a quarter of his

It was a cubicle less than ten square meters.

The only window was tightly covered by heavy curtains, so that no light could come in.

The finished beer cans and instant noodle boxes were scattered all over the floor, exuding a rotten smell.

The bed is very small, only 1.2 meters wide, and dirty clothes and socks are everywhere.

The computer was randomly spread among the piles of rubbish on the table, and the screen was flickering, indicating what system was running.

Lin Jingfan turned his head in disbelief. In the darkness, Zhou Hao's expression was very uncomfortable, and he said in embarrassment:

"I told you not to come..."

"You explain to me now."

Lin Jingfan opened the window to let the air in, and roughly cleaned up the garbage on the ground, stuffing all the dirty clothes into the laundry basket beside him, and finally made room for the two of them to sit down.

He sat on the stool opposite Zhou Hao and looked at him.

Yesterday, my brain was too shocked and didn't have time to react, only now did I realize that Zhou Hao was indeed much thinner than before.

His hair grew a little longer, his cheeks were thin and sunken, and his cheekbones could be seen clearly. His eyes were black and blue, and his beard had grown a little. He looked very haggard.

"What the hell is going on, what have you been doing for the past six months?"

Lin Jingfan was both shocked and heartbroken. Isn't Zhou Hao's family conditions very good? How could he live in such a place?

Zhou Hao glanced at him anxiously, but still kept his mouth tightly shut and refused to speak.

Lin Jingfan knew he didn't dare to push him too hard, so he turned his gaze to the computer screen and asked, "What is this?"

"Postgraduate experimental project", Zhou Hao said indifferently, "I ran for two days and two nights and failed."

"Oh", Lin Jingfan nodded, did not comment much, and began to help him clean up the things on the table.

There is a copy of "No Place in the World" on the table.

Lin Jingfan has a very strange feeling about this book. Along the way, it is it that connects his relationship with Zhou Hao and "None" into an entangled and reciprocating web.

He picked it up curiously, and Zhou Hao's face immediately changed: "Don't look."

"Why can't you read it?" Lin Jingfan dodged his grabbing hand, "What else are you hiding from me?"

As he spoke, he gently opened the book.

Seeing his movements, Zhou Hao immediately turned his face away, staring at the peeling skin on the old wall.

At the same time, Lin Jingfan saw a stack of thick photos inside the book.

The top one is in a barbecue restaurant, Lin Jingfan and Mai Xingze are sitting face to face, chatting and laughing.

Lin Jingfan raised his eyebrows in surprise, and turned to the next one.

In the same barbecue restaurant, Ying Zhe had a dejected look on his face, with his hands on his face, while Lin Jingfan sat next to him, patting him on the back couldn't help comforting him.

In the next picture, in the semi-dark train carriage, Lin Jingfan held the small table and smiled sideways, Xu Chen approached him and talked to him.

Maybe it's because of the shooting angle. Looking at it this way, the distance between the two of them is extremely close, as if he was enjoying Xu Chen's kiss.

Lin Jingfan looked at Zhou Hao incredulously, he actually took a photo at that time?

Feeling his gaze, Zhou Hao moved his hand on the bed unnaturally, Lin Jingfan turned to the last page of the photo, and suddenly fell silent.

Under the dark sky, there were gray and white snowflakes, firecrackers and paper scattered all over the place. Lin Jingfan was wearing a black down jacket with a hat on his head, he was breathing white steam loudly, and he and Wei Yang were throwing cannons at each other.

In the blink of an eye, Lin Jingfan remembered the phone call and the wind that night.

"You...were in City G at that time?" Lin Jingfan's voice was trembling, "Why didn't you tell me then?"

"What's the use of talking about it?" Zhou Hao vented his anger, "You never lack people to accompany you. Would you abandon them for me?"

"What are you talking about?" Lin Jingfan said displeasedly, "How do you want me to emphasize your position in my heart... No, you have taken so many photos, and you have been following me?"

"No", Zhou Hao immediately denied.

"Then how do you explain so many photos? Could it be a coincidence?" Lin Jingfan finally gained the upper hand and tortured him relentlessly.

"The time at the barbecue restaurant was a coincidence. I happened to be sitting behind you that time and overheard your conversation." Zhou Hao didn't dare to meet Lin Jingfan's eyes, and said with some difficulty, "Afterwards I... Going to that barbecue restaurant, you really came for the second time."

"A few days during the Chinese New Year, I had a quarrel with my family, and I knew you had gone home, so I..." Zhou Hao took a deep breath, as if he couldn't continue, "I secretly I went back to the rental house and slept in your room..."

Lin Jingfan gasped, not knowing that such a thing had happened.

"Later, I couldn't bear to call you, and when I heard your voice, I felt impulsive..." Zhou Hao sat on the bed with his legs curled up, his back against the wall, his eyes closed, and he gave up on himself, "I booked the ticket, and I'll wait for you later." You know all about it."

