Summertime

Now, Su Xi doesn't know how to define the relationship between her and Xizao.

What kind of role does Zizao play in her life?

lover?This word is too filthy, she has never used this slightly flashy word on Xi Zao.

lover?But she is married.

friend?Not anymore.

In fact, there is no need to define it, just maintain the status quo, isn’t it good now, what do you want to do so much.

It's not that Su Xi hasn't thought about her and Xizao's future, she also wants their relationship to be justified, she's thought about everything, but that's all, even now her thoughts are still at the most superficial level On the level, because the progress bar of her thinking is always stuck on the fortress of family ties, she can't help but feel flustered when she thinks of Mi and Tongtong, so flustered that she can't think about it any more. Su Xi also wants to think deeply, give An answer Xizao wanted, but she couldn't find it!

If you can't find it, let's talk about it someday.

Su Xi once again found a reason for herself to procrastinate. Yes, she is used to procrastinating. She can't change it anymore. The bad habit she developed in middle school has been continuing. She is like this in high school, she is like this in college, and now She is still the same, she doesn't want to force herself to do things she doesn't like, don't want to do, don't want to think about, so just take it easy, wait, procrastinate, procrastinate until a certain day, things will happen by themselves It doesn't matter if it's resolved, she always only wants to enjoy herself in time, sweet first and then bitter, but sooner or later, the debt owed will be repaid, but most of the time, on the day of repaying the debt, she has already put away all the valuable things. Spending everything, she can't afford the huge debt, and can only bear the corresponding consequences, evil consequences.

If her faults could be corrected, she would not have failed in the postgraduate exam at the age of 21. If her faults could be corrected, she would not have accepted a certain job that her parents had placed for herself in the unit after failing to find a job. If her problems can be corrected, her current husband will not be Zhou Mi, and perhaps she will have the right to choose not to marry.If "if" comes true, she can live the life she wants, she can become a self-reliant, single nobleman who can do her own way, can have fun unscrupulously, and then wait until one day she has savings, in the bar street To open a small bar in her fantasy, Su Xi doesn't need stability, what she wants is freedom and indulgence.

Unfortunately, everything in reality is not if.

Actually, isn't the current life pretty good, Su Xi comforted herself with self-deprecation.

At the age when she was supposed to be struggling, she had already lived an extremely nourishing life early. She didn't have to work hard for the house, for the children, and for the family like most of her peers in the city. She didn't need to work hard. Career, because her ambition is not here, she doesn't need to work on the family, because millet has given her a rich life, and she doesn't even need to circle around the children every day, because the mother can help her look after and raise the children.

Isn't the reality very good? Maybe, "if" comes true, she still needs to fight for herself and work hard, but now she doesn't need to fight for everything she has got, so she has nothing to complain about .

That being the case, why does she have to comfort herself with self-deprecation? Maybe, she still feels that there is a fly in the ointment, maybe, what she can't get is always the best.

It was as if she felt that the reunion with Xi Zao was the best gift God had given her, because part of the "what if" came true.There was a time when Su Xi really believed that she could see the result between two people, but after that quarrel with Mi, she saw many things clearly.

It is not only Mi, but also Tongtong who help her see the reality clearly.

In the early morning of that day, Mi took her back from Xizao's house when she was very drunk without making a sound. Su Xi still clearly remembered how Mi was kneeling on the bedside to help her wipe her tears. His face was full of remorse, uneasiness, and heartache. .Mi has been apologizing in a low voice. He said, I'm sorry, because of work, I have been neglecting my family. In the future, he will spend more time with himself and his children.

That time, Su Xi felt guilty for what she had done for the first time, because she hadn't taken this marriage seriously from the beginning.

At daybreak, she decided to apologize to Tongtong with her spontaneous sense of guilt. The child shouldn't be involved in the irrational disputes between adults, but Tongtong became the victim of that malicious quarrel. Because of the adult's impulsiveness and negligence, the ugliness and darkness of human nature are presented naked in front of the child's eyes. Su Xi feels that she is so selfish and cruel.But Tongtong just held his head with his small hands, and expressed his thoughts with a childish voice.

"Mommy, can Mommy treat Dad better in the future, because Dad loves Mommy just like he loves Tongtong."

Tong Yan Wuji, even a five-year-old child can see all the abnormalities, so can't you see it?

"it is good."

Su Xi burst into tears, she solemnly agreed to Tongtong's innocent little request, and this response was also an agreement to herself.

She never thought that she was a qualified wife, but at that moment, she realized again that she was not even a competent mother.

At first, she thought that she was just living a "life" that belonged to others, because she stubbornly believed that this was not her ideal life, but time was like an inconspicuous grinding stone, inadvertently Little by little, her stubborn obsessions, bulging desires, and ridiculous unwillingness were worn away, and she was transformed from a hard grain into a mediocre powder. Unknowingly, Su Xi was no longer what she used to be. That's her.

