do not want to reincarnate

That day, I wanted him to leave quickly. I felt dizzy and uncomfortable. He seemed to see my thoughts and told me to take good care of myself and left.

I went to the hospital as soon as he left.

I only have dozens of yuan left in my property, and I have no wages from work. I have no wages at all when I calculate my self-resignation like this. I was asked to sign a quick resignation to get half of the wages, but I dare not go again.

And there are always more good people than bad people. A young supervisor came to me with a letter of resignation. He is the nephew of the boss, four or five years older than me. I remember he even pulled my eyelashes. Not long after he entered the factory, He said with a smile that I was a man wearing false eyelashes, and he would pull my eyelashes when he stretched out his hand. When he found out that it was true, he was stunned and quickly apologized to me.

I am very grateful to him. If he hadn't come, I really don't know what I would do. I can't pay the rent.

He lent me 500 yuan, that was the last time we met, after that I never saw him again, until now I haven't repaid him 500 yuan.

At the end of the month, when I received half of the salary, I called the young supervisor to return the money to him, but there was no answer. I didn’t dare to go to the company to find him, so I asked a colleague from the same department to ask and found out that the supervisor had left. Say go back and get married.

Busy, I looked at the people on the road coming and going, and thought of his good man's life in peace.

I lost my job, I thought of my classmate, and called to ask my classmate if the job is still paid?The classmate was very happy to accept it, and I made up my mind to go to the classmate.

Chatting with him on QQ, I didn’t tell him that I was out of work, and I didn’t tell him that I was going to my classmates soon. I like to ask him what he did. I don’t understand a lot of things he said, and he didn’t wait for me to ask. Just explain to me one by one, I like this feeling very much.

Packing up my luggage and leaving the rental house where I lived for four years, looking at the familiar environment around me, I had mixed feelings in my heart.

It was more than an hour's drive to the classmate's place. As soon as I got off the bus, I saw an old classmate who hadn't seen each other for a few years. The beautiful smiling face was very conspicuous in the old station.

Enthusiastically helping me with my luggage, I looked at the thin wrists of my classmates and the old cloth shoes under my feet, and I felt very uncomfortable.

The students live in the dormitory, he said that very few people live in the dormitory.

The condition of the dormitory is very bad. The moss-covered building looks like a haunted house. There are three broken beds in the dormitory, and a pile of boxes and other daily necessities are piled up in a mess. I don’t dislike it, as long as I can live in it.

Lying on the bed at night, listening to my classmates whispering, my thoughts gradually drifted away, thinking about what would happen if he came to find me but found out that I was not the one who rented the house?Thinking about what he is doing now?After thinking about it, I decided to tell him that I moved away.

I don't want to lose him, I'm afraid he'll be angry.

I sent a message to tell him that I quit my job and came to work with my classmates.

After a while, he replied to me that he was taking a shower just now, and then asked me why I quit my job and where are I now?The anxious tone made me feel a deep concern and warmed my heart. I told him the address, and he asked how my classmates were doing, etc.

The next day my classmates took me to see the workers. The factory was covered with a big iron shed, a plastic factory, and the smell was very strong.

The classmate has done a good job for two years. At that time, he was a QC job similar to the current one, an assembly line job, repeating a movement all day, even though the classmate occasionally came to help me, I was still tired and my arms were sore the next day.

I know it’s good to get used to it, but I still feel sad and sad for no reason, because I’m lonely in my heart, I send him a series of messages every day, occasionally revealing that I’m tired from work, and he said he didn’t like it and quit, telling me to go He said he helped me find a job, I just complained, it felt good to be cared about, but I didn't want to leave this job.

The life of my classmates is very monotonous, I hardly go out for a walk, I am very clingy, I always like to cling to my side, like a girl, I also like to dress up.

Maybe God loves me. After the eighth day that I couldn't bear it, I had nothing to do and started to relax. My arms finally got a rest.

On New Year's Day, he called me and asked where I was. He came to my place. I was so excited that I wanted to send him a location. When I saw my old dormitory like a haunted house, I hesitated and told him to go to the nearest supermarket. go to him.

After being taken to a haircut by him again, I was shopping for clothes. I couldn't resist. He suddenly picked me up with a serious face. I screamed in fright. Passers-by looked at me, and I buried my head in his neck in embarrassment.

It was the first time that I was willing to be so close to a person's skin. It was very warm and comfortable. He put me on the ground and I looked at him blankly. He smiled and pulled me into the nearby clothing store.

He asked me to find a job with him, and persuaded me for a long time. I wanted to go but struggled. I didn't fit in with his life. I was afraid that I would go to his place and ask him to take care of me. I didn't think I was very good.

He's going to my place of work, I don't want him to go, I don't want him to look at me with sympathy or contempt.

At the same time, I was also afraid that he would ignore me and go away angrily. In the end, I took him to my work place under the aura of his indifferent face looking at me.

