Be Dazai's mother

"Mom." Master Xiuzhi raised his head and looked at me and shouted.

Those are the lightest yet heaviest words in the world, and they can easily overwhelm my inner defenses.

"..." I blinked.

pat.

Some moist liquid overflowed from the eye sockets.

Before my blank brain can react, tears have already fallen from my eyes.Obviously, I thought that I could not protect Young Master Xiuzhi with only tears and affection, and I had to be strong, but when he called me "Mom", I still cried in vain.

"Xingzi, you really love to cry." Young Master Xiuzhi said helplessly, "Don't cry."

"Because..." I choked up and said, "I'm so happy that you called me 'Mom'."

At that moment, my brain became dizzy, and before I could react, warm tears overflowed.This made me want to ask: Is it really good to make me so happy?

Is it really okay to let such a useless me be the mother of this child?

The moment I had this thought in my heart, I shook my head and thought: Since I have decided to become Master Xiuzhi's mother, no matter what, I must not have such a dejected thought.

I stretched out my hand to wipe the tears off my face, and responded softly.

"Well, here I am." I responded.

Mom is here.

I pulled him up, reached out and patted the dust on Young Master Xiuzhi's clothes, and said to him: "Let's go, the time is almost up, I have to go and meet with Mr. Yaolang."

Master Xiuzhi nodded, he carefully put away the paintbrush I gave him, and put away the old paintbrush hidden in the closet.

I was thinking about whether to pack up some money or medicine and go out, but after thinking about it carefully, this is the illusion of the Tsushima family that has maintained its previous appearance. I am afraid that if I want to take anything out in the illusion, I will not be able to get it out.

Master Xiuzhi must have thought of this, but he still carefully put away the paintbrush I gave him as if he were the most precious treasure. To be honest, I was still a little embarrassed.

"Have you got everything you need?" I asked.

Master Xiuzhi nodded.

I stretched out my hand to him, and after he held my hand, I said to Master Xiuzhi, "Let's go."

I took Master Xiuzhi's hand and ran out together with him.

Almost as soon as the door was opened, the ghosts who were looking for us rushed over in an instant. They looked at us with fanatical and sick eyes, telling us their obsession with wanting to live.

The familiar Mami-san was also inside, she stared at me with crazy eyes, stretched out her hand and shouted to me: "Sachiko, didn't you always want to repay my kindness? Right now, give us Master Shuzhi. "

"Sorry, Miss Mami." I stood a little forward, blocking the sight of the wraiths, and said, "Only this child will never be given up to you."

As soon as my words fell, the ghosts who had barely maintained their superficial calm immediately went crazy, and all kinds of piercing wailing and cursing sounded through my brain, causing my headache to split.

"Why why why why why—" the ghosts made paranoid and crazy voices in unison, as if they were crying.

The people who were killed and turned into wraiths were crying, but I could only look at them and say sorry from the bottom of my heart.

I think, although I can't do things like murder and arson, I can't take the initiative to do things that hurt others.But at the same time I can't do anything to save everyone.

That's why I'm just an ordinary person and not someone else, I'm just a lucky child, I just want to be the lucky child of Master Xiuzhi's mother.

A figure stepped out from among the resentful undead—it was the housekeeper.

The elderly man looked at me with eyes full of hatred and envy.

"I have to live. If I die, then there will be no one waiting for Takuya!" The butler shouted hysterically.

Tuo was his son who died in battle, and he couldn't even return his bones.

"...I'm sorry," I said.

I quietly grabbed Master Xiuzhi's hand, trying to hint to him to wait for me to hold these ghosts, but he ran away with all his strength.

But Master Xiuzhi held my hand backhanded with some stubbornness, and didn't look into my eyes as if he was in trouble.

Well, just now I told him that I would never let go of your hand, so it seems not good to ask him to run away first.

I thought helplessly, closed my eyes, took a deep breath, put my hands next to my mouth and shouted: "Mr. Yaolang——!"

Before the ghosts could react, a familiar voice came over.

"After all, I was asked by Miss Sachiko, so I had no choice but to help."

A figure appeared in front of me.The person who came was carrying a medicine box, wearing a kimono, and had some gorgeous makeup on his face. His eyes were obviously inhumanly indifferent, but the lip gloss around his mouth made him look like he was smiling.

He turned his head to look at me and Master Xiuzhi whom I was leading, and said, "It seems that you have caught up, Miss Xingzi."

I squeezed Master Xiuzhi's hand and said, "Yes, I found it."

"Then run quickly, leave here, stay far away. Go to a place where no one knows you, and let the two of you live together." Said Sayuri who appeared here at some unknown time.

