gray love

No.12 of January, wrapped in a gray-white coat in the midst of flying, I looked at the gray-white sky and was in a daze. At that time, my eyes were so clear, revealing gloomy sunshine and gray-white longing.

She walked to the podium, opened the textbook, turned around gracefully, wrote a beautiful blackboard writing, and read one after another Zhang Ailing, one after another Dai Wangshu, I looked at her fascinated, sometimes my eyes met, She swept across naturally, but I "had passed the Ten Thousand Mountains in a light boat", I followed her gaze, but I was afraid of her gaze, afraid that her clean eyes were full of words: You are mine. Students, just my students.

Xu Yangyang did not drop out of school, but I never knew how Xiao healed the injured girl so thoroughly, until many years later, I heard in a foreign country that she was admitted to a key university After I found an enviable job and a happy family, I looked at the gray sky outside the window, and thought of Xiao, and the scene where she climbed over the railing in those dazzling high heels that night, and the warm yellow Those two pairs of roller skates under the light reminded her of her flushed cheeks...

Her class always ended so quickly, I watched her walk out of the classroom, then lowered my head and pretended to be reading seriously, waiting for her to pass by my window, and then sucked in her remaining breath hard .Suddenly I feel so wretched, like... a wretched uncle, peeping at my goddess with disgusting saliva.

Goddess, hehe, I wryly smiled and touched the nerves on my face. Today is my goddess' birthday, but I stretched out my empty palms to caress my anxious and tangled heart.

It's her birthday today, I repeated, looking at the ceiling with flames dancing in my eyes, then, hanging my head, tugging at my head, turned off the fire.

She will watch a movie with her boyfriend today, she will receive a large bouquet of flowers today, she will have a reserved seat for them in a western restaurant today, and she will blow out candles and make a wish that will last forever with the person in front of her. Today, I will snuggle with him and take a selfie, and then announce in the circle of friends that I hope to spend my birthday with him every year.

I laughed, laughing so crazy, but even so, even though she belonged to him every moment, I still wanted to say happy birthday to her in vain.

So, when school was over in the afternoon, I braved the heavy snow and went to a nearby cake shop, bought a six-inch small cake and hid it in the hole of my table.

Waiting for evening self-study and school.

Still in that place, this time I still didn't bring an umbrella, I didn't throw it away on purpose, but forgot it in the cake shop, because I was so ecstatic after buying the cake that I lost it until I was in the teaching building I saw myself on the glass door under the window, covered in silver, and then I knew that I had lost something.

She came, I dodged to stop her.

"Hey!"

She was startled, looked at my slightly mysterious smile, and said, "Where are you going to abduct me this time?"

I scratched my head in embarrassment, holding the cake tightly with my left hand.

"Didn't bring an umbrella again? Let's go." Xiao walked forward, and I called her to stop.

"teacher…"

She looked back, looked at me and said, "Huh? What's the matter?"

"Happy birthday." I said with a smile. Just as I was about to take out the cake hidden behind my back, she suddenly said suspiciously, "Birthday? What? Did you make a mistake?"

I froze for a moment and stuttered: "No... Today, isn't it your birthday?"

"Who told you?" Her expression was not very happy, she was so serious today.

"I read your personal information, it said... today." I was extremely nervous, and I was so afraid that she would slowly hate me.

"No wonder you know everything about me." She frowned and looked at me sternly. "Aren't you doing nothing every day? Isn't studying stressful enough?"

I bowed my head and remained silent.

"If you don't feel nervous enough and have spare time, you can memorize Xu Zhimo's poems, Xi Murong, Sanmao, and Haizi's poetry and prose!" She criticized and educated me like a teacher. No, she is the teacher.

She left and left me.

I threw the cake the same way I threw the stuff out of my hand in some hospital a few months ago.

Then, I ran to the bookstore in front of the school which was about to close under the heavy snow that could never end, and bought all the works by Xu Zhimo, Xi Murong, Sanmao, and Haizi. The bookstore owner looked at me in surprise. One book after another was placed in a cardboard box and carried on the shoulders, walking into the snow, leaving a series of heavy footprints.

All night long, I memorized Xu Zhimo's "Snow Flower's Happiness", "Shayan Nala", "Singing the Fallen Leaves", "This is a Cowardly World", "Go", "One Star Weak Fire", "Looking for a Star", "No Longer My Obedient", "I Have a Love", "News", "Midnight Pine Wind" and so on.But I didn't recite "Farewell to Cambridge" because it was already dawn.

I opened my dark eyes and went to class. She never looked at me again, and even ordinary glances were hard to give, but I listened to her every day and recited his (her) poems seriously. He (her) They wrote essays until I successfully scored full marks in the final essay.

Thirteen nights, he (she) accompanied me for thirteen days, and then gave me a good score.

The perfect score for the essay was told by Xiao through a text message. At that time, we were already on vacation. At that time, I was sitting in front of the floor-to-ceiling window covered with blankets and carrying Xu Zhimo's words on my back: I will be in the sea of ​​people

Visit my one and only soul mate;

if I get it I am lucky, but if not, it is fate.

I have huge dark circles under my eyes and my mouth is foaming.

After the Chinese New Year, she went home, she must have gone home, who can wander in an unaccompanied city.I went back to the big villa and sent away all the servants, because they also have family members, and they also want to celebrate the New Year.

And me, my family, huh, where is it?

In the end, they came back, in a hurry, and left after eating the dumplings they bought on the first day of the new year. I didn’t cry or make a fuss. Smiling, someone taught me, she said: "Thousands of classics, filial piety comes first."

I will remember every word she said, and I try my best to forget it, but I can't forget it all the time.

She was in another city, amidst the laughter, on the rooftop full of fireworks, in the arms of her boyfriend, looking at each other affectionately, smiling happily.And I, the me at this time, in a big empty house, in the suburbs where no firecrackers and fireworks can be heard, can only hug a thick collection of poems, curl up on the sofa with bare feet...

The author has something to say:

good night