lonely lonely

Lu Xin didn't think to say that I don't believe you, it seems that he and Chen Yuyang were really close, but in fact their relationship may not even be considered as acquaintances.He has been alone for too long, so long that he is slightly autistic, and the feeling of liking is hard-won. Once he likes that person, that person becomes his all sustenance.The same-sex liking can be accepted and responded to, which gives him a kind of strong joy and happiness. Lu Xin is intoxicated in this gorgeous love like moths flying to a flame, but he also clearly knows that the end of being wiped out is also gorgeous to tragic.

In Lu Xin's eyes, Chen Yuyang should be like a master in school, always surrounded by beautiful girls, dare to contradict the teacher when he is not convinced, get along with everyone, and have a girl like Zhao Cheng The grown-up friend would occasionally show his hidden tenderness in his low-pitched singing.

But Lu Xin didn't have these, what he had was 17 years of endless loneliness.

The flawless Chen Yuyang contained all of Lu Xin's admiration and fantasies.

What Chen Yuyang said was right, Lu Xin's stubbornness was hopeless.

Lu Xin simply felt that being with such a beautiful person was terrible, so he had to think again.What's more, the blow of his grandmother's death is unimaginable. The person who depended on him suddenly disappeared. This sudden change cut off the only ray of warmth he had left in this world, and he was pushed into an unknown world without warning. The abyss, the body is falling faster and faster, there is a desperate darkness in front of my eyes, and the heart can't keep up with the speed of the fall, almost breaking through the chest, deep fear is mixed with heartbreaking pain, and in an instant, there is nothing .Lu Xin's pride supports his bottom line, it doesn't matter if no one likes him, and it doesn't matter if no one treats him well, at least there is a grandmother who will feel sorry for him when he cries.

He also has a family and relatives, just like everyone else.

Then, the last piece of driftwood also sank to the bottom of the sea.What should he do, the rest of his life is a gray mess, the chaotic night engulfs the stars and obscures hope.For the first time in Lu Xin's home where he was the only one, he compromised and begged for someone to sympathize with him and give him some even false care.

When Zhuo Fan came to his house anxiously, Lu Xin's grief was over. Although her heart was still fragile, it was a little bit better than being vulnerable.

Zhuo Fan said: "Lu Xin, why don't you come and live with me."

Lu Xin could still smile politely, and refused, "No need."

"But I... Well, when I think of you staying at home alone, I can't help but come and watch to be at ease. Lu Xin, I'm also your half brother. Come and live with me. I want to take care of you. "

I want to take care of you.

What a tempting sentence, if it could have been said a few hours earlier, Lu Xin would definitely be moved to tears again.But the saddest time is over, Lu Xin is unable to dwell on her own misfortune, and the cruel reality cannot be avoided no matter what.

"Are you worried about me? I won't think about committing suicide or something, don't worry."

Lu Xin was too calm, and said such a heavy word as suicide too easily, coupled with an indifferent expression, as if the matter had nothing to do with her.Zhuo Fan suddenly felt sad, hugged Lu Xin into his arms, patted him on the back and said, "I won't leave you alone."

This move was abrupt, but Lu Xin did not resist, leaning obediently on his shoulder, the heat of body temperature warming his cold hands through the thin shirt.

The two were silent for a moment, Lu Xin lowered her head, and Zhuo Fan asked again: "Live with me, okay?"

Lu Xin looked up and looked around, as if she wanted to remember this room, and said, "After this semester, I will move to my grandparents' place."

Zhuo Fan stroked Lu Xin's hair, "OK."

The following Monday, Chen Yuyang met Lu Xin at school as usual, and passed by their class in the morning after collecting homework, and went to the office to hand it to the teacher.Chen Yuyang wanted to give Lu Xin time to think and heal, and he was not in a hurry to appear in front of him, so as not to be speechless and embarrassing again.Anyway, Lu Xin will be taken care of by Zhuo Fan, so nothing serious will happen.Chen Yuyang glanced at Lu Xin at that time every day, secretly missing and caring.

But thinking about this kind of thing, the more you think about it, the more you think about it, the closer you will to the demonic barrier.Chen Yuyang endured the hard work and began to feel empty with regret.Fortunately, the upcoming final exam saved him, his homework doubled, and his class was increased a lot. People who are about to enter the third year of high school are not qualified to spend a lot of time thinking about things.Chen Yuyang forced himself to calm down and busily reviewed for a while, but his test scores improved a lot.The family is very happy, the teacher is very happy, and Chen Yuyang is also very happy. The summer vacation is just about to start, and he can use a vacation time to get close to Lu Xin.

However, at this time Zhuo Fan told him that Lu Xin moved to City C, not only that, but also the school.

Lu Xin went to City C alone this summer. With a little nostalgia and painful memories, she quietly disappeared from the city that witnessed him growing up.Sitting on the train, Lu Xin looked blankly at the moving scenery outside the window, and thought of a word: drifting away.A lot of people's appearances flashed in my head, Zhao Cheng, Zhuo Fan, Yang Fei, and even the aunt in the school cafeteria who always cooks extra meals for her... At the end of her turn, Chen Yuyang smiled slightly, but Lu Xin didn't. I've seen Chen Yuyang with such a gentle smile, but when I think of him, I think it should be like this.Lu Xin silently said goodbye in her heart, but she didn't know who to listen to.

So, goodbye, grandma.Bye now……

City C is just around the corner, and it can be reached in a few hours by train.But Chen Yuyang felt that if this went on like this, he would never see Lu Xin again, even the extravagant hope of having a quick glance every morning - this was cheating at all, how could he leave without saying goodbye so cruelly?

Chen Yuyang hated, hated very, very much.

Lu Xin went back to her grandparents' hometown in C City. The two old people who had been away for a long time were very excited to see Lu Xin. They looked at him for a long time and couldn't speak, and finally sighed: "Xiao Xin...you Grandma is gone, don't be too sad, grandpa and grandma are still here." Lu Xin smiled cutely at the two of them, and said, "Yes, I know."

Lu Xin didn't have much luggage, and she packed it up in a short while. Standing in the vacated room, she felt a sense of desolation.I lived here when I was a child, but after all, I am still young, and now I have no memory of it at all.Grandpa and grandma also haven't seen each other for a long time, and there is a little strangeness between their eyebrows, as if they don't look like this.This is not what it used to be, this is his only place to stay, and he will always stay here in the future. Thinking of this, the corners of Lu Xin's eyes became moist, but he smiled again, holding back the faint tears.

It doesn't matter, even if there is really only one person, he can still live proudly.

This is his belief and faith.

The life here with the two old people is dull and boring. Fortunately, Lu Xin is used to it. She will not feel bored at home reading books and doing exercises without going out for a summer vacation.Boredom is not boring, but it will be tired, the weakness that arises from the bottom of my heart, and I am sick all day long and have no energy.

At the end of the summer vacation, when various stationery stores on the street were offering discounts to welcome the arrival of the new semester, Chen Yuyang came to City C.