No, brother, you are doing it for our own good and we all know it. But brother, have you ever thought about it, what we hide is the heart that beats anytime and anywhere, nothing else, there is no way to deceive people." Sehun lifted He started to look at Jin Junmian, and there were sparkling tears in his smiling eyes, trembling, "My love, how long will I have to hide it? One day I will tell him, not only It is a catharsis of my feelings, and it is also a respect for Tao. I tell him clearly what I think about him, and then wait quietly for him to accept or give up. Anyway, I think the relationship between us should be vigorous But it's straightforward, no concealment. Just like I don't like secrets between us, we can also not hide from each other."

"But Sehun..."

"Brother, I also know your concerns, and I want to keep my heartbeat and not annoy him, but...Brother, what if I can't help it when we meet again? I promise you at least it won't affect our combination, okay? "

Jin Junmian also feels sorry for Shixun, he can be regarded as watching Shixun grow up, how old was Shixun when he joined the company?Because he is younger, many elder brothers dote on him, and he is also good, but there are also many things that should be experienced.From being an ignorant child to now knowing what liking is, and beginning to draw a picture of a person in his heart, this should have been a beautiful and blessed thing in his life, because of the secular world, he can’t say anything, it’s painful It's not fair to that child to hide it.But... what can they do?

"Sehun, do you know what love is?"

"My love is Huang Zitao."

Junmian couldn't help rubbing Shixun's head, "Fool, how should I treat you?"

Your love is so pure that people can't bear to stop it.

But my blocking has been for you from the beginning to now.

Life is probably a dilemma.

It was the first time for Wu Shixun to feel so sorry for someone. When he knew that he was not the only one who liked him, he was a little scared.In the final analysis, I still have no confidence, because I am used to standing behind my brothers as the youngest, so I have no confidence in protecting the person I like.What is gradually making him change?

Wu Shixun thought, maybe liking someone is really a very magical thing.

It makes people change, it makes people brave, it makes people... omnipotent.

So he secretly made a decision, because the fragile Huang Zitao was so distressing, he planned... No matter what, he wanted to exchange such a happy Huang Zitao back.In the past, he was the maknae who hid behind his brothers, and he was a bit submissive even when he liked someone, but from now on, he will show the bravery that can even compete with the whole world. When he is injured, I will protect him!

Wu Shixun thought like that, and when he thought about it, he felt happy.

When Lu Han blocked Wu Yifan, both of them were taken aback.Wu Yifan didn't expect Lu Han to stand up, because Lu Han is a smart person, smart people never express their position so quickly.Just like the conversation when Jin Junmian called them to the balcony, the immature Wu Shixun didn't know how to hide his surprise and repulsion, but Luhan faced everyone naturally, quietly, standing aside without being eye-catching and unobtrusive. Take the initiative to say something.

Luhan has always been like this. Over the years, he has been impulsive, but he always thinks twice before doing things.

So the moment Lu Han stood in front of him, he was really scared.

In fact, why not Luhan himself?He thought about Zhang Yixing's words carefully. Of those two people, which one would he not want to see suffer?

Then, he resolutely stood in front of Wu Yifan who wanted to knock on the door of his and Huang Zitao's room, and stopped Wu Yifan's next move with his eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"I just can't watch him suffer."

Making a decision may be destined to hurt a person, then I choose what is best for that person.When I can't have both, I have to stand among you and protect him in my own way.Maybe this method is very naive, but compared to doing nothing and being uncomfortable with Huang Zitao's eyes, it is better to use a naive method to be a naive person who makes decisions based on emotion.

"I never want to make him uncomfortable." What he wants is to give him the best things in the world if he can.If possible, the last thing Wu Yifan would want is to let others have the opportunity to come.But now, aside from the problems between them, Jin Zhongren's phone call made him nervous.Very uneasy, as if there is no way to be sure, some things and some people are never destined to belong to whom.

He had to grasp what he wanted, which he knew from the very beginning.Everything else is fake, what is real is held in the palm of your hand, what marks Wu Yifan is his, it can only be his!

There is no need for others to intervene in the affairs between them.Never…need not.

"Wu Yifan, he is an independent individual, he never belongs to anyone, why do you always feel that what he needs most is you?" It's not that Lu Han never gave Wu Yifan a chance, Wu Yifan talked with Tao a lot these two days, but Every time Lu Han saw the so-called unraveling, Huang Zitao's eyes became more and more silent, and his expression became more and more distressing.That's why Luhan no longer wanted Wu Yifan to go in, and didn't want him to affect Huang Zitao's already sensitive mood.

Luhan raised his head, his eyes were full of seriousness, "Wu Yifan, have you ever thought that he was really obedient before, so you subconsciously thought that all his behaviors that didn't fit your ideas were off track. This incident has indeed had a great impact on us, especially Tao, setbacks always make people grow up quickly, and Huang Zitao is in this state now. He is growing, although it is hard, we may not be able to adapt to his in this process It's different, but it's unavoidable, this matter is going on. Because, that's his life, and the choice is his own. No matter how worried we are, it's not something that others can interfere with, is it?"

This "other" is Lu Han, Zhang Yixing, Jin Junmian, Wu Shixun...and you, Wu Yifan!In this matter, there is no difference between them, no one is more noble than the other, no one has the privilege to interfere with Huang Zitao's life.

Zhang Yixing asked him, who would he most want to see suffer?

Lu Han heard the answer in his heart.

Huang Zitao!

So, he stood there bravely for that person, not tall, but firm, like a kind of protection.He stayed here, in order not to feel uncomfortable watching that person.

But at this moment, Huang Zitao, wearing earphones, sank into the soft bed, smiling sweetly because of his peaceful dream.

In the dream, although he couldn't get rid of that gloomy powerlessness, he was definitely no longer alone~ The road to growth was indeed bumpy, but it was always good to have someone to accompany him. *^_^*

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happy holidays babies