Ambiguous addiction

The gloomy weather lasted for several days, and the rich autumn atmosphere permeated every inch of the city. The sky was blue and clear, and its reflection was on the clean floor.

The news from the China Securities Regulatory Commission has not yet been released, but the index of Ye Xi's project still fell slightly due to the shock of the entire stock market. He got all the funds out as soon as possible, and then started to deal with the part that lost money due to loopholes.

He deliberately asked for two days off, cleaned his house casually, moved the pot of green plants to the balcony of Lu Churan's house, packed up all the things that could be packed at home and put them in the suitcase, and they can be refunded in full after counting Please contact the moving company to move the furniture you want.

He secretly did these things while Lu Churan was at work. He was restless thinking about these things during the day, and at night he was anxious about filling the loopholes in the funds. He had been unable to sleep for several nights. .

Ye Xi sat on the smoke gray sofa in the lobby on the first floor and looked at the moving porters. He remembered that it was the same place a few months ago, and it was here that he and Lu Churan met. However, he is so lofty and ruthless that he doesn't even bother to look at him more.

Thinking of this, he looked at the time, and before he knew it, it was already noon. Lu Churan had a class in the morning and only went to "tobecontinued" to look at the shop in the afternoon. It was the time between classes, so he dialed the phone up.

Lu Churan's voice trickled into his ears like warm water, "Ye Xi."

"It's me... Is get out of class over?"

"Just finished class." Lu Churan had a lot of chatter, probably standing in the corridor outside the classroom, "Are you hungry, kid?"

What a kid, Ye Xi felt very offended by this title, but he still couldn't help but shudder a bit. After all, he is a 25-year-old 1.8-meter-tall horse whose head can reach the door frame when he jumps... a kid.

"In your eyes, I only look for you when I'm hungry. I'm not your dog." The next elevator arrived, and the worker lifted out Ye Xi's solid wood locker from inside. He opened his face, licked his lips embarrassingly, and lowered his voice as if afraid that others would overhear him, "I miss you."

"Well," Lu Churan only responded with a single tone, but Ye Xi could tell that the tone was emotional, "Come over to the restaurant for dinner."

"Not today, I still have a lot of work to do." The furniture has to be refunded later, and the real estate agency called him and said that he had contacted the client to come to see the house, "I don't know what time it is after I'm done .”

"It's okay, I'll leave the food for you, come over when you're done, and I'll make steamed egg custard for you."

Ye Xi lowered his head and rubbed his suddenly sore nose, and felt reluctant to hang up the phone, which may be the sequelae of insomnia, "Okay, then I'll go to work first."

Not long after Ye Xi filled out the online refund procedures and submitted them, the real estate agent brought the client to his door, and he quickly took the key and went downstairs from Lu Churan's house to open the door for him.

The person who came to see the house was about the same age as Ye Xi. He was about to get married and wanted to buy a second-hand house as a wedding room. He could pay in one lump sum, but the banquet hadn’t been held yet, so he wanted to reserve some money for the banquet. Bargain with him, want to cut 150 million into 120 million.

Ye Xi was originally a person who was not particularly sympathetic to other people's misfortune because he was used to it, and now that he was short of money, so whenever he was bargaining, he would look sleepy, with a look of "no nonsense, no love." Buy it or not, who cares what you do?" The expression did not mean to discuss and give in at all.

150 million is cut into 120 million, a full 30. Do you think it’s buying cabbage for one piece and five pieces for one piece and two.

Ye Xi was unwilling to lower the price, but he was eager to sell the house for money. The other party felt that his price was too high, but the house was very desirable, and they refused to compromise.

Seeing that they were about to break up unhappy, but in the end, under the coordination of the intermediary, one person took a step back and made a deal of 130 million. After Ye Xi went through the formalities with the intermediary, the money arrived in the account.

He went to the bank by the way, and transferred all the money of the people who invested in his project back to them with interest. It will arrive tomorrow, and the interest rate will still be the 14% exaggerated in the original contract.

After repaying all the money, the 130 million yuan is less than 20 yuan, but as long as the online refund is processed, there will be another sum of money. That amount is enough to pay a few months' rent.

The work efficiency of the people in the bank has been slow for ten years. Ye Xi waited for them to dawdle and get everything done. It was already three o'clock in the afternoon, and he came to "tobecontinued" under the dappled sunlight.

