My baby tame dyed bandages to become semen

When Osamu Dazai and Akatsuki Yuzuki met, they were not called Osamu Dazai.

At that time, his name was Shuji Tsushima, and he was the sixth son of the Tsushima family in Qingzu County, Aomori Prefecture.

Qingjin County is a small place, but the Tsushima family is the largest family in the area. Shuji Tsushima has eleven brothers and sisters.

The father, who is a member of parliament, obviously cannot personally teach a dozen children, and he values ​​​​the eldest son as the heir most.It is impossible for a frail mother to pay attention to every child. Compared with him as the youngest son, the mother cares more about the two frail twin brothers in front.

He grew up under the care of servants.

Although he looked a little pale and thin, he was much healthier than his two elder brothers who were bedridden all year round.

He was diligent and precocious when he was young, and he was never confused by not getting the love of his parents.

Since he could think independently, he has been deeply trapped in another kind of fear.

What is the meaning of life?

Obviously, many times, people are living to cause harm and suffer pain.

Shuji Tsushima's mother always shed tears whenever the two elder brothers were rescued due to illness.

"If only I was a little healthier. As a mother, I really deserve death for bringing my sick body to my children."

The mother thought that she had caused harm to her two elder brothers, and the illness of the two elder brothers also made her suffer. It seemed that death was the best relief.

The mother who said so would never die.

The two elder brothers also lamented in the room from time to time.

"Living is too painful! Not only do you have to endure the torment of illness, but you will also hurt your loved ones. We are better off dead!"

The brothers who said this, but when they got sick next time, they cried and wailed: "I don't want to die, Mom! I don't want to die!"

Mother and brother held each other's hands tightly, like holding the hope of life.

But why?

Why do you have to live?

Doesn't living mean pain?

Is there anything worth remembering in the world?

These confusions were vaguely buried in Shuji Tsushima's heart.

So that when he grew up, he embarked on the road of death and survival.

When Shuji Tsushima's two elder brothers died.

At the funeral, the mother was crying, the father was distraught, the brothers and sisters were crying, and the servants were also gloomy.

However, these people have more or less sighed behind their backs, my brothers would rather die than live.

My father once quietly asked the doctor how long the two older brothers could live.

"Only half a month at most."

After getting the answer, my father specially prepared the funeral in advance and contacted the reporter to come and shoot.

The day after the funeral, pictures of his distraught father appeared in the local morning paper.

The headline of the report was "Rep. Tsushima, despite the pain of bereavement, is still conscientious and hands-on".

Attached is an office photo of my father with a haggard face.

The youngest sister once lost her temper in front of Shuji Tsushima when her mother forgot her birthday, but was thinking about the meal situation of her two brothers that day.

"If only they were dead!"

She viciously dropped the doll in her hand, cursing sharply.

The servants were even chattering in the corner.

"The two young masters are too pitiful. It would be easier to die."

"Living is also a burden to the family, and the master and wife have another big fight because of them."

"That's right, poor Master Shuji Tsushima is young, but it's rare to see his parents."

"Master Wenzhi was praised by the master yesterday."

"No way, he is the eldest man after all."

……

The young Tsushima Shuji didn't respond at all to the part about himself in the discussion.

He's always been like that with things he doesn't care about.

However, the part about the two brothers made him realize the hypocrisy of people, or the hypocrisy of a person's life.

People are constantly losing while living. Even if there was a happy time, after a short possession, there will only be a piece of ashes left.

Just like his mother used to laugh happily when getting along with her two elder brothers, but after the short-term joy, she still had to face the painful disease.

If the happiness that people pursue is ultimately illusory, then is there any need for people to live?

If people can understand the meaning of life only when they live in pain, the pursuit of happiness becomes a paradox in life.

He looked at the pale, closed-eyed faces of the two older brothers, their small bodies lying peacefully in the square coffin, the corners of their mouths even slightly raised.

Compared with their changing emotions when they were alive, they were much calmer and more stable when they died.

The two elder brothers who were buried in the ground made Shuji Tsushima understand at that time that if the meaning of life cannot be found, death is also an option.

Since then, his life has been marked by suicide.

After the death of the two elder brothers, perhaps it was his emaciation and paleness that aroused the mother's empathy.

His mother put most of her energy on him, and even did not allow him to go to elementary school when he was six years old.

For this reason, he did not hesitate to quarrel with his father.

"My lord and my wife used to be lovers too!"

"I heard that the master once knelt down at the wife's natal house for a day in order to marry his wife."

"I didn't expect to have quarrels over children after marriage."

"Master will hate Master Xiuzhi!"

"Poor..."

Shuji Tsushima, who heard the servant's discussion, calmly said to Naoko-san who took care of him: "I want to die too."

Naoko-san's expression changed drastically, "You can't say that!"

"I made my parents miserable."

"No, they quarrel because they love you."

Naoko-san explained with a firm face.

Shuji Tsushima shook his head, unwilling to say any more.

In fact, the most recent parenting made him miserable, too.

Obviously, as long as he ignored him like before and let him grow freely in this mansion, it would be fine.Maybe one day he will be like a weed in the corner, struggling to emerge from the wall.

However, the parents unanimously put some kind of desire on him.

The father wanted his youngest son to go to school normally, so as to strengthen his image as a member of parliament who is friendly to the people.

But within a few days, he compromised with his mother, because he didn't want to see news of the estrangement between Mr. Tsushima and his wife in the newspaper.

As for the mother, it was more like seeing him as a substitute for her dead brother, as her own spiritual comfort.

It seemed like he couldn't live without him.

However, even if he loses his mother, he won't really die.

