you are so tender

When Xu Man said, "Do I have to let Jiaojiao know that I am her biological mother?" It was like asking a question, but she already had the answer, and Tian Xiaohui didn't need to answer.So, without waiting for Tian Xiaohui to speak, Xu Man continued: "Xiaohui, I think so. Anyway, I have returned to Zhongshan now, which is equivalent to returning to my daughter. Think about how I left here without looking back , even if my daughter recognizes me as a mother, what can I do for her? Fortunately, with you taking care of Jiaojiao, I can leave with peace of mind. If no one can trust me, I think I will probably leave my daughter. In this way, Xiaohui, I can’t say with a clear conscience how much I love Jiaojiao. In the final analysis, when I have to make a choice in life, I still regard giving up my own flesh and blood as a part that can be given up under the excuse of last resort. Yes, I It can be said that, in order to make myself feel better, it can be said that my daughter is a part of me, and I can't bear to leave her, but in fact I have to. This shows that after all, I am me, and Jiaojiao is Jiaojiao, regardless of me The reasons for leaving her are justified and the circumstances are justifiable. I left her because of me, not because of her. This is my choice, not Jiaojiao's. You can also deny me. When Yang Guangzhi and I divorced, Jiaojiao was so young, and she quickly forgot until she completely forgot about a mother who left on her own initiative, which is perfectly normal.

"Xu Man," Tian Xiaohui interjected, "I firmly believe that you love Jiaojiao, so you don't have to blame yourself too much. You can think about things like this, which shows that you are selfless in your heart. Why do you feel that you are too selfish after all?"

"Xiaohui," Xu Man said, "I'm afraid I won't be able to reach the state of selflessness in my heart. I just want to go into the bottom of my heart and find out where the 'selfishness' is? If I was born with a selfish heart, then No need to look for it. It’s not that I can’t find it, but I can’t see the darker depths in the dark body. I think I must have selfishness, but it’s not so selfish as to be boundless. Now I feel that two Extreme people are the best. Either, as you said, you can truly be selfless in your heart, unselfish, dedicated to benefiting others, and only consider others in everything, without yourself. Or, as I said, there is only one me in your heart, no one Not to mention, other people are hell. In my opinion, mortals can’t do such extremes. Completely bad and completely good are equally difficult. I think I’m just a mortal, and if I can’t do difficult things, I must always Facing the frequent difficulties in ordinary life, I have been struggling between "self" and "selfishness". On the one hand, I pursue my own glory and dreams, and on the other hand, I restrain the expansion and spread of selfishness, constantly survey the boundaries, and calm down friction and conflicts. , talk to each other and negotiate a solution.”

"I really think what you said is very good! But, Xu Man, you want mother and daughter to recognize each other, isn't that selfish?" Tian Xiaohui said.

"I also thought so at the beginning, and I thought it was justified." Xu Man said, "Is there anything wrong with a mother who recognizes her daughter? But when I think about it seriously, I am not so confident. It was I who left Jiaojiao, not Jiaojiao who left me. Now it is I who want to recognize mother and daughter, not Jiaojiao. All of this starts from myself, whether I leave Jiaojiao or find Jiaojiao, it is up to me I have the final say, I can do whatever I want, there is no such thing as doing what I want in the world! Not to mention whether I think I can do it or not, this matter should be viewed from a different angle, from Jiaojiao's standpoint, Then, it may be clear whether I am selfish or not."

"Well, it makes sense." Tian Xiaohui said, "I just proceeded from human nature and said that in order to better love children, you should let your mother and daughter recognize each other. The phrase 'in order to better love children' sounds like The selflessness in my heart gave the mother and daughter a legitimate reason to recognize each other. Thinking about it now, if you start from loving your child, you should consider the child's own needs. Xu Man, you are right to think that way."

"Xiaohui, you are really considerate." Xu Man said happily, "Do you know why I love you? It is because you are considerate."

