Be Dazai's mother

In this way, I spent several days in a state of turmoil, and on a certain night, I had a nightmare.

I am dreaming.

I know this because I'm looking at my big bump and reaching out to stroke it.

There is another mass of living flesh and blood breathing in my stomach, it is connected with my blood, and I can even hear its small, lovely heartbeat in a trance.

It was a very wonderful feeling, even knowing that I was asleep, I couldn't help but indulge in this wonderful feeling.

There is still a period of time before you can be born and feel the world.

So good, so good, so good.

The lonely heart became soft because of this incident, and the world seemed to be covered with a layer of light.

What name shall you name for you who will be born in winter?Will you complain to me when you grow up that my name is too rustic?

After you are born, we can eat together, go to the park together, and watch the cherry blossoms together.There may be troublesome things and sad things, but as long as the two are together, we will be able to overcome those difficulties hand in hand.

My child, my child, my child.

I was immersed in this blissful feeling of happiness and couldn't extricate myself, stroking my stomach tenderly.

Someone's crying came from behind.

I turned around and looked at the dark ground.There was a child who couldn't see clearly crying. He stretched out his hands and kept wiping the tears on his face, making a cub-like "woo-woo" sound.

I was bewildered and flustered, trying to reach out to comfort the child, but for some reason my hands couldn't reach it.

I could only ask worriedly, "What's the matter?"

"It hurts so much." The child said so, it kept crying shrillly, and cried out in pain with a tender and soft voice: "I hurt so much, I'm so cold, it's really painful, woo woo woo."

"help me."

""Mother"."

help you?Why do I say save you?what happened?

pat pat pat pat.

A creepy sound came from somewhere, as if something soft fell to the ground.

I lowered my head and looked at my blood-stained, dry and flat stomach, and the blood-soaked flesh on the ground, and belatedly thought: Did the sound come from here?

The mass of things struggled and let out a shrill cry.

"It hurts! Help me—Mom!"

...

...

...

"Ughhhhhhh-"

There was a scream from somewhere, my throat hurt as if I was swallowing blood, and the pungent rust smell enveloped all my consciousness.

When the tears fell on my hand and disappeared easily, I realized that it was my scream.

"Sachiko! Sachiko! Sachiko!" Someone was calling me, it was a voice that had to be answered, which made me open my eyes, and a familiar figure faintly appeared in my hazy and blurred vision.

——It’s Master Xiuzhi.

When I woke up, I found that I was covered in sweat, and Master Xiuzhi appeared in my room at some point.Maybe they heard my screams and came to my side.

The serious child pursed his lips, held my face in his hands, and said to me with an unbelievably calm attitude: "What happened?"

I looked at him blankly, before I could react, tears overflowed from my eyes and slid down my cheeks.

"My child is dead." I looked at Master Xiuzhi and said softly.

Even if I knew it was impossible, I couldn't help telling Master Xiuzhi what I had been hiding in my heart through gritted teeth.

Even knowing that this is Mei's mood, I can't get rid of this nightmare.Because I took Mei's body, I also had to embrace all her despair and resentment.

"But that's not my child, I understand it, I obviously understand it, but it's still so sad, so sad." I said with sobs.

I also said some things indiscriminately, and I didn't know what I said. With my mind in chaos, I could only instinctively and constantly pour out my inner anxiety and pain.

All the negative emotions of the past few days lead to me at this moment, making me feel like I collapsed in an instant.Sadness and self-blame for Mei's child, fear of ghosts, uneasiness and anxiety about the future, love and guilt for Master Xiuzhi, hatred and despair for his cowardice and indecision...

An ocean of emotions overwhelmed me, almost drowning me in the ocean.

What the hell should I do?

Master Xiuzhi looked at me quietly, and then he gave me a hug.

When I was hugged tightly by Master Xiuzhi, I blinked blankly and subconsciously hugged him back.

Although he is already eight years old, Master Xiuzhi is as skinny as a child who is only five or six years old. He does not have the warm and fleshy touch of ordinary children. When hugging, he can directly touch his bones.

This is another life, a small, fragile, yet extremely heavy life.I suddenly realized how heavy the life in my arms was, but also how precious this life was.

Because of this, it takes an extremely firm heart to bear such a life.If you want to bear such a life, tears and love are not enough.

Tears overflowed from my eyes, I closed my eyes, and hugged that thin body tightly like a life-saving straw.

Obviously thinking that this is not allowed, I am no longer a child, how can I seek comfort in the arms of a child who is not even up to my waist, but I can't help but seek this warmth.

I was able to wear it on Mei's body and gain a second life, perhaps because of Mei's request when he was dying: Please, save my child, save him, no matter what price I pay .

