do not want to reincarnate

The weather was very hot, and the fans in the dormitory were whirring. I proposed to go ice skating, but my classmates didn't know how to skate and refused to go out. I went out by myself wearing roller shoes.

That day, he called me after a month. Because he was in a hurry to pick up his mobile phone, he accidentally touched a crack in the road collapse, and the fall was ugly.

My cell phone was tightly guarded by me. He said he was here, at the gate of our factory. I was surprised and subconsciously said that I was outside. He asked me where I was in a very anxious tone and he came to find me.

I sent him a location and I moved to the side of the road to sit. My ankle was crooked and I felt a sharp pain. My palm was slightly scratched, and my forearm was also scratched. I took off my skates and put them aside.

That time he came to grab me when he got off the taxi, his serious and fierce expression made me flinch instinctively, he pulled my arm vigorously with one hand and pulled me up, in a very angry tone, I still remember him saying: "It's all you , I have become so strange..."

His appearance frightened me, I asked him carefully what happened, and he punched me suddenly.

It was very painful, my head was buzzing, my face was numb, and I couldn't stand upright, so I fell directly on the concrete floor. The feeling of the cement rubbing against the palm made me unbelievable that the person in front of me hit me.

As for what he said, I was so dazed that I couldn't remember. I saw his mouth open and close, and his eyes widened. I saw confusion and grievance in his eyes. I opened my mouth but couldn't make a sound.

He left, just like the first time we met, leaving me as a wounded person, the only difference is that I may never be friends with him again.

It was really inexplicable at the time, why did you hit me when you suddenly appeared?What am I to blame?What is my fault?I found out later that he blamed me for invading his heart and for making him fall in love with me. I think he probably just discovered his feelings for me at that time, when he was shocked and confused.

That night I called my classmate to ask him to come, and the taxi wasted more than 40 yuan. I don't have time to worry about the money. I just want to think about it by myself, or just sleep.

The classmate gave me the medicine in silence.

I couldn't sleep in the middle of the night, I was so sad that I secretly shed tears, thinking why?

I still went to the hospital the next day. My ankle was injured, so I took a week off. Every day I sat at the balcony door next to the threshold and looked up at the sky.

Whenever this time, my mood is as calm as the sky, I want to go home, I am so tired, my heart is tired.

At that time, I didn't understand where I was wrong, so I sent him a sentence of "I'm sorry", and I didn't even understand why I was sorry, maybe I just wanted to say sorry, that's all.

He, didn't reply me, one month...two months...

I found out that he came to see me secretly one night in late autumn. I went to the bank to transfer money with my classmates after work and went home. On the way back, I accidentally glanced away and saw him. Joy rushed into my heart, and suddenly I thought of thousands of possible ways to break up my joy. With a disturbed heart, I told my classmate to go back first, and I turned around and ran towards the corner where he was hiding.

I ran after him, shouting his name.

He stopped and I asked him why he ran?He looked at me with complicated eyes, and suddenly asked me as if he was going all out: "Do you want to know?"

I don't like the look in his eyes, he immediately frowned, and suddenly approached me and hugged me, and the moment his lips were pressed against his lips, I froze in disbelief.

He said, "You know the answer now, don't you?"

My heart was beating abnormally, I didn't feel nauseous, I didn't feel abnormal, my heart was beating fast as if it was going to burst out of my chest, I looked at him.

He seemed dissatisfied with my attitude, he said: "What? Are you scared? Afraid that you will come after me, are you afraid that I will hit you? I became like this because of you!" He suddenly growled: "Do you know that I It was you in my dream, I talked about my girlfriend, and I still miss you, I want to send you any good things I see, I even think about you, and you, a man, I actually like a man, are you afraid? Think I'm disgusting? Perverted? "

He laughed at himself as he spoke, and I was indeed shocked, but I wasn't afraid. I didn't feel disgusted or abnormal. I was just shocked. I didn't want him to show such a self-deprecating face, so I hugged his waist.

Rubbing through fabric?At the moment when the skin was on my skin, I suddenly wanted to cry. That’s right, I cried. I cried for no reason. Maybe it was the response to the hidden feelings in my subconscious mind. Maybe it was his appearance that made my heart hurt. Anyway, I cried. He froze.

He asked me, "You like me too, don't you?"

I said, "I don't know what liking is, but I don't want to lose you."

He touched my back and said, "This is liking, fool, are you afraid? Both of us are men."

Me: "I'm afraid, but I'm not afraid of what others think of me."

We kissed, I touched his lips nervously, my heart beat fast, my lips were soft and comfortable.

He laughed at me innocently: "Kissing is not like you touch and touch again, like this."

He bit my mouth. Lip. Sucked. My eyes widened in disbelief. I didn't miss the numbness from my lips.

