Be Dazai's mother

"I'm just an ordinary drug seller." Said the man who was dressed so gorgeously that he didn't look like an ordinary person, and whose appearance was as handsome and coquettish as a ghost.

Hearing this, I was puzzled.

Drug seller?

It was not uncommon for a pharmacist to show up at a doctor's quarters.After all, he had to sell his medicine.But maybe it's a woman's intuition, I always feel that he is not just a drug seller.

Even like my intuition, maybe it's a monster, or the kind that specializes in eating the hearts of noble ladies.

But I don't have much time to think about it. Isn't the most important thing now is to bring Mr. Oshima back to see a doctor for Master Xiuzhi?

Just at this time, Mr. Oshima who heard the voice finally came out of the room. He looked to be of a certain age, wearing a white coat, white cloth socks and clogs.

Before I could say anything, Mr. Oshima said, "Is this the new maid? Is Master Xiuzhi sick again?"

I was startled by his usual tone, but the situation of Master Xiuzhi didn't allow me to ask more questions, so I just nodded anxiously and said: "Yes, please go over there."

Mr. Oshima said: "Okay, then I'll go change my clothes first." Then, he looked at the drug seller again, waved him away with disgust, and said, "Didn't I say that I don't need this kind of work?" Unknown medicine? Go, go!"

The drug seller shook his head helplessly, his expression even looked a little pitiful.

It is indeed a tragic thing for those who sell medicines for a living to find no one willing to buy them.After all, no one buys medicine, which means no money.Money is a necessity, without which one cannot live.

It may be too cruel to say this, but it is true.If you want to live beautifully, or just want to live, money is essential.

Thinking of this, I couldn't help but feel a little sympathy when I looked at the drug seller.

The drug seller gave me a half-smile.His lips were painted with a strange lip makeup, slightly raised.Even when he wasn't smiling, that lip makeup made the drug seller look like he was smiling all the time.

For some reason, I thought of Master Shuji who seemed to be smiling all the time.

At this time, Mr. Oshima, who had changed into a more solemn attire, came out with a nurse beside him.Mr. Oshima said to me: "I've been waiting for a long time, let's go."

I responded to Mr. Oshima and led them to Tsushima's house.Before leaving, he subconsciously wanted to take a look at the drug seller, but found that there was no one there.

Maybe they left while we were talking. In such a cold winter, the drug sellers found that they couldn't find a way to make money here, so they had to go to the next shop to sell their drugs.

This kind of situation is also very normal, I didn't think much about it, I was only thinking about the sick young master Xiuzhi.

When Mr. Oshima came to Tsushima's house, he and the nurse walked in familiarly.And I was guarding outside the bedroom door with other servants.

After waiting for a long time, Mr. Oshima came out, and Miss Asami came out with him. After they talked for a while, Miss Asami said to me: "Sachiko, send Mr. Oshima out."

I nodded and sent Mr. Oshima to Tsushima's house.

When we got outside, Mr. Oshima said, "Okay, just send it here."

Seeing that the doctor was about to leave here, I thought of Master Xiuzhi in the room, and before he left, I couldn't help calling in a low voice: "Excuse me, can I ask you a question?"

Mr. Oshima gave me a strange look and said, "Excuse me."

I took a deep breath and said nervously, "Is Master Xiuzhi okay?"

Mr. Oshima frowned, and before I became flustered, he showed an even more surprised expression than before.He looked at me as if he were looking at an unprecedented monster, and muttered indistinctly: "It's really strange..."

He might have said something else, but I didn't catch it clearly. When I was about to ask the other party to speak louder, I heard Mr. Oshima regain his normal volume and his indifferent and calm expression. He said, "It's nothing serious. It's just at night." It’s just a little fever after catching a cold, take medicine and sleep for a while, and wait for the fever to drop.”

After finishing speaking, Mr. Oshima seemed a little anxious and grabbed his relatively high-end clothes, then waved his hand and left without saying anything.

Looking at the back of Mr. Oshima leaving, I thought about his actions just now.

It was obvious that the doctor was not used to the clothes on his body. Perhaps for him, the white coat he wore at the beginning was the most comfortable.But when I came to Tsushima's house, I still had to change into clothes that were not comfortable at all, which was really troublesome.

