door to happiness

Instead of living with his father, he rented a single room alone.The room is not big, less than fifteen square meters, which already includes the kitchen and toilet.But the house is relatively clean, neatly arranged and orderly, and the ground is as clean as new.He has always been a clean boy.There is only a laptop computer and a small speaker connected to it for entertainment in the house.

There is a guitar beside the bed, it doesn’t look very good quality, no more than [-] yuan; all the paintings on the wall are framed by myself, and the seal of "Hai Wuya" is printed on the paintings, so it can be concluded that it is a guitar. His own "masterpiece".

A small desk, on which a recently written calligraphy is pressed with an inkstone.The paper is not big, and the four characters "Sparse Plums and Light Shadows" are written on it.Most modern people use bottled ink for writing, but he still uses the ancient four treasures of paper, ink, brush, and inkstone.The inkstone is small, like a Duan inkstone, but its appearance is average.

He put away the inkstone, discarded the calligraphy, and brought up the notebook: "Do you want to see my photos from the past few years?"

I glanced at the calligraphy and painting that he threw away, and felt a little regretful: "It's pretty good, why did you throw it away? It's good to give it to me!"

"Here we go again! Just be honest, don't play tricks. That handwriting is much worse than yours! Why don't we work together to create a painting and calligraphy? After it's framed, hang it in my room!"

"Okay, that's a good idea! One picture is not enough, so make a few more. From now on, we will only hang our calligraphy and paintings in our room, and take down all others'."

He didn't speak anymore, just opened the photo album folder, and showed me the photos he had taken over the years one by one.I greedily looked at his photos, and secretly imagined his life in these years in my mind.These eight lost years, I want to get back from here.

He once worked on a construction site, and he looked clumsy in a hard hat and a blue-gray cloth shirt; he also set up a street stall and sold watermelons. He wore a straw hat and held a cattail fan, and he looked a bit like a country uncle. It means; he has worked as a customer service at the front desk, wearing a small black suit and a small bow tie, and he looks the most handsome with a smile; he has also been a...

"Your life is really wonderful!" Looking at his photo, I couldn't help but feel a little envious, "I just stayed in my dad's company all the time except "Vogue Magazine". Now that I think about it, my life has gone through 32 autumns. But my life still seems to be a blank slate."

"What do you want to do, you just do it. You are in your 30s, who else can stop you? If you want to do it, you have to do it, right?"

"Then there is no way to 'the clouds are calm and the wind is clear'?" I stared into his eyes, "Maybe there will be 'turbulent wind and clouds', 'compassion for the world'..."

"It's just a kind of attitude towards life. Life may be bumpy, and there will be such ordeals. We have to overcome it, but we can overcome it in a 'light and calm' way. Let me give you a simple example," he grabbed On my wrist, the scar was exposed, "This kind of treatment is not called 'wind and cloud'. People who are used to 'wind and cloud' will let your stepfather's words dissipate in the clouds; another example is you and mine Feelings, you have been persistent, you can even say that you are self-abuse, that's why you have such a miserable life. People who are used to "light and calm" are not not ignoring this feeling, but they will have a peaceful mind and seem to handle things easily, but Very ingenious. To put it simply, it is to cultivate one's morality."

"So tired!" I lay on the bed, "When did you start thinking so much? Don't you feel tired?"

He lay down next to me: "Since grandma put our hands together, I have been thinking about our problems. I have thought about everything before and after, reviewing what I did not do well, and seeing what you have done If you don’t do it right, think about what we must do if we must get back together so that we can maintain it for a long time. If you think too much, you will come up with some clues. My arrogance and stubbornness, your suspicion and sentimentality, all these must be discarded, Maybe we can merge."

On August 2016, 8, I moved out from home, rented a two-bedroom apartment with him, and lived together again.

My little mother sent me out of the house with tears in my eyes, as if my daughter was getting married, but she came to our residence a few hours later to clean up for us.Dad moved the LCD TV, laptop, refrigerator, and air conditioner here. It was a crazy big move.I originally wanted to create a simple "elegant room" with "the wind moves lightly", but after their hard work, this place has become another home.I'm just worried that one day they'll pack themselves in.

When he was about to leave the house, his father was always feeling guilty and uneasy: "Son, think again! The house you bought is for living in, why don't you just move in there." The real estate market was very good in the past few years, and my father has properties in Tianhe, Yuexiu, and Haizhu. Buy a house or two and count it as an investment.I haven't lived in it these years, but I have already rented it out.Although I intend to live there, I am afraid that once I live in it, I will be subject to a lot of restrictions. It would be better if we rent a house and make decisions on our own.

"It's close to Xiangyu's place of work, I like it! Dad, go back quickly!"

