Summertime

The dinner that night ended at [-]:[-] p.m. Zhou Xiao asked for the contact information of Xizao, and it seemed that everyone got what they wanted and went home satisfied.

But Zhou Mi was not in a hurry to go back. He parked the car in the parking lot of the community, bought a lot of cans of beer at the convenience store on the side of the road, and walked along the street to the corner of a middle school in this area while smoking. At night, the school was closed, and the surroundings were dark. Zhou Mi looked around, but there was no one there. He skillfully stepped on the raised bricks on the side wall, and jumped over the wall.

The school is not big, but because no one came and went at night, it became much quieter without the hustle and bustle of the day. Zhou Mi tore off the annoying pattern tie on his neck, opened a few buttons in front of the collar of his white shirt, and opened the door with one hand. With his trouser pockets in his pockets, he walked past a playground, a pool of sand, and a fitness area, and came to the deepest part of the school, where there was a small football field surrounded by a plastic running track.

Except for the dots of light in the residential area in the distance, the sports field was pitch black. Zhou Mi lay flat on the somewhat prickly artificial lawn, looking at the dark blue night sky in front of him, silent.Except when there is a power outage in the whole city, the night sky in the city is hardly full of stars, and because of the lack of bright light sources in this place, on a clear night, you can find many other places in the sky above the stadium. The starlight that arrived, blurred and far away.But what Zhou Mi saw was more the flashing red light of the night plane, like a moving star, slowly disappearing at the end of the city.Many times in the past, Zhou Mi thought that he saw the brightest star in the night sky of this city, which was so clear and real, but in the end he found that it was just a flying light flickering in the sky. What to look forward to, because he knows that most of the time it is empty fun, and expectations will turn into disappointment in the end. There is nothing natural in this city, and artificial processing is mixed everywhere, just like the air is always filled with The smog is thick or light, and the darkness of the city is not really black. Lights of various colors are everywhere, dazzling, dim, and never stop.

The current Zhou Mi is not like that in the past. He likes to lie on the playground of the empty campus when he has nothing to do, and stare at the stars in the sky with his arms on his pillow for an hour or two.Over the years in Shanghai, the old habits have gradually faded due to changes in the environment and are no longer clear.I don't know when, Zhou Mi seldom went to the school playground to watch the night scene. Even if he went, he would just lie flat on the lawn and squint his eyes for a little rest. He would definitely get up and leave within half an hour.The night sky is still the night sky, but the location has changed, and the night stars have also dimmed. Zhou Xiao is still Zhou Xiao, but the age has passed and the mood has changed. Habits are still habits, but there are no more students, and there is also a lack of leisure.

In fact, many things are different, but Zhou Mi doesn't like this kind of change. It would be great if people's mood can stay the same.Zhou Mi, who was a student, liked the gentle summer breeze and the starry sky on the playground at night. Perhaps his family had changed and his father owed a huge amount of debt. The daily quarrels and scolding in the family made Zhou Mi, who was not wealthy at the time, had to choose A suitable place to escape, to meditate.But even if the troubles surrounding Zhou Mi were piled up one by one like hills, Zhou Xiaomi could still feel a kind of freedom, peace and comfort on the campus playground under the night sky.But today, Zhou Mi is no longer the poor boy he used to be. He even knows that his current life has already floated with the upper class of this city where the fittest survive, and is envied by most people. Something has been missing.He can no longer find the feeling he had when he was a student. Obviously he already has the beauty of the present, so why do he always like to nostalgia, nostalgia for the previous student days, and those feelings that will never return, the state of freedom and laissez-faire.Facing the reality, Zhou Mi felt lost and had to give himself a reasonable explanation, otherwise he would never be able to let go.

Perhaps from the moment I entered the society, those carefree, willful, free and unrestrained young green onions in my student days were really taken away by time.Society is not a campus. Unconsciously, it will transform you into another you, from the inside out, from the soul to the body, and gradually replace the past you. In this case, it is only natural that I have lost the emotions of the past.If you don't want to forget, you can only find a place similar to the old time, and seek comfort while feeling nostalgic.

But today, the sentimentality and nostalgia in Zhou Mi's heart seems to have been flooded. Tonight's dinner is the old man he met, so that his old memories will flourish, and all the stories at that time will be randomly searched out. What was once blurred became clear, and the outlines of the past were also added with details. When all the memory fragments were pieced together, Zhou Mi was pleasantly surprised to find that the old time passed by, but it never changed, just like the old man, Nothing has changed, Zhou Mi seems to have suddenly found the part of him that he didn't know when he was missing, and he seems to have changed back to the him when he was young. Although this feeling is not strong, it has already made Zhou Mi ecstatic .

Of course, not meeting all old people will bring such a long-lost feeling to Zhou Mi, just because that old person is that person, it can only be her, Xizao.

The evening breeze blew past, blowing the wet plastic bags in the convenience store beside Zhou Mi, and there were empty wine cans on the lawn that were pinched and deformed. Zhou Mi felt hot all over, and he stretched out his hands randomly Touching the beer cans on the grass, going back and forth several times, the soda cans caught were all empty, and Zhou Mi realized that he had drunk all the wine.

