The Swan Bay Murders

I feel very tired recently, and I like to be in a daze when I have nothing to do.

Lying in bed, doing nothing.

But often there is very little time for this kind of cleanliness. Before I lie down for a long time, Yi Li's message or phone call will come.

I've been to his office three times now and have made an appointment not to tell anyone about my conversations during therapy.

In fact, I was just afraid that he would tell Brother Bai Chuan.

The nasty things I've been through and seen shouldn't be brought up again.

If it wasn't for the treatment, I wouldn't want to tell Yi Li at all.

I don't want to hear, watch or even think about the word "sex". In my world, it is equivalent to disgusting and dirty.

I will never forget the scene I saw when I was eight years old, and the tears my mother shed later.

Yi Li said: "You don't need to forget, but you have to learn to face it."

However, I have no choice but wish I could go back to that time and cover those eyes.

Zai Zai outside the door is barking again, it must be uncle teasing it with sausages again.

I came back from get off work today, and Brother Bai Chuan said that he had a date.

Lying here, staring at the ceiling, I always feel uncomfortable.

Yi Li didn't look for me tonight, Brother Bai Chuan has a date...

I grabbed the quilt angrily and covered my head, feeling that I was annoying.

"Is Jiang Luo eating?" Auntie knocked on the door, and there was a sound of scratching the door, so she knew it was Zai Zai without thinking.

I got out of bed and the little guy hugged my leg as soon as the door opened.

I bent down to pick it up, rubbed its little head, and asked my aunt, "Brother, aren't you coming back for dinner?"

"Let's eat our own and leave him alone." Auntie patted me on the back and said, "Go wash your hands and eat!"

I put Zaizai down and went to the bathroom to wash my hands. The little guy was still following me, wagging his tail non-stop.

Brother Bai Chuan didn't come back until after dinner. I watched TV dramas with my aunt, but I was completely absent-minded.

"Jiang Luo," my aunt asked me suddenly, "do you have something on your mind?"

"Ah?" I quickly denied, "No."

She obviously didn't believe it, but she didn't ask any more questions, she just said: "What's wrong with you all recently, are you hiding something from me? One or two are so out of their minds."

When I heard it, I asked suspiciously, "Who else is there?"

"Are you admitting that you have something on your mind?" Auntie reacted very quickly, looked at me and smiled, "Your brother, I don't know what's wrong with you."

I suddenly felt hot at the base of my ears, so I picked up Zai Zai and said, "I'll take it out for a walk."

For some reason, I felt like I was running away from my aunt's sight.

Tie the leash to Zai Zai at the door, and this little guy had fun as soon as he went out. He is small in size but strong in strength, pulling me forward.

When I ran to the gate of the community, this little coward stopped and looked back at me.

Since it was picked up by me, it has not been out of the gate of the community. There are many cars and cars outside, so we rarely take it out.

I pulled it and walked slowly along the sidewalk outside the community, feeling a little disappointed.

Yi Li has come to China, and he doesn't know how long he will stay. The only person he is familiar with here is Brother Bai Chuan, and it is not impossible for the two of them to rekindle their old relationship.

I don't know why, but I started thinking about it all the time.

I think, maybe in the future, Brother Bai Chuan will be like this often, no longer working overtime all day, and of course he will not go home with me, but go to live his spare time.

I suddenly remembered that Yi Li said that he met someone he likes. I am not sure if it is Brother Bai Chuan, maybe not, because Yi Li just bought that person a birthday present, and Brother Bai Chuan’s birthday is still a few months away .

That is to say...

I stood still, and Zai Zai looked back at me.

I said to it like a madman: "In case Brother Bai Chuan is rejected by Yi Li, isn't he very pitiful?"

Zai Zai ignored me, turned his head, and saw a chubby bichon frizz walking across, stretching its neck and barking at me.

In the chilly spring, I dragged Zai Zai outside for a full two hours.

When my aunt called, I realized that my legs were sore, and I dragged that crazy boy back.

As soon as Auntie hung up the phone, Brother Bai Chuan called.

"I passed by the cake shop. Last time you said you wanted to eat cakes. I'll buy some cakes later."

"Huh?" I recalled it, but I really couldn't remember when I said such a thing.

"Do you want chocolate or cheese?" He should be in the store, and I could vaguely hear the music.

Besides the music, there is also the voice of Yi Li.

They were together.

"Ah, don't bother." I suddenly lost the mood to eat cake, standing under the tree, feeling a little cold.

Seeing that I was not moving, Zai Zai started to cry again.

"Are you outside?" Brother Bai Chuan asked.

"Well, I'll take Zai Zai out for a walk."

"Where are you? I'm pretty close to home. I'll go find you later."

I didn't know what was wrong with me, I didn't want to see Brother Bai Chuan and Yi Li coming to me together, so I said: "I'll be home soon, I've entered the community, you should be busy."