Lu Churan was sitting at the corner table with his back to the door, drinking coffee while preparing lessons on his laptop.

Ye Xi stared at his back fascinatedly, and his mind wandered for a while. He didn't know whether he was giving up on himself or seeking warmth. Sometimes he felt that every day was like the end, and sometimes he felt that there might be a future. .

He has no mentality of worrying about gains and losses, because he never feels that he has gained or possessed anything.

He approached from behind Lu Churan, and saw a few girls looking at Lu Churan intently from a distance, he bent down and leaned over, and glanced at the girls sitting inside who were staring at them and then winking and secretly smiling at each other. He whispered in his ear, "Brother, I'm here."

"Who is your brother? Did you call him?" Lu Churan didn't even raise his eyes, but touched his face accurately with his hand. The group of girls exclaimed in a low voice, and secretly raised their mobile phones I want to take a picture of this pair of men who are eye-catching from appearance to figure to temperament, and their demeanor is a bit ambiguous.

With an audience, Ye Xi became even more unscrupulous, and changed his words nonchalantly by blowing in his ear, "Dad."

Lu Churan's ears turned red in an instant, "There are a lot of customers now, please pay attention to the impact, lady boss."

"...You, get out." Ye Xi paused, scolded him in a low voice, and couldn't help laughing, as bright as sunlight leaking in from the window.

Lu Churan closed the computer, got up and went to the kitchen, intending to warm up the food left for Ye Xi, and then make him a custard. Ye Xi followed behind him, and heard an old song playing in the music in the store.

Sometimes, sometimes, I will believe that everything has an end, meet and leave, sometimes, nothing lasts forever.

Yeah, nothing lasts forever.

The singing stopped abruptly the moment the kitchen door was closed. Ye Xi couldn't remember how to sing the last sentence. Lu Churan suddenly turned around in front of him and kissed him secretly on the lips. He closed his eyes and pressed hard. Kissed back.

When the kiss was over, Ye Xi's thoughts gathered again like a thick fog after the sun sets.

He embraced Lu Churan who was heating up the food from behind, his arms were tightly wrapped around his waist, his face was pressed against the back of his warm neck, Lu Churan's back and his chest were stuck together without any gap , his eyes began to heat up and spread a layer of moisture, he felt oppressed and uncomfortable, and the pain was so painful that he wanted to cry.

He thought that as long as the China Securities Regulatory Commission releases the news of deleveraging today, the stock will fall to a trading halt as soon as the market opens tomorrow, and then he will have no face to stay by Lu Churan's side anymore, because Lu Churan will find out that he is a The big liar who scammed his kid's education fund to nothing.

But he sold his house and paid back the money he cheated, so he and Lu Churan no longer owed each other anything, and he should leave him.

Because he didn't pay for anything other than money, he only had some worthless hypocrisy, and he couldn't even answer "I like you too" when Lu Churan said he liked him.

Life may be like this. When he has no money, he often sees what he wants to have the most. He is born without the ability to love, so he will meet the cutest person.

"Ye Xi?" Lu Churan brought out the hot food from the pot and called him.

"Huh?" He responded with a monotone, and touched Lu Churan's neck with his lips.

Lu Churan looked at his preoccupied look with concern, and felt that he was exhausted, "Go and drink water, your lips are turning white."

"Oh, good." Ye Xi smiled subconsciously, turned around and left the kitchen.

He silently counted in his heart what he would lose after leaving Lu Churan. He didn't care about losing at all, but when thinking about it, his tears fell into the water at the bottom of the cup, and he quickly lowered his head. The soft hair hung down to cover half of his face, and Lu Churan couldn't see his expression clearly.

Lu Churan arranged the bowls and chopsticks and leaned over in front of him, "Have you finished drinking the water, go wash your hands and eat."

"Oh, good." Ye Xi got up to wash his hands, then sat down at the dining table and began to eat.

Lu Churan feels that Ye Xi has become abnormally docile recently, as if Ye Xi completes an action as soon as he gives an instruction, it is more obedient than a strictly trained dog, and Ye Xi looks at him very carefully, lest his It seems that a certain sentence or certain action will cause dissatisfaction.

