lonely lonely

Zhuo Fan wanted to go to have a look together, but Chen Yuyang blocked the door.Lu Xin's sleeping face was peaceful and quiet, and the intertwined tears were still faintly visible, stained with a tinge of desolate sadness.The situation was caught off guard, and Chen Yuyang didn't understand what happened, so he lay down on the bed in a state of anxiety, closed his eyes and fell into a light sleep for a while.Lu Xin slept until noon the next day. When she woke up, her eyes were sore and she couldn't figure out the situation for a while. She saw Chen Yuyang standing by the bed and asked, "What's wrong with me?"

Chen Yuyang couldn't help but laugh at his question, and replied: "You suddenly cried yesterday, and then fell asleep."

Lu Xin remembered, her expression darkened again.

Chen Yuyang said: "When you cried, you didn't make any sound or speak. You almost scared me to death."

"I didn't mean to, I just couldn't make a sound."

"Ok?"

"I can't make a sound when I cry."

Chen Yuyang was puzzled, "How could this happen?"

"When I was young, I was always ridiculed, and the classmates in the class even jointly excluded me... At that time, I burst into tears every day when I came home. Every time my grandma saw me, she hugged me in her arms and coaxed me, but coaxed me, she I also started crying with me. Later, when I was crying, I hid in the room and held back my voice, so that my grandma would not find out...Who would have thought that it has become a habit now."

Lu Xin was very calm when she said this, but the people who heard it were hard to be calm. Chen Yuyang covered Lu Xin's hand, interlocking his fingers, entangled and clenched tightly, trying to pass on something within his power, strength, comfort, warmth... …

"Looking back, it's all just because I was young and ignorant, and it's been so long..." At this point, Lu Xin seemed to smile, but her expression was still in a daze, "But I still can't forget , At that moment of resentment and hatred, desperate predicament, no one helped me."

Lu Xin suddenly brought up these painful pasts and said that something was wrong.The more Chen Yuyang listened, the more disturbed he became, he tried to call out, "Lu Xin?"

Lu Xin was numb and asked, "Am I pitiful?"

Chen Yuyang was anxious, "What happened?"

Uncertainly breaking away from Chen Yuyang's hand, Lu Xin got out of bed and opened the curtains, and the bright light came in, making his face pale and bloodless.Lu Xin turned around and faced Chen Yuyang. Against the white light and buried in the thick shadow, she said in a very soft voice, "My grandma is dead."

Chen Yuyang couldn't hear clearly, "What?"

Lu Xin raised her volume and repeated to Chen Yuyang: "My grandma is dead."

"He died suddenly of a heart attack on the road a few days ago, but no one told me that they kept it from me. They all lied to me that grandma went to live with a relative."

Chen Yuyang was stunned for a moment, his head was in chaos, and he didn't know how to react at all.

"land……"

"I'm ok."

"You, don't be sad..."

"Thank you for accompanying me yesterday, it's all right now, you can go back."

"I'll stay with you for a while."

"no need."

Chen Yuyang said: "You still have me."

There was a slight fluctuation in Lu Xin's heart, which was fleeting. "The ending will still leave, so you can go now."

"Lu Xin, don't do this."

"Chen Yuyang, I am very stubborn." Lu Xin said, "I like someone, and I will love with all my heart without any reservation."

Chen Yuyang heard the clue, and promised: "I will never let you down."

He knew that the current Lu Xin was too fragile to tolerate any harm.

"Chen Yuyang, you don't have me, and there are many other things, your band, your friends, your relatives... But I am different, I only have you. There is no one around me, my dearest and dearest My loved ones are gone, I don't want to experience this kind of pain a second time."

"I'll be by your side."

"If you're gone, no one will even know I'm crying."

"I promise not to leave you."

Chen Yuyang promised over and over again, in order to give Lu Xin a peace of mind.These are not enough, he also wants to give a little more, to warm and protect the weak person in front of him.Lu Xin chuckled and said, "But I can't trust you."

Chen Yuyang thought he heard it wrong.

Lu Xin spoke slowly and clearly, piecing each word into a sharp weapon, piercing into her mind.In an instant, it was cold to the bottom of my heart, and the passionate love was only exchanged for a joke. Lu Xin said that he couldn't trust him.

I thought that all the obstacles were gone, and I was just one step away from consummation, but Lu Xin said that she couldn't trust him.

"Am I so unworthy of your trust—" Chen Yuyang almost cried, "How can I be sorry for you?"

"You didn't apologize to me, it was all my fault."

Such a reason left Chen Yuyang speechless.

"Chen Yuyang, Zhao Cheng once told me that you have always been very assertive, you know what you want and what to do next. So you should understand better than me that you still have a lot to do, and those things are far more important than I'm much more important."

"I don't understand what you're talking about."

"I mean, we can't last long. I'm used to being alone, and I don't need your company."

In an instant, Chen Yuyang seemed to have figured it out.The most important connection between him and Lu Xin was lost - they only knew each other for a few months, and in these short months, what they knew about each other was only a small incomplete part.In the past 17 years, time has flowed and settled, and the long trajectory has passed through memories. Lu Xin and Chen Yuyang have never met each other.

In the lonely past, there was only one close person, and the only person was gone.

The loneliness of 17 years has chilled love. In Lu Xin's world, Chen Yuyang is a lingering dream, so beautiful that it will break at the touch of a finger.

Lu Xin is not only stubborn, but also very narrow-minded.It seems that honor and disgrace are not surprising, but he clearly remembers every detail of the injury.He remembered that Chen Yuyang hated him, he remembered that Chen Yuyang was hostile to him, he also suspected that Chen Yuyang was not dedicated enough, and even felt that Chen Yuyang could not be relied on... Lu Xin had seen many different Chen Yuyang, the gentle sunshine, the irritable and unruly... ...Which one is the real Chen Yuyang?

Which one is not the real Chen Yuyang?

Which is.

Lu Xin was lost on the way to the truth, the complete and real Chen Yuyang was standing in front of him peacefully, and said: "Lu Xin, what happened in Zhao Cheng back then was a misunderstanding of your own cleverness, and it is still the same now."

"Do you define people so casually? I've never seen anyone as self-righteous as you."

"It's only now that I realize that you are hopelessly stubborn. If you insist on doing this again, no one will sympathize with you. In fact, you are terribly afraid of being alone, right? But you did it yourself."

Chen Yuyang said sharp and harsh words without mercy.

Tears started rolling again, Lu Xin said: "I don't want your sympathy, get out."

Chen Yuyang didn't take it seriously: "Lu Xin, hold back! Don't cry! No one will love you, your grandma is gone, and you don't want me, so learn to be strong, it's really annoying to see you like this .”

In the end, Lu Xin couldn't hold it back, tears kept falling like rain.Chen Yuyang said: "Then you can cry, cry more miserably, and see if there is anyone who cares about you."

At this time, Lu Xin could not make a sound at all, and her face became even paler.Chen Yuyang stepped back, closed the door, and left his house.Seeing that Chen Yuyang was about to leave, Lu Xin wanted to shout, but she couldn't make a sound. The door slammed shut, cutting off Lu Xin's desperate desire to rush up to hug Chen Yuyang at that moment.

Chen Yuyang found Zhuo Fan and said, "Grandma Lu Xin passed away, please take care of him these few days."

Zhuo Fan reacted for a long time, "His grandma...ah, then don't be so sad!"

"So you watch him more."

"how about you?"

Chen Yuyang smiled wearily, not knowing the meaning.

The author has something to say: ... bless me to successfully complete this pit before the exam, ouch~