The Swan Bay Murders

When I came out of the bathroom in the morning, I saw the door of Jiang Luo's room was open. I thought he was awake and was going to tell him to wash up, but when I got to the door, I found that the man was still sleeping, and the cubs were hugging his chest. go.

This picture is very cute, I look at it with gusto.

I touched the pocket of the pajama pants, but the phone was not there, and I didn't want to waste time to get it, so I gave up taking pictures and focused on recording the scene with my eyes.

Jiang Luo woke up not long after, and gasped for breath with his mouth open. He probably had a nightmare. When he saw Zai Zai, he showed a helpless expression.

He's especially interesting when he's bleary-eyed, like a student who wants to stay in bed but is forced to get up.

I told him to wash and eat. He was about to get out of bed, but he hid again.

I think I probably know what's wrong with him, I hugged Zai Zai and left, and closed the door for him.

When I went downstairs, I kept thinking, Jiang Luo had a physiological reaction, did it mean that Yi Li's treatment was effective?

I turned around and went back to the room. I had to call Yi Li immediately, without delay.

The phone rang for a long time before Yi Li picked it up, with a sound of not waking up: "What are you doing so early in the morning..."

"Jiang Luo has an erection, is the treatment effective?" I went straight to the point, acting a little eager.

"Ah?" He seemed to be reacting for a while, then laughed and said, "Xing Baichuan! What's the matter with you, are you a pervert for paying so much attention to other people's morning wood?"

"...Don't change the subject, answer my question." I was a little embarrassed by what he said, and it was what he said that made me realize that I really seemed to be a little too much.

"Of course not!" Yi Li said, "Jiang Luo is just sexually disgusted, not impotent. He could have an erection, but he just can't stand sexual intercourse."

"But he's not..."

"Xing Baichuan, have you ever studied the clinical manifestations of sexual aversion?" He chuckled and said, "Is that why you care about Jiang Luo so much? You don't even know what's going on with his illness! Okay, early in the morning I was disturbed by you in my dream, so I won't tell you anymore, I'm going to sleep back in the cage!"

He hung up the phone right after he finished speaking. I wanted to ask more questions, but he refused to answer.

In fact, what he said was right, I didn't really understand Jiang Luo's disease at all, this was indeed my negligence.

Now that I was hung up on the phone, I simply opened the browser and started searching for introductions about sexual aversion. According to the Internet, the sexual arousal of most patients with sexual aversion is normal, and only a few will be accompanied by impotence or orgasmic dysfunction.

Sneaking around the room to search these things made me feel really out of my mind.

I don't know when Zai Zai ran out, but when I put down my phone and went to eat, my parents and Jiang Luo were already sitting at the dining table.

"What are you dawdling about?" My mother picked up the bowl to eat by herself, and said to Jiang Luo who was getting up to serve me porridge: "Leave Jiang Luo alone, let him serve it by himself."

I pressed Jiang Luo's shoulders to let him sit down, went over to serve a bowl of porridge, and then came and sat beside him.

"I have to work overtime tonight." I said, "Jiang Luo will come with me."

Jiang Luo seemed very happy when he heard that, but my mother said unhappily: "You work overtime as long as you work, why bother Jiang Luo?"

Now she really regards Jiang Luo as her own son, but I am more like an outsider who came in halfway.

"I should." Jiang Luo said to my mother with a smile, "Recently, the company has started to have too many things, and there are not enough people. I should help more."

Now my mother had nothing to say, and after thinking for a long time, she told Jiang Luo that she must have a good meal at night.

When the two of us talked about this on the way to the company, Jiang Luo smiled embarrassedly: "Maybe it's because I'm always with Auntie when you're not around, she's used to it."

"You can't stay with her for the rest of your life, don't coax her all the time, you see, my dad doesn't even hang around her."

Jiang Luo gave a soft "hmm", and then said in a very low voice: "Yeah, I can't be with you forever."

At this moment, he seemed extremely lost, and I felt that I might have said something wrong again, just as I was about to explain something, I heard Jiang Luo say: "Brother, I have been looking at houses recently, it is quite close to the company, and it will be convenient in the future. "

"Huh? What's the matter at home? What did the landlord say or did the agent contact you?" I subconsciously thought that our current house had a problem and we couldn't live in it, so he was looking for another house, but I didn't expect him to say: "No, yes I'm ready to move out."

I never thought that one day Jiang Luo would propose to move out.

To move out means to leave us.

For the next day, I could hardly do anything, and my mind was full of his moving.

I couldn't open my mouth to ask him why he moved away, and I couldn't say anything to persuade him to stay, although I had said it many times in my heart.

Because I seem to have no position and no qualifications to ask him what to do. When he was asked to live with us, he did not refuse. We supported each other and walked out of the most painful period. Now, everything is gradually getting better. nothing to say.

But I'm just upset.

As long as I think about going home in the future, I won’t see Jiang Luo hugging Zaizai sitting on the sofa with my mother watching TV. It bothers me that I can't be with him almost 24 hours a day.

