say i love you again

76.

At this moment, hearing Jing Xuan speak slowly, Mu Yan's brows tightened.

"I just need you by my side, Mu Yan. I've thought about it. For me, this is what I need...I need you." With her back to Mu Yan, Jing Xuan slowly came to a conclusion, Her normally soft hair hung down, covering her side face, while her thoughts froze, she unconsciously clenched the handle of the mug. "...So, I don't care if you love me or not now, because even I can't help myself..."

Jing Xuan stopped in her sobs, the words fell to the ground in the cold air, the room was silent for a moment, but the heavy atmosphere remained in the air, entangled with the breath between the two of them every time they breathed, so the two Every breath and every heartbeat of a person is so clear, as if the background noise in this space cannot be closed, oppressive and suffocating.

"But that's not what I want."

After an unknown amount of time, Mu Yan heard herself speak.But she did not say these words impulsively, but based on her thoughts at the moment, but the words turned from thoughts still made her feel strange. "Jingxuan, I'm sorry, you don't care if I love you or not, but I do. I care if two people love each other in a relationship."

Now, as if she was afraid that she didn't say it, Mu Yan repeated it again.

She took a breath, the damp and cold air occupied her nostrils with icy coldness, but her thoughts became clearer because of it, so she walked up to Jing Xuan's side, and took her hand that was holding the mug tightly, the knuckles were already white . "And, Jingxuan, you are very good, you should not only deserve such a relationship."

When she returned to Jingxuan's hand, Mu Yan's heart trembled.

Jing Xuan's hands were very cold, even though the cup of hot cocoa she was holding was still smoking slightly in the air, the back of her hands was still so cold that it made people feel distressed.

──Is it because of how much she has been hurt in past relationships that Jing Xuan chose to only have a reassuring relationship when she had no choice but to retreat?

Thinking about it, she wiped away the tears on Jing Xuan's face with her fingertips, and Mu Yan's eyes were also red. "I'm not important, but I can see that you care about Weiran. You like this, shouldn't just want to be at ease, but have no love for each other."

"I'm sorry, I don't have the ability to love you, and I have the courage to face these things until now, my cowardice must have hurt you..." Gently holding Jing Xuan's face, seeing the frightening tiredness and fragility on Jing Xuan's face , Mu Yan murmured. "But I am willing to accompany you, to walk with you through the things that make you sad..."

Listening to what he said, Jing Xuan raised her eyes, she was reluctant to let go of her dark eyes, which were glinting with tears and mist. In Mu Yan's view, those eyes should once be as bright as stars in the night sky, so beautiful that it takes one's breath away. Not as gloomy as it is today.

Thinking about it, she couldn't help stroking Jing Xuan's face, Jing Xuan's lips were tightly pressed, she held Mu Yan's hand, and without saying a word, she stepped on her toes, before Mu Yan could react, Jing Xuan's lips gently moved , she kissed Mu Yan tenderly.

The kiss like a dragonfly's touch of water came lightly and quickly, and then left after a short pass, like a bird that would not stop, picking up the ears of rice on the ground and flying back into the air with wings.

Mu Yan was stunned. When she came back to her senses, it was Jing Xuan who smiled softly.

In that smile, nostalgia was faint, but the meaning of reluctance was silent.

"There is still no way... Mu Yan, just like what you said, for you, I really can't get back the throbbing I felt for Wei Ran..." Saying this, she let go of Mu Yan's body, and Jing Xuan stepped back .

It's just that the suddenly increased distance between the two of them, a few tiles across the floor, seemed to put an insurmountable barrier in front of them.

The bitterness in the words could not be stopped for a while, Jing Xuan continued. "So, Mu Yan, I am sorry for you, I am too selfish, abused your reluctance and tenderness to me, and forced you to stay by my side..."

Speaking of this, Jing Xuan covered her lips, disobedient tears flowed down the corners of her eyes and filled her cheeks, and her body trembled slightly. "I didn't even ask you, what kind of relationship do you want, I only think of myself, how is this me different from Weiran..."

She raised her eyes, but saw Mu Yan frowning. In the next second, she stepped over those insignificant floor tiles, and hugged Jing Xuan into her arms.

Jing Xuan was stunned, this was the first time Mu Yan took the initiative to hug her.

"Jingxuan, I don't know Weiran well enough, so I can't answer your question." At this moment, Jingxuan heard Mu Yan say softly. "But I know you have tried your best. With your personality, you must have tried your best to love me, but love may really be impossible to force..."

"Don't be harsh on yourself, I also made mistakes, so don't forgive me so easily." Mu Yan said softly, stroking Jing Xuan's back. "Let's just be friends, shall we... In this way, when you are sad, you don't have to force yourself to be strong, because you still have me, I can make you feel at ease, but I won't make your heart beat, right..."

Saying that, Mu Yan gently let go of Jing Xuan's body, her gentle eyes circled gently in Jing Xuan's eyes, Jing Xuan lightly pursed her lips, and she also saw a clarity that was not there before in Mu Yan's gentle eyes.

──That trace of clarity, and Mu Yan's ability to think so clearly about their relationship today is probably all because of Xu Yaen.

"You've thought it through." Having figured this out, Jing Xuan sighed, and that sigh was faint, with a trace of nostalgia that did not want to let go. "You not only know that you don't love me, but you also think clearly about your feelings for her."