Lovely Allergen

The moment Song Yu decided to come out, Song Yu was calmer and more relaxed than he imagined.

He notified Song Jin and Lin Rong, told them that he had something important to discuss, and asked if they were at home at night, the answer was yes.

Driving back home, it was Lin Rong who opened the door.Her eyes were red and moist, as if she had just cried.Song Yu had a bad idea in his heart, but Lin Rong didn't say anything.

"Xiaoyu, you're back."

Song Jin sat on the sofa, didn't look at Song Yu, but asked him what happened when he came back so late.

Song Yu first clearly stated to him his plan to change the topic, but was questioned by Song Jin, "Even if Professor Zhang agrees with you to change the topic, it is already so late, this semester is almost over, are you sure? And the teacher is willing to accept you?"

"So I can postpone my graduation. Professor Zhang used his private life to put pressure on me to prevent me from graduating. I am fed up. Even if I continue to stay in his research group, I disagree with his decision, and he will not let me graduate smoothly. Yes, it's better to leave early."

Song Jin was silent for a long time before opening his mouth in a low voice, "If you're really not interested in Miss Zhang, we won't force you."

"Not only am I not interested in Ms. Zhang, but I may not be interested in any girl who may appear in the future, Ms. Li, Ms. Wang, any girl who looks good in everyone's eyes." Song Yu stood upright, "Dad, Mom , although you always say that I have never let you down, but I actually do not meet the expectations of a son, but I have been unable to say it."

"I like men, and I already have a date." Song Yu said frankly, "So I won't form a family with any woman. I can't lie to myself, and I can't lie to or hurt others. I know that you are persuading me to fall in love. It's not that I really want me to carry on the Song family's lineage, I just think I'm too lonely, but can you imagine how painful it would be for a woman to marry someone like me in this life?"

"I won't do this kind of thing, so please give up this idea. Even if I live alone in the future, I can live well."

Hearing these words, Lin Rong finally couldn't bear it, and asked him back crying: "Really? Do you really think so?"

Song Jin picked up a piece of paper from the sofa and threw it in front of Song Yu.The sheet of paper, as thin as a blade, fluttered, cutting through the solemn air, and finally landed at Song Yu's feet.

He lowered his eyes, glanced at the beginning, and understood.

Song Jin's voice was shaking, but he couldn't tell whether it was from anger or sadness.

"Song Yu. Don't tell me that the person you keep talking about...is your younger brother."

He thought he would feel nothing, but the feeling of presenting the bloody past of his struggles in front of his parents was indeed worse than he imagined.He was grateful that his father's upbringing didn't make him say things like "Don't you feel sick?"

"Yes." Song Yu said, "It's Le Zhishi, but he is not my younger brother. The communication between us is normal and has not violated the law."

"You are so shameless, Song Yu, what are you thinking? Apart from having no blood relationship with you, what is the difference between him and your brother! You watched me bring him back back then!"

Under the rage, Song Yu's face tingled, and he persuaded himself to be numb, but he knew it was not so easy to accept.In the eyes of their parents, it is true that Lezhishi is no different from their biological son, and even more protective because he is an orphan of close relatives.He simply stepped on his father's most untouchable bottom line.

When he heard his father stood up tremblingly, frowned and looked at him, he said to him angrily and weakly: "Song Yu, wake up."

Song Yu's calm appearance was finally shattered.

"Dad, after all these years, am I not sober enough?"

Is the manual hidden in the computer really written for Le Zhishi's future partner?

Not at all, this is just Song Yu's admonition to himself when he was struggling and confused, reminding him that there will be someone who will accompany Le Zhishi in the future, and reminding himself to keep his identity and boundaries in mind.No matter how well he does these things, he can only sign [Le Zhishi's brother] at the end.

And the person in the future doesn't need any communication manual at all, as long as he has the favor of Le Zhishi, that's enough.

"How many times do you think I have revised this letter?" Song Yu said calmly, "Eleven drafts."

He tried his best to restrain his emotions and make himself sound calmer, anyway, it was over.

"As long as I feel that I can't stand it anymore, when I see Lezhi, I think in my heart, I really like him, why can't it be me? Whenever it comes to that time, I can't sleep, so I open the file and modify it , delete some words that can't and shouldn't be put in it, and try to make these expressions look more like a normal brother. Then tell myself, this is what I should do. Those feelings are like waste drafts, they shouldn't exist."

With a sad smile on his pale face, he looked at his parents.

"You should find all of them, type them out, and see eleven drafts from the first draft. How spectacular."

"After reading it, you will feel that I am really noble."

The manual with all kinds of precautions lay quietly on the cold floor, bearing palely the Song Yu who revised his wording five years ago.He changed the words that made his heart ache and shed tears when he was young, deleted the hostility and transgressive entrustment to Le Zhishi's future partner, and let himself learn to calmly accept her or his appearance.

During many sleepless nights, he learned to say "Hello, nice to meet you" at the beginning of the letter, and learned to send "May you be happy for a long time" at the end.

Then in revision after revision, the final signature is more and more accepted.

The printed words looked the same as Song Yu himself, neat, calm, and lacking in emotion, which put a decent and mature shell on the youthful and ignorant him that an adult should have.But many Song Yu from many years ago seem to be standing here at this moment, accompanying him to experience this explosion.

And Le Zhishi, who exists in every draft but has never been included in the reading list, is also stunned at the same time.The quarrels and conflicts that made him stop just now were like heavy fists hammered into the chest, but these words are the real sharp knives. The moment they are pierced, they are too sharp so it doesn't hurt.

Big drops of tears fell on it, almost smearing those indifferent prints, peeling off the fragile soul hidden in the paper, and freeing him.