I also tried to allow.His.mouth.lips like him. He touched my face and said sorry. I knew his sorry was an apology for punching me in the face.

Back in the dormitory, my classmates asked me why I was so happy, and I suddenly realized that I was really so happy!Just like eating honey, my heart was so sweet that I tossed and turned all night and couldn't sleep.

He texted me "Goodnight."

He has to go back to work the next day, no matter how reluctant he is, he still has to work after all.

It turns out that this is about falling in love!This is what I like!

I don't hate being close to him, even, I vaguely hope to be close to him, men can't be with men?I'm happy, I'm happy, I just don't let my family know.

In a world where I am lifeless and hopeless for the whole life, he is like my light, warming me.

If my family didn't need me, I might not have met him. If I hadn't met him, I might have lived like a corpse. No one knew how much I wanted to die, and no one knew how much I loved looking at the scissors.

After I knew he liked me, I couldn't stop my jumping heart, and the song "Who Do You Love After All" didn't feel sad anymore.

A week later, he came to me, and I greedily breathed his breath in his arms. Even I didn't know why I became irresistible to get close to people, and even made such a shameful gesture because I liked me.

He was not bad either, his breathing was heavy, and my whole body trembled when he licked it. At that moment, I resisted subconsciously and pushed him away subconsciously.

He frowned at me, and I came back to my senses in a trance, and I was afraid that I would not be able to overcome the hurdles in my heart after all.

After that time he didn't kiss me other than kissing my lips, I feel sorry for him.

There is no air conditioner in the factory in winter, and my fingers are so cold that my classmates always come to hold my hands and rub them together. My classmates’ hands are very skinny. Because they are thin, he always goes to the tea room to hold a water cup and warm his hands to warm me. hand.

But I still chose to leave this classmate who was very good to me, and I promised to go to his city to find a job.

When the classmate heard that I was leaving, he told me while shedding tears. In fact, what he told me was also what I told him.Having been with him for more than a year, I can feel that he has experienced ups and downs that others have not experienced. Even though he likes to laugh, like to dress up like a girl and chatter, he can't hide the sadness in his eyes.

Everyone has secrets in their hearts, and so do I. I can't tell him that I went out of town because I like a man like me, just like he never said anything about him.

At the end of the year, when I resigned from my job and was due to move my luggage, my classmate sent me to the station. In a daze, his smiling face coincided with the time when he picked me up a year ago. But, something has changed. When I step on the train, I will not know what he is going to do tomorrow. What time do you get up, what are you doing, are you singing old love songs again.

There is no banquet that never ends. This sentence can be put in many places, such as me and my classmates now, such as me and him in the future...

He came to pick me up, and the momentary joy of seeing him when I got out of the station covered up my depression. He changed his place to live, and it was still in the community building, on the fifteenth floor.

He strongly urged me to live with him. He said: "You can't go to the factory if you want to find a job. There are no factories around here. The factory is in the suburbs. You want me to let you go to the suburbs? You used to be with your classmates, and there were classmates with you. I'm at ease, how can you make me feel at ease now that I'm here alone?"

I was speechless and wanted to say that I don't need him to worry, but his words also hit my inferiority complex.

He reassured me that it wasn't that the factory was bad, but that it was unsafe in the suburbs.

I thought of that perverted supervisor, and I was afraid that he would go on talking, so I agreed to live with him.

I lived with him for ten days in the half month before the Chinese New Year. He went to work during the day. He worked in a high-level office. He used computers to do mental work, and he was still typing in front of the computer after get off work.

I've looked carefully and can't understand anything.

He smiled and said he could teach me.

He likes to hug me and sit on his lap while working. At first, I would be reluctant and after he forced me a few times, I would automatically find a comfortable position to rest against his shoulder.

The first time I saw his friend, like him, was wearing the high-end clothes in the mall cabinet. In the mall, they met and greeted each other. I wanted to avoid it. He didn't give me a chance and introduced me by pressing my shoulder.

I share a bed with him at night, he likes to hug me, every time I wake up in the middle of the night and push him away in fright, he will coax me like a child when I wake him up, I keep telling myself this is the person I like no will hurt me.

Sometimes he would rub my neck, but no kiss.When I go home during the New Year, I finally look forward to the New Year, and when I meet him, I kiss him in the dark.

He helped me find a job in a bookstore, taught me how to use the keyboard to count and so on, and I didn't disappoint him.

The wages are 200 yuan lower than when I worked in a factory, but I don't have to work so hard.

Going shopping with him after get off work, although we can't hold hands, even if we are separated by the crowd, we still find each other and walk together again.

He still likes to give me meat when eating, so that I can eat more. His shoulder hurts after sitting for a long time. I give him a massage. I don’t know much about it, so I bought a book on massage.

The effect is still possible.