He looked very carefully, I suspect that he did not miss every corner, I took him upstairs, he didn't say a word, the footsteps were eerie and obvious in the narrow stairs, just like I was nervous at the time Heart pounding wildly.

There was music in the dormitory, and I suddenly remembered that I forgot to tell my classmates.

Accompanied by my classmate's tone-deaf singing, I was a little embarrassed. I hesitated for so long that he reached out and opened the dormitory door. The classmate's voice stopped suddenly, and the music accompaniment remained.

I secretly looked at his face, and I relaxed when I saw him smiling. I introduced: "This is the classmate I was talking about." Then I introduced to my classmate: "My friend."

The classmates immediately packed him up as belongings, as if it was embarrassing to see him singing.

He sat all afternoon and then went out to eat at a food stall in the evening. He stayed at the nearest hotel.

Early the next morning, he sent me a message saying that he had gone back, and asked me to think carefully about whether to go to his place.

I really thought about it, I thought, and I was afraid to bother him. We are just friends, and no matter how good a friend is, we can't always bother him.

I hesitated or refused him.

Another year.

When I came back to work after the new year, my mother asked me to bring a lot of zongzi and biscuits. I called and said I would give some to him, but he refused me.

He said he hadn't gone back to work, he said he had a girlfriend, he said he might not have time to come and play with me in the future, he said he might call me less, he said...

My head was in a mess, something stuck in my throat and I was so depressed, it seemed like some organ in my stomach was empty.

I said, "Well, I see."

Since then, I haven't dared to text and call him.

My classmates and I ate zongzi for a few days until we got tired of eating them.

I started to think again why I felt uncomfortable because of him.

I know that men can exercise in bed with men. After all, I have met a pervert, how could I not know.

But the deep-rooted thinking feels that it is a taboo feeling that will be spurned by others, and it is forbidden to see the light. Do I like him?I like it like a couple, but at that time, I had never been in a relationship, so how would I know if I liked it or not.

Confused, I told myself in my heart to stay away from him, for my own family and for him, even if I have nothing to worry about, don't make things difficult for him, staying away from him is what I should do.

We shouldn't know each other. It's right to stay away from him, cut off contact and slowly become strangers.

I didn't contact him again. Occasionally he sent a message, and I also replied monotonously and coldly with "um", "oh", and other words.

The classmate likes to sing, that kind of very old and sad song. He seems to be happy all day long, and occasionally he is in a daze. I can feel his sadness. Everyone has their own story, and I am the same.

Classmates would occasionally cry because of a song. I remember that there was a song called "Who Do You Love?"

Later, I listened to it countless times, sitting on the balcony watching the sunset and humming, my throat and eyes were choking, and the wind dried my wet eye sockets.

The classmate said that he would find a lover in the future, and he felt relieved and hurt when holding each other in his hands. I saw the emotion in his eyes, and I said, "Yes, you will find it."

Day by day, until his birthday, he didn’t ask me for a gift like last year, even, he didn’t give me a message number, I hesitated for a long time, and sent him a red envelope, I forgot how much it was, it seemed more than 100.

My life is so monotonous that listening to my classmate's tone-deaf singing sounds pretty good. Naturally, I also have individual songs, and only "Who Do You Love" is my favorite.

What do you like about this song?Maybe it's the accompaniment, maybe it's the singing voice, maybe it's the sadness that the song carries.

Living with my classmate is quite comfortable, although he is clingy, I don't know why I didn't feel sick, and I realized later that it is the same kind of breath, and there is a kind of friendship similar to a girl's best friend.

At the end of May, I went out to play with my classmates. I took the subway for the first time, and I was so dizzy that I didn’t know the direction. My classmates laughed at me like a bumpkin entering the city, and I was dragged away by him. I was always sensitive to the things around me. Pointing at us, I looked at the classmate's hand hooking my arm. This kind of movement will appear between two better girls and two boys. It is really too weird.

I don't know why I let it go so calmly at that time, no matter what others say, why should I accommodate others?I didn't hinder traffic, didn't steal, rob, or swear, so why should I agree with you if you think it's wrong?Why do you tell me to call my parents with vulgar words? You want me to think you're right?Dislike?very angry?Then you should die of anger, it is best to die, and you will lose a disgusting face.

After I came back that day, I slumped on the bed and went to his QQ space to browse. The posts posted after the Chinese New Year were obviously showing affection. I asked him: "What are you doing?"

He replied quickly: "Watch TV."

Me: "Oh."

Him: "Well."

The topic ended like this, I covered my face and stared blankly at the mosquito net above the bed.

I was at work on my birthday, and I received a courier package from him. It was a beautiful pendant engraved with peace, and I was so excited to wear it.

At that time, I thought that he would not give me expensive gifts, because he would personally deliver expensive things, but I guessed wrong, he spent half a year's salary for that pendant, and went to the temple to consecrate it.