But when I transmigrated to her and became conscious, that child was already dead.

I can't save him.

Eat together, go to the park together, go to see the cherry blossoms together - these are all impossible.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, I can't let you live, I can't let you grow up properly.

The child in the dream was still crying, crying and calling for help, mom.

While weeping, I felt pain for my sin, but at the same time, I felt redemption in the little arms of Master Xiuzhi.

I feel pain for that child's death, but I am not Mei, and Master Shuji is not that child.

I am Sachiko, not anyone else, nor anyone's mother, just Sachiko, who just wants to be the mother of Master Shuzhi alone.

I was plunged into darkness again.

When I woke up again, it was still dark outside, but Master Xiuzhi had already left.Maybe it was because my screams were too sharp that I alarmed him just now, which made him come to me.

I sat in a dark room, quietly looking at my reflection by the window.

Ever since I found out that there really are ghosts in the world, I've wondered if that's the case, will you haunt me as a wraith.

I looked at the woman behind me who looked exactly like me, but with crazy eyes, and said sadly, "You really turned into a ghost too."

——"Mei."

Why haven't I found out all this time, you are wrapping around me by my side, crying nonstop.

Mei, who had already turned into a resentful spirit after death, kept shedding blood and tears, and kept muttering: "My child, my child, save my child."

I looked at her and said, "...Sorry, I can't save him."

When I was reborn on Mei's body and became conscious, the corpse of the baby beside me had already become icy cold.And Mei, who turned into a wraith, has been tightly entangled with me and never left.This also makes me, who has Mei's body, deeply empathize with her.

But I can't save Mei's child.

"I'm really sorry, but—" I heard my own impossibly calm voice echoing in the dark room.

"At least this time I want to protect that child." I still have guilt for Mei and grief for Mei's child in my heart, but now I can't make up for them.

I'm sorry. Please forgive me.Maybe I am not qualified to say such words nor to ask for forgiveness.

But please forgive my selfishness, my cruelty, and my powerlessness.Listen to my wish, even if it is to let me fall into the [-]th floor of hell to atone for my sins, please listen to it.

I stared at her with eyes that were very similar to hers, almost pleading, and said as if crying.

—“I want to be his mother.”

"I want to be that child...Master Xiuzhi's mother."

"No matter what the price is, I want to protect him as a mother."

It's not because of being affected by Mei's emotions, nor because of guilt for the dead Mei's child, it's just that I, Sachiko Kotori, wants to be Shuji Tsushima's mother.

Mei looked at me quietly, maybe she was thinking why after she died, I could still become the mother of another child after using her body?

In my imagination, Mei might resent me or kill me, but what I didn't expect was that the eyes full of madness and grief calmed down, and she leaned over and hugged me gently.

Although she didn't speak, I, who had a deep connection with her, understood what she wanted to say at this moment.

——Then go, take on the weight of another life, and embrace that life.

"...Thank you." I said that with a determined look in my eyes.

You can no longer hesitate, once you make a decision, you have to figure out what you are going to do next.

Let's go with that child, far away together, to a place where no one knows.

Let's live together.

The author has something to say: Sachiko has finally made up her mind!

Next, I will take Master Xiuzhi away.

The future may be full of uneasiness and unknowns, but as long as we hold each other's hands, we will be able to move on.

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Push the advance collection that I want to open next, and want to try other styles of writing, interested girls can go and help me warm up the collection first (cross out

Colleague: "This man is super strong but lucky E", the male protagonist is obviously super strong but has his own misfortune BUFF, in view of the ceiling of combat power between natural and ruthless.Unfortunately, he could be hit by a meteorite at any time. Although he could escape, it would affect the people around him.Funny and cool text, no CP.

Yuan Tan: 1. In "The NPC That Can't Be Beaten", a game that is popular all over the universe, everyone finds that no matter which character is conquered, the last character will say that their favorite is only Yi Wenzhi.And Yi Wenzhi is an NPC that cannot be attacked.The protagonist who wants to live a peaceful life but someone always wants to attack him, so he gives them a negative favor.

2. "Those Years I Was the God of Creation" has serious emotional flaws, and Luo Yan, who is difficult to feel and feel emotions of others, becomes the story of God of Creation.It's a heartwarming article, but all of them didn't make it in the early stage.The suitors include women, people outside (there are those who can become like ordinary humans and beasts, please note) and handsome old men (.

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Thanks for the time:

Thanks to the little angel who threw the landmine: born as a human, Senhai Tanabata, with one eyebrow;

Thanks to the little angel of irrigation nutrient solution: 6 bottles of Momo;

Thank you very much for the support of little angels (づ￣3￣)づ