When I walked back to Tsushima's house, I hesitated for a while, and finally decided to visit Master Xiuzhi quietly.

Just take a look, just take a look.

I prayed in my heart.

It's disgusting, isn't it?Last night, I was still terrified by my distorted emotions towards Master Xiuzhi, and actually substituted my feelings for a child who had died long ago onto another child who had nothing to do with me at all.I was afraid of my own shamelessness, and before I fell asleep, I vowed to keep a little distance from Master Xiuzhi in the future, so that I could no longer vent my mother's love that I had nowhere to put on him.

But when I heard that Master Xiuzhi was ill, all my resolutions and vows disappeared.

—I want to see him.

At this moment, all I wanted was to see him.

Unexpectedly, when I sneaked into Master Xiuzhi's room to take a look at him, Miss Asami who was standing outside the door found me.

"Sachiko, have you sent Mr. Oshima home?" Miss Asami asked.

I was caught in front of Young Master Xiuzhi's room, and I was startled, and said anxiously, "Yes."

She didn't seem to want to blame me for being lazy, but instead changed the subject and asked in a low voice, "I heard you played with Suzuki last night?"

Mami-san had a displeased look on her face.

The girl I just met yesterday's full name is Sayuri Suzuki.She is about the same age as I am now, and she is beautiful.Last night we both secretly drank some wine.Sayuri told me a lot of things she wouldn't normally say when she was drunk.

Seeing Mami-san's expression, I felt bad in my heart.I can understand what that look is - it's a look of distaste for another person.I didn't show it on my face, just pretending to be puzzled and asked: "I met you when we wiped the glass together yesterday. Is there something wrong with her?"

I know that I am stupid, but I also know how to use this weak face to make the most innocent and blank expression, which makes people angry.

Sure enough, Mami-san softened her voice a little.It's just that her expression was still a little scary, and she said disgustedly: "Stay away from that indiscreet woman. Otherwise, you won't know when you will be betrayed."

"Ha..." I made a sound that seemed to understand.

I don't think Sayuri is a bad person, but I also think that Mami-san will not harm me.

But Miss Mami obviously didn't want to continue talking about this topic. She waved her hand and said, "Let's go, let's go and see if Master Xiuzhi still needs help."

I responded and walked in with Ms. Asami.When I entered the room, I found that many people had already surrounded the room.They were all maids, an old housekeeper who couldn't tell the difference between mood and anger, and a nurse standing in the corner.

Master Xiuzhi was half lying on the bed, he looked a little blushing but still telling jokes, making a maid next to him who was crying for him laugh.

The maid Meihui, who was probably the youngest among us, burst into tears and laughed.Seeing this, the other maids were also joking, and the room seemed to be filled with cheerful voices for a moment.

If the boy surrounded inside hadn't been ill, it would have been a pretty scene indeed.

I frowned and thought to myself, are you still playing here when you are sick?You should rest.

I was thinking so in my heart, but I couldn't say anything.Master Xiuzhi also didn't even look at me from the beginning to the end.Maybe the conversation last night had offended him.

In the end, the housekeeper came forward to stop this scene. He coughed dryly and said, "Okay, let's all go back to work. Master Xiuzhi needs to rest."

Saying so, the housekeeper thought for a while, glanced at me, and said, "Sachiko, from now on, you and the nurse will take care of Master Xiuzhi."

I was a little surprised, but subconsciously responded: "Yes."

etc!Is it really okay to give me a maid who has just arrived for two days?

Not only me, but even the maids surrounding Master Xiuzhi showed surprised expressions, but they could not question the housekeeper's words, so they could only leave disappointed.

But I, the "lucky guy", seemed to be disgusted by them because of this, and when I saw Meihui, I gave me a flirtatious look.

Only Ms. Mami approached me and said in a low voice, "The butler has considered all aspects. If other maids come to take care of Master Xiuzhi, he probably won't be able to rest."

I remembered what Sayuri said last night that Master Xiuzhi was very popular with women, and that the maid went to his room to seek comfort, so I couldn't help frowning.

Seeing my expression, Ms. Mami might have misunderstood something, and said, "Isn't this good? The work of taking care of Master Shuji is definitely better than those hard work, Sachiko, please behave yourself." So saying, Ms. Asami He patted me on the shoulder, gave me a look, then turned and left here—Miss Mami might have misunderstood something, but I didn't have time to explain, so I could only watch her run away.

