Ambiguous addiction

For ten full days.After Ye Xi's hand was injured, he insisted on going to work for ten days, and he didn't rest until the day that was two weeks before Christmas.

Every day, Lu Churan sent Ye Xi to the door of the company, kissed him and watched him get out of the car, and then he stood on the edge of the road and waved to the people in the car, waiting for Lu Churan like a puppy sending his master to work. I was willing to leave only after the car disappeared from sight.

Ye Xi recently returned home a lot later than before, but he was able to get home before twelve o'clock in the middle of the night. Every time, he smelled so strong of alcohol and tobacco that Lu Churan felt his eyes were hot, but Lu Churan felt that his eyes were hot. Chu Ran never once touched a cigarette in his clothes, and the expression on his face was still terrified, with a kind of luck that "you can't help me if you don't get used to me".

Even though he worked all day from morning to night, Ye Xi's face did not seem to show a tired expression at all. When Lu Churan gave him a bath, he still looked refreshed and looked at Lu Churan. Ran talking about the idiot I met today, and singing in a good mood while blowing his hair, making a lot of noise like taking a stimulant.

The injury on his hand has almost recovered. When he accompanied him to the hospital twice to change the dressing and bandage, Lu Churan wanted to secretly go to his medical records to see how the injury on his hand was caused. But his thoughts seemed to be read by Ye Xi, and he deliberately hid the medical records in a place where he couldn't find them, and only appeared out of thin air when he was at the entrance of the hospital.

Last night Lu Churan hugged Ye Xi and was reading on the bed. Ye Xi was leaning on his chest and concentrating on playing with his mobile phone. Suddenly, he said something out of line, "Ah, it's so fun to earn money."

Lu Churan's eyes moved away from the words in the book, and fell into the eyes of Ye Xi who was looking at him, "Really?"

"Yeah, every day when I open my eyes, I just think, 'I can make money again today', and then I feel very motivated to do anything, and I don't even have the desire to stay in bed."

When Ye Xi spoke, the smile in his eyes was indeed as bright as the twinkling stars, but for some reason, Lu Churan felt that there was another kind of longing in it, not the happiness of making money that he talked about.

He always felt that Ye Xi had deliberately put on such a stance in front of him recently that he was content with whatever he wanted, but in fact, he was supporting something else by himself, something he didn't know.

Sometimes Lu Churan would sneak a look at Ye Xi when he wasn't looking at him, and when he found himself out of his sight, he would quietly show a very tangled expression of deep thinking.

Lu Churan really wanted to ask him, "Did you encounter any problems?" or "Are you afraid of something?", but every time Lu Churan walked into his safe range, , he quickly came back to his senses, tried his best to release a pure and harmless smile to Lu Churan, and stretched out his arms to wait for his hug.

After accompanying him to the hospital to change his dressing for the last time, Lu Churan sent him to the gate of the company again, and then drove back to "tobecontinued".

The weather has been gloomy for several days, and today it cleared up again, showing a soft light blue against the morning sun.

Ji Er is trying to drink several new varieties of coffee beans sent by others, and intends to write an article to write a review for a magazine. He Shen is next to him using a computer to make energy-saving renovations for a design project.

Ji'er poured the black coffee in the pot into a small espresso cup and handed it to Lu Churan, "This kind of bean is medium-roasted and has a sweet taste, which is more suitable for people like you who don't like stimulation."

Lu Churan took a sip, and the slightly astringent brown liquid instantly melted into a sweet taste like a deep mountain and clear spring as it passed through the taste buds, and slid down his throat, "I don't know why, I always feel that, Ye Xi's hand will be injured, it's not because of the carelessness he said, it's because of some other reason."

Ji Er asked suspiciously: "Did he offend anyone?"

"Probably not." Lu Churan said, "I don't think anyone particularly hates him. To be precise, he looks harmless to humans and animals outside. He can chat with everyone but never There is no one who is too close to anyone, who particularly likes him or who particularly hates him."

"I think if you really want to know if there is another hidden story, you can ask his colleagues. It was only four o'clock when you called him that day and heard that he went to the hospital. Normally, he is still at work. Time, if he was working in a company, how could he be injured suddenly? His colleagues should know the reason." Ji Er thought for a while, and then added, "But it doesn't seem good to encourage you to ask your colleagues. You can see for yourself. Just do it, don't say it was my idea."

"I think you should ask." He Shen suddenly raised his head from the computer screen to look at Lu Churan, "I remember when you told us in Japan that Ye Xi's growth experience was a bit complicated, I think his psychological The situation is not stable."

Lu Churan asked, "What do you mean?"

"That is to say, people have a self-defense mechanism. This concept seems to be proposed by Freud. When a person is pressured or threatened by the external environment, he will form defense and mediation at the subconscious level." He Shen After a pause for a few seconds, looking at Lu Churan's expression of enlightenment, he said, "So a person like him who has gone through a bumpy journey should not have a bad mental capacity, and he has a way to solve his anxiety. I can't bear it myself, so I shouldn't make a decision to hurt myself."

"This is also the most contradictory part in my heart. He looks very happy every day, but I always feel that his high mood now is different from before." Lu Churan nodded knowingly, "I'd better ask Just ask."

Ji Er also agreed, "Then you go, we can just stay here at night."

Evening twilight came earlier and earlier, and by the time Ye Xi got off work, Luohui had already cast light on half the city.

Lu Churan went directly to his company to look for him. The female colleague who graduated from university recognized Lu Churan at a glance, and said in surprise, "Aren't you Ye Xi's roommate?"