After I finished speaking, I hung up the phone, thinking that my last sentence "you are busy" was really stupid.

I knelt down, pinched Zai Zai's face, and asked him: "Tell me, do I rely too much on Brother Bai Chuan?"

For the first time in so many years, I found that "possessiveness" seems to be still living in my body. I am used to Brother Bai Chuan turning around me, thinking about everything for me, and spending all the time with me. Now he I have gone to live my own life, but I feel sad like a boudoir.

Zai Zai and I walked too far, this guy got lazy halfway, so I had to carry him along.

As I walked, I regretted why I walked so far in a daze.

After wandering around for about 20 minutes, there was a sudden sound of a whistle.

I turned my head and looked over, and it turned out to be Brother Bai Chuan's car.

How should I describe the feeling at that moment? It was different from the last time he rescued me in front of Xu Zhao. At that time, I was extremely grateful and secretly relieved. .

He kept honking at me, and I knew that my lie just now had been exposed, so I had no choice but to bite the bullet and go over, and opened the back seat door.

"Sit up front." He turned to me.

I was taken aback again, and looked at the co-pilot's position, there was no one there.

I finally relaxed, closed the back door, and sat in the passenger seat.

"Where's Yi Li?" I asked this sentence as soon as I got in the car.

"Are you looking for him?" Brother Bai Chuan asked me back.

"Ah... no, no." I rubbed Zai Zai's head and whispered, "I thought he was there."

"He went back after buying the cake." Brother Bai Chuan paused, then smiled suddenly, and asked me, "Did you lie to me that you were home because you thought he was there?"

I was so embarrassed, I felt that my little thoughts were seen through by others, and I was a little ashamed.

Just when I ran into a red light, Brother Bai Chuan rubbed my hair with a smile and said, "Why are you so stupid."

I don't know what's wrong with me, I suddenly feel very uncomfortable.

I started to be afraid of Brother Bai Chuan's approach, and I didn't want to get so close to him again.

On the way home, he was always talking, but I just watched Zai Zai silently, and occasionally responded with a word or two, completely out of shape.

He also seemed to have noticed my abnormality, and before entering the house, he suddenly grabbed me and asked, "What's wrong with you?"

I gently withdrew my hand and shook my head: "Maybe I'm too tired, this guy dragged me so far..."

I know that my lie is a bit clumsy, but I can't help it, because I don't know what's wrong, let alone answer him.

Taking advantage of Brother Bai Chuan's daze, I stepped into the house first.

Uncles and aunts are watching TV, and they are a little surprised to see us coming back together.

I gave Zai Zai a bath, and the guy splashed water everywhere.

Auntie took it to blow-dry, I washed it hastily, and went back to the room.

Lying on the bed, still restless.

Tossing and turning unable to sleep, I turned on my phone and downloaded a rental software.

I haven't registered an account on the software, just want to take a look first.

Aimlessly flipping through.

I was very entangled, I didn't know where I should move, and I began to fear my life alone in the future.

I set my goal on a small one-bedroom house, more than 30 square meters, and it may not look so empty if I live in it.

After watching a lot, I feel uncomfortable.

A message popped up on the phone to remind me, I clicked in and saw it was from Brother Bai Chuan.

He said that today he went to have dinner with Yi Li, and that guy was going to hold a birthday party for the person he likes, and asked him to help with the shopping.

I don't know how to respond or why he suddenly came to explain this to me.

This should be called an explanation, right?

I hesitated for a long time, and replied to him: Well, he only has you as a friend here, so you should help.

After posting, I regretted it. If Brother Bai Chuan wants to get back together with Yi Li, then Yi Li's behavior is undoubtedly hurting him now. Instead of comforting Brother Bai Chuan, I was so stupid to say such a thing.

I hurriedly withdrew, fortunately, there was still time.

However, Brother Bai Chuan has already seen it.

He asked me again: Why did you withdraw the message?

I was so embarrassed that I didn't know what to do, so I just stopped replying.

After a while, he sent another message: Asleep?Good night, see you tomorrow.

I stared at that sentence for a long time, and rubbed my fingers on his head.

That night I had a dream, and there was something in the dream that weighed on my heart and made me breathless.

When I woke up, I found that something was really pressing on my heart.

Zai Zai curled up in a ball, staring at his paws on my chest.

"woke up?"

I looked towards the door, and Brother Bai Chuan actually leaned against the door and looked at me with a smile.

I was startled and asked, "How did it get in?"

I grabbed Zai Zai and threw it to the side. I was about to lift the quilt and get up when I suddenly found that I had a morning erection, so I immediately put the quilt back on.

Brother Bai Chuan asked me in surprise: "What's wrong?"

"It's okay." I said, "Go and do your work. I'll change my clothes first and then wash up."

He stared at me for a few seconds, then called Zai Zai, one person and one dog left my room, and closed the door for me.