Clear Feather of the Ring

Long Tianyu really wanted to understand some things, so when the new semester started, he honestly returned to S University and started his sophomore class.

He didn't live in the apartment anymore, even though he had figured out that he and Yi Qing were in the past tense, he still couldn't stay in the place Yi Qing used to stay for long.Long Tianyu directly applied for a single dormitory in the department, and moved in after undergoing some renovations like in high school.Sometimes, it is one thing to understand, but it is another thing to face it with care.

Compared with the high-profile and publicity in his freshman year, Long Tianyu has become a lot more low-key.In the new class, facing unfamiliar classmates who were younger than him, he had no intention of blending in at all.Reading has never been his pleasure, but Yi Qing is, and Yi Qing is the source of motivation for him to do everything.It was because he went to the same university as Yi Qing that he was admitted to S University; it was because of Yi Qing's car racing that he joined the X circle; it was because of Yi Qing's compliment that he only took photography...

Yi Qing made him do many things that he never thought of before, and indirectly made him a better self.It's just that now, he doesn't have Yi Qing anymore, and he can no longer find a reason to get better.

He skipped classes as much as possible, slept in the dormitory and played games during the day, and went out to play ball or hang out in the X circle at night.This kind of mediocre life continued until the end of the first semester of my sophomore year.Long Tianyu had a clever mind. Even though he missed so many classes, he could still pass the exam by reading the notes before each exam.

Although his character is much harder to get close to than in the past, many people still come to curry favor with him because of his previous reputation in school and family wealth.Compared with the previous disdainful attitude towards such flatterers, Long Tianyu actually became friendly to them, not only did not show an expression of disgust, but was also very happy with their flattery, and he accepted them as if he would never refuse them. to his subordinates.

He needs their hypocrisy in front of him, he needs their rhetoric in his ears, he needs all such flashy hypocrisy to cover up and numb his inner emptiness and loneliness.He no longer needs the kind of sincere, heart-pounding feelings. Such feelings are illusions, dreams, and deadly lights.

So, on the night of his birthday, when Qiu Guoguo confessed to himself in front of everyone in the X circle, when Long Tianyu looked at the extremely serious face on the stage, all the wine he just drank went down his throat Chung.He was afraid that he would vomit it out on the spot, so he ran out in a hurry and vomited by the trash can on the side of the road.

Qiu Guoguo's confession still lingers in his ears: "Brother Yu, I love you."

"I love you." How long has it been since I heard these three words?How long has it been since I didn't say these three words again?It's been that long since that person left.

Long Tianyu squatted on the side of the road, and there was still thin unmelted snow on the side of the road after it snowed.He looked at the pool of dirt he had spit out, still steaming white in the cold wind.Disgusting, love is fucking disgusting.

"Brother Yu? I'm sorry."

Long Tianyu raised his head and saw Qiu Guoguo standing in front of him, shivering nervously, with tears in the corners of his eyes that he would not wipe away in the future. "Brother Yu, I'm sorry. I didn't know you would have such a big reaction."

Trembling, Qiu Guoguo handed the mineral water and tissues in front of Long Tianyu.It took all my courage to confess to Long Tianyu in front of a large group of people, and now I still dare to stand here to deliver water and paper to him, it is entirely because of the love for him that supports me.He loves Long Tianyu, whether he has money or not, whether he is enthusiastic or indifferent, Qiu Guoguo still loves him as always.

Long Tianyu is the hand that he stretched out from the water surface when he was about to sink to the bottom of the water. Long Tianyu is the beam of light that came in from the outside when he fell into the darkness. Long Tianyu is the wall that he erected when his life collapsed.He loves him, this love, because of Yi Qing's existence, he could not bear to say it.Now that Yi Qing has left, he no longer wants to suppress his passionate love.

"Brother Yu?..." Qiu Guoguo watched as Long Tianyu took a big gulp of water from his hand, and then spit it out on the grass next to him.He didn't know whether Long Tianyu was more angry or disgusted with him now, but no matter what, he didn't want to leave at this time.Even if he was rejected, he had to hear the answer with his own ears. "Brother Yu, do you hate me?"

"Guoguo, I don't hate you. I vomited because I drank too much, don't think about it." Long Tianyu wiped the water from the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand and stood up.

Long Tianyu was tall and had a big frame. Even though he had lost a lot of weight due to his previous illness, he still looked very burly in front of the thin Qiu Guoguo.Qiu Guoguo's height was only at Long Tianyu's nose, and because she was wearing an ill-fitting long down jacket, she looked even smaller. "Brother Yu, I love you. Really, I love you very much." Qiu Guoguo raised her head vigorously, and looked directly at Long Tianyu.

Uncontrollable, when I heard the word "love", another nauseating desire rose in my heart.Long Tianyu lowered his head, looked at those eyes with tears shining in them under the light, "Guoguo, I don't like men."

Qiu Guoguo froze for a moment, and those big and bright eyes opened wider because of surprise. "Yu...Brother Yu...you lie. Then you and Yi Qing..." If you don't like men, why are you with Yi Qing?

"He's the exception." He's the exception, the only exception in my life.It has nothing to do with gender, I love him whether he is male or female.Others, no.

"Brother Yu..." For the first time, for the first time in front of Long Tianyu, he didn't care about his delicate makeup or his distorted face when he cried, tears poured out of his eyes like floods.I was prepared to be rejected a long time ago, but I didn't expect to be rejected in this way.He said he didn't like men, he said he only liked Yi Qing.

He doesn't like men, but he likes Yi Qing!