"What about the photo on the train?" Lin Jingfan pulled out a photo, pinched his fingers between his fingers, and looked at him carefully, "Don't tell me, you fell in love with me the first time you saw me."

"No", Zhou Hao opened his eyes abruptly, and shook his head violently, "Of course not!"

"Although you claimed to be cousins ​​at the time, I saw your relationship at a glance. I just thought you were very... very generous, so I took a picture of you for some reason."

"Really?" Lin Jingfan approached him and asked softly.

He knelt on one knee at the head of the bed, with his hands on both sides looking at him at the same level. Zhou Hao raised his head slightly and looked at him quietly, his chest heaving uncontrollably.

Their faces were so close that they almost breathed each other.

Suddenly, Lin Jingfan's lips were printed on it.

It was just a superficial kiss, and the four lips were quickly separated after touching each other.

Zhou Hao's eyes were wide open, he froze in place, he even forgot to breathe.Lin Jingfan just paused for a few seconds, and then put his lips on it again without any doubt.

This time it was no longer just a taste, his kiss had a ferocious taste, and he aggressively pried open Zhou Hao's teeth, entangled with him.

With his hands on Zhou Hao's shoulders, almost his whole body fell into his arms.

However, Zhou Hao seemed to have not reacted, he was out of shape until Lin Jingfan bit the tip of his tongue lightly with his teeth.

He suddenly trembled all over his body, and in the next second he turned to the guest, pushed Lin Jingfan down on the bed, and kissed frantically.

The room that Zhou Hao rented was a single room separated by two bedrooms and two halls. When Lin Jingfan came in, he saw a student couple living next door.

The soundproofing of the room is extremely poor, and the sound of neighbors watching TV can still be heard at this moment.

However, they don't care about this much anymore, the feelings that have been suppressed for a long time must be released through physical touch.

They kissed and caressed, but just as they were about to hit the base, Zhou Hao suddenly stopped.

"What's wrong?" Lin Jingfan's neck was covered with sweat, panting heavily, and turned to look at him.

Zhou Hao wiped the sweat off his forehead, avoided looking at him, and said in a muffled voice, "Move first, don't... be here."

"Are you shy?" Lin Jingfan looked at him amusedly, thinking of "None"'s previous relationship experience, he realized that this might be Zhou Hao's first time.

"Okay," he rolled over and got up like a flutter, and scratched Zhou Hao's chin like an old man, and said in a rough voice, "Find a good day and auspicious day, and watch the young master eat you well."

The two quickly packed Zhou Hao's luggage.

Zhou Hao has very little luggage. A laptop and a few sets of clothes are all his belongings. He doesn’t even need a suitcase, and each person has a backpack to move the house away.

From that day on, Zhou Hao returned to this rental house for the first time in nearly a year.

Lin Jingfan tidied up the master bedroom inside and out again. Since Zhou Hao moved out, no one has lived in this room.

He originally wanted to live in the master bedroom directly with Zhou Hao, and let the cat live in the guest room. Considering that it was his first time in a relationship, it might make him not used to it if it progressed too fast, so he still slept in the other room.

The lives of the two have returned to the previous pattern——

During the week, Lin Jingfan went to work, while Zhou Hao stayed at home with the cat to work on a graduate project, occasionally cooking for Lin Jingfan.

Zhou Hao will be in charge of cleaning the house on weekends, while Lin Jingfan will be in charge of cooking.

Lin Jingfan knew that he was having conflicts with his parents, and he also knew that he hadn't looked for an internship since he left the job, and was even more worried that his emotions would lose control again, but he didn't mention it or ask.

If Zhou Hao wants to talk about these things, then he will accompany him to solve them.If he doesn't say it, he also chooses to respect it and will accompany him until he wants to say it.

In this way, the little days of the two of them lived peacefully and warmly.

Occasionally, Lin Jingfan would think of the time when he was just in college, when all he wanted was such a mediocre but happy life.

A right person, a warm house, a lovely pet.Going to work together, eating together, working together and sitting on the sofa watching TV together, everything could not be more beautiful, except for one thing——

Lin Jingfan found that Zhou Hao was unwilling to "that" with him.

The two dated for more than a month, and everything went very smoothly. The only fly in the ointment was that every time the two of them misfired and became intimate, Zhou Hao would always stop at the last kick.

Lin Jingfan understood it very well at the beginning, after all, it is very important to break through the defense line in his heart when doing this kind of thing, and he himself did a long time of mental construction when he was doing it for the first time.

However, Zhou Hao turned off the fire every time, and Lin Jingfan was also a person in need, and after a long time, he still felt a little overwhelmed.

Finally, once, he raised this confusion.

Zhou Hao's answer was beyond his expectation.

"You..." Lin Jingfan couldn't laugh or cry, "You have this confusion, why didn't you say it earlier."

"I'm afraid you think I don't believe you," Zhou Hao said with some embarrassment, "You really don't mind?"