Lu Churan didn't know what he had done, how could he make this baby so frantic to please him, and this is not the look that lovers should have, lovers should be intimate and unscrupulous, right?

But it doesn't matter, his baby Ye Xi didn't understand love and didn't believe in love before, he didn't know how to deal with the relationship between lovers without experience, he can understand, he has been away from love for ten years, and he has almost forgotten it, It doesn't matter if you don't understand each other, you can get along slowly, and at worst, you can quarrel and tell each other's true thoughts.

But he assumed a hundred situations and couldn't imagine that Ye Xi's behavior was so abnormal recently, it was just because he didn't realize that he liked someone, because he liked someone too much, and the inferiority complex in his heart that had been suppressed for 25 years because of loneliness All hooked up.

He has no sense of security, not at all, and feels that he is not worthy to be around a person who treats him so well. He would rather hide in the gutter and look up at him than meet him, and because he owes this person now, there is nothing he can do. face him.

Lu Churan ate a piece of pork ribs, put the rest on Ye Xi's rice, and looked at him tenderly, "Tomorrow's Mid-Autumn Festival, do you want to go home with me for dinner? If you mind the identity issue, I can come with you." They say you are my friend, and they won't ask more about your family."

Ye Xi was sucking on the ribs, his mouth was bulging, and he was stunned for two seconds. He didn't expect that Lu Churan had already started to bring him into his family, and even thought of a reason for him. He was a little surprised at the moment. There is no way to say no.

He blinked, with a blank expression, and replied casually, "Ah, oh, good. Tomorrow, tomorrow will be the Mid-Autumn Festival. I don't have any idea about festivals."

Lu Churan looked at his sluggish expression, smiled, pulled him over and gave him a quick kiss on the face without hindering the presence of outsiders, "I will remember it in the future."

Ye Xi's back froze, and he wiped his face mechanically. His cheeks were a little hot and blushing, and he frowned, "Mr. Lu, can you be self-conscious about being a clean freak? Come and kiss me when you're full of oil, tell me No personal hygiene."

tomorrow?By this time tomorrow, he will have already left Lu Churan.

Others were reunited with their families on Mid-Autumn Festival, but his own Mid-Autumn Festival secretly planned to escape. Ye Xi felt like a mouse crossing the street, smiled helplessly, and suddenly remembered the poems that the elders had memorized for a long time in high school. Some feelings of loss were born.

I don't know how many people will return to Chengyue, but the moon is full of love.

What should I do after I leave?Before Ye Xi had time to think about it, he had no family, no friends, no one he could rely on.

He has troubled Lu Churan for too long. From that illness to the present, Lu Churan treats him regardless of past suspicions. Almost forgot how he used to live.

The end of coveting warmth is losing oneself, it deserves it.

That night, Ye Xi half-forced to do it with Lu Churan. Lu Churan didn't know that he was so anxious that he couldn't sleep every night. He thought that he was so busy with work these days that dark circles appeared under his eyes, and wanted him to go to bed early. I don't want to tire him, but when he was dressing him, he refused to do it again.

Ye Xi hoped that Lu Churan would take more unreasonable demands from him, so that he could alleviate the feeling of treating him badly, but Lu Churan didn't seem to have much desire/desire for his body, which made him feel bad for himself. serious doubts about self-awareness.

Seeing his melancholy and exhausted expression, Lu Churan seriously rejected him, "I won't come, it's time to sleep, put on your clothes." After finishing speaking, he added two more words, "Be obedient. "

Ye Xi was hit again with [-] critical points, and looked at him with aggrieved and frustrated eyes, his eyes were full of doubts about life, and after holding back for a long time, he asked, "Do you...don't like having sex with me?"

"What?" Lu Churan was stopped by his question, looked at him in astonishment, and boldly assumed, "The reason why your spirit is so poor recently is because you are dissatisfied with your desires?"

Ye Xi gritted his teeth, took a deep breath and resolutely resolutely said, "Yes, I just want to be dissatisfied, I don't know if my performance in bed is not good enough, or something is not to your liking, so you are cold when you see me, Don't want to do it with me."

"..." Lu Churan remained silent for a few seconds, not knowing what expression to put on, "I didn't expect you to think this way, I'm just afraid that you're not used to being down there, and I'm afraid you'll be exhausted."

