Be Dazai's mother

At that moment, I had goose bumps all over my body.Because I realized that I have been with ghosts all this time.

I watched the familiar faces in the daytime in front of me turn pale and terrifying at this time, everyone, or every ghost looked at me with a pair of eyes that did not rest in peace,

At the same time, I noticed that they were only watching me but did not go forward to grab me, so I realized that their target was always only one——that is, Master Xiuzhi, the only living person in this room.

I was reborn on the body of the dead Mei, so I was naturally regarded as a dead thing.

Even if I was also classified as a dead person, there are still people I am familiar with who are eyeing me.Miss Mami, who took good care of me during the day, dragged her mutilated body and looked at me at this time. She stretched out a pair of slightly pale and swollen hands, waving to me non-stop.

"Come here, come here, Sachiko."

"Miss Asami..." I lowered my voice and called out.

The driver, who spoke a little bluntly but was very hearty, was smiling in the distance.It's just that his smile was stained with an ominous color of blood, and the teeth that were exposed when he smiled were also pitch black.

There was a "click" sound from behind, and the butler came out of the library, and the shadowless ghost walked slowly, with harsh laughter from his mouth.

"Sachiko, come to our place quickly. If that's the case, I'll treat it as nothing that you came to the library to read books in the middle of the night without authorization." The butler's voice became sharper, and it almost shattered my ears at the back.

There was an unbearable itching in the ear canal, probably because of bleeding.

I felt a dryness in my throat, and said with a trembling voice while dizzy: "What's going on here?"

Someone approached me from behind, and a pleasant scent of white lilies surrounded me with her.

Saiduri, who is as strong as a lily in this cruel world, appeared behind me at some point. She walked up to me and reached out to touch my cheek.

"Xingzi, Master Xiuzhi is really good at hiding. He seems to be very interested in you, why don't you lure him out, okay?" She said in a gentle and bewitching voice.

"Not good, why do such a thing?" I refused without hesitation.

"Because only in this way can we survive." Xiaobai said reasonably.

"What--" I frowned and just wanted to refute her, but Sayuri suddenly grabbed my hand. Before I could shake it off, the sudden flood of memories instantly swallowed my consciousness.

···

"Be careful on the road, masters and young masters and ladies."

"Oh, it's a pity that Master Xiuzhi can't go on a trip with the master and the others because of illness."

"That child has been weak and sickly since he was a child."

"Stop chatting and go to work! Work and work!"

"Huh? Why is it so noisy outside?"

"It's a thief! Ugh! Don't kill me! I still want to live! Don't—"

Voices, voices everywhere, noisy voices mixed together.The sounds came together in my head and made my head hurt like it was going to explode.

But at the same time, I also began to understand what happened in this house.

About a year ago, Master Tsushima took a few children out to play, and also took most of the security guards out of the house.Only a group of servants and Master Xiuzhi, who had been weak since childhood and had a fever that day, were left at home.

On that day, thieves who took advantage of the loss of more than half of the Tsushima family visited here.They killed all the servants, took all the property and fled.

Only Master Xiuzhi, who slept in the closet because of a high fever, escaped the catastrophe.But although he escaped the aggression of the thieves, he still failed to escape other things.

The desire for life and resentment for death of the servants who were killed attracted a monster named "Pillow Return", and the two combined to form a monster, which shrouded the entire Tsushima house, including Master Shuji, in an illusion among.

During the day, everyone continued their daily life according to their previous appearance and memories, but in the middle of the night, they would restore their dead memories while sleeping, and return to the appearance of evil spirits, day after day in this house wandering.

The master and others I saw were actually just phantoms created to maintain "daily life".The ones who were really in Tsushima's house were the souls of the servants who were killed at that time.

And the reason why I stepped into this illusion unknowingly was because I was reborn on the body of the dead Mei, so I was included as a dead soul.

But illusions are just illusions after all, and they may be broken at any time, so they need a core that can restrain this illusion, an existence that can be equivalent to "returning to the pillow".

In the legend, the pillow is often regarded as a zashiki boy.The evil spirits therefore decided to use Zashiki Warji as one of the cores so that this illusion would never disappear.

Just because this place is an illusion rather than reality, such a fantasy behavior is also feasible.

Of course, it is said that it is a Zashiki warji, in fact, as long as it is a young child-the child they have chosen is Master Shuji.

Master Xiuzhi, who has been with ghosts day and night for a year, has already stepped on both sides of yin and yang. After killing him, he is more than enough to be the ghost of a zashiki boy.

"So you understand, right? Why did we have to kill Master Xiuzhi?" Sayuri smiled sweetly.Even after death, the desire to live is infinitely distorted and turned into a ghost, she is still so beautiful that people can't take their eyes off it, as if she has an infinitely beautiful future.

