Ambiguous addiction

Ye Xi felt that he must be a little dazed by earning money, which is why he lost control of his emotions so easily. As long as he is close to Lu Churan, Lu Churan is his tranquilizer and painkiller, as long as he is close to those twisted and depressed people The bad temper will subside.

He waited until the traffic light turned green, walked across the road to Lu Churan, his face flushed with abnormal drunkenness, tried to stay in place, opened his eyes wide and looked at Lu Churan steadily, his eyes were like It looked like a small animal rescued from a cage, with a moist luster.

He gently stretched out his hand and touched Lu Churan's arm, he went down the arm and held his wrist, he could slightly feel his steady pulse, and the manic and clamoring resentment in his heart gradually fell asleep It seemed quiet.

Lu Churan met his wet and soft eyes, and the thought of beating him up immediately dissipated, and the sullen anger melted into tenderness in an instant.

He stroked Ye Xi's hair with pity, covered his reddened ears, then withdrew his hand, and asked him softly, "Where did you go?"

"I'm going to meet a client for entertainment." Ye Xi replied honestly, his eyes fell on Lu Churan's face greedily, and the afterglow of the setting sun caressed his handsome outline softly, making him look extraordinarily warm. Looking at his stomach, he said, "I've been drinking, and my stomach hurts a little now, can I cook porridge tonight?"

"Okay, let's go home then." Lu Churan wrapped her arms around his shoulders, calmly turned her eyes away from his eyes, walked into the building with him, took the elevator to the basement floor to pick up the car .

Ye Xi didn't say much on the way home. He was nestled in the passenger seat in a half-curled up position, covering his stomach with one hand, and holding the phone in the other hand to concentrate on playing, even breathing. They all played very softly, staying docilely and quietly within Lu Churan's reach.

A few times when Lu Churan was waiting for the light, he thought he was asleep, and when he touched his face, he would consciously rub Lu Churan's palm a few times to express his response.

After returning home, the sky just darkened, and when the blue-gray twilight fell, the house was lit with warm honey-colored lights. Lu Churan quickly washed vegetables, cut meat and cooked porridge, but it didn’t take long for it to be cooked. A large bowl of hot food is placed on the table.

Ye Xi gulped down a large bowl of steaming porridge, his body became warm, a thin layer of sweat appeared on his neck, and he kept sniffing his nose to get a runny nose.

Lu Churan watched his appetite calmly, his eyes were darker than before, he took out a tissue and pinched Ye Xi's nose, and suddenly suggested, "Shall we go to play at Christmas, go to a meeting In countries where it snows, if you don’t have time to apply for a visa, you can go to the Northeast nearby, didn’t you say that the Northeast dialect is very interesting?”

Ye Xi blew his nose at his actions, hesitated for a few seconds, then shook his head with a smile, "No, I still have to work, next time."

"I'm so busy working all day that I don't have time to rest, aren't you tired?"

Ye Xi paused in scooping up the porridge, put down the spoon, got up from the seat, bent down and hugged Lu Churan who was sitting next to him, and shook his head again, as if arching against his neck , Lu Churan's face was itchy from scratching her hair.

You are the best person to me in the world, I can bear no matter how tired I am for you, as long as you don't leave me.do not leave Me.

Ye Xi thought so in his heart, but the words got stuck in his throat and he couldn't speak.

"Can't you stay with me?" Lu Churan pinched the back of his neck, "Don't you want to cling to me more?"

"In the future, I can stay with you for as long as I want." Ye Xi muttered softly, and the warm breath he exhaled swept Lu Churan's neck when he spoke.

"You stink to death. You smell like alcohol and tobacco. Go take a shower after eating, and I'll put hot water for you." Lu Churan lifted the half-drunk Ye Xi away from her arms by the collar, then turned and walked into the room. Put hot water in the bathroom for him to take a bath.

He squatted by the bathtub and looked at the hot water rising slowly, feeling inexplicably blocked in his heart, and no matter how he thought about it, he felt that something was wrong. If Ye Xi had made up his mind to immigrate secretly without telling him, he would not have reacted like this at all, he would definitely In order to compensate himself, he will lower his posture, no matter what request he makes to him, he will do his best to cooperate.

After Ye Xi finished his porridge, he put the bowl in the sink and went to take a bath. The injury on his hand has healed a lot now. Although he still can't get wet, it can be done with some simple treatment, and he doesn't need to bandage it like a pig's hand anymore. .

After washing the dishes, Lu Churan walked into the bathroom to look at him, wanting to rub some shower gel bubbles for him, but found that he was lying in the bathtub and fell asleep, and the hand resting on the edge of the bathtub slipped into the water unconsciously, The gauze wrapped over it was soaked with water.

