[Gintama] Remember to neuter cats first

Hi everyone, yes it's me again.In view of the fact that the mentally retarded author insisted on using an SP as the beginning of the series like Yin his mother, I presented a [-]-word desperate and mentally retarded me.What did you say about my teeth?Then let me ask you what happened to the ○○ that Silver Sauna turned into a hammer?Have you ever seen that the mentally retarded daily life in Silver Fuck has a lot to do with the main plot?

Well, in short, a mentally retarded SP is over, and then enter the main drama.

Wait a minute, let me see the current time... Oh, I don't have a name yet, and I'm not a cat demon, just a weak and pitiful little black cat, you can call me Xiao Hei.I was seriously injured, and my whole body was in pain. Suddenly, I felt a pair of hands grabbing my armpits and lifting me up.

I opened my eyes and saw a man with light-colored long hair looking at me with a smile.This is my clear memory of the first scene of this world.He looked at me for a while and said softly, "You're still alive." Then he held me in his arms and took me home.There was a sign in front of his house, but I couldn't read it at that time.

I stayed at his house, and apart from me and him, no third warm-blooded animal lived here.The man seems to like to pick things up. After a few days, he picked up a white-haired kid at home. Since he hurt my hair, I have never been close to him.Afterwards, there were more and more children in the yard, and the man started a private school, and I heard they all called him Songyang.

Listen, listen, I wanted to give it a try, so one night, I ran to the table in front of Songyang, looked into his eyes, and called out "Songyang."

Songyang looked a little surprised, and a little surprised, he asked me: "Are you a monster?"

What's that?I have no idea.Songyang began to explain to me, he talked to me a lot, and my words gradually became fluent, and Songyang taught me how to read and write, but I was very bad at it.I am a cat, what do you learn from those?

Songyang told me that he had seen me before, a long time ago, probably decades ago.At that time, he was different from now, with red eyes. "Then why haven't you grown old?" I asked, Songyang looked at me, and asked me, "Haven't you grown up?" "Then we are immortal monster colleagues." I tapped my paw on Songyang's hand Knocked, indicating an alliance.He smiled and said yes.

Songyang told me a lot about when he saw me before, that is, my affairs. I vaguely remembered some scenes, which were very depressing and sad. At that time, Songyang had a very bad life. .I asked Songyang, do you know the feeling of death?I don't know, I just know it hurts.He said that he didn't know, he only knew the pain.I thought about it, and said that as a reward, Songyang, I will kill you in the future, and I will bestow death on you.He smiled and said, it's really a special kindness, but he is very strong, I can't kill him.I said it doesn't matter, I will become stronger, as long as it takes many years, I will be able to kill him.

The door of his room was opened, and a child asked Songyang who he was talking to with his head poking around.As I remember, his name was Shinsuke Takasugi.I meowed and jumped onto Songyang's shoulder. "I'm chatting with Xiao Hei." Songyang scratched my chin and said.

In the private school in Songyang, there is a little boy with long hair who is super annoying. He wants to catch me and pinch my meatballs every day, but his hair-plucking skills are so bad that he has to pluck out a few hairs every time, which hurts. I give him a paw unceremoniously every time.I still prefer Songyang's technique, which is gentle and soft, and makes me purr every time.

I know what happened around Songyang, and my beastly sixth sense tells me that something is going to happen.One night, Songyang came back to the room and said to me, Xiao Hei, you go, something is going to happen, you are too weak, you can't even protect yourself.You must not get caught, you go away.I stood up, flicked my tail, brushed past Songyang's ankle, and walked straight to the door.

"Don't you even say goodbye? It really is a cat, very fickle." Songyang laughed behind me.I clawed at the door and flicked my tail again. "Don't forget to accept my gratitude one day." Then, I left.

I know that all I have to do now is to become stronger.There are wars everywhere around me. I wanted to go to the battlefield to receive experience, but my claws and teeth are still weak, and my body is too small. Songyang said that I am still a kitten.I was always injured on the battlefield, but I couldn't do anything, so I had no choice but to retreat to the mountains, to beat birds and mice, and to practice hunting skills.

After a period of time like this, one day, I practiced killing a poisonous snake, but I was accidentally bitten by it.We fought to the death for a while, and finally I bit it to death, but its poison also exploded on me.I am only immortal, and my wounds heal quickly, but I am not immune to poisons and medicines at all. I will fall down once I am hit. No matter how many times I use it, I will not develop resistance to medicines, but I will not have any sequelae and side effects.

I know that I can't just fall down in the mountains and forests, I don't want to roll in some animal's stomach acid for no reason and come back to life again.I stumbled and ran out until I was exhausted and collapsed.

When I woke up again, I heard a girl's voice saying: "Mr. Xiao, look here is a little black cat, there is a lot of blood on her body!" I opened my eyes, and saw a girl with short hair, looking Looking at me worriedly.She stretched out her hand, as if she wanted to hug me.I arched my body and made menacing noises at her.

"Don't be afraid, I just want to bandage you up." She said softly.She looks a bit like Songyang, if Songyang still has red eyes now, then she looks more like her.I thought about it and chose to obey.

The wound on my body has healed a long time ago, but the blood has not been licked off.The girl searched my body for a long time but couldn't find the wound, and finally wiped my hair clean with a wet towel.I flicked my tail and left, and the next day I caught a fat chickadee, delivered it to her door, jumped up a tree, and started watching their reactions.

"Xiao Zong, Xiao Zong, come and see! It's the cat's repayment! That little black cat is so powerful!" The girl cried happily, and I yawned. silk happy.I must be better now than before, and I can help that girl who looks a bit like Songyang.