Saying so, she glanced at Master Xiuzhi whom I was leading, and said softly: "Maybe you don't want to hear it, but I still want to say: I'm sorry, Master Xiuzhi."

Although the resentful spirits in the daytime have no memory of death, Sayuri and the others actually know that Master Xiuzhi was haunted by ghosts in the middle of the night.Because of this, he looks scarred every day.

They tried to find help from Master Tsushima, Onmyoji, Miko, etc., but they immediately chose to give up after finding out that these people didn't even notice what was wrong with Master Xiuzhi. Master Xiuzhi looked covered in bandages.

And after recovering his memory in the middle of the night, he found that except for a dozen of their resentful spirits and the only living Master Xiuzhi, everything else was actually a figure created to maintain "normality", and his will has been completely distorted by death. Even the last bit of goodness in the hearts of the spirits was completely swallowed up, leaving only the desire to live and the killing intent towards Master Xiuzhi.

No matter what reason is used to cover it up, the fact of hurting Master Xiuzhi will not change, even if this cruel world can only survive by hurting others.

Thinking of this, Sayuri, who has become much more conscious, couldn't help but look at me.

I stared blankly at her.

What I didn't know was that she actually admired me.It is precisely because she knows that I am a completely ordinary person from any angle that she admires me so much.

It seems that just looking for a girl on the street can find a template similar to mine.I will not take the initiative to hurt others, and when I meet others asking for help, I will help to the extent I can.But if it involves yourself, then more people will choose to be wise and protect themselves.Not indifferent but not really kind.He doesn't have a family background like the Tsushima family, nor does he have strong abilities, it's better to say that he doesn't even hold a kitchen knife very well.

Although there is a gentle nature that makes people feel comfortable, it is also timid, indecisive and weak.It can't be fished out even if it is thrown into the crowd.

But it was me who stretched out my hand resolutely when no one reached out to the child.Even if I fell bloody, I still want to hold on to that child who keeps falling into the abyss.

With this feeling, Sayuri couldn't help feeling envious while admiring her.She also wants to have the mood of giving it all for something that is most important.

It's a pity that when her parents and younger brother died, and she was left alone struggling in the world, Sayuri never felt that strong emotion again.Although she said that she must marry a rich man and live a good life, she knew that she was just floating and sinking in this chaotic world.Just this has exhausted all her strength, and finally died in this kind of place and became a wraith.

These thoughts appeared in Sayuri's mind only for a moment, she lowered her eyes, looked at Master Xiuzhi and said, "In any case, please live a good life with Sachiko."

Master Xiuzhi was stunned for a moment, he looked at Sayuri quietly, and replied: "Yes, I see."

The medicine seller waved his hand, and a circle of talisman paper with weird patterns formed a cylinder around me and Young Master Xiuzhi to protect us.

"Run as hard as you can, I will draw out the demon sword to kill monsters and destroy this illusion." The medicine seller said: "This talisman can protect you, but you must not let go, if you let go , Shuji Tsushima, who has a greater connection with this place, will be pulled out."

Hearing this, I held Master Xiuzhi's hand and couldn't help exerting some strength, I said: "I know, I will never let go."

The drug seller nodded and said, "Then——run!"

In order not to affect Master Xiuzhi, who has been in this illusion for a year and has a greater connection with it, the drug seller must wait for Master Xiuzhi and I to escape from the illusion before killing monsters.For this reason, he had to stop most of the ghosts for us, so that we could run out, so that he could pull out the demon sword.

Before leaving, I took a look at Sayuri.Noticing my gaze, this beautiful girl smiled and said to me: "It goes without saying that I would like to thank you, and I will pay for helping you. You said it yourself, and you will never forget me. If I find out that you forget If you kill me, then even if I fall into hell, I will climb back to avenge you."

"Well." I smiled at her and said, "Even if everyone forgets you, I will never forget you."

"...Goodbye." Saying so, I grabbed Master Xiuzhi's hand and turned and ran outside.

"Goodbye." Said Baihe murmured as she watched our leaving back.

We ran through Master Xiuzhi's room, through the long corridor, through the living room, through these things that I was already familiar with.

Then we saw the gate of Tsushima's house.The pharmacist has done tricks here in advance, as long as we run out from there, we can get out of the illusion.

This place is exactly the place I stepped into when I first came to Tsushima's house. This feeling of being in another world made me feel a sense of melancholy.

But soon I didn't feel like this anymore. After all, there were a lot of ghosts, and the medicine seller and Sayuri couldn't stop them all, and one of them was missing like us.

His goal is also very clear, which is Master Xiuzhi who is in my hands.

I was startled, the ghost ignored its own spirit body that was burning because it hit the talisman paper, and just went crazy and hit the cylinder made of talisman paper desperately, trying to use the vibration generated by the impact to make Master Xiuzhi and I hold on tightly. hands apart.