So only me and the nurse were left in the room.

The nurse was left behind by Mr. Oshima, and she looks very temperamental and beautiful.It's just that her personality seems to be relatively silent. From the moment I entered the room, I saw her keeping her eyes down and not speaking, as if she was just a beautiful wood carving.

I thought it was because I was afraid of strangers, but when the nurse came and told me what to do next, I found that she probably came to Tsushima's house often and was quite familiar with Master Xiuzhi.

I thought of Mr. Oshima's usual look again, and realized that Master Xiuzhi was probably a weak and sick person who often needed to see a doctor.

After working for a while, when I took a towel and prepared to put it on Master Xiuzhi's head to cool him down, he was staring at me with jewel-like eyes.

Due to the fever, his naked left eye seemed to be soaked in water, and his right eye was still wrapped in a bandage.Along with the bandages on the neck and arms, it was scattered loosely.It is very likely that he is the type that sweats less, and he doesn't seem to sweat at all after drinking hot soup wrapped in a thick quilt.

But when you have a fever, you have to sweat.

I thought so, supported Young Master Xiuzhi, and said, "Lie down."

The sick Master Xiuzhi looked quieter than ever.After the maids left the room, there was no exaggerated smile on his face just now, he just looked at me calmly, as silent as a ball of air, even the sound of breathing seemed to become very weak , it will disappear in the next second.

Master Xiuzhi was half lying on the bed, and the thick quilt covered his frail and thin body like a wall, which made him look even thinner.

He was just like the cat I had seen on the side of the road, a kitten just born to a mother cat, a small one, as if it could be held in one hand.The voice is also extremely small, and no one will hear even a sharp cry for help.

Thinking of this, I put the towel in my hand on his forehead to cool him down.

The nurse glanced at us and said, "I've already said what I need to say, so I'll leave first." She did tell me all the things that need to be paid attention to when she is sick, even if the fever does not subside. I told you how to do it.

"Goodbye, Ali." Master Xiuzhi said.

The nurse named Ali didn't say much, just nodded and left the room, closing the door intimately before leaving.

When the door was closed again, Master Xiuzhi turned his gaze to me again.

"Sachiko," he called.

Although his face looked a little weak, his eyes were as clear as a sensible and mature adult.

"What's wrong? Is there something wrong?" I asked him in a soft voice.

"Sachiko." He called out again.

"Huh?" I said.

Master Xiuzhi coughed and hummed coquettishly, but his voice was still calm: "I just want to call you."

"Really?" I replied in a daze, "That's right."

This sentence may have teased Master Xiuzhi, making him laugh out loud.

I don't know why he suddenly laughed, but it didn't stop me from laughing because he laughed too.

At this moment, the subtle barrier left last night fell silently on the ground like the snow from last night and melted.

I sat beside Master Xiuzhi's bed, and continued to ask him softly what's wrong?Are you thirsty?Want to drink water?Or do you want some hot porridge?

Master Xiuzhi didn't say whether he wanted it or not, but just looked at me.So I understood what he meant—it was unnecessary.

I felt amused in my heart, but I didn't intend to say it directly, I just asked: "Then you can continue to sleep for a while."

Master Xiuzhi was silent for a while without speaking.

I said, "Don't you want to sleep? Just think about it, and don't want to if you don't want to. If you don't want to, don't worry about other things, just say it."

After I finished speaking, I suddenly felt that these words were too much, as if we were not a maid and a young master, but a mother and child.

I was about to say something to make up for what I just said involuntarily, when I heard Master Xiuzhi look at me quietly and say, "Xingzi, I don't want to sleep."

I sighed, ignoring the overly intimate words just now, and just said: "But you are sick."

Master Xiuzhi still had no expression on his face, he just lowered his eyes.But just this movement is enough to make me raise my hands in surrender.

So I said, "So is there anything you want to do? Or do you want me to read you a storybook?"

I began to think about what kind of story I should tell Master Xiuzhi.Perhaps some fairy tales would be good?

But Master Xiuzhi said: "Talk to me." He said to me in a very weak voice like a small animal: "I have slept long enough."