So upset that I don't want to do anything.

He sent over a proposal, but I didn't say anything, just let him put it here and send it out.

Jiang Luo's back when he went out reminded me of the day his watch strap suddenly broke, so I subconsciously looked at his wrist, but the sleeve blocked it, so I couldn't see if he was wearing the watch I gave him.

Everything was slowed down because I wasn't in the mood for work.

I planned to work overtime in the evening to finalize the final work of this project, but I couldn't work well in my current state, so I simply let everyone go home, and Jiang Luo was the same.

"You go back first, I'm going to meet a friend." The two of us went downstairs together, and when we reached the first floor, he got out of the elevator and took a taxi from the main entrance, and I went directly to the B1 floor to pick up the car.

I don't have any friends to date, except Jiang Luo, I can only find Yi Li, but I don't want to find him.

That person is always rambling and making noise, I just want to be alone now.

I found a teahouse to drink tea, alone.

While sipping tea, he thought about Jiang Luo.

We have known each other for almost half a year, and from late autumn to spring, we have experienced many things together.

Probably, the vast majority of people in this world will not be as unforgettable as ours for half a year.

I remembered that when we first met, he was emaciated, wrapped in a bulky black windbreaker, as if a gust of wind could knock him down.

Remembering that he wanted to jump off the balcony on the 20th floor of the hotel when we first met, it scared me half my life.

Thinking of him crying and shaking with Berlin's suicide note, thinking of him staying up all night and hiding to smoke.

Later, we all start to forget about the pain, and we do it on purpose, because no one wants to live in the gray past.

I don’t know if I have come out now, but every time I see the photos of Berlin, I still think that he will be heartbroken, but it is no longer as painful as it was before, almost suffocating.

Perhaps, I did transfer my love for Berlin to Jiang Luo, and it was precisely because of this that I was so distraught when he said he would move out.

It all finally made sense.

To Jiang Luo, it turned out to be like this.

I sent Yi Li a WeChat message and told him my confusion. I regarded Jiang Luo as Berlin's stand-in. Now that he is moving away, I'm afraid not only me, but even my parents can't bear it.

Yi Li only replied with one sentence.

He said: Are you really just using him as a stand-in?

I frowned, feeling a little headache.

When I got home at night, it was past eleven o'clock.

At home, both parents were asleep, and Jiang Luo was smoking on the balcony again.

"Aren't you quitting smoking?" I asked him in the past.

He shook his head and said, "I can't quit."

"There's nothing you can't quit." I took the half-smoked cigarette in his hand and dimmed it on the balcony, "Everything in this world can be quit."

I don't know if this is for him or for myself. Maybe I rely too much on him, relying on him to give me the illusion that my family is still complete.

Get rid of this misplaced dependence on him, and probably everything can be solved.

I turned around and went back to the room, and suddenly wanted to ask him when he would move, but I opened my mouth, but I still couldn't ask.

Once again, I found myself so cowardly that I didn't have the courage to face separation at all.

The matter of Jiang Luo's moving seemed to be on the agenda just like that, but I still don't know why he suddenly had this idea.

He will still go to Yi Li for treatment, but he still has no confidence.

His illness has always been a secret from my parents. Now, he has another secret, which is to move.

I always want to find a suitable opportunity to tell them, so that the two of them will be mentally prepared, for fear that the sudden attack on the second elder will be unbearable.

However, there never seems to be a suitable opportunity, and I don't think any time is a good time to hurt them.

On weekends, if I have nothing to do, I still hang around Jiang Luo, accompany him to treatment, he enters the building, I wait for him outside, and then we have a meal together, and then accompany him to see the house.

The few one-bedroom houses he found on the Internet were all near the company. The rent there was cheap, and the houses were quite clean, which was not bad.

But every time I go to see it, I can always pick out a lot of problems that lead to the failure of renting a house.

Either the windows are too small and the light is not good, or the setting is old and not worth the price. In short, there is no house that I am satisfied with.

After another whole day of tossing around, Jiang Luo said on the way back, "Actually, the house I saw just now is not bad. If I live alone, there is no need for a double bed."

I suddenly felt uncomfortable and didn't want to talk.

He was also silent for a while, and then said: "After reading so much, why not settle on this one."

"No." I said, "Look again, there must be better ones."

It's raining, the first rain of the year.

Pedestrians on the road either ran quickly with their bags on their heads, or strolled leisurely in the rain with umbrellas.

The raindrops hit the car windows, making the temperature in the car seem to drop because of it.

"Brother." Jiang Luo looked out the window and said lightly, "Do you not want me to move away?"

I don't know how to answer, I really don't want to, not at all.

"I'm afraid my parents won't be able to bear it."

After a long time, he said softly: "Well, I understand, I will tell them."

The rain is getting heavier and heavier. I didn't expect the first rain to be fierce. I always feel that this summer will be even more difficult.