In the past, she didn't like mediocrity, and even disdained to integrate into an "ordinary" life, but now, this is Su Xi's life, and she has unconsciously accepted it, because now, Su Xi suddenly realizes that she would rather not have those things she once yearned for. There is a colorful life, but she can't live without millet and Tongtong. She suddenly finds that her dream of running a small bar is so pale and distant, like a flashy daydream, she feels that she has found it now. Why didn't she notice the joy of living with a husband and a child? Even after she reconciled with Mi, she rarely even went to bars.

Su Xi's changes are actually subtle, and time has left a foreshadowing in the imprints of the past.Su Xi is always thinking, but she has never really done it, so her emptiness will not become reality. It is not that she is incapable of obtaining the world she imagined, but that she has never had the courage to step out of the world she set up. Because of her hesitation, her hesitation, her procrastination, and her evasion, she is as ordinary as before, calm and calm.If you don't change, you can't get what you expect. In the end, no matter how unwilling people are, they can only gradually become mediocre. Just like how wonderful a script is, if you don't perform it, it will just leave a pile of waste about imagination in the end. Paper, but those who want to be the protagonists can only continue to play some little-known small roles forever.

This is Su Xi's transformation, she has learned to cherish and be content, and she has already abandoned most of the things that do not belong to her current life, except for one person, she is still unwilling to give up.

Dates.

And the love with Xizao.

That was the only thing not mediocre she could have.

But no matter what kind of relationship it is, it needs to be managed. Su Xi also wants to create the romantic relationship she wants, but if she only cares about Xizao, her family will be destroyed by her own hands one day. She doesn't want so.

Yes, Su Xi is greedy. She wants to own Xizao and take care of the family. She can't give up either party, but she can't do both. Su Xi knows that if this continues, the harm to Xizao will last forever , Su Xi would also blame herself and feel guilty. She had been thinking of a way, and she thought that she would definitely come up with a solution to both sides, and then give a perfect explanation to Xizao who was waiting hard, but Su Xi didn't think of it, suddenly , From a certain day, Xizao changed, became peaceful and accommodating, she no longer pursued or begged for anything from herself, she seemed to care about nothing, not demanding, even, her requirements seemed to have changed. It's so low, so low, is it so low that as long as the relationship between me and her continues, that's enough, and she's satisfied?

Xizao didn't say anything, but Su Xi got what she thought was the conclusion from the unprecedented harmony between the two of them.

Perhaps, Xizao has been content with the status quo.

Su Xi didn't know why she breathed a sigh of relief.

Could it be that in this way, she can procrastinate for a while, because the problems that are between her and Xizao that are urgent to be solved have become less urgent.

Then, just take it easy.

In reality, the happiness of having the best of both worlds came suddenly, and she had to stop her restless pace, sit down and enjoy it first.

However, it seems that some things are different, subtle changes have been going on quietly, until the accumulation reaches a certain level, and the hidden signs are no longer obscure, Su Xi finally wakes up, she still found something, and this time, she What she noticed made her uneasy.

I don't know when, the high-frequency words in Xizao's mouth changed from CouCi to Gu Xia.

I don't know when it started, Xizao would actually be in a daze during the precious alone time between the two of them, but the object of her daze was not herself.

I don't know when, she is no longer the only focus of Xizao, she also learns to care about other people's life besides herself, Gu Xia's work, Gu Xia's blind date, Gu Xia's new lover.

At first, Su Xi didn't pay attention to these inconspicuous details, she thought she was worrying too much, Xizao was still the same Xizao who had always been good to her, nothing changed, what she saw was just some illusions.

But now, Su Xi had to overthrow her self-righteous thought.

After Xizao left in a hurry that night, Su Xi never called Xizao's mobile number again. In the early morning of the next day, when she called again worriedly, the person who answered was Gu Xia. The woman, the voice is so tired, she said that drinking too much jujube caused stomach bleeding, she was sent to the hospital for medical treatment last night, and she still hasn't woken up.

"Have you been drinking jujube?!"

Su Xi thought she heard it wrong, she was surprised and wanted to confirm it again.

"I was careless. Xizao kept saying that she could drink it, and I thought it was all right, but after the guests left, I found out that something happened."

Unfortunately not, she heard correctly, Gu Xia's explanation forced Su Xi to admit the reality.

Xizao said that she had given up drinking since she resigned from the bar. She had quit drinking for eight years, and she hadn’t touched a single drop of alcohol for eight years. Xi Zao never accepted even a glass of wine that he handed over.

However, this kind of Xizao can block the wine brought by others for the woman named Gu Xia. Easily, Xizao broke the rules and regulations that had been kept for eight years, and she even regarded the wine as water for that woman. Reluctantly pretending to be strong, she knew that her stomach had an old disease, but she still hurt her body because of that woman.

Why, she has to work so hard?

why!