I blinked and thought blankly: What should I say?

If you are a cheerful and optimistic person who loves life, you will be able to discover many subtle but interesting things in life.But I am a very boring woman, and I don't have any interesting things on weekdays, so I hesitated what to say.

Suddenly, Master Xiuzhi pointed at my tied ponytail as if he had seen something very interesting, and said, "Sachiko, the ponytail is tied crookedly."

I froze for a moment, and reached out to touch my ponytail, but I couldn't quite get it out.But since Master Xiuzhi said so, then my ponytail is probably tied crookedly.

In fact, Miss Asami also said yesterday that my ponytail was tied crookedly, and she specifically told me to pay more attention to my appearance in the future.

It was estimated that she didn't pay attention for a while, so she didn't mention me.

But I'm really sloppy, I've been told and forgot, if the housekeeper finds out, says I'm rude and vulgar, doesn't pay attention to etiquette, and kicks me out like this, then I will regret it for the rest of my life .

I smiled awkwardly and said, "I don't know how to do it. Every time I tie my hair, the ponytail will be a little bit to the right."

I let my hair down and tied it a little to the left.

Master Xiuzhi smiled again: "It's still crooked."

I couldn't see the back of my head, and I was too embarrassed to get the mirror, so I had to tie the ponytail in the direction he pointed.

Master Xiuzhi said: "Be careful next time, the housekeeper will be angry when he sees you."

I closed my eyes a little shyly.He also said last night that Master Xiuzhi doesn't seem to have common sense.To be honest, I am actually the one who has no common sense, and Master Xiuzhi is the most normal person with common sense.

Seeing my embarrassed look, Master Xiuzhi laughed.

When he smiled, his eyes narrowed, like a lucky cat on a table in a grocery store.

I was amused by the picture I imagined, and I covered my mouth and laughed out loud.

Master Xiuzhi narrowed his eyes and said, "Are you thinking of something interesting?"

I can't just say that he looks like a lucky cat when he smiles, right?So I just pretended to say, "No. I just remembered that on the way here, there was a cute looking puppy in the arms of the owner."

"Dog." Young Master Xiu Zhi read out the word, and then there was a look of resistance on his face.

"Don't like dogs?" I asked.

He was silent again.When it comes to whether he hates it or not, Master Xiuzhi always seems to like to keep silent, and doesn't show what he hates.It's just that hating this thing is the same as liking itself, and it can't be covered up.

I am actually quite afraid of dogs, but when I see a cute dog, I feel pity and love in my heart.

I said: "Although that dog is very cute, it looks like it dislikes its owner and keeps pushing him. But the owner is still like "my baby", "my baby" yelling."

I described the specific scene, Master Xiuzhi was amused by me again, and then said: "I don't know if I eat its food in front of the dog, will it bark in anger?"

Oh, he's really mean.

But I also think that such a malicious side of Master Xiuzhi is also very cute.

We chatted about something else.While chatting, I suddenly discovered that Master Xiuzhi really likes to call me by my name, and he would call me "Xingzi" almost every few words.

I told him what I had found.

"Xingzi." Master Xiuzhi stared at me and said, "No matter how many times I call you, I think your name is very good."

"Is that so?" I whispered to him like a child wanting to show off, "Actually, I chose this name myself."

"Didn't your parents take it?" Master Xiuzhi looked a little surprised.

Then I suddenly remembered that when I first met Master Xiuzhi the day before yesterday, I told him that the name was given by my parents.I gave a dry cough in embarrassment, and didn't explain anything here. I just said with some pride: "'Sachiko', people with such a name must be happy. It's pretty good, isn't it?"

I'm not particularly superstitious myself.I just thought it would be better if the name had a good meaning.Just like the name "Sachiko" I chose for myself is actually not a rare name, but when I say it, even I think I am a happy person.

"Ha..." Master Xiuzhi made a sound as if he couldn't understand it, and then he fell silent again.

"Sachiko, you are indeed happy." He said so.

He showed that calm, repressed smile again, with a slight smile that could almost be called "sad".

Yes, I am indeed happy.

Although I died and lost my memory, I regained my life when I wore Mei's body.Even though I was in such a mess at the beginning that I was worse than a wild dog, I survived, and then I met Miss Asami and came to Tsushima's house.