Because that girl is here, I decided to stay here a little longer.I know her name is Mitsuha Okita, and the kid next to her is Sougo Okita. Besides, I have also seen a long-haired boy named Toshiro Hijikata, and a long-haired boy who opened a dojo very anxiously. The youth is called Kondo Hoon.

Occasionally, I would go to Sanye to beg for food, and catch a small prey the next day as a reward.I think I just miss Songyang's craftsmanship a little bit, and I don't want to drink blood every day.The way Sanye strokes her hair is very similar to that of Songyang, and it can also make me purr uncontrollably. Compared with her, her younger brother, the long-haired boy, and the anxious young man with long hair can hardly be seen.Each of them has eaten my paw attack.

I haven't talked to anyone, because Songyang said that before I am strong enough, I must not talk to others, it will scare others and hurt myself.

Sanye's younger brother sometimes looked at me pitifully, and finally one time I couldn't stand it any longer, and walked up to him and showed my belly.Well, for the sake of having a good sister.

This kid has started practicing swordsmanship, and I can see that he will be a good hand.I saw how they exercised in the dojo, and saw their obvious progress. I really wanted to practice with them, but I only had four claws, and it was a very small one, so I couldn't do anything.I was a little sad and thought, if only I had two hands like a human being.

As a result, one day I woke up from the mountains, and when I opened my eyes, I found that I really had a hand.I went to the lake to take pictures, and found that I looked like a savage, but also a monster. In short, it was definitely scary.But I am still very happy, I practiced repeatedly to become a human and a cat, and finally, I can move freely.I'm glad, I think, that I can go one step further.

I decided not to go back to Mitsuha's again, so I headed in another direction.It's a pity that even if I become a human, my cat form is still a bit smaller, its claws are not sharp, and its teeth are soft, so it can still only catch small things.So I started to work hard on the human form and became a bandit.

At that time, I didn't have a name. After all, no normal person would ask the bandits who hijacked them what your name is.

Later, when the war was over, I thought that hanging around here would not make me any stronger, so I might as well go to some new places.So, I thought of going to heaven, going to the universe, and looking for a more powerful opponent.Because I had no money, I chose smuggling and fare evasion. Although there are many people in heaven and earth, no one has ever seen a species that can change back and forth between humans and kittens.

But once, I still missed.I was blocked by the security personnel on the spaceship and asked to see my credentials.But I have never had a document in my life.They said, let's make a record, and ask me what my name is.I saw a passenger next to me holding a magazine in his hand, and the opened page happened to introduce Chen Luo, one of the three major mercenary races in the universe.Chen Luo's two characters were written very big, so I said, my name is Chen Luo.

Thanks to Songyang for forcing me to learn to read and write.

The man holding the magazine closed the magazine at once, and looked at me with piercing eyes, "Are you really Chen Luo? Then fight with me, I'm strong." I saw that he had long pink hair. Hair and beautiful blue eyes.

When someone makes an appointment to fight, I naturally go to the appointment happily. If there is a chance to become stronger, why should I let it go?I got into a fight with him and nearly demolished a waiting room.That guy is really powerful, the strength of his strikes is unbelievably heavy, if it weren't for my immortality, I would probably have died seven or eight times already.I'm excited because I've never had a good fight in human form.

That was the first time I released my ears, tail and nails and teeth, and I found that they were much harder than in my cat form, like a row of daggers.I am very excited, I think, I can kill Songyang.

Halfway through our fight, a group of celestial beings rushed in with a bunch of guns, knives, and cannons, saying that a Chen Luo and a Yetu were causing trouble.He grabbed me, knocked out the window and fled.It was bulletproof glass, and he shattered it with just one kick.

Since then, I have become friends with him.I also know that his name is Shenwei, and he is the night rabbit who is the head of the three major races.Because he is very concerned about who is stronger, Chen Luo or Ye Tu, that's why he shot at me, but it's a pity that I'm not Chen Luo.But because I am strong, he was very happy to know me.He also asked me what happened to my ear tails and why they healed so fast.

In fact, compared to when I was a cat, this healing speed has been very slow.I explained to him my identity as a cat demon, I also explained that I was immortal, and I turned back into a cat and greeted him.My instinct was that he wouldn't care, and he wouldn't be intimidated.

Sure enough, he wasn't intimidated at all, he just found it interesting.He didn't believe that I couldn't be beaten to death, so he often hit me hard.Although he was shorter than me at that time (I was already 1.7 meters when I became a human), but he was better at fighting than me, and his strength was much stronger than me, and he could break a few bones every time. .

I didn't get along with him for a long time, but he forced me to grow up quickly, and I was able to fight him evenly.In addition, he forced me to learn how to cook from scratch.Whenever I was doomed to lose, I would offer to cook for him to make sure he wouldn't give me a few more punches.Lying on the ground waiting for the bones to reset is really a painful thing.

In addition, as a brat, he actually urged me to get married, saying that maybe there would be a stronger child.Damn, I just look better in human form, but my body is still a little milk cat, okay?I'm not sexually mature at all!My son, your uncle, my son!

Every day when I was with Shenwei, I was always asking about his ancestors, how did he teach the children and lead them so crookedly?They should really learn from Songyang how to educate their children.

Later, he got involved with pirates, which I don't like, and he has a bitter deputy, every time he complains to me that the practice room we demolished is really difficult to repair, I decided Let's go back to Earth.Maybe I can find Songyang after I go back and let him see if I can kill him now.

Shenwei said goodbye to me with a regretful face, and said that if he must come to fight with him again in the future, if he can't find someone strong enough for too long, he will be lonely, and the rabbit will die if he is too lonely.

Your rabbit is lonely, what does it matter to my cat?I gave him a blank look, and returned to Earth with the ticket he paid for.