"I'm going to die if you don't make me tired." Ye Xi said with tears in his eyes, "Every time I tell you I want it, you just act like I'm going to rape you. You Still laughing, do you still have the nerve to laugh?"

"It's my fault, but it's really not your problem. It's because I'm not very...okay, I won't say. I'm not dissatisfied with you, I like you very much." Lu Churan suppressed her smile, Looking at him, "You want it yourself, don't regret it."

As a result, Ye Xi felt that he was about to be useless after this incident, because Lu Churan actually tied him up with a tie, and put on an embarrassing posture. Later, he would not let him go no matter how much he begged for mercy. He did not expect that Lu Churan There will also be such a sexy and wild side, so exciting that he was almost made to pass out on the bed.

When Lu Churan finished applying the medicine for him, he finally couldn't resist the fatigue of insomnia for several days and fell asleep, his fingers tightly clutching Lu Churan's clothes, leaning against his neck warmly, breathing evenly in his arms.

It was better when I was dreaming. Ye Xi dreamed that he was hugged by a familiar body temperature, but after waking up, he couldn't even get up and his waist was so weak that he couldn't use his strength. He did more than 100 sit-ups in the physical examination in junior high school. On the second day of sitting, it was still uncomfortable, and my legs were soft. A large patch of small strawberries on my chest was painful and itchy. There were a few teeth marks on the inner thighs, and there was still a little pain in the back.

The next day was the public holiday of the Mid-Autumn Festival, Ye Xi was still on vacation and Lu Churan had no class, Ye Xi was still sleeping when he woke up, frowning as if he was uncomfortable, Lu Churan quietly put his hand into his clothes Dili massaged his lower back.

After he woke up, Lu Churan hugged him to wash, and dressed him again. When he saw Lu Churan's movements, his whole expression was dumbfounded, he was dazed, and even his breathing slowed down.

Everything was so peaceful that there was no warning. After Ye Xi drank the honey water and ate the fish ball rice noodles that Lu Churan cooked for him, Lu Churan went out to the store and asked Ye Xi if he wanted to come with him.

Ye Xi made an excuse casually, saying that he was going back to the company to do something and refused. Lu Churan rubbed his hair and kissed him on the forehead before going out.

Ye Xi ran to the balcony after hearing the elevator close, and saw Lu Churan turning into the road leading to the main entrance of the community, before turning around and dragging his luggage out of the next room.

Lu Churan didn't think to check the news on his phone until he was in the store, but when he took out his phone, he saw a message from the bank reminding him that there was a transfer of 130 million to his account, and it was transferred in Ye Xi's personal name , He vaguely felt something was wrong in his heart, and immediately called to ask Ye Xi what was going on, but Ye Xi didn't answer his call.

The autumn sun outside the window falls lazily on the wooden floor of the store, reflecting a layer of golden broken light.

The coffee machine was booming, the steam was pushing the espresso with a layer of coffee crema out of the machine, and the steam wand was whirling and whirling to whip the milk into froth.

Ji Er skilfully scraped off the rough layer of foam on the surface, shook the hot milk foam evenly in a circle, poured the cup on its side, pulled out the shape of the blade from the inside out, and finally pulled it forward to retract it.

"What's the matter? Why do you look very upset?"

"Nothing." Lu Churan frowned, and turned on the computer to read the headlines of today's news. Yesterday, the China Securities Regulatory Commission announced the deleveraging of the financial industry. Today, [-] new stocks fell to the limit at the opening of the market. Lu Chu was named in the small print report However, the parent company of the stock that Ye Xi helped him invest in before also fell to a suspension of trading, and naturally its subsidiaries were also wiped out.

The stocks were all down by the limit, so where did the 130 million that Ye Xi transferred to him come from.

Lu Churan had a hunch that something was wrong. He inexplicably felt that Ye Xi's carefulness in the past few days must have a lot to do with this. He told Ji Er, opened the door and drove home.

As soon as I walked into the lobby on the first floor, I saw the person from the moving company. Director Chen from the property management office was directing beside him. When he saw him, he greeted him warmly, "Mr. Lu, you are back so early today. Mr. Ye from downstairs I sold the house yesterday, and this is the new resident who moved in today, surnamed Wang."

