Be Dazai's mother

The snow outside is much smaller than last night, but I can still see those snowflakes falling continuously, turning the whole world into crystal colors.Compared to Sayuri, I didn't drink much, but I was still a little drunk, and my breath felt like I was stepping on a cloud.

Stepping on the snow, the young boy tapped on the window like a nightingale singing in a fairy tale, as if he wanted to drag the whole world into a beautiful dream, and showed me a childish smile.

"Do you want to see the cherry blossoms together?" I could vaguely recognize this sentence from his mouth.

"Xiu, Master Xiuzhi!" Seeing him unexpectedly, my little bit of drunkenness disappeared, and I couldn't help exclaiming.

Oh my god, I thought he went back to sleep just after returning, but I didn't expect Master Xiuzhi to turn back again.I don't know how long I slept just now, but I just saw that it was getting bright outside, so I probably slept for a few hours.

When did Master Xiuzhi come to the window?Did he not sleep at all?Isn't he tired?

Thinking of this, I quickly put on a thick coat and ran out.

As soon as I stepped out of the door, the wind mixed with snowflakes rushed towards me, and the chill made me shiver all over.I am also a person who is very afraid of the cold. When I come from a warm place to the cold outside unexpectedly, my teeth are chattering.But compared to these, the possibility that Master Xiuzhi has been outside for a long time scares me more.

When I came in front of him, I saw Master Xiuzhi wearing a thin coat, his soft and fluffy hair was almost dyed white by the snow, his nose and face were red from the cold, but Master Xiuzhi remained With an unaware appearance, the exposed iris-colored eyes were shining, and she said to me who ran over like a carefree child: "Sachiko, let's go see the cherry blossoms together?"

He said so happily, for some reason, I had an indescribable desire to cry.

"Why are you here?!" I subconsciously shouted, covering him with a thick coat that was soaked in my own temperature, and said anxiously, "What if I catch a cold?"

After taking off my coat to Master Xiu Zhi, I was left with only a thin inner coat, which made me tremble even more when the wind blew past.

Master Xiuzhi seemed unhappy that I ignored his words, although he was still smiling, the temperature on his face seemed to have dropped several degrees.

Maybe Master Xiuzhi's smile didn't change much in the eyes of others, but I am more sensitive and think more, and I can subconsciously observe other people's expressions.In my eyes, the change of Master Xiuzhi's smile seemed to be magnified countless times, even if it was only a little bit, it would make me feel seriously uneasy.

But he didn't say anything, he just said to me with an expression that was not as calm as that of an ordinary child: "It's so cold outside, can you talk in the room?"

I naturally agreed with my hands up, and led him into the warm room.

As soon as he walked in, Master Xiuzhi took off the coat I just handed him, and put the coat on me again.

After doing this, he sat obediently across from me.

I remembered Master Xiuzhi's expression just now, and said tentatively: "Master Xiuzhi, you mean you want to see the cherry blossoms?"

Master Xiuzhi nodded, looking expectant.Maybe children are like this, and they want to see it as soon as they think about it.I can't say anything about his whim.After all, I was the first to talk about Sakura, and this childlike character is indeed extremely lovable.

Even so, now I can't really take him to see the cherry blossoms.I sighed with some headaches, and said helplessly: "The cherry blossoms in this period are not in bloom at all, even if I want to see them, I can't see them."

"Can't you open it?" Master Xiuzhi asked blankly.

"In winter, the cherry blossoms won't bloom. At least until March." I found that Master Xiuzhi seems to have a hard time with some common-sense things.It's like he's going to feel cold and it's hard to realize that it means winter is coming.

I reminded him vaguely: "This is a matter of course."

"Hmph..." He smiled obediently, but what he said revealed a kind of rebellion that seemed to run counter to the world, and even the iris-colored eyes showed a kind of indifference."I hate taking things for granted," he said.

From the first time I saw Master Xiuzhi, he exudes an aura that is out of tune with the world.He seems to be isolated from this world, or maybe he does not belong to this world, and it is normal for these trivial and natural things to cause him to fall into a kind of pain, and this "Normal" itself is repulsive.

This vicious circle of pain will drag people into a deeper hell.

I was silent for a while, thinking that if I continued to ask questions, I might annoy him.Master Xiuzhi is probably the type who doesn't like excessive close contact, just like a cat who likes to stay away from each other. To him, the relationship with a certain distance may be the most reassuring.

I was not so arrogant that I felt that I had to ignore all the resistance and wishes of the other party and forcefully break through his protective shell.Everyone has their own personality and preferences, ignoring their own wishes, demanding that introverts must become extroverted, and extroverts must become introverted, is itself a kind of self-satisfied arrogance.