"Are you here again?" Tian Xiaohui immediately responded, "Xu Man, do you know why I love you? It's because I have to love you."

The two expressed their affection to each other as if they were joking, looked at each other, and pouted to show off their cuteness.Tian Xiaohui smiled and said, "Okay, start from the standpoint of our daughter, why don't you want mother and daughter to recognize each other again." So Xu Man continued.

"Fortunately, when I got divorced, Jiaojiao was young, ignorant, and didn't recognize people. Otherwise, Jiaojiao knew that there was a mother like me, but she abandoned her and ignored her. It would be a great harm to the child. It's not as good as it is now. , she didn't know this happened at all. Xiaohui, do you think so? And when Jiaojiao started kindergarten and knew that every child had a mother and father, she was lucky to have Zhou Lijuan as a good mother. Thanks also to my mother-in-law, Chen Caixia, who found a new wife for her recently divorced son non-stop. For Jiaojiao, she has never lost her mother. As her biological mother, I should not ignore this. I should be very, very grateful that Jiaojiao did not suffer the inevitable harm caused by the divorce of her parents. For this reason, I not only I should be grateful to Jiaojiao's stepmother, and even shake hands with her unintentional former mother-in-law. Since I am Jiaojiao's biological mother, if I really love my daughter, I should start everything from her happiness instead of Starting from the pain of losing my daughter. We just experienced that unexpected encounter in the morning. Didn’t I just can’t bear my own pain, so I was so eager to find a way to recognize the mother and daughter? This is too obvious. It can be denied. I clearly want to alleviate my own pain, but why is it for our daughter?"

Xu Man's introspective and guilty words let Tian Xiaohui see Xu Man's calmness and objectivity as a professional lawyer. At the same time, Tian Xiaohui was also moved by Xu Man's feelings of cleanliness and self-discipline.Because Tian Xiaohui witnessed the scene where the mother and daughter were close to each other, and she couldn't bear the pain of her loved one. She never thought that Xu Man could walk out of her own pain in a blink of an eye, and she couldn't help but feel Xu Man again. The extraordinary courage contained in it.Tian Xiaohui didn't know that when Xu Man and her were using the balance of love to weigh their daughter's happiness and their mother's pain, Xu Man had already quietly completed another balance based on the same principle and discipline.

In order to abide by the moral principles of legal marriage, to prevent formal loyalty from turning into substantive betrayal, and to prevent her awakened love from becoming a slave to a sloppy marriage, Xu Man chose divorce without hesitation.When she counted the price of freedom, she did not attribute the loss of her daughter to the cruelty of her father and the inexplicable anger of her ex-husband.She also started from the pain of losing her daughter, and carried the pain with her, but she did not exaggerate the separation of life and death, did not lose her mind because of the pain, and did not regard the pain itself as the object of entertainment and the basis of existence because it was unbearable or impossible to get rid of. First, I shielded the pain of others with myopia, and then filtered out other pains with color blindness. Finally, it seemed that there was only one kind of pain in the world and all of it was given to one person.Xu Man is Xu Man, Xu Man is not such a person, she borders Yang Guangzhi's pain on the edge of her own pain, she reviews her possible faults or faults with harsh standards, and does not worry about her ex-husband's troubles and psychological problems caused by this. Unbalanced and so guilty that he would rather see the pain he has endured as an inevitable punishment.