Lu Churan responded calmly and gently, "Well, is Ye Xi there?"

The colleague was stunned, thinking his question was very strange, "Ye Xi hasn't come to work since he smashed the mirror in the bathroom that day, don't you know?"

Lu Churan was taken aback for a moment, then slightly opened his eyes slightly in astonishment and asked, "You said he smashed the mirror in the bathroom?"

"Yeah, he spilled blood on his hand, which scared us all. He later paid the property management company money to install a new mirror. So you didn't know, maybe he didn't tell you because he was worried about you. "After the colleague finished speaking, he remembered something, went to Ye Xi's seat and picked up a document on his desk, "He hasn't come to work for a few days, but an immigration company sent the documents over today , the recipient wrote his name. I didn’t know that he had the tendency to immigrate before, but the prospect of our industry is not very good now. Many companies have laid off employees, and many people have changed their careers and immigrated to other countries. It might not be a way out. Do you want to take the information back for Ye Xi?"

Lu Churan has not yet digested and reacted from so much information. If Ye Xi's hand injury was caused by himself, then he refused to speak in the hospital but showed a panic and helpless expression. It makes sense.

But what about the tendency to immigrate, what trouble did he get into again, and is he trying to run away without telling me?

Lu Churan lowered his head and glanced at the documents in his colleague's hand. It was indeed sent by the immigration company. "No need. Since he sent it back, the company probably didn't want to take it home. Just put it where he came to pick it up."

The female colleague in front of him still wanted to talk to him, but was suddenly interrupted by a voice, "Lu Churan, why are you here?"

Lu Churan turned to look at Tao Jiayue who came out of the manager's office, remembering that Ye Xi had become emotionally abnormal since Tao Jiayue appeared, her expression subconsciously became serious, "I'm here to find Ye Xi."

"Oh, that's right, he doesn't seem to be here today." Tao Jiayue didn't seem to feel cold, and looked at Lu Churan with a warm smile, "If you have nothing else, let's go downstairs together."

Lu Churan had nothing to do, so he followed Tao Jiayue to the elevator, and was silent while waiting for the elevator, and there was no trace of any expression change on his face, as if there was a wall of glass blocking the two of them.

After the two entered the elevator, Tao Jiayue looked at Lu Churan silently for a while, then turned her gaze to the electronic screen of the elevator with numbers constantly jumping down, and then said with some emotion: "You are very unhappy with him, right? Your smile is much less than before."

Lu Churan was silent for a few seconds as if he hadn't heard it. The elevator stopped and slowly opened the door. Lu Churan looked at the scenery slowly unfolding in his eyes and said calmly, "Leave the smile to him." One person is enough, in exchange for his tears."

Lu Churan and Tao Jiayue parted at the gate of Ye Xi's company. Tao Jiayue was picked up by a driver, and Lu Churan's car was parked in the parking lot on the first floor. It's just that he doesn't want to leave now, he wants to do anything else If he didn't come out, he wanted to drag Ye Xi out and beat him up first.

Ye Xi met a few clients at noon and signed a few forms. He knows how much he can drink. Usually, he will consciously control himself not to overdose when others persuade him to drink. But recently, the situation is more urgent, and he has no time to think about it. As long as he can sign more A list, he can drink as much as he is given.

So before he finished his lunch, he was so drunk that he ran to vomit twice, and the acid water in his stomach poured up from the esophagus, and the hole-like stomach was tangled in pain like a rag that had been washed hundreds of times. Together.

He emptied his stomach and finally woke up a little bit. He silently counted how far he was from earning enough for investment immigration. He stood up against the wall and went outside to wipe the snot and tears off his face. Put on a calm look in the mirror.

He rolled up his sleeves and looked at his watch. When he went out today, he told Lu Churan that he could go home for dinner in the evening, and it was almost time for Lu Churan to pick him up from get off work.

The hotel where he had a social event was only a few kilometers away from the company, so he staggered away from the hotel and walked towards the company, lit a cigarette to get rid of the bitter taste in his mouth, after smoking a few cigarettes one after another, he put the whole The pack of cigarettes was thrown into the trash can.

When he walked all the way to the road opposite the company, he was gradually able to walk in a straight line, not that he was particularly ugly drunk, standing on the sidewalk and looking at the traffic lights opposite the zebra crossing with slight ghosting.

Then he raised his eyes and vaguely saw Lu Churan walking out with Tao Jiayue from the door of the company. The scene of the two walking side by side was immediately fixed in his sight, and his half-drunk consciousness flashed in an instant Fully awake.

When Lu Churan was about to look in his direction, he subconsciously ran into the nearest phone booth to hide. He didn't know why he ran, and he ran in such a mess.

His eyes suddenly became sore and he started to feel hot. The phone in his hand rang almost at the same time. He looked at the caller ID on the phone screen, his hands trembling all the time, unable to hold the phone steadily, and his breathing was very rapid, like an asthma attack. Difficulty breathing like a sick person.

Ye Xi raised his hand and slapped himself hard on the face, took a deep breath with all his strength to force himself to calm down, and then the vibrating mobile phone in his hand went silent, and after a few tens of seconds, it started to vibrate again.

Ye Xi peeked out from the phone booth and saw Lu Churan was still standing at the door of their company with a phone in his hand. He walked out slowly, dialed his finger on the screen and answered the phone. Usually a lot lower, "Have you got off work? Where are you now?"

He walked back to the back of the zebra crossing, waved to the people in the distance, and tried his best to smile, with red lips and white teeth, and a cheerful look, "Look at the opposite side of you."