I grabbed Master Xiuzhi tightly and let out an angry roar: "Go away!"

"Xingzi..." Master Xiuzhi shouted in a soft voice, but before he could say anything, I said with an angry face: "If you stay, I will stay with you. I have already made an appointment. I I will never let go of your hand."

Even if I am forced to stay and protect Young Master Xiuzhi and continue to entangle with the ghosts, I will never be able to leave this house, or I will be cut off by the drug seller together with other ghosts, I will never let go of this hand again .

Already made an appointment.

Master Xiuzhi pursed his lips, sighed deeply as if he was very helpless, and said as if complaining and coquettishly: "That's why I said Xingzi, you are an idiot."

Just when I was about to half curl up and protect Master Xiuzhi under me, and then the two of us climbed out together so that even if the ghost hit the talisman wall again, it would never hurt Master Xiuzhi, things turned around.

There was a loud "touch", and a figure suddenly appeared from nowhere and slammed into the ghost, grabbed him viciously, and pulled him away from us.

"Mei!" Looking at the figure that is [-]% similar to me now, I couldn't help shouting.

Mei was biting and biting the ghost with a grim face, a terrifying yet deterrent roar came out of her throat.

Mei shouted in a hoarse and broken voice: "Let's go! Get out of here."

"Didn't you say you wanted to be that child's mother? Then go! Run! Do everything you can to protect your child!" Mei roared.

"My child is dead, but you can't let your own child have an accident!" At this time, as a mother, I understood the weight of Mei's words.

She saw a reflection of herself in me, so she didn't want me to lose my child too.This is the "empathy" produced by us who are also mothers.

"I only have one last wish... Please go to Fuyuki City. The place where I grew up, and then—help me and my parents say 'I'm sorry, I can't come back'." Mei said so.

What is the expression of Mei who is already a ghost at the moment?I couldn't get a good look at her face because she was entangled with another ghost trying to kill each other.

But I understand that she is probably still very sad.Sad that I couldn't go back to my hometown in person, the place that raised her and made her grow from a little girl to an adult.

"I understand." After I finished speaking solemnly, I grabbed Master Xiuzhi's hand and ran towards the exit of Tsushima's house with all my strength.At the same time, the voice of the drug seller seemed to be heard in the distance.

"Use this "truth" and "reason" to open the demon sword."

"Kacha Kacha." The Exorcism Sword made a piercing sound.

There was a loud bang, and the resentful voices of the ghosts mixed with the sound of things breaking and collapsing in the house, and the sound of swords waving, it was as desolate and tragic as the finale of death.

I ran with Master Xiuzhi, running towards the sky outside.

Sayuri, Miss Asami, butler...

In my mind, the scene of them smiling at me during the day appeared in my mind.

And Mei, the girl who died of dystocia in winter, the "mother" who lost her child.

I closed my eyes tightly, and when I opened them again, there was no confusion in my eyes anymore.

"I want to change my name after I go out." Said the young master Xiuzhi who was running out of breath.

"Change what?" I asked.

"Osamu Dazai, what do you think of this name?" Master Shuji looked at my face, seeking my opinion.

"Not bad, it's a nice name." I said while running, I couldn't help panting a few breaths because of lack of physical strength: "In that case, I'll change my name too, how about Sachiko Dazai?"

Master Xiuzhi turned his head back, showed a faint smile, and said, "Well, it's a nice name."

"Sounds like family names," I said.

Master Xiuzhi looked very happy.While he doesn't show it directly, the upturned corners of his eyes tell him he's happy.

"Where are we going next?" He said in a light and fluttering tone, and his voice was like a bird's wings, which made my heart feel soft.

"Let's go to Fuyuki City first." I said, "That's Mei's hometown, I have to go back there."

Mei's body must be returned to her hometown.I also want to say sorry to Mei's parents.

Hiding the heavy feelings in my heart, I turned my head and showed Master Xiuzhi a smile that looked like I was about to cry.

"And didn't we make an appointment? We're going to see the cherry blossoms in Fuyuki City together."

Master Xiuzhi looked at me and gave me a shy smile.

"Well, we've made an appointment."

When winter is over and spring comes, let's go to see the cherry blossoms together.

We ran with all our strength until we escaped from this illusion of nothingness, this place where countless dead people are buried, and this endless winter day.

The moment the foot stepped out of the door, the illusion disappeared, and the surrounding scene also changed, and a breeze mixed with the fragrance of young leaves blew slowly.

The buds that were blooming on the trees not far away were reflected in my eyes, which made my eyes widen and I almost shed tears.

spring is coming.