Jinnian

After returning home, Lu Chuxiu was lying on the sofa with no image, obviously drunk, but his mind was sober, but he seemed to have just returned from morning exercise.The servant asked if there was bath water, and the only male owner in the room closed his eyes and said nothing. The house was gorgeous and empty, and the cramped atmosphere made the waiters do not know how to deal with it. They missed the life when there was another man. At that time The house is very warm, with a strong atmosphere of life. Although there are two men, one is warm and the other is calm. They are a perfect match when they stand together. At that time, there were laughter, noise and reading in the room. , there was music, and the corridors at that time were full of two people walking hand in hand.But now, everything in the house is the same as before, except that there is a lack of smoke and fire, and it is as silent as a tomb.

There is also a "marriage certificate" made by him on the wall, which is framed and hung high in the center of the room.

It's just a piece of thin paper without legal force, it can't prove anything, but after all, he is reluctant to take it off, just because the names of Lu Chuxiu and Gu Chen are put together in the format of lovers on this piece of paper.

Jiang Tong said, there are so many good men in the world, what kind do you want based on your worth?Why be so paranoid?

Qiao Chi said, you are not a sloppy person, you should be clean when you are broken. Is it interesting to hold on to the past every day?

Xu Cheng said, Ah Chu, it's just longing, how difficult is this?You can go to him, and he will be handcuffed and returned. If you don't go, then give up, throw this person away completely, and then become the Lu Chuxiu we know!

Spicy alcohol was poured down his throat one by one, and the man's eyes finally began to blur. He lay in the empty room, looked at the clean "marriage certificate" on the wall, and suddenly yelled frantically: "What do you know? Nothing Understand...how is it possible...to give up? How...can you?"

They don't understand how much effort he used to catch him, and how many good times they have experienced; I don't understand, there is a person in this world who can infiltrate his soul and thoughts into your bone marrow, making you unable to stop.

They don't understand because they have never been so happy and whole as he was.

Pascal said that man is a thinking reed.Perhaps the reason why a person is great lies in his ability to recognize his own sadness, he understands the passage of time, he knows how to grasp the emotions worth cherishing in the lost things, and he knows how to grasp the people worth protecting in the beauty of his own life. But everything in the world doesn't understand, the sun and the moon don't understand, they just reincarnate year after year.So Lu Chuxiu grieves, this kind of pain is extended from the past, the true sweetness of the past makes the real solitude seem broken and absurd.

What he couldn't get out of was not this person, but their past, the helplessness and frustration that he had to leave despite knowing that Gu Chen still loved him in his heart.

It's not that he can't go to him, but he doesn't dare, he doesn't know if Gu Chen can accept the struggle and exhaustion he brought to him.

The most comfortable thing about a small city is that standing in the gentle summer night wind, you can look up at the stars twinkling in your eyes, prepare two cups of thin wine, and cross your knees to see the stars. It would be a pity in life not to experience it for yourself.However, most of the time, even if people have the heart to appreciate it, it is difficult to be lost in patience, and the stars this night have become lifeless as a foil.

Gu Chen locked the book he brought back from the clinic into the cabinet on the bottom floor of the study, and there was obviously a small blue and hard lock hanging on it - the longer a person lives, the more things need to be buried, isn't it? Need, but no longer have the value of existence.He sat in the chair quietly for a while, and suddenly heard a sound from outside, and stood up quickly.

"Gu Chen, I'm here." The voice of the visitor was cold and concise.

When Gu Chen came out, he saw that Qiu Luo had already taken off her coat and was changing her shoes. Her brows and eyes seemed a little tired, but her demeanor was still polite.

Qiu Luo is his former master, and also a confidant and good friend who has few in his life. If he hadn't helped him back then, he might have lost his body. Life is like this. Sometimes you want to break with the past completely, but life doesn't matter From which node to disconnect, as long as you want to live, then you always have to accumulate in the past.Those people and those things can never be completely broken if you want to.

Fortunately, the one he knew was Qiu Luo.

"Let's eat." Gu Chen brought out the dishes, Qiu Luo had called before he came, and he specially made some delicious local side dishes.

The man took a few bites with his chopsticks and praised, "Your cooking is getting better and better."

She seldom heard his compliments, even when she followed him as an intern, Qiu Luo seldom had compliments.Gu Chen stretched his eyebrows, picked up his chopsticks and said, "Really? Then you should eat more!"

Qiu Luo nodded, and after a while she suddenly raised her head and said, "I'll sleep with you tonight, I didn't book a hotel."