Most human beings are like this, no matter how painful they are, they will subconsciously find a reason for themselves to live.

Because many times life is not only the painful side.

For example, his parents are indeed very loving, otherwise they would not have conceived eleven children together.

His youngest sister also happily brought spring flowers to his bedridden brothers, wishing them a speedy recovery.

The servants will sincerely care about Shuji Tsushima who wanders in the house, feel sad for his sick brother, and worry about the quarreling hostess and hostess.

But these did not prevent parents from venting their anger towards each other, sisters hating their brothers, and servants talking about each other.

A person's life is so shallow, so hypocritical, so contradictory!

He is doomed not to be able to pin the meaning of his existence on ordinary people's pursuit of happiness.

These are just the vague thoughts in the mind of six-year-old Shuji Tsushima.At that time, he sighed boredly in the mansion more, feeling sad that he couldn't go to school.

Although children of the same age did not share a common language with him, it was better to stay in school than to stay in this Tsushima house that looked spacious but was actually cramped and scary.

The turning point of things happened when a guest visited.

The person who came was a handsome man who was about the same age as his father and a beautiful child who was about the same age as himself.

At that time, Shuji Tsushima, who was not allowed to go out, could only entertain guests with his father because all the other children in the Tsushima house went to visit his uncle's house with their mother.

The handsome man called Guang Hongsang by his father has a pair of bright golden eyes, looking at people with sincerity and enthusiasm.

While his father and adults hugged to reminisce about the old days, Shuji Tsushima secretly looked at the child brought by the other party.

The child is also looking at him.

Those golden eyes are as golden as those of an adult, not as dazzling as the sun like his father's, but more like a round moon.

Apart from his eyes, he also has long purple-gray hair, which looks very similar to the purple silk scarf in his mother's closet.

He is a pretty boy like a little girl.

This is not the first time Shuji Tsushima has seen him.

A week ago, the Tsushima family attended a certain funeral together.

At the funeral, a little boy with purple hair and blond eyes in a black children's suit stood in front of the tomb blankly, his face was so beautiful that he couldn't be real, his face was expressionless, and the guests in the front row talked about it.

It is said that the protagonist of the funeral was the boy's mother, who had always been weak and sick.

The boy looked heartless as an only child at the funeral without crying.

Tsushima Shuji felt disdainful.

Although he is an adult, he is actually only older than his brains, so he didn't realize that he was crying?

Sadness was about to overflow in those golden eyes.

Shuji Tsushima has seen that look in his mother many times.

But why?

Wouldn't it be a good thing that the boy's mother was also suffering from illness?

Like his two older brothers, ashes return to ashes and return to eternal peace.

Shuji Tsushima couldn't help asking.

"Death is something to be happy about, why are you crying?"

At that moment, the gold that caught the eye turned silvery white.

The world has changed wonderfully, and it seems that there are only two of them in the whole cemetery.

Until Shuji Tsushima's fingers touched the boy's cheek.

The world is noisy again.

At that time, Shuji Tsushima was keenly aware of the difference between the two.

"Xiuzhi, this is Uncle Guanghong."

The introduction of his father interrupted Shuji Tsushima's memories.

Shuji Tsushima greeted the other party obediently, "Uncle Mitsuhiro."

The man smiled brightly at him, and admired him from the bottom of his heart: "It's so cute."

Then he pulled the little boy beside him.

"This is my son Xiyue Xiao, let's go play together."

"Xiaojun is a few months younger than you, take good care of him." Father instructed.

Shuji Tsushima agreed and took the little boy back to his room.

The little boy looked very curious, but he didn't act disrespectfully. On the contrary, he followed Shuji Tsushima in a regular manner until the two sat opposite each other.

"Tsushima-san..." the boy said.

However, Shuji Tsushima interrupted before finishing speaking, "Don't call me Tsushima-san, there are thirteen Tsushima-san here."

The boy showed a reserved and sweet smile.

"Then I'll call you Azhi! You can call me Xiyue. Although my father's surname is also this, everyone calls him by his first name directly, so I'm the only one here, Xiyue."

"Eve Moon."

Shuji Tsushima did as he wished, but he didn't tell him that, except for himself, the names of all the older brothers in the family ended with "治".

Anyway, no one would call them that. In this family, calling them by their first names is already the greatest intimacy.

"Is Aji studying at Qingjin Elementary School?"

When getting along, Xiyue Xiao asked casually.

Shuji Tsushima curled his mouth, "Mom won't let me go because I'm not in good health."

"Aji wants to go?"

"Of course I do." Tsushima Shuji sighed exaggeratedly, and then asked slyly, "Xizuki has a solution?"

Xiyue Xiao promised, "No problem!"

Shuji Tsushima was startled, then turned his head disdainfully.

"Xiyue really loves to talk big!"

"You trust me!"

"If you can do it, Xiyue will give it a try!"

That was the second time they met, and the two made a promise about believe it or not.

The author has something to say: Dazai’s family refers to the three-dimensional, and the general framework is correct. For example, his family is very famous in the local area. He has eleven brothers and sisters. He is the sixth son. He is not valued by his father. His mother His health was poor, and his two elder brothers died young.

The rest of the details are made up by me, don't take it seriously.

This part can be considered as a complement to Dazai's setting according to my shallow understanding, and it is normal to have discrepancies, because it is a second creation, and the author must have his own ideas.

The reason why Da Zai was called Xiyue's surname directly was because for him at that time, there was only one Xiyue, which belonged to him.

The title of the article has been changed, thank you for your feedback!Chirp!

感谢在2020-06-0617:34:45~2020-06-0711:50:37期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angel of irrigation nutrient solution: 1 bottle of Ranbu adults;

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!