But she is dead.

"I will never let this illusion shatter, once this illusion shatters, we who live in the gap of this illusion will die completely." Sayuri said: "You can understand me, Sachiko."

"I can see that you are also obsessed with being alive. What's more, I can feel the death breath on your body. You should be the one who happened to die near here and entered this illusion by mistake. How about it? Find out Master Xiuzhi, let this illusion continue forever, and then we will be able to live forever."

Then watched Master Xiuzhi being killed by the vengeful spirits and being trapped as a "Zashiki boy" in this house of the dead, living a life that he could not live or die?

"..." Seeing Sayuri's crazy expression, I said softly.

"I'm sorry." As I said that, I threw out the medicine that Mr. Medicine Seller handed me before.

Sayuri didn't seem to expect that I would do this, and screamed in panic, but before she had time to react, a voice broke in abruptly.

"So that's how it is. I already know the 'truth' and the 'reason'."

The drug seller who was wearing a kimono and with too much makeup on his face appeared there. Before Sayuri had time to react, he quickly threw a bunch of talisman papers over.

Heavy talismans surrounded Sayuri, making her unable to move, and screamed with resentment.

The drug seller took this opportunity to quickly grab me and ran to a corner, and the ghosts rushed towards us when they saw this.

Facing the pursuit of the ghosts, the drug seller seemed to be extremely comfortable. He calmly shook off the ghosts, grabbed me and hid in a room just like last time, and slammed the door shut. , The talisman paper with weird patterns on it sealed the door.

I glanced blankly at the drug seller, thinking that he would directly kill the monsters. After all, he should have obtained the "shape", "truth" and "reason" he wanted. I didn't expect him to choose to take the I hide.

Yes, I called the drug seller in advance.After deciding to explore the secrets of the Tsushima family, I ran to seek the help of the drug seller.

But I really didn't expect that the person I was with day and night turned out to be a ghost, and the person who didn't die in the house, such as the master, was just a phantom.

Miss Mami, Sayuri, housekeeper, driver, Mie and...

I couldn't help feeling a sense of loss and sadness.After all, they are the people I get along with day and night during this time. Even if I am heartless, I know that they have been killed, and after death, they become dead souls because of their obsession, and their emotions are infinitely distorted-I still feel melancholy because of this. .

The drug seller didn't notice my emotions, maybe he noticed but didn't point it out, he just said: "Although your body is supposed to be dead, your soul is undoubtedly still alive."

The drug seller pondered for a while, and asked, "Borrowing a dead body to revive the soul?"

I had a headache and said: "I don't know either. I only know that I seemed to die, and then passed through Mei, who was the original owner of this body. I can't remember the memory of my life."

As I said this, I asked hesitantly, "Are you going to make me disappear?"

Although I don't think the drug seller is a priest who kills monsters in the traditional sense, but I think that it is only natural for people who occupy other people's bodies to be reborn even if they are driven back.

The drug seller shook his head and said: "You are not a monster in nature, and you have little involvement with this room, so I have no reason to kill you. My goal is only a monster from the beginning to the end."

The drug seller said: "I just want to know the "shape", "truth" and "reason" of the monster, and I won't worry too much about other things."

I breathed a sigh of relief, but before I was completely relieved, the drug seller changed the subject and continued: "But your Master Xiuzhi is a part of this monster. I am afraid that the day and night with ghosts and monsters for the past six months has already made me feel like I'm not here. He is inseparable from this place. If this is the case, when I kill this monster, that child will also be involved and die."

"How did this happen?!" I exclaimed in amazement.

Seeing the still calm face of the drug seller, I couldn't help but grabbed his sleeve and begged in a low voice: "No, please don't do this, I beg you to find a way anyway."

"Please, no matter what price I have to pay." I begged.

The pharmacist watched me quietly, which made him look like he was smiling, but he was not smiling, it was just a visual error caused by the lip gloss on his lips.

"There are only two options now." The drug seller said, his voice had a strange pause, which made people feel convincing.

"One is that I will chop your young master Xiuzhi together with this illusion." When he said this, I immediately retorted: "No, I will not make this choice."

The drug seller seemed to smile a little, and continued: "There is another one...you grab him and escape from this illusion together, and I pull out the demon sword after you escape."

"So, what would you choose?"

The drug seller squinted his eyes, and continued to talk to me in that magical voice: "Even if you leave here, it's better to say that it's safer. If you choose the second option, you have to go find Jin." Shima Shuji, what kind of crisis will happen along the way is unimaginable. What's more, Tsushima Shuji is a part of this illusion. Even if he is found and escapes with him, he may not be able to escape. Even I can't have 100 With a [-]% certainty, if this happens, you will definitely be implicated as well."

