Be Dazai's mother

Master Xiuzhi's fever did not subside.Instead, he burned even worse.At night, the housekeeper hurriedly called the doctor, Mr. Oshima, over again.

I couldn't go in to watch, but I just vaguely heard other maids say: "The wound is inflamed, and the fever won't go away. I have to send it to the hospital for treatment, or I'm afraid the fever will disappear."

The snowstorm at night was particularly heavy.As soon as the door of Tsushima's house was opened, the cold wind mixed with snow blew in, causing the servants waiting on both sides to shiver a few times.The cold moonlight made the whistling wind and snow outside even more desolate. When one looked outside, the world outside the gate was so dark and horrifying that there were evil ghosts lurking.

Master Xiuzhi was well dressed, and his body was wrapped in a thick quilt like a pupa.His eyes were closed, his hair was a little messy, his pale face had a sickly blush, he was panting like a goldfish, and he looked precarious.

As the head of the Tsushima family, the master still has important work, so he can't come back.Master Xiuzhi's eldest brother lived in the school, and the other brothers and sisters were still young and had already gone to their rooms to sleep.In the end, the butler carried Master Xiu Zhi into the car, and took him to a nearby big hospital with the driver.

He looks so small.The old butler, who was already a certain age, could easily pick him up.Memories of Mei's brokenness flashed through my mind.In Mei's lonely childhood, she once picked up a little bird covered in blood.

Shocked by such a fragile and scarred life, she cried and wondered who could save it?In the end, it could only be seen that the seriously injured bird stopped breathing, and his body gradually became cold.

Looking at the backs of their departure, it seemed like a piece of lead was sinking in my heart.

"Go to work." Sayuri who was standing next to me patted my shoulder and said.

I nodded, my heart was extremely heavy, and I didn't think of Miss Mami's advice not to get too close to Sayuri. I just nodded indiscriminately, picked up the broom and walked to the living room absent-mindedly.

The Tsushima family is one of the most wealthy families in this area. The house is so big that I couldn't imagine it before, and cleaning it is not easy.After just a few days, my hands felt numb.

To be honest, I am not a person who can endure pain.Just a little swelling and pain can make me uncomfortable.

Then, how many times did Master Xiuzhi, who was almost covered in scars, leave these marks under the pain?

The broom swept the dust on the ground and made a "swish" sound. While sweeping the floor, I thought, why did Master Xiuzhi have so many injuries?

I'm sure it won't happen overnight.

But as the young master of a wealthy family, who can hurt Master Xiuzhi?Maybe it's other classmates in the school. In school, children who are different are easily excluded and bullied.

I remembered how he told me earlier that all the injuries on his body were from falls, and that he was bandaged because of that cool thing.

At that time, the contrast between his soft smile and the interlaced scars I saw just now made my brain ache, and the bitterness came up again.

Back then, when I heard Master Xiuzhi say that he was handsome in bandages, I thought he was childish—just thinking about it made me feel even more uncomfortable.

Why didn't I notice it?What an idiot I am.

Well, when Master Xiuzhi comes back, try asking him.

I was thinking so, but I didn't expect that the next day, Master Xiu Zhi still hadn't come back.

Then came the third day, the fourth day, and the fifth day.

Master Xiuzhi still hasn't come back.

The snow has been falling more and more these days, and the weather is unbelievably cold.When I looked out the window, what I saw there was a white world covered in snow.Even the exhaled breath seemed to freeze immediately.

In the past few days, I often look out the window, feeling more and more anxious in the seemingly eternal picture.After all, Master Xiuzhi still hasn't come back.

Could it be that the disease is getting worse?As I thought about it, the scars on Master Xiuzhi's body I saw a few days ago couldn't go away in my mind, making me so anxious that I couldn't sleep every day, and I went to work with a pale face.

Fortunately, I am very aware of my situation and know that I have no right to relax at work because of a bad mood.Even in this moment of mental distress, I have done the work I have to do.The others didn't notice anything wrong either.

In the end it was Mami-san who discovered my anomaly.

"How do you feel that you've lost so much weight in just a few days?" Miss Mami asked with a frown.

"I can't sleep well." I smiled tiredly.

"Is that so? I thought you had some secret recipe for losing weight." Mami said with a smile, "If you have any, don't forget to tell me."

Ms. Asami heard that she was a beauty in the early years, and then she eloped with someone and gave birth to twins before she got married.It's just that she doesn't know people well, and the guy who eloped with her back then is also a jerk.After Miss Mami became pregnant, she abandoned her and left by herself.Miss Mami had to raise the two children alone.

Fortunately, she is able to endure hardships and can do all kinds of heavy work, so that the three of them can live a good life.It's just that she is overworked because of this, and her weight is constantly increasing.Now in my forties, although I have deliberately controlled my body shape, I still look a little fat.

By the way, I hesitated to call her "Mrs. Kimura" because of this (Ms. Mami's full name is Asami Kimura), but Miss Mami herself was pregnant first before marriage, and she never had any relationship with anyone else. Put it on work and two kids.In addition, she doesn't seem to like being called "Mrs." In the end, I chose to call her "Miss Asami".

I can feel that she is also happy when I call her "Miss" instead of "Mrs" or "Madame".

"Don't make fun of me, Mami-san." I said helplessly.