"Lele, what's wrong with you?" Lin Rong wiped away her tears and stood up to look at him, "Why did you come here like this? Are you sick?"

Hearing these words, Le Zhi felt even more painful.

He tried his best not to shake himself, calmed down, lowered his hand holding the paper, wiped away the tears on his face, and looked at them.

"Uncle Song, Aunt Rong, I'm sorry."

Le Zhishi thought that kneeling at this moment might seem like a threat, so he bowed deeply and formally.

"This sorry is not an apology, it's really sorry for you. I have let down your kindness of upbringing. Aunt Rong, do you remember that I was sick before, and you came to see me at school. It was during that time that I used my illness to apologize to Song Yu. Confession."

He closed his eyes, opened them again, and said every word with certainty, "So in the final analysis, I took the initiative. If there were any inducements, they were all induced by me. In this relationship, Song Yu is actually very passive."

Le Zhishi's eyes were red and her lips were pale, but her eyes were bright, determined and calm, "I have had a strong separation anxiety towards Song Yu since I was a child, and the anxiety was once to an abnormal level, so I have done a lot of things out of line since I was a child. Forcibly wanting to sleep on the same bed with him, wanting to hold hands with him, wanting to hug him, even wanting to kiss him when he was just my brother, even the so-called confession is that I have a fever and cry I told him when I was there. Tell me, in that case, how would Song Yu refuse me?"

He took all the responsibilities on himself, the motive and the source belonged to him, everything had nothing to do with Song Yu.

"Because Song Yu always wanted to keep a distance from me and stay away from me, so my need for him is actually a bit pathological."

He said, and even laughed, "It's like an allergy. The doctor said you can't eat this, and you can't eat that, because you are allergic, and you may die if you eat it. Well, I won't touch it. Although it has been more than ten years I am very obedient, but in fact, sometimes I really want to eat. Now I want to stay with a person, but I can’t. So I want to stay with him like crazy."

"I don't understand. I like someone who is obviously not allergic, but why are there so many adverse reactions?"

"When I found out that I liked him, I was really uncomfortable. I couldn't think about what I would do when Song Yu was with someone else one day. But when we were really together, I felt tormented again. I dare not come back to see you guys , I dare not call you. My life is a burden to any family, it is difficult to support, and I am so selfish. You raise me as your own son, but I do this kind of thing."

His hands clenched unconsciously, and the paper was crumpled.

Seeing the little son who was always smiling and gritted his teeth to say these words, neither Song Jin nor Lin Rong could speak.

"Actually, I thought about it," Le Zhishi forced a smile, and told them his previous plan in a relatively relaxed tone, "At first I thought Song Yu was forced to agree to me, so I thought, this paragraph can I will cherish the time I am in love with him, and then wait... until the day he feels enough is enough, I will leave this house. Go to a place where no one knows me, work hard to make money, and then secretly send money to the card at home .”

Le Zhishi lowered his head in embarrassment and took out his mobile phone, rummaged through it, and began to speak in a mess, "I, I kept accounts, just... I spent money since I was a child, but, but I only started to keep records in the third grade of junior high school. I can only find a rough estimate of the annual expenditure on the Internet, but I have records of the rest. I, I want to multiply the money several times, and then, when I make money, except for the enough for me to eat and rent a house One point, and I will send back the rest of the money. Of course, these don’t pay off at all, nor can they make up for your emotional loss, but it’s better than nothing.”

Hearing this, Song Jin sat back on the sofa in a daze, shaking his head silently.

But Lezhi didn't stop. He took out the schedule in his mobile phone and showed it to them, as if he was discussing a happy family trip, "I have seen a lot of places suitable for settlement, both domestic and foreign. They Housing prices, consumption levels, and rent, I have made plans for all of these.”

"Look, I actually have a plan, right? Like Yunnan is very good. Yunnan is so beautiful and far away from here. It feels very suitable for hiding. I can rent a small house and raise a kitten. .Or stay in one place for a while and move around like that kind of agent, cool, but maybe earn a little less that way, not enough..."

The puppies walking on the street may not be wandering, the world is big, and the world is their home.

Only being tenderly raised once and then lost is the real wandering.

Every word that Le Zhishi uttered was pierced in the hearts of the two parents. No one thought that in this harmonious and beautiful home, the two children would live under the burden of collapse at any time.

What makes them even more unimaginable is that Le Zhishi calculates the burden he has caused to the family every day, hoping to pay it off in his lifetime.

Lin Rong finally couldn't listen anymore, and interrupted him with tears streaming down her face, "Lele! You... how can you think about these things?"

Le Zhishi endured it again and again, he wanted to laugh, but in the end he seemed to laugh and cry.

"Because I don't want to see Song Yu with someone else."

"Aunt Rong, I really love him very much." Le Zhishi held back his tears stubbornly, fearing that he would not be sincere and firm enough, "And after we got together, I realized that Song Yu also loves me very much , he can’t live without me. Do you know that sometimes he can’t even sleep alone, takes a lot of pills, and looks like he’s sick. I’m so scared.”

He muttered "I'm really scared", and kept repeating the words "I'm sorry".

"Uncle, Aunt Rong, I know that I have made a big mistake, I really know it. But if he sees me, he will be happier. In fact, it doesn't matter if he doesn't date, as long as he can let me accompany him. Other people's comments I don't care at all, I'm not even afraid of being abandoned, this kind of trust must be blind in your eyes, but the only thing I'm afraid of is that Song Yu will have a bad life, be unhealthy, and be unhappy."

Le Zhishi's lips and fingers were trembling, he lowered his head, a little annoyed that he couldn't manage his emotions well, and acted so vulnerable.

"Really, there are so many good cities in this world, but I have nowhere to go."

"I just want to stay with Song Yu."