It would be even more unreasonable to say that this is a matter of course and a requirement of society.Because society itself is made up of individuals.Why do other individuals take things for granted?

As I thought so, I felt powerless and ridiculed for my naive thoughts.He could only smile bitterly and say to Master Xiuzhi: "Yeah, I also hate such things that are taken for granted."

"It would be great if there were cherry blossoms that bloom in winter." I looked at the bare branches outside the window and murmured in a low voice.

Master Xiuzhi supported his face and said, "If there are really cherry blossoms in full bloom in winter, they must be very beautiful."

"In that case—" the young boy closed his eyes, closed his eyes with an expression as if he was singing, and said in a soft voice: "Bury my corpse under that tree."

"Under the cherry blossoms in winter, surrounded by snowflakes and fallen petals turning into dust, isn't it nice," he said.

I was amazed that a kid his age would discuss his own death so frankly.In Mei's memory, when she was young, she couldn't distinguish the boundary between life and death at all, and even asked her mother not to die as a matter of course, and then innocently let go of her heart after the other party smiled and agreed.

But I also thought that for a precocious child like Master Xiuzhi, it seemed natural to be able to understand life and death.

I paused and said, "But..."

Master Xiuzhi looked at me, he still had that smile on his face, his iris-colored eyes seemed to suppress the unbearable deep sea, and I just looked at him quietly, and said in a low voice: "But, in the cherry blossoms Eating under a tree makes the food so delicious. It would be a real pity if you couldn't eat it then."

Master Xiuzhi looked extremely shocked and said: "Is that so?!"

"Even mushrooms are delicious!" I crossed my arms and nodded seriously.

Mushrooms are what I hate to eat the most. Even if I am amnesiac, seeing them again will cause physical nausea.I don't know if this is because of Mei's body or my own problems, because Mei also hates eating mushrooms.But even so, under the cherry blossom trees in Fuyuki City, which Mei still misses after leaving her hometown, even if she eats mushrooms, she will find it very delicious.

"Is it that powerful?" Master Xiuzhi's eyes seemed to light up.

Although I tried not to laugh out loud, I still had a smile on my face and said in a soft voice: "Yes, maybe you can try it when the cherry blossoms are in bloom."

Master Xiuzhi said, "That's fine."

He added: "Death Plan Under the Cherry Blossom Tree Over~ If Sachiko, who is eating happily under the cherry tree, recalls my dead body, then the delicious food will become unpalatable, I am really like that Heinous."

He can really talk.

At the same time, I also realized.Master Xiuzhi doesn't like me as others say.As far as he was concerned, I was essentially no different from other women.

But in his eyes, I was special for some reason.This particularity made him deliberately show his own differences in front of me many times, and use this to observe my reaction, just like a monster carefully observing human beings.

For some reason, I found his clumsy appearance to be too endearing.Just like a babbling, toddler, no matter who it is, seeing such a scene, they will only feel infinite love in their hearts, right?

But I know very well that the love and affection in my heart and the strong emotion for Master Xiuzhi are all because of "Mei".

Mei, the original owner of the body I traveled through.An innocent, rebellious and innocent girl.If you ask people who knew Mei in Fuyuki City back then, they will definitely answer that she is an ignorant bad girl.

She was indeed too naive and ignorant, and she resolutely decided to give birth to this child after she became pregnant in a muddleheaded way. Mei vowed to make the child in her belly the happiest person.

She didn't think about how a weak woman with no relatives and no reason would take care of her child alone in such a post-war society. She just stroked her belly and looked at the cherry blossoms outside the window, thinking: she must take her own child with her in the future Go to see the cherry blossoms.

Eating under the sakura tree, even the disgusting mushrooms became delicious, not because the sakura tree had any special magical power, but just because Mei was very happy at that time.

"Happiness" is the most wonderful magic.

But Mei died. She didn't die under the cherry blossom tree in her dream, but in a cold and dark alley, full of expectations for the future, and died there.

And so far, even if Mei dies, let me take over the obsession that this body that should have rotted can't be forgotten-that is, her child did not survive.

Although Mei died, her obsession has always entangled me, so that when I see Master Xiuzhi, there will always be tender emotions in my heart.

When I realized this, Master Xiuzhi suddenly became as scary as a ghost in my heart!

This is wrong, Master Xiuzhi is innocent, how can I let my distorted emotions continue?Love and fear for a while, what a selfish, indifferent and arrogant person I am.If there is hell in this world, then I will definitely be thrown into the eighteenth level of hell.