Lu Churan quickly grabbed his hand out of the water, took out the clean gauze and tape from the spare medicine box, and gently unwrapped the original bandage, without disturbing the sleeping person at all.

Lu Churan held Ye Xi's hand, and the gauze loosened round and round, gradually revealing the scars hidden inside, the surface of the wound scratched by the broken glass turned slightly white, and a tender pink bruise grew deep inside. Although the skin has begun to heal, it still looks fragile and hideous, like a good baby that was broken in his palm.

Lu Churan looked at the wound in disbelief, took a slight breath, and then a feeling of pain penetrated into his chest from the breath, the stinging pain made his eye sockets astringent, and he couldn't help holding Ye Xi's hand. trembling.

He carefully re-bandaged Ye Xi, rubbed some shower gel to wash the person who was drowsily asleep in the warm water in the bathtub, and finally had to help him out of the water to wake him up.

"...I accidentally fell asleep." Ye Xi yawned, rubbed his eyes, stretched his legs into his trousers, put his hands out of the sleeves of his pajamas, put his arms around Lu Churan's neck and waited for him Actions.

"Well, go to bed early tonight." Lu Churan picked him up and put him on the bed, and when he was about to cover him with the quilt, Ye Xi held his hand to stop his movement, exerting a little force Pulling him towards him, he stretched out the tip of his tongue and licked Lu Churan's Adam's apple, his breath was filled with his gentle and reassuring taste.

He held the palm of Lu Churan's back, leading him to touch the sensitive part of his body, raised his head and pressed his soft lips to him, closed his eyes and kissed his lips emotionally, tossing and turning, inseparable.

At this moment, Lu Churan suddenly took his hand back and came out of his clothes, leaving his lips, staring at his eyes darkly and deeply, "Ye Xi, before we continue, please tell me , how did you get the injury on your hand?"

Ye Xi was stunned when he heard his words, and his heart began to feel guilty and beating wildly. He opened his eyes and faced Lu Churan's gaze and dared not speak. The phone suddenly vibrated next to his pillow, shaking continuously There were almost seven or eight blows.

Lu Churan was interrupted, so she propped herself up from Ye Xi, turned her face and glanced at the screen that was about to go dark, seeing the latest news crowded on the screen, her expression froze.

【Want to swallow you】

【Reward me for being rough, okay】

Ye Xi followed his line of sight, the corners of his eyes twitched, and when he was about to throw the phone away, Lu Churan choked his wrist hard and pressed it against the mattress. His face darkened in an instant, the anger in his eyes was ready to go out, and he subconsciously suppressed his breathing.

Lu Churan quickly snatched his mobile phone, entered the password to unlock it, and opened WeChat. He had a panoramic view of all the unread messages with the contact "Yan Qian".

【baby】

【I can not sleep】

【Come to my house tonight】

【I miss you so much】

[I haven't found anyone else recently]

【I have been waiting for you】

【Thinking of you makes me hungry】

【Want to swallow you】

【Reward me for being rough, okay】

[[Picture] (a topless selfie lying on the bed)]

With just a few pieces of continuous bombing news, Lu Churan seemed to find an outlet for the accumulated doubts in his heart.

Why are you obsessed with work, why are you always playing with your mobile phone, why are your emotions fluctuating, and why are you hurting yourself.

It turns out that all the recent anomalies are due to relapse.

Ye Xi tried to snatch the phone from his hand and throw it into the corner, but Lu Churan snatched it back with one hand, pinned him on the bed, stared at his eyes gloomyly, his eyes were as dim as a deep pool, He tried his best to suppress the rage that was about to erupt, "If I remember correctly, this is the person who came to sleep with you on the first day you moved here."

Ye Xi didn't deny it, and looked at the furious Lu Churan in horror. He was fixed on the bed by the other party's actions and couldn't move. His heart started beating wildly, stirring up all the remaining alcohol in his blood and straight into his head. rush.

He didn't really want to cheat, how could he cheat, what he hated the most in his life was the cheater, it was precisely because he hated betrayal and abandonment that he was so resistant to being trapped in love until he got Lu Churan's sincerity The treatment is irresistible.

All he thinks in his heart is to earn more money and take Lu Churan away from this troublesome place earlier, but it just so happens that the fastest way to make money he knows is to find these ambiguous, rich and brainless people Just kid.

He would not be so stupid as to really exchange his body, but he just used some ambiguous and ambiguous jokes to coax people, but he didn't expect to be judged by Lu Churan at this time.

Lu Churan couldn't get his answer, and her voice became deeper, with indignant and puzzled emotions emerging, "Is being ambiguous so important? More important than me?"