"It's your birthday in seven days. At that time, the two families will get together. First, it's a celebration of your birthday, and second, it's a warm home for you. These days, your mother will often come over to help, so don't think she's bothering you." .Ah? I know you guys want to be quiet—our two elders are quite annoying, and we won’t come after our birthdays. Bear with it for now!”

Hearing my father say such words, as if we had already begun to dislike them, I couldn't help but feel a little sad: "That's not the case, Dad, this is my son's home, you can come here if you want! When we are free, we will go to see Yours."

He is probably sad, sad that we would rather move to such a simple room than live with them.It's like newly married sons arguing to live alone.When people get old, they always want to find someone to rely on.At this time, it seems that only the son can be relied on, but the son always wants to enjoy the happiness of being alone.

I began to be sentimental again, and it seemed that I couldn't "be calm and calm" anymore.Will Li Xiangyu find out about this?

"Dad, wait a minute!" Li Xiangyu chased after him with his frail body, let go of his clenched hands, and held a key in his palm, "I miss us, so come and see my son and granddaughter."

Dad looked up and looked at the back room, and there was the sound of jingle music playing loudly from the back room. At this moment, she must be "dancing" to the anime on TV.The wrinkles on his forehead gradually unfolded, revealing a mouthful of yellow teeth: "Okay, okay!"

Li Xiangyu went into the kitchen, tidying up.Just moved here, dust is everywhere, the walls look like a village girl with spots, after he cleaned it, it immediately looked brand new, like a slim girl with a lotus in water, white and clean, refreshing.

"Ding Dong, help Dad take out the trash."

"Hey——" The sound from the speakers in the room was deafening, mixed with a weak jingle in response.But Ding Dong didn't come out for a long time.

"Ding Dang——, help Dad take out the trash."

I walked casually to the kitchen, picked up the trash, and wanted to leave, but I saw Li Xiangyu's gloomy face, not at all calm: "Let it go, don't spoil the child too much! You are not hurting her, you are hurting her." .Raising a child is not so easy!"

"Isn't it just a bag of garbage? You take it too seriously when you're on the line. 'The wind is light and the clouds are calm', good boy, 'the wind is light and the clouds are calm'!"

He tried to squeeze out a smile: "I'm just 'the wind is light and the clouds are calm', otherwise I would rush to the bedroom, lift her out, and give her a hard lesson!"

He took the trash bag from my hand, threw it back into the trash can, and limped towards Ding Dong's bedroom.

Well, what is "the wind is light and the clouds are calm", anyway, he interprets it at will every time.He is an authoritarian and wants everything to go his way.In order to achieve his goal, he always uses this and that to restrain the other party. "The wind is light and the clouds are calm" is just a means he uses to achieve "dictatorship"...

Wait, am I being paranoid again?Is there a criterion for his "light wind and calm" that I just haven't been able to understand?

My face was hot, and I suddenly remembered the words he said in the hospital that day: "Such a person, even if there is no problem, he will create problems." The ditch is deep.

In the hall, the father and daughter sat facing each other, with a glass of fruit orange in front of each other.

"First, do what you can and help your family share the burden. For example, my father and godfather (note: referring to me) will go to work to make money to support the family, and buy vegetables and cook for you to eat. Your love. Then, you should also do what you can to show your love for your father and godfather. Do you know?"

"know."

"Then what are you going to do?"

"Do what I can do myself."

"What can you do?"

"Wash the dishes, sweep the floor, take out the trash."

"Okay. Then let's talk about the second point. We must take the initiative to learn to do more things. For example, just now you learned to dance. This is a great thing and deserves praise. Come on, Dad, give me a kiss first." He poked body, pouted, and Ding Dong greeted him cooperatively, and a sweet kiss was born soon, "Dad hopes that you can learn more things in the future, such as washing your own clothes and socks, and helping Dad to pat tie……"

I head into our bedroom shaking my head and start packing our things.Hang what should be hung, hang what should be aired, and spread what should be spread... Yes, spread what should be spread, such as thoughts.

I lay on the bed, thinking of Li Xiangyu's handsome face, a smile appeared on the corner of my mouth.He loves children, he teaches children so well and persuasively, "the wind is light and the clouds are calm", he is really suitable to be a father.Where would he be now if I hadn't "seduced" him ten years ago?

He entered the bedroom and lay down next to me: "You have started to fantasize again, as long as you are alone, you will unconsciously fantasize. Tell me, what did you think of?"

Why can he always see into my heart so easily?

"I was thinking, if I hadn't seduced you back then, wouldn't you be with your wife and your son today?"

He turned sideways and smiled secretly: "I'm in a good mood today, why don't I give you a gift. Let me tell you a secret. In fact... I fell in love with you first!"