Xu Man, who is introspective in pain, is still the correct judgment necessary to get rid of or eliminate pain itself.She sees that the person who needs to tie the bell to untie the bell is now reduced to a passer-by in her daughter's eyes. If she wants to fly through the strange time and transform herself into the mother A in her daughter's eyes, she must first resolve Yang Guangzhi's feelings towards her. Accumulating grievances and anger, regaining his self-esteem as a husband who was knocked down, helping him clear the knots in his heart, and helping him regain his confidence in love.However, just when Xu Man almost decided to reveal to her ex-husband the real reason why she had to divorce, a factor that had not been considered before but would inevitably appear in the balance suddenly flashed in Xu Man's consciousness.If it is said that she did not disclose her sexual orientation during the divorce, which caused Yang Guangzhi to become angry and severed her relationship with her daughter, then it is entirely possible that because of this disclosure, she will pull out the carrot and bring out the mud, and even drag Tian Xiaohui into the An embarrassing situation, because until now, she is not alone, there is Tian Xiaohui in her life, Tian Xiaohui also has a son who lives with his father but she can still be close to.If Tian Xiaohui was dragged into the role of Lala, and Ding Jianjun used this as an excuse not to let Tian Xiaohui see his son again, then Tian Xiaohui would actually lose his son.Realizing this made Xu Man shudder.She couldn't risk losing their son Xiaolei for the sake of mother and daughter's recognition, and for their daughter Jiaojiao.What's more, Xu Manxing made such a risky move, but he was not sure that Yang Guangzhi would forgive him. She confessed her real identity in front of him, and he asked her to restore her real identity in front of his daughter.Because Xu Man's late disclosure may make Yang Guangzhi eliminate his grievances but increase his contempt. He can completely refuse to let his daughter accept a gay mother with new legitimate reasons like Ding Jianjun did.Xu Man thought about it, perhaps she shouldn't have imagined Ding Jianjun or Yang Guangzhi so badly, but she clearly knew that she made such a judgment not to presume others as bad, but to live in the mundane world, and homosexuality can be seen by people. Easily recognized as unbearable.Once she was concerned about Tian Xiaohui's son, Xiaolei, Xu Man immediately discovered a serious inappropriateness in her role in the inconvenient balance. Since she was no longer a single Lala, she had no right to be involved in the other party who obviously shared weal and woe. The client, Tian Xiaohui, made any decision independently on whether to disclose her identity to any third party.

Tian Xiaohui didn't know that Xu Man had already made the decision to give up mother-daughter recognition in another form of weighing, although in Tian Xiaohui's view, Xu Man's starting point of love and self-sacrifice were enough to make the decision. Smart and correct decision.She didn't know that Xu Man had experienced two kinds of thinking and consideration at the same time: one was to cultivate the plank road openly, and the other was to hide the old warehouse; one was for their daughters, and the other was for their sons; Ra's love and affection.

"Xu Man, let's stop today. Your self-criticism has reached the point of ruthless self-criticism. Even if you want to alleviate your own pain, it is justifiable. Otherwise, it is better to look at things in the long run. Now it seems that the time for your mother and daughter to recognize each other is not yet ripe, let's wait a little longer. In the past, you were in Wuhan, where mountains and rivers were far away, and it was not easy to meet your daughter. Now your daughter is close at hand, and you can see her whenever you want , It’s more convenient than seeing our son. It’s just that we are temporarily short of our status. Let’s adjust our mentality and put more emphasis on substance than status.” When Tian Xiaohui said this, she had secretly brewed a plan in her heart: “I have to think about it first. Think carefully about how to talk to Yang Guangzhi, it's not convenient for Xu Man to come forward, so I should handle it."

"You're right, Xiaohui." Xu Man didn't know that Tian Xiaohui had other plans, she said, "Then let's go, stop by the market to buy something, and I'll make dinner."

The turmoil caused by Tianxin Park's outing subsided in this way.Xu Man unilaterally decided to shelve the issue of mother-daughter recognition indefinitely, but Tian Xiaohui quietly took the matter to heart.But no matter Xu Man or Tian Xiaohui, on the road of mother and daughter getting acquainted, they both set the goal of clearing obstacles on the only one person.None of them expected that it was another person who finally broke the ice and opened the route.And this other person, they should have thought of it but didn't think of it.As mothers, they should have thought that only one mother in the world can understand the pain of another mother who lost her loved ones.