I am much happier than someone who dies alone in a corner where no one is around.But according to this, Master Xiuzhi should be the happiest person among us.

So I also calmed down, looked at him with soft and helpless eyes, and said, "In the eyes of the world, Master Xiuzhi is the only one who is happy."

Born into a wealthy family, you don't have to worry about food and clothing, and you can call a doctor immediately when you get sick. The only thing you need to worry about is whether you will be forcibly recruited in the future.

But I think there is probably nothing to worry about.The war is over, presumably there will be a period of peace for a long time to come.

Therefore, Master Xiuzhi should be "happy".

This time he was silent for a long time, Master Xiuzhi seemed to want to say something, but in the end all these words were swallowed by himself.In the end, he could only say in a weak, dying voice: "In my eyes, they are the happy party."

I looked at Master Xiuzhi, the young boy was sitting on the bed, his face was immature but mature beyond his age.But the limp hair and the bandages over his eyes made him look even younger.

When I looked at him, Master Xiuzhi smiled at me again.Calm and free of other emotions.

"...you should go to sleep." I sighed and helped him to lie back down again.

"But I still want to chat with you for a while." The boy lying on the bed said coquettishly, but his eyes did not reflect anything as always, just like those eyes were dark and suppressed that the world cannot understand Something that can't be tolerated, so heavy that it can almost crush anyone.

"Tomorrow, how about tomorrow? Wait until your fever subsides." I stretched out my hand to touch his forehead.When I did this, he subconsciously tried to dodge, but froze in place, like a funny rabbit for a moment.But I didn't make fun of him, I just thought that Master Xiuzhi's head was still hot.

Although the doctor said that the fever was not serious and the temperature would drop after taking the medicine and sleeping for a while, I was still a little worried.If it doesn't subside and the fever continues, it will be terrible if it turns into pneumonia.

Thinking so, I changed the towel for him.

Master Xiuzhi said vaguely, "That's fine."

Being ill still consumed too much of his physical strength and energy. Although he was still saying that he was not sleepy just now, Master Xiuzhi's breathing has gradually become calmer.He was probably already very tired, but he just didn't want to just fall asleep like this.

"I wish you a sweet dream." I said softly.

"Will there be a dog in the dream?" Master Xiuzhi asked.

"Maybe. I will pray that there is no dog in your dream. If there is no other way, if there must be a dog, then I will pray that you will not be bitten by the dog after eating its food in front of the dog." I said with a smile .

Master Xiuzhi also laughed a few times, he didn't continue to say anything, just closed his eyes and fell asleep peacefully.

Looking at his sleeping face, my heart became unbelievably soft.If you want to describe it, it is like cotton and honey cake.

Master Xiuzhi has already gone to sleep, and I was also afraid that I would be gossiped if I stayed here for too long, so I prepared to leave and asked others to come and have a look.

Before leaving, looking at the loose bandages still wrapped around his body, I thought, maybe I should help Master Xiu Zhi take off these bandages.

If you hang around like this all the time, your body will probably feel uncomfortable.What's more, he has a fever now, which will only make him more uncomfortable.

Thinking of this, I stretched out my hand and untied the soft and white bandage.

...

...

...

At that moment, I felt my scalp go numb, and there was a disgusting rusty smell in my mouth.It was black in front of my eyes, and I suddenly felt that the hell in the world was nothing more than this.If it wasn't for the teeth biting the tip of my tongue, the pain kept me calm, I'm afraid I would have fallen like this.

Under the untied bandage, what was revealed was not the soft skin of a child as I imagined, but countless hideous and interlaced scars.

——This world is an endless hell, and none of us can achieve happiness.

I've never been more aware of this than I am now.

The author has something to say: If you want to get happiness, then grab his hand and run away together.

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I want to save more and post again, the next update should be next week_(:з」∠)_

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And due to various reasons, some original settings, such as most of the scars on Master Xiuzhi's body are made by himself, have to be deleted ORZ

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Thanks for the time:

Thanks to the little angel who threw the mine: give 1 piece;

Thanks to the little angels of the irrigation nutrient solution: 10 bottles of leibite and Asan; 1 bottle of saiiiiii and Fafa;

Thank you very much for the support of little angels (づ￣3￣)づ