It's time to go back, but Zhou Mi still doesn't want to go home. At this time, he slightly opened his mouth upturned, his drunken eyes were half-opened, looking at the dark blue sky mixed with light red thin clouds, obsessed with Don't want to get up.It was as if he had seen something that didn't belong to the perennially gray urban night sky. It was the starry sky that he could only see on the college campus when he was 20 years old.

The cool evening wind that passed by at low altitude aroused the drunkenness in Zhou Mi's body even more. He felt his head was in chaos, and his consciousness gradually became blurred. He seemed to smell the familiar sea breeze. He smelled a faint smell of tobacco from Zhongnanhai, mixed with the smell of chemicals in the artificial turf. He seemed to feel the smooth and delicate touch of the little hand he held in his palm, and felt a few traces of it. The soft short hair fluttering in the breeze caressed the gentle tickle on his rough face unintentionally. He seemed to have seen the gloom in the suburban campus far away from the urban area, and the stars shining in the sky above it. , the cool and quiet thin face under the short hair disheveled by the breeze, and the long and pointed chin.

"When will you move in?"

On the dimly lit playground, Zhou Mi looked at the jujube cross-legged in front of her eyes, the red tobacco sparks burning the thin cigarette paper, the smoke gradually became shorter, and the white smoke poured out from her dark red lips, It was blown away by the southerly sea breeze in an instant, and disappeared behind her thin body.

"Two days after tomorrow." Zhou Mi was a little dazed, and replied after a pause.

"I have something to do, so I shouldn't be able to see you off." She flicked the cigarette ash off her legs, snuffed out the cigarette butt, and lay down with him, hugging her head.

"It's fine if you can lie down on the playground with me tonight." Zhou Xiaomi turned his head and rubbed that little head without fear.

"Why do you like blowing hair on the playground?"

"Because there are stars, wind, and few people, I often come here when I am upset, and my mood will be much better after sitting."

"Very well, I'm not like you, I like to stay in the dormitory and don't want to go out."

"Stay in the bedroom and read?"

"Not really." She shook her head, wanting to deny it, but instead gave an ambiguous answer.

"Xizao, besides bars and books, do you have other activities?"

Zhou Mi couldn't help but smile bitterly. In Xizao's life, there seemed to be only these two things left. Every time she contacted her, her response was very short and slow, neither salty nor bland, nor enthusiastic.She said that she doesn't like chatting. When she is free, she always reads and doesn't like to be disturbed.Over time, Zhou Mi also knew her temperament, and the connection between him and Xizao became less and less because of this relationship, but the relationship gradually deepened. Zhou Mi liked this kind of Zizao more and more. She was different from all the girls he knew, different, but because of the difference, he didn't dare to approach her.I can only pay close attention to him silently and get closer little by little through the brotherhood.

"Everyone can't get together as often as before, and they all left."

"I'm about to graduate, there's no way."

Xizao's response made Zhou Mi feel nameless desolation. He seemed to have realized that those happy times not long ago would no longer exist, and even the person next to him might not be easy to meet in the future. Even if they Still in the same city.Everyone has their own time and life, especially jujube.

Zhou Mi really wants to do something, if he doesn't do it, he will have no chance, but he has never had a chance, and today he is just letting go of his sorrow, and his previous timidity has become brave .

He stretched out his hand to hold the right hand next to his left hand, and clenched it carefully little by little. The people around him didn't move at all, Xizao didn't resist, and Zhou Mi was even bolder. He went deep slowly, and then lightly Gently rubbing the warm and smooth palm, back and forth, Xizao still didn't make a move, just breathing quietly.

"No matter what happens in the future, we will always get together, right?"

In the dark, Zhou Mi raised the corners of her mouth and asked with a smile.

The person beside her didn't reply, Zhou Mi turned her head and saw the pair of long eyelashes swaying gently in the wind, and then the smell of tobacco from Zhongnanhai floated out of her mouth along with a puff of white smoke, followed by The wind cleared.

"Ah."

Xizao still had his eyes closed, but this long-overdue reply made Zhou Xiaomi extremely happy. He turned his head and saw the familiar starlight in the sky, and was intoxicated by it.And his fingers bent unconsciously, tightly clasped the ten fingers of the little hand in his palm, the little hand trembled slightly, but still did not refuse.

"It's cold, let's go back."

Soon, the person beside her stood up, and pulled away from Zhou Xiaomi without leaving a trace. She lit a cigarette again and stood up from the lawn.

"it is good."

Zhou Mi smiled disappointedly, stood up, and accompanied Xizao to the brightly lit dormitory buildings not far away.

Zhou Xiaomi didn't know that it was the last time he saw Xizao, and in the next eight years, Xizao gradually disappeared from everyone's life, resolutely and quietly.

And that time was the first time he held Xizao's hand, and it was also the last time.

After eleven o'clock at night, Zhou Mi stayed in this small middle school playground for almost two hours, his chaotic eyes gradually became clear, he sighed, stood up with difficulty, bent down to pick up the beer cans on the ground Putting it into a plastic bag, shaking his drunken body, he walked towards home.