Miss Asami shook her head when she heard the words, and said, "Okay, but why can't you fall asleep?"

She stared at me and said, "Because the place for you to sleep is too crude? The quilt is too hard? Or is it for your own future?"

If it was because of these traps, I might be a little more relaxed.But I was facing the toughest and most complex problem ever faced.

Even if tomorrow is the end of the world, I won't be so troubled.

After all, the end of the world is coming, I just have to wait for death obediently.But what worries me now is the issue of life.

"Then..." Miss Mami's dark eyes flashed with emotion, and she asked, "Are you worrying about Master Xiuzhi?"

I opened my mouth and said, "How can it be? Master Xiuzhi and I have only known each other for a few days?" I covered my mouth and laughed as if I heard some funny joke.

I am sure that my smile must be perfect, no one can see the slightest mistake.In addition, I covered my mouth, so it is difficult for even the keenest person to see anything.

But Mami-san still looked at me with eyes that seemed to see right through me, and said clearly: "Normal people really don't worry about a child they have only known for a few days."

"—but 'mother' will."

I froze in place, tried my best to show an awkward smile, and said, "What are you talking about? Master Xiuzhi, how can Master Xiuzhi be my child?"

Although I tried my best to look as if nothing had happened, my voice was trembling, and I seemed to be stumbling a bit when I spoke.

"After all, I am also a woman who has given birth to two children." Miss Asami snorted and said, "When you look at Master Xiuzhi, you can't go wrong with the look of 'mother'."

"Of course, I know that you are not Master Xiuzhi's biological mother. Or, because you are not Master Xiuzhi's mother, I accidentally misunderstood. I thought you were the same as those other maids."

Thinking of "those maids" in Mami-san's words, my mouth felt bitter.

"Although I don't know exactly what's going on, there is no doubt that you regard Master Xiuzhi as your own child." Miss Mami almost ruthlessly tore apart the fact that I wanted to hide, her serious face at this moment It looked hideous to me.

Because I realized Miss Asami was right.

Even if this mood is distorted, it's just this body, the obsession with the child left over from Mei's body, but it's really inconceivable that I developed ridiculous feelings for Master Shuzhi during the very short time we got along.

This is not true, I am well aware of this.

"This is not correct." Miss Asami said, and she said in that casual tone: "Master Xiuzhi..."

——"It's a 'monster'."

Her mouth was open, and her yellowish face looked extremely terrifying under the dim light.It seems that something is about to break free from that pair of human skin soon, revealing the posture of a bloody evil spirit.

Startled, I subconsciously took a step back.When he realized that such an action seemed a bit impolite, he subconsciously looked at Mami-san again.

"Ma, Miss Mei?" I said in a trembling voice.Even without a mirror, I can imagine the horror on my face at this moment.

"What's wrong?" Mami-san looked at me suspiciously.

She is still normal.Maybe it's because I've been too tired lately, that's why I regard Mami-san as an evil spirit.Thinking of it this way, I inevitably felt a kind of guilt in my heart.

Mami-san doesn't know what I'm thinking.She just looked at me with disapproving eyes, grabbed me and continued to babble, and said, "I can guess it just by looking at you. You probably have a child, and you are a gentle People, that’s why I feel pity when I see Young Master Xiuzhi. I’m also someone who has experienced this, and I can understand this feeling, but you’d better not worry about it so much. For people like us, we should thank God for being able to live..."

Asami-san is still talking non-stop, but my consciousness has gone to nowhere.

Most humans are much scarier than monsters.Greedy, ugly, selfish, arrogant and hopelessly stupid.Even the wraiths in the world are formed by the obsession of human beings when they die.

In comparison, monsters are much more lovable.

What's more, Master Xiuzhi has never been a monster.I think so.

If I really want to say it, I think he is an extremely pure and delicate person, a good boy like a god.

And I am not the gentle person that Mami-san said, and I have feelings for Master Xiuzhi not out of pity or sympathy.I just used Master Xiuzhi to satisfy my own obsession because of the remaining obsession in this body.

I am also one of those humans who are selfish, stupid and arrogant.

That night, I had a dream.

In my dream, I was standing on the floor of the corridor, and the cherry blossom tree next to me was in full bloom, and many soft pink petals fell from the tree, and were blown here along the wind, bringing a burst of fragrance.

And the child who was bathed by the cherry blossoms—Master Xiuzhi stretched out his hand.

He looked at me, smiled slightly, and called me softly surrounded by cherry blossom petals.

--""Mother"."

The author has something to say: Gu Gu Gu Gu, I'm back (.

I thought no one would read this story at all, so I kept fishing for it.I didn’t expect someone to urge me to change it, I’m so touched (?

Daily updates should start today, please give me your advice (.

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Originally, I just wanted to write ordinary (? But I didn’t expect to be unable to describe suicide, so I completely revised the outline during this period, probably completely going to the suspenseful ghost style (use another way to round up the setting.

I will write it _(:з」∠)_

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Thanks for the time:

Thanks to the little angel who threw mines: 1 Natsu;

Thanks to the little angel of the irrigation nutrient solution: 20 bottles of milk and salt, green merchants; 1 bottle of Fafa and lemon essence (ovo);

Thank you very much for the support of little angels (づ￣3￣)づ