Clear Feather of the Ring

When Long Tianyu returned to the dormitory, the feeling of heartache when Qiu Guoguo rushed over was still in his heart.For a moment, he really thought that there was something looking at him in the darkness.Yi Qing, is that you?will it be you

How wonderful it would be if it were you!

You see, I'm looking forward to it again, and I'm cranky again.How could it be you, you have such a good life, you have abandoned the past long ago, how could you come back?How is it possible, still remember me, remember my birthday?

You shouldn't drink alcohol. When you drink alcohol, you will easily lose your mind. When you are unconscious, you will easily think of you, and when you think of you, you will easily feel sad.

I shouldn't drink, I haven't thought of you for a long time, I almost forgot about you, but when I drink, I think of you again.

Long Tianyu took out a can of beer from the refrigerator, opened it, and touched the air, "Long Tianyu, happy birthday." He raised his neck and drank the whole can in one go.

He crumpled the empty soda can into a ball and threw it viciously on the opposite wall.

Actually, I'm not happy at all, fuck birthday, fuck happy.

When the year was approaching the end, Long Tianyu, who had been behaving normally, suddenly disappeared from home.Long Ma almost searched the entire S City, but she still couldn't find him.

Long Tianyu ran away from home without warning. On the night of the 28th, after everyone fell asleep, he only carried a small bag and left home.

He left without leaving a word.

As the Chinese New Year draws nearer, the joyous laughter everywhere makes him nowhere to hide.He really didn't want to think about Yi Qing, he really wanted to cross this hurdle.However, when he accidentally discovered the video camera in the room and saw the video of himself and Yi Qing a long time ago, he still failed.He thought about Yi Qing terribly.Every minute and every second of thinking about him is so hard.He felt that he had held back for long enough, he felt that missing Yi Qing was going to drive him crazy, and he felt that if he didn't do something else, he would have trouble going on.

Suddenly, he wanted to go out for a walk.For some reason, he thought of Mount Tai.He remembered what Yi Qing had told him, that he wanted to climb Mount Tai when it was snowing.He had promised that Yi Qing would accompany him, but it was two years late to fulfill the promise.

That night, he checked the weather on Mount Tai.Almost by God's will, there has only been a snowfall over there.He packed a small amount of luggage that night and set off for Mount Tai.

When Long Tianyu stood at the foot of Mount Tai again, looking at the familiar road leading to the top of the mountain, he felt the cruelty of the word "things are right and people are wrong".

The snow on the road has long been cleaned up by the staff of the scenic spot, only a thin layer of snow remains in the woods on both sides of the road.Along the way, Long Tianyu didn't stop much, just kept his head on his way.Of course, his physical condition can't be compared with the first time he came, even then he still had to walk for a while and rest for a while, not to mention his current state.But he still gritted his teeth and kept walking.

When he passed the Guanyin Temple along the way, he didn't go in again.He still remembered what he was looking for at the beginning, what he wanted was for himself and Yi Qing to last forever.Unfortunately, it didn't last long.Obviously I hoped so piously in my heart at the time, and I was so sincere at the time, why did it still not work?

He also remembered what Yi Qing said after he and Yi Qing talked about the vow he made, and it didn't work when he said it.Is it really like that, is it because of my own fault, is it because I said it myself that it didn't work?

If I had known that this would happen, I should have rotted that sentence in my stomach for the rest of my life. In this case, could it be that I and Yi Qing can really last for a long time?

For a long time, for a long time... Long Tianyu chewed this word over and over in his heart all the way to the top of the mountain.

He set off early, and it was still midnight when he reached the top of the mountain, and there were almost no people on the top of the mountain.He found the big rock that Yi Qing was sitting with.Long Tianyu swept off a small piece of snow and sat on it.The temperature in the middle of the night was terribly low, and his whole body was almost numb from the cold.

He sat on the stone for a while, blowing the biting cold wind at night, which almost covered his face with icy scum.He thought, if there is Yi Qing's phone number, he must call him and tell him that the idea of ​​climbing Mount Tai when it snows is simply too bad, only a masochist would like this kind of self-mutilation.But he thought again, if he really had Yi Qing's phone, he wouldn't be here alone.

