flower and pillow

He Pei's friend Cheng Biyun deleted it many times and added it back many times.He Pei had never lost her temper in this matter, nor did she always want revenge like Cheng Biyun, she just clicked "Accept", waited for Cheng Biyun to speak, and then responded to her, as if nothing had happened.

Cheng Biyun didn't know what was in He Pei's mind, and how those winding circuits went.She couldn't catch her, and as soon as she stretched out her hand, she found nothing, and the misty phantom scattered as soon as she hit it.

disturbed.fear.She doesn't own her.

This emotion has tortured her since the second year of high school, and it has not disappeared.

Cheng Biyun doesn't like this kind of feeling, it's like you have a pet dog, but this dog is disobedient and runs outside all day, you train it to play frisbee, it insists on sitting still, and never sticks out its tongue flatteringly. □□ possessiveness.Possessiveness is always linked to love, but if you want to say whether you love it or not, she doesn't know how much it is.

I don't know, it can basically be equated with not loving.Just possession.

Possess what?

She looked at the picture of the jade embroidered withered and turned into a bald jade that He Peixin had passed to her. The tender green stems shrunk into dark green, like fried garlic sprouts that had been left for several days.Suddenly, a burst of sour water surged up in her stomach, an almost invisible crease formed at the tip of her eyebrows, and she made a slap face expression, and the letters that jumped out of her fingertips were all jokes: "No prospect! I'm not like you!" Son! You go!"

She wants to throw up.Eason Chan's "□□" was playing in the earphones.

Ever since the second year of high school broke He Pei's dinner with the boys, Cheng Biyun continued to send her some sweet text messages at night, saying good night to her, skipping class to play in the small garden next to the art building, and taking pictures of her, talking to her He said that all kinds of plants sprouted in spring, and they were very cute. He asked her if she had time to come around, but didn't mention anything else.He Pei only cooperated with her seamlessly on this matter, as if the meeting of eyes was just an illusion, but she was still indifferent, saying that she had no time and had to do the paper.

When Cheng Biyun received this text message from her, the first evening self-study had already started halfway.She put down her pencil, her little finger frozen and stiff from standing on the drawing board for so long, and got up to go out through the back door.

The art building in this school is a face-shaping display.It is enough to build a small three-story building, display various calligraphy and paintings that can reflect "quality education" on the first floor, and set up various rooms on the second and third floors for students to use.The huge hall was dark and all the lights were out.

She walked to the end of the corridor on the second floor and turned in.There are no stairs here, so almost no one will come, it is very quiet and safe.The mobile phone was always in her hand, her arms pressed against the stainless steel railing, and the coolness penetrated through the gaps in the sweater and went straight into her blood vessels.She pressed the power button to unlock it, and the text message still stood silently, like a stone tablet that split the world.

The very end of the palate began to cool and harden, and the air struggled in and out of the sour canyons of the nasal cavity.

Cheng Biyun breathed out, very depressed, not wanting to make any sound, not wanting to break the barrier of darkness, the black and white characters in front of his eyes began to blur, the body under his fingertips became warm, and water splashed on the smooth screen.

She is a squeamish but not squeamish person.Tears can't be stopped when they come, they are as ferocious as a wild beast.

Many times she will cry, joy, emotion, sadness, pain, read a novel, movie, or listen to a moving story, the tear glands will be ready to go, can't wait to vent her sense of existence, but Cheng Biyun Every time this happens, she will bite the soft flesh of her lower lip tightly, desperately suppressing this impulse, as if her face is covered with a thick layer of plaster mask, which will melt away when she cries.

Her thumb began to move and tap, scratching away those water marks, and wrote back to He Pei:

"I just want you to be with me."

In just a few words, she misclicked several times because she couldn't see the candidate words clearly, and it was like fighting a protracted battle until it was sent out.Then she pumped her chest and took a deep breath quietly and slowly, trying to suppress the tears. Before she could pack up her emotions, a boy's voice suddenly sounded behind her: "Oh, why are you standing alone? Scared!" Grandpa is dead!"

Cheng Biyun's scalp tightened and he quickly raised his arms to wipe his eyes, then turned around and saw a blurry figure with a little orange-red flame in front of his face.She laughed and joked, "I'll come out to rest, do you want to smoke?"

A classmate who is not very familiar with.

"That's right." He replied, carelessly: "Then shall I change places?"

"It's okay. I'll go back and continue painting."

Cheng Biyun walked by him and smelled a pungent smell of tobacco, his lungs and nasal cavity seemed to be soaked black.

He Pei replied to the letter after the lights in the dormitory were turned off at night.

"Sorry, I can't accompany you. I'm under a lot of pressure."

Cheng Biyun started crying again, taking a deep breath, not wanting to make a sound.The quilt was pulled by her to cover the whole head, like a snail's shell or a tortoise's iron wall.

In some respects, she is a very naive person, believing that as long as she is honest and hardworking, there will be good results, and people can understand each other, so she exhausted the words she could express, and told He Pei that she just hoped that in the long life Li walked with her for a while, without talking about her pain and tears, and did not want to be aggressive, she even felt that she was begging.

"Sorry. Can't do it. Go to bed early and good night."

Cheng Biyun threw the phone aside, her slow and deep breathing began to become heavy, but she still tried to calm herself down quickly.The air in the quilt was burning like a branding iron. She only dared to lift the quilt when her breath was a little smoother to let herself breathe, and then repeated it again and again until the Sandman waved a sickle and put her in his palm.

Youth seems to lack courage, or fearlessness.Cheng Biyun was still active, still aggressive, still trying to make her understand her feelings, but crying quietly every time she received a message of indifference and rejection between the lines, fighting again, and then deleting all the text messages sent by He Pei without missing a word Light.Repeatedly.

This high-intensity verbal battle finally made her throw up her armor and armor after a week, and she lost the strength to fight again.

How strange this thing is.

She just wanted to find a shield. He Pei would rather just be a spare tire. The original winners and losers were all reversed. The proud and determined people knelt down, and the humble people walked forward without looking back, like a deliberate farce.

She also didn't understand why she was crying.During almost a week of rest, her eyes seemed to be completely soaked in water, as if she was about to shed tears for half her life, as if she had been hit by a gu.

When she started to reflect on herself, her rationality returned, and she told her that what she had done was useless, and then sinisterly guessed the other party's intentions: In fact, she didn't like it at all, but she reluctantly agreed to it because she couldn't evade it.That makes sense.

Cheng Biyun waited quietly for another week. Their evening contact would never start as long as she didn't start it, but she still hoped that He Pei would take the initiative to find her, and it was okay to say something or blame her, so that she could let the past go and tell herself that it was okay. Having a chance to change the present, or waiting for the other party to say goodbye, will make both of you happy.

But He Pei didn't.

Cheng Biyun could no longer cry, and she even harbored a dim pleasure of revenge.

"It's almost the third year of high school. I'm going to start a training camp next semester. You study hard and don't get distracted. Your grades are so good. You will definitely be able to go to a good school. I won't bother you anymore. Let's break up."

She finally tasted the taste of "relief".