Lu Churan didn't even bother to say hello in a perfunctory manner, a burst of anxiety rose from the bottom of his heart, he pressed the elevator to go upstairs expressionlessly, opened the door and found that bastard Ye Xi had already moved all his luggage away, and instantly became furious, He dialed Ye Xi's phone angrily, but no one answered.

What does he mean now, to leave without saying goodbye?Do you think you are acting in an idol drama because you have the face of a male protagonist?

Did he know that there was something wrong with this stock and deceived me to invest 120 million yuan, and now he wants to lose money from selling the house and separate himself from me?

He and I have been ambiguous for so long, is it actually all for his own performance, and by the way, did he prostitute me?

Last night, I said that I was dissatisfied with my desires. In the morning, I called my father to ask me to kiss me. In the afternoon, I will see you in the rivers and lakes by fate?Didn't you already promise me to go home and have dinner together?

Lu Churan sat on the sofa depressed and kept sorting out her thoughts in her mind, but she was sure that things were not as hopeless as they appeared on the surface.

If Ye Xi wanted to lie to himself, he would be able to deceive him completely. He didn't need to sell the house to pay him back, and he didn't need to abscond in fear of crime. Trust him unconditionally.

Because he likes him very much.

More importantly, if Ye Xi really didn't have that kind of affection for him, he didn't even need to give himself that first time. He could lie with his mouth, but his eyes couldn't. Ye Xi stuck in his arms and begged for a kiss. There is clearly emotion in that look in his eyes.

But this reformed little liar now doesn't answer his phone at all, and he doesn't know where he has gone.

Ye Xi sat in a Starbucks for six hours. After he left Lu Churan's house, he had nowhere to go, so he went to a Starbucks to borrow some Wi-Fi, and planned to search for a cheap clock hotel nearby. After today, I will rent a house.

At five o'clock in the afternoon, Ye Xi suddenly received a call from Qi Nian. He dared not answer Lu Churan's call, but he had to answer the call from others.

"Hey, senior, where are you now?" Qi Nian's tone was a little anxious.

Ye Xi paused in his heart, thinking that it was Lu Churan who asked you to come and kill me, so he replied calmly and cautiously, "I'm outside, what can you do with me?"

"Oh, it's like this. Last time I went to your company to participate in the internship program, I didn't send me the internship certificate. I want to ask you what's going on." Qi Nian said.

"Why did it take you so long to tell me? Do you need the internship certificate urgently?" Ye Xi asked in surprise.

Qi Nian was a little embarrassed, "I thought it was the urine of China Post, so I waited for a month to be sure that I didn't receive it. I was a little anxious, because I was going to go abroad for the exam, and the certificate had to be notarized by a notary office to take away. Senior, where are you now, can I come to you first?"

Ye Xi reported his address, "Then come here quickly, I will contact the company right now."

When Qi Nian arrived, his expression was very relaxed, without any anxiety at all, as if he had just finished playing ball with his classmates, wearing a sportswear, looking refreshed.

"Hello, senior."

"Sit," Ye Xi opened the email from the company and showed it to him, "This is your internship certificate, but it will only be valid after the company stamps the official seal, so you take a look first, if there is no problem, I will ask them to print it for you." gone."

"Oh, wait for this matter first." Sitting next to him, Qi Nian smiled, and handed over the phone in his hand, "Senior, don't worry about my internship certificate, I have a senior whose stocks have fallen by the limit today. I’m in a hurry to ask you about investment, I don’t have much work experience, and I can’t answer it, so I can only ask you.”

Ye Xi answered the phone suspiciously, put the receiver to his ear, and before he could catch his breath, he heard a growl from the other side, "Ye Xi, you bastard, brat, you're so mad at me, you're so good-looking! Just be willful, right! Where are you going, you dare to leave me, leave without saying goodbye, and dare not answer my phone call!" Lu Churan scolded halfway, her tone was still very fierce, but her anger disappeared suddenly Half, "...you hurry up and get back to me, I only give you 10 minutes, if you don't come home within 10 minutes, don't appear in front of me, I will call the police and say that you cheated me of my money Se is still wandering around the streets playing hooligans to send you to pick up soap."