"This person is just a client." Ye Xi felt that his throat was stuck, and it seemed that he couldn't make a sound when he spoke. He tried his best to break away from the red wrist that was strangled by Lu Churan, sat up from the bed, and straightened Looking at him, the voice barely remained calm, "I said, he is just a client, don't you believe me?"

"How do you want me to believe you?" Lu Churan asked him back, smiling angrily, showing a complex and weird expression on his face, he lifted Ye Xi from the bed by the collar, his tone Gloomy, with a hint of danger, "What client would tell his investment advisor at night, 'Baby, I can't sleep'? 'I want to eat you'?"

Ye Xi only felt that the matter was so far beyond words, he couldn't say anything, he kept trembling under Lu Churan's stare, his face turned paler and paler.

It was as if a tight string in his mind was broken, and the despair hanging in the air suddenly lost its support and poured down overwhelmingly to drown him.

He knew that Lu Churan would regret it one day, and he already knew that the result would be like this. There are many people who like Lu Churan, and he is not bad at all. Now that Tao Jiayue is back, there is nothing wrong with him. Under their own noses, they secretly made Chen Cang's connection broken, staged a bloody drama of resurgence of old feelings, and then he became cannon fodder and could retire.

A gentleman must have the beauty of an adult. Although no one has ever taught him this truth, he still understands it.

It turns out that everyone's past is tied up with the future.

Lu Churan was obsessed with the people he loved obsessively, while he himself was shackled in the repeated self-proof of being abandoned.

Ye Xi suddenly felt exhausted like never before at this moment. He was tired. He played a happy face in front of Lu Churan every day, and lost self-control behind him like a psycho, just to prevent him from worrying and disappointing him. So fucking tired.

He has been corroded by loneliness and inferiority to tatters, no matter what he can't be happy, and he doesn't know how to be satisfied. He is just a loveless monster with a perverted desire for monopoly. No matter how much effort he puts in, it will be futile in the end. It can be returned to its original shape casually.

Since loving someone is so hard, then don't love me, since love is so hopeless, then no one should come to love me.

Thinking of this, Ye Xi suddenly calmed down.

He raised his eyes and looked at Lu Churan, his eyes were cloudy, cold and dark, and his voice was as cold as ice and snow melting into muddy water, which made him feel extremely disgusted.

"I like the new and hate the old, and I am addicted to flirting. Now I am bound by you, and I have to worry about gains and losses all day long. I am too tired and bored to death. I love you so much that I disgust myself. I don't want to love you anymore. I'm relaxed and happy, I take the initiative to throw myself into my arms, and I don't have to be responsible, why should I refuse?"

"What do you mean?" Lu Churan roared angrily, his eyes seemed to burst into flames, his heart was burning, and he couldn't believe what he heard, "You test me? Just want to see if I'm irritated by you Can't bear the temptation of others to break up with you?"

"Admit it, Lu Churan, you don't love me at all, but you spend a lot of time on me and take good care of me, so you think you love me very much, no matter how much I make you hate, you want to be responsible for me In the end." Ye Xi sneered as if he didn't understand his words, his throat tightened, and he continued on his own, "It's a pity that things backfired, no matter how much I love you and thank you, the world won't be moved together. Everyone will only think that people like me are not worthy of you, so I am tired of it, and I don’t want to stick to it anymore. I am so hopeless, don’t think you can save me, you have no obligation, you can Can't do it."

Lu Churan and him faced each other in silence for 3 minutes, as if time had frozen, and neither of them said another sharp word to stab each other.

"Then you go." Lu Churan suddenly let go of his grip on his collar, the anger in his eyes suddenly extinguished, and deep disappointment ignited, Ye Xi slightly opened his eyes wide, as if confirming himself hear the words.

Lu Churan looked at him flatly, as unemotionally as when he first saw him, without anger or sorrow, "Since you are so uncomfortable being with me, I will only torture you if I keep you That's all, let's go."

Ye Xi was stunned, got off the bed without saying a word, picked up his mobile phone, took out his wallet, and ran out of Lu Churan's house without his keys, wearing slippers.

When he opened the door, there was a cold wind blowing in the corridor outside, like a nocturnal monster howling in the dark night. As soon as he let go, the door was pulled shut forcefully by the wind, making a loud "bang" One sound.

Lu Churan sat on the edge of the bed numbly, heard the sound of the door slamming, and began to wait, waiting for Ye Xi to regret and return to his door, it was enough to look at him without saying a word, and he would Stand up and hug him tightly, kiss his lips, and say to him "I'm sorry, I was wrong, I believe you whatever you say, don't go".

But he sat until dawn, and there was still no movement outside, and the door was still empty, only the dawn that came silently and alternately with the night.

Then he realized that Ye Xi didn't want to come back, nor would he come back.