"What do I care about?" Lin Jingfan said, "Let's go, I'll go check it out this week."

"Forget it," Zhou Hao said, "It's not good to be seen by people when you go to that kind of place."

"What's wrong?" Lin Jingfan said, "Go, we can rest assured after the inspection, if you don't want to go to the prevention and control center, you can donate blood, that's what my junior brother did before."

Zhou Hao flinched at first, but under Lin Jingfan's nagging, he had no choice but to agree.

The two found a weekend to go to the blood donation room, Zhou Hao was drawn a large tube of blood, his whole face turned pale, but Lin Jingfan couldn't donate blood because of low platelets.

"I'll go to the prevention and control center to check," Lin Jingfan said.

"No need," Zhou Hao said immediately, "I've told you I believe you."

"But I don't trust myself, let's look it up."

"Don't go."

"Yes," Lin Jingfan said earnestly, "Brother Hao, I really don't mind you mentioning this. There are too many people messing around in our circle. If you are not careful, you may contract AIDS. I had a friend before That's it... I went to check this not only to reassure you, but also to be responsible to you and to myself, so don't feel pressured."

Lin Jingfan finally went to the prevention and control center.

When he went to check, he saw many people, everyone deliberately kept a distance from others, and their faces were full of panic.

The process of waiting for the result is like going through a trial.

Some people got a negative result and were successfully released on bail, hugging and crying with their relatives and friends around them.Others tested positive and were sent to jail again.

Lin Jingfan was very confident in himself at first, and he couldn't help becoming nervous in this environment, but fortunately, the final result was good.

In a few days, the results of Zhou Hao's blood donation came out, and he was also healthy.

Finally no longer having to be a vegetarian every day, Lin Jingfan was happy but at the same time couldn't help but fell into thinking.

This trial that the two of them found for themselves made him feel uneasy, but at the same time he couldn't help but think of more.

The high-pressure environment may not only bring pressure to comrades, but also an unbearable burden, so the gay circle is chaotic and dirty.

Because in the darkness where the future cannot be seen, hard work may not necessarily see the light, but indulgence can bring short-term joy.

But life is not an easy journey after all. After indulgence, there will still be darkness before the eyes, and even the achievements of previous difficult crawling will be obliterated.

Looking back on my years, the only time I indulged because I couldn't bear the pressure was the first half semester of my freshman year.It is precisely because of this that he lost the opportunity to guarantee research.

Sometimes Lin Jingfan has to admit that he is ordinary, every step along the way is overcoming difficulties, and if he is a little slack, he will lose everything.

He has to admit that he is lucky, because there are so many people in this world who can't succeed no matter how hard they try.

They were still struggling and groping in the dark, feeling that they could no longer hold on every second, but persisted again and again.

In July, Lin Jingfan performed brilliantly in cooperating with the public security system.During the mid-year defense, Ye Ming gave him a thumbs up from the audience, Lin Jingfan gave her a wink, and opened the PPT confidently.

After the speech, the backstage applause continued for a long time, and Meng Nan sent him a WeChat message.

- i thought you were just glowing

- really good

Lin Jingfan was stunned for a moment when he saw it. He also felt that his recent work was going well, but he didn't expect to feel this way in the eyes of others.

He sent a few expressions covering his face, he really couldn't bear such praise.

Meng Nan suddenly said: Fanzi, I want to ask you for an authorization!

Lin Jingfan was confused:? ? ?

Meng Nan: I want to use you as a model to write your story into a novel, is that possible?

Lin Jingfan was in a daze at that moment.

Meng Nan began to explain on Bilibala again on WeChat, including why he was chosen, what kind of content he would write, etc. He was as big as the first two.

But in the end, one of Meng Nan's words moved him. She said, "If you think your experiences over the years are meaningful and want to record them, you can think about it."

Lin Jingfan had never thought that his life could be recorded in this way, so he agreed after thinking for a while.

Thus, "A Quarter of Him" ​​was born.

——Volume [-] · Zhou Hao Chapter (End)——

The author has something to say: I still want to emphasize that you must never donate blood to test whether you are infected with HIV, it is very dangerous!

Woohoo, it's finally finished.

现在是2020年8月29日18:39分，从1月7号诞生这个想法，到1月8号跟林惊帆要授权、听他讲故事、整理大纲再到写完，经历了八个多月，总算结束了。

Next, there will be a side story "Lin Jingfan and Me" about interesting stories between Meng Nan and Lin Jingfan, so stay tuned.

In the past few days, I will continue to send the chat records that I wanted to authorize with Lin Jingfan, including screenshots of this guy's awards in college (this is so awesome, just the awards are listed, there are three pages of word) on Weibo, everyone is welcome to come and watch.

I still love you today~

Oh, by the way, I am very curious about Fanzi's boyfriends Ying Zhe, Xu Chen, Mai Xingze, and Zhou Hao, who do you like the most?