Ye Xi was so yelled that she couldn't help shrinking her neck, the hand holding the phone kept shaking, tears were about to fall out, she bit her lower lip and tried not to lose her composure in front of Qi Nian, a potential rival in love, "Yeah" He hung up the phone twice and returned the phone to Qi Nian.

Qi Nian looked at Ye Xi's expression curiously, and asked him, "Senior, are you... with my senior? What kind of relationship do you have?"

Ye Xi sniffed, why are you not being together? A man or a boyfriend does not confirm the relationship. He simply can't understand the things in love, why people who love each other should keep themselves by their side and never leave. He only knew that if he couldn't get to Lu Churan within 10 minutes, he would be in great trouble.

He shook his head, but said "hmm" again.

Qi Nian didn't know whether he should trust his eyes or his ears, he looked at Ye Xi with a puzzled face, and wanted to ask something, but Ye Xi's mind was in a mess, he didn't want to answer anything, he only knew to ask Immediately return to Lu Churan's side, without any further delay.

So he got up and left, Qi Nian's expression remained blank until he watched him disappear from his sight.

The twilight is all together, the sky is full of rays of light, and the sky is scattered from the sky to the horizon from light to dark.

Ye Xi dragged his luggage to Lu Churan's door, and when he heard the sound of the wooden door opening, he dragged his luggage in with his head down, not daring to look up at the person in front of him.

Lu Churan's tone was very indifferent, "Didn't you go very hard, you even sold your own house, so you don't plan to come back."

Ye Xi didn't say a word, and even breathed silently.

"Why did you treat me like this?" Lu Churan's voice suddenly became hoarse, unable to hear the emotion, but it seemed like a heavy rain hit in the quiet night, "When I don't like you, you will come close to me to test me regardless The bottom line of patience, when I like you, you want to push me away and hide in a place where I can't find you. What do you want me to do? Don't like me if you don't like me. Can you treat me a little better? Don't just treat me like one of your 'normal friends'."

Ye Xi was already suffering enough, but after hearing the last sentence, he suddenly raised his head, his heart was stabbed hard, and his soreness swelled so much, did he know what he was talking about?

"I've never thought of you as those...how can you say that." Tears welled up from his eyes and fell onto the shoe, his shoulders were twitching, guilt, grievances and other messy things couldn't be suppressed, and he was stalked That burst of acid corrodes to dilapidation, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry... I can't stay with you anymore, I lied to you so much money, I lied to you from the beginning when I said I can't rely on friends, because I don't have any friends at all ..."

"I have such a bad personality, I have no one to educate me, and everything I do is based on the exchange of benefits. If you treat me with sincerity, I don't know what to do... I'm sorry, I have no face after paying back your money. For you, I don't have a heart at all, I'm a monster, and I don't have the feelings of normal people."

"I know you want my love, but I don't know what love is, and I don't know what I can give you to make you happier... I can't do it, it's not that I don't want to give it to you, I can't do it, I'm sorry ..." Ye Xi tugged on Lu Churan's sleeve and begged him for forgiveness, apologizing again and again, and finally cried until his vision was completely blurred, and he couldn't even say a word of apology.

Lu Churan remained silent for a full minute, stroking the back of his head and pressing him into his arms. He felt that there was a hole in his heart, and he needed the person in front of him to mend him with a tight embrace, otherwise he would have to It's starting to leak.

He felt Ye Xi's hot tears flow into his clothes, passing by the hot spot where his heart beat.

"I don't know what the relationship is. Who knows how to love others from birth. If no one teaches you, then I will teach you. If you don't know how to run away in shame, no one will go to elementary school. Everyone They are all stupid children who don’t know how to write, write or count, don’t they have to be ashamed to skip school every day... Don’t you like me to cook for you? I cook for you every day, don’t Let's go, okay?"

Ye Xi clutched Lu Churan's clothes tightly, buried his face tightly, panting with difficulty but couldn't find the correct breathing rhythm no matter what.

The setting sun cast the reflection of the city behind the overlapping figures, and Ye Xi finally cried out unbearably, as if he wanted to exhaust all the grievances and sorrows he had felt since he was born.

There are some vague traces of the forgotten lyrics that ended abruptly, fluttering in the thin night.

But I, sometimes, would rather choose to be nostalgic and not let go, until the scenery is seen through, maybe you will accompany me to watch the long stream of water.