I am very aware of this.But how can people's emotions be easy to control?What's more, my self-control is not strong.

Maybe, I should start to stay away from Master Xiuzhi next.But it can't be too obvious, and it can't hurt the child's heart.

Confused, I was subconsciously thinking about my future plans, and suddenly I saw a cat jumping down from a tree outside the window, shaking the snow on my body and looking at me, then disappeared with a "swoosh".

I myself like cats very much. At this time, after seeing the cute expression of cats, I even forgot what I was thinking just now.When I came back to my senses, I remembered Master Xiuzhi next to me.Putting aside my inexplicable sorrow just now, I said to him: "It's almost dawn, why don't you go back?" After all, did Master Xiuzhi rest last night?

"Maybe I shouldn't bother you?" Master Xiuzhi said with his eyes downcast.

"No, I mean, you need a break?" I said helplessly, "You have to go to class in a few hours, don't you?"

"You're right." Master Xiuzhi said so, and gave me a look with some meaning.

"Then, see you later, Sachiko," he said, and quickly ran away again.

Originally wanting him to go back wearing my coat in case he catches a cold, I could only stretch out my hand and watch him go.

The drowsiness came back again, I sighed, and continued to go back to sleep with the infinite sorrow in my heart.

I happened to see the housekeeper when I woke up and dressed as a maid and went to work.I wanted to say hello to him, but he just passed me with a sullen face and a dignified expression, without paying me any attention at all.

I looked at his hurried back with some doubts, turned my head and saw Miss Mami.

"Miss Mami—" Before I finished greeting her, she interrupted me.

"Master Xiuzhi has a high fever." She frowned and said, "Xingzi, go and call the doctor."

I was taken aback for a moment, and realized that what happened last night made Master Xiuzhi sick after all. I couldn't help but blame myself, and asked aloud, "Doctor? Where are you going to call?"

"Yes." Miss Mami rubbed her head and said, "I have a good memory. You just came here, so it's not surprising that you don't know. The Tsushima family has a specialized doctor, but he doesn't live in the Tsushima family. He lives on the street next door, if you go over there and ask if Mr. Oshima is there, someone will tell you where he lives."

Looks like he's a pretty well-known doctor.I think so.

Following the direction pointed by Ms. Mami, I ran out of Tsushima’s house in a hurry, and randomly pulled a passerby on the street over there to ask where Mr. Oshima lived. After getting the answer from the other party, I followed the direction he pointed. He ran, and finally found Mr. Oshima's home in a house that looked a little old.

"Is Mr. Oshima there?" I knocked on the door and asked.

Unfortunately, my first inquiry was not responded to.Thinking of Master Xiuzhi who was still suffering from a high fever at Tsushima's house, I gritted my teeth, knocked on the door vigorously regardless of my thin skin, and shouted: "Mr. Oshima! Are you inside?!"

After a tingling sound, some old doors finally opened, but the person who opened the door was not the kind-hearted middle-aged man I imagined, but the completely opposite type of this image.

Appearing there is a man with a slightly gorgeous dress and clothing. Although he is extremely handsome and coquettish from the face, he seems to be extremely popular with women, but the aura on his body is not something that a human can have.This made me instinctively wary of him.

Although I don't think he is probably Mr. Oshima, but he is the only one who appears here, so I can only ask cautiously: "Mr. Oshima?"

The strange man laughed, or didn't laugh at all?It's just that something on his lips made him look like he was smiling all the time, and he said in a strange voice, "I'm not Mr. Oshima."

"Then who are you?" I asked subconsciously.

The man looked at me and spoke with a strange, ghostly pause.

"I'm just an ordinary drug seller."

The author has something to say: At this time, Sachiko didn't know that there was something called winter cherry blossoms in the world, but she still pulled out Zai's first death flag23333 unconsciously

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Maybe it's because I'm a person who is extremely suspicious of feelings (whether it's love, friendship or family), so I find it difficult to really have feelings for another individual.Sachiko's affection for Zai at this time is partly due to her own personality, which is easy to empathize with the disadvantaged, and more of it is "Mei's sequelae".

But she will definitely have real affection for Jae, and this is the story I want to write.

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An ordinary passing man selling medicine appeared (x)

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Thanks for the time:

Thanks to the little angel who threw the landmines: of course, you have to add cream to drink milk tea;

Thanks to the little angels of the irrigation nutrient solution: 7 bottles of still water flow deep; 5 bottles of Yan Yanyan;

Thank you very much for the support of little angels (づ￣3￣)づ