"If you just run away, you can definitely continue to survive, but if you don't run away and go to Shuji Tsushima..."

"I'll choose the second." Before the drug seller finished speaking, I interrupted him without hesitation. I stared at the drug seller vigorously and said, "Because I made an appointment with that child Go to see the cherry blossoms. In any case, I will not choose to abandon him."

"When winter is over and spring comes, leave Tsushima's house when the tree outside the window blooms, and go to Fuyuki City to see cherry blossoms together." I looked at my little finger, remembering the touch of the other's finger when pulling the hook, and I closed my eyes. eyes and said, "This is an agreement."

The drug seller blinked, and said with interest, "Oh? Did that kid say that?"

I don't know why he would ask such a question, and I just asked casually as a drug dealer, and I said, "Yes, what's wrong?"

The drug seller shook his head and said, "I think I need to tell you something."

"What's the matter?" I asked.

The drug seller said: "The duration of this illusion lasts until the servant dies."

"Huh?" I made a stunned voice in a daze.

The drug seller continued: "That is to say, winter will never pass here, and spring will never come again—that's what it means. He's been here for almost a year, and it's impossible for him to have nothing I noticed it, but he clearly knew this, but he still made an oath that was impossible to fulfill under the peace agreement."

"From the very beginning, he didn't even think about fulfilling the agreement with you." The drug seller said the truth of the matter bluntly.

"Even so, are you still going to find him?"

Just like me who thought that this agreement could not be fulfilled, Master Xiuzhi at that time also hooked me with the feeling that this agreement could not be fulfilled.

I was silent for a while, amazed that winter would never pass in this illusion, but after the silence, I still nodded stubbornly and said, "Yes."

"Although the winter in the illusion will never pass, the winter in reality will always pass. What's more, what we want to see is not the false cherry blossoms in the illusion but the real cherry blossoms. Therefore, this agreement is by no means impossible. "

"Winter will always pass, and spring will definitely come." I said seriously.

"What if he doesn't want to go with you?" The medicine seller continued to ask.

I closed my eyes and said my choice: "...If he really doesn't want to leave here, then I will stay here with him forever."

The calm face of the drug seller was rarely broken by astonishment. He looked at me and suddenly remembered that when he was killing a monster named "Zashiki Doji", there was a pregnant woman who tried everything to kill herself. child was born.

"Zashiki Doji", who was made up of the resentment of a child who couldn't be born, was moved by this woman, and finally disappeared with a smile.

The mother is an incredible creature, there are mothers who abandon them at birth, there are mothers who will do anything to have a child, there are mothers who abuse their children or give their children to others to ravage, and there are mothers who want to protect themselves no matter what happens the mother of the child.

It's not that the person who gave birth to a child is a mother, but she becomes a mother the moment she wants to be a mother.

The drug seller looked at me and said, "I can only delay for another 10 minutes at most."

"Enough." I said firmly, "Then—"

The moment my hand touched the door, I suddenly thought of a question, which made me stop. I looked at the drug seller and asked him the question in his heart.

"Is there a pure land of bliss or hell in this world? Are there gods?" I asked seriously.

"There are monsters, and there are monsters formed with people." The drug seller was not surprised by my sudden question, he just responded calmly: "As for the Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss and Hell? As far as I know, there is no Yes. There may have been gods in the past, but they are not so much gods as youkai who are enshrined and related to humans."

"That is to say, there are no gods in this world now?" I confirmed to him.

The drug seller said directly: "Yes."

"Sure enough, just praying is useless." I sighed, thinking of all my prayers before, I couldn't help but feel a little funny.

"So if you want something, you can only do it yourself." I said so.

The drug seller smiled and said: "Then I'm going to open the door, please run out as fast as I can, Miss Sachiko, and I'll stop them as much as possible, as for the rest, it's up to you. "

"Thank you! Mr. Medicine Seller!" I said, bowing to him.

The moment the medicine seller opened the door, the ghosts guarding outside attacked me frantically, but the moment they touched me, the medicine seller used the talisman again to protect me.

After seeing a passage between the ghosts and monsters, I concentrated on my legs and ran out with all my strength.

Sachiko.

I shouted to myself in my heart: Sachiko, there are no gods in this world.

So, stop praying to God, you must love the child yourself, and treat the child tenderly.Can it be done?No matter what happens in the future, even if he commits an unforgivable sin, he must not abandon him, but try his best to pull him up when the child is about to fall, can it be done?Can you take another life on your shoulders and never leave him behind?

I heard a small echoing voice from the deepest part of my heart.

"Ah."