He put the little bag on his lap, and before his fingers were frozen, he pulled out a piece of paper.He turned on the flashlight in his phone and looked carefully at the spread paper for a long time.That was the self-portrait Yi Qing drew for herself when she was a sophomore in high school.After graduating from the third year of high school, I tore it off the wall of the dormitory, framed it with a photo frame and hung it in the bedroom at home.He gently stroked the face on the drawing paper with his hand.There was still a sense of alienation on that face when we first met, there was an unfathomable faint gloom between the eyebrows and eyes, but there was a slight upward arc at the corner of the mouth.

When I saw Yi Qing for the first time, I felt that although this man was handsome, his face of indifference that rejected people thousands of miles away covered most of his heroic spirit, making people afraid to approach him.It wasn't until later that I realized that the man could be so warm and beautiful when he smiled, so good-looking that I fell headfirst into it, and couldn't get out.

Long Tianyu held the painting and looked at it for a long time. He closed his eyes, followed the memory in his mind, and slid his fingers across the drawing paper. Here is Yi Qing's forehead, here are eyebrows, here are eyes, nose, Lips... He really hoped that the face under his hands would gradually warm up and become alive under his touch.He really hoped that when he opened his eyes again, Yi Qing would be standing in front of him.However, the drawing paper was also deeply chilled in the cold wind, as if reminding him that what he was touching was just a lifeless portrait.

He opened his eyes, didn't dare to take another look at the face on the drawing paper, took out a lighter from his pocket, and lit a corner of the drawing paper.The small flame swayed in the wind, attacking most of the drawing paper at once.As soon as the hand holding the corner of the drawing paper was released, the fluffy paper flew away with the wind along with the flames.

Yi Qing, goodbye.Although I should have said goodbye to you a long time ago, I was always reluctant to let it go, so I couldn't make up my mind.

Yi Qing, goodbye.Long Tianyu took out his phone and deleted all the photos about Yi Qing in the album.Yi Qing, I won't miss you anymore, Long Tianyu deleted all the text messages and chat records with Yi Qing from his phone.Yi Qing, I won't wait for you anymore, Long Tianyu deleted all the previous contact information about Yi Qing from his phone.Yi Qing, I will forget you, just as I tried so hard to love you before, I will try my best to forget you in the future.

He pulled out the SD card in the video recorder and threw it into the boundless darkness.

From the top of the mountain, you can see that the entire city is already in a sea of ​​flowers in full bloom. This year has passed like this.

Long Tianyu yelled towards the invisible distance, towards the silent valley: "Yi Qing, goodbye."

"Yi Qing, I hate you. Yi Qing, I hate you. I hate you. I hate you..." Long Tianyu roared with all his strength.I hate you, I hate you for walking into my world so easily, I hate the happiness you brought me, I hate the love you once made me believe in, I hate you, I hate you for leaving suddenly, I hate you for leaving so easily Take it easy, hate you, hate you...

Obviously, I was shouting "I hate you" desperately, but why, why did I say "I love you" madly in my heart?

I love you, I love you even if you are a man.I love you, I love you even if you are so cold.I love you, even if you have forgotten me, love you, love you...

I hate you, but I still love you.

I love you, but I also hate you.

I love you, from the past to the present.However, I have decided not to love now, because this love is a poison that seals my throat when I see blood, and a sharp knife that pierces my heart, making me live like a human and a ghost.

Yi Qing, I don't love you anymore.From now on, I will forget my love for you and only remember my hatred for you.I hate you, that's why I want to live a good life, live better than you, better than you, I want you to regret when you see me again, regret leaving at the beginning, regret the decision at the beginning.

Yi Qing, one day, I will ask you to beg me in person.On that day, I will give you back all the pain you have caused me in the past two years.

Yi Qing, listen carefully, for the last time, I love you.For the last time, as Long Tianyu who once loved you.From now on, Long Tianyu, who was desperate for you, is dead, and the only one left is me who hates you.