Why, why can't it be me?Why, I can't be your exception? "Brother Yu...Brother Yu, hug me. Can you... hug me?" Hug me, hug me, you were my hand, my light, my wall, you are I, the one I will never have, you are my beloved, the one I can’t pray for.Just hug me, just like you hugged me when you were hurt, just once, just this once.From now on, I will never mention loving you again, I will continue to love you secretly in my heart as before.

"Guoguo, don't..." Long Tianyu looked at Qiu Guoguo whose shoulders were shaking from crying, and saw the soft hair on the top of his head trembling due to the shaking of his shoulders, and remembered that he was curled up on the bedside when he was hurt. With a pitiful look, the words of refusal stopped between his teeth, but he still couldn't open his mouth.

"Thank you, Brother Yu, thank you..." During Long Tianyu's brief hesitation, Qiu Guoguo had already rushed forward and hugged Long Tianyu tightly.

I don't know why, but when Qiu Guoguo rushed forward, Long Tianyu felt his heart hurt inexplicably at that moment.He looked behind him, it was dark and there was nothing there.There was nothing in the first place, what else did I expect.

It's been two years, what else to look forward to?

Long Tianyu turned his head and gently pushed Qiu Guoguo away from his arms: "Don't do this in the future, let's go."

In the darkness, from the place Long Tianyu was staring at just now, there was a tiny light flickering, which lasted for a long time.It wasn't until Long Tianyu and Qiu Guoguo disappeared on the other side of the road that the person who had been standing in the darkness, motionless, finally came out from behind the tree and left in the opposite direction.

Yi Qing was wearing a long black windbreaker, with a high collar covering his neck.He was wearing a black peaked cap and a black mask on his face. In places where there was no light, he would not be seen at all.He glanced at the two disappearing figures for a long time, then walked out of the darkness, turned and left.

Yes, it's Yi Qing, he's back.After two years, returning to China for the first time, for nothing else, he just wanted to take a look at Long Tianyu from afar.I shouldn't have come back. The hard and difficult days before have passed, why I couldn't help it all of a sudden, why did I buy a ticket so impulsively, and flew here all day and night, just to see To see him?

I shouldn't have come, so what if I come?When he came, he couldn't say happy birthday to him in person, and he couldn't look at him face to face, and he couldn't, like Qiu Guoguo, give him a hug.

Even though he shouldn't come and couldn't come, he still came in the end.He walked past the football field where Long Tianyu celebrated his 19th birthday, sat on the wet stands, and recalled that night when Long Tianyu stood in the middle of the football field and shouted "I love you" to himself.As he walked across the basketball court, he remembered the night they had kissed in the crowd, hidden under their coats, on the night of the photo show awards.He walked through the main road of the school and saw himself being carried on the back by Long Tianyu.He traveled to many places, and every place had memories of one kind or another that belonged to him and Long Tianyu.Every corner and every memory is sparing no effort to open up the feelings that have been sealed up with great difficulty.

He just wandered around the school like this, not knowing if he could meet Long Tianyu.The ticket to go back has already been booked, even if he can't meet him, he will still have to leave when the time comes.He didn't know whether he wanted to see him more or not.It should be because the desire to see it is stronger, otherwise why would you fly back? !

But what is the difference between seeing him and not seeing him?Every expression and every movement of him has already flashed back thousands of times in his own thoughts and in his brain.His face has long been deeply engraved in my heart. What is the difference between being in front of my eyes and not being in front of my eyes?

However, he still wants to see him with his own eyes, he wants to confirm with his own eyes whether he is doing well.

He didn't expect to run into Long Tianyu when he was about to leave, and saw him coming out of the activity room in Circle X.At that moment, my heart almost jumped out.Finally, I see you again.It's been two years and this is the first time I've been so close to you.Yi Qing leaned against a tree, and under the cover of darkness, stared straight at Long Tianyu.He was thinner, his complexion was not good, his hair was cut, and he exuded a cold aura.

He saw Long Tianyu squatting on the side of the road vomiting in discomfort.Did you drink too much again?Yi Qing frowned, watching Long Tianyu squatting on the edge of the grass covered with snow, panting.If he had changed before, he would have stepped forward and dragged him into the car, and brought him home to clean up.But now, he could only hide in the dark and watch him quietly and from afar.

He saw Qiu Guoguo walk over and gave Long Tianyu a tissue to drink.He saw the two of them talking together, and Qiu Guoguo cried while talking.Then, he saw Qiu Guoguo hugging Long Tianyu.

His heart ached at that moment.

It turned out that Long Tianyu was doing well.Even if I'm not around, someone will remember his birthday, someone will take care of him when he's drunk, and someone will hug him when he's sad...

That's great. Originally, I was worried that a single-minded person like you would keep clinging to the past, and I was worried that you would be devastated because of my betrayal.It seems that I was worrying too much.

You are doing well, I am happy for you.

Yi Qing took out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, and after the two of them turned around, lit them up, one after another.It is because I am happy that I need to smoke to calm down my mood.If you get rid of the momentary pain in your heart just now, then you are really, really happy.

I'm relieved to see you doing well.

Yi Qing walked out from the side door of the school, standing tall and thin in the crowd, looking extraordinarily solemn.He raised his hand to hail a passing taxi, and after only staying for a few hours, he rushed to the airport to catch the plane back.

He sat in the taxi, because of the long flight and jet lag, his whole body exuded a tired and sleepy look.Even though he was so tired, when he closed his eyes, what came to mind was still that person's face.

Long Tianyu, happy birthday.Yi Qing said it silently in her heart, and the hands that were clasped with ten fingers exerted force, and the grip became even tighter.