Gu Chen was curious: "Didn't he come with you?"

Qiu Luo said lightly: "Yes."

Gu Chen blinked, continued to eat, and was silent in his heart, probably because they had quarreled again recently!

"How is the child? Is he almost able to read and write now?" He changed the subject.

"Well, the nanny brought it with her. She is getting fatter every day, and she can still eat. I'm really afraid that in a year or two, the family will raise two little piglets!" Qiu Luo was quite depressed.

Gu Chen smiled lowly: "Children, how can you grow up if you don't eat!"

Qiu Luo smiled at him and buried her head in eating. During the dinner, the two chatted and teased from time to time, and the meal was lively.

"Gu Chen, give me a set of your pajamas." Qiu Luo's cold voice came from the bathroom.

Gu Chen found a set of clean clothes for him to take in, and suddenly remembered that when he was still in the hospital, Qiu Luo always asked him to help him get clean clothes every time he got off the operating table to take a shower.Years passed in a flash, the voice was so familiar that his reactions began to become dull.

After a long while in a daze, he hurriedly sent the clothes in, and then tidied up the guest room.Force yourself to put away the sudden distracting thoughts.When he went into the bedroom to get clothes to take a bath, he saw Qiu Luo had come out. The pajamas were indeed a bit small for him, and Gu Chen was embarrassed.Seeing that his hair was still dripping, he said, "Sit down, and I'll get you a hair dryer."

"No, it's pretty cool." Qiu Luo said casually, paused, and whispered, "Gu Chen, don't you...don't want to come back?"

Gu Chen raised his head sharply, Qiu Luo's back was facing him, her figure was still slender and perfect, with a towel hanging around her neck, his tone was so plain, but the words he said almost made him fall down.After a while, Gu Chen said lightly: "So what if we go back, life is pretty good now."

Qiu Luo turned to look at him, her usually indifferent eyes seemed to contain some forbearance, and finally his eyes fell on the books on Gu Chen's bedside. There is a copy of "Nephrology".He was a little embarrassed: "Well... usually when I see a patient, there will be some forgotten things, you...don't think too much about it."

Qiu Luo put on a wooden face: "Gu Chen, are you going to cover it up with me?"

He has long been accustomed to Qiu Luo's directness. Indeed, he really has no need to hide it in front of this person: "Even if I still want to be a doctor and return to my old life, you have already seen that I am a useless person myself." It's not up to me to decide whether I want it or not, do you understand? Qiu Luo." Gu Chen's voice was a little angry, and no one likes being exposed directly and mercilessly.

Qiu Luo glanced at him, and her tone was also very calm: "Your legs are already healed, and they are no different from normal people. The scars from back then have all passed away. Gu Chen, what is it that can't go back?".

Gu Chen was silent, the warm and beautiful images that he armed just now were instantly shattered, as if mocking his weakness at the moment.

After a while, Qiu Luo suddenly said softly: "I'm sorry, I'm not..." He has never been good at evaluating other people's choices, but Gu Chen is not someone else, so he continued: "In the past, I thought that some things were just fine. You try your best, but you still can't have both, but now, you suddenly realize that life is yours in the end, and it might not be too bad to indulge in an ending for yourself."

Gu Chen looked at him with clear eyes: "That's because you have come out of the worst time." He lowered his head: "Qiu Luo, I miss him so much, countless times, in dreams and outside of dreams, I miss him like crazy." He, but," his eyes were full of sadness and powerlessness: "I don't have the courage, I can't look at him like I used to, and I... am no longer the man he once liked, you know? I can't go back..."

Can't go back, this is what Gu Chen said the most in three years, Qiu Luo rarely saw him showing such a weak side, even in the most difficult year.But now, this [-]-year-old man is helpless like a child who has lost his support. When his long eyelashes hang down, it is like a big bird quietly retracting its wings behind him.Sometimes his silence is more lethal than anyone else's noise, Qiu Luo can't bear it, he understands his helplessness and struggle, and he doesn't want to force him.

He walked over, hugged Gu Chen gently, remained silent for a long time, and whispered: "I'm sorry."

"It's not caused by you, why are you saying this!" Gu Chen said lightly.

"Your dream." Qiu Luo's voice was still very low, with a rare softness, as if recalling the past: "A group of interns came to the hospital the day before yesterday, exactly like you were back then, I saw them always thinking, If only you were still alive!"

Qiu Luo recalled the youthful but hopeful look when she first met Gu Chen in the hospital. If life continues like this, he must be the most outstanding surgeon now.

Gu Chen's shoulders trembled inaudibly.