I'll forgive you when you're crazy

I picked up the puppy. The dog didn't look very big, and it was very light to hold.

There is something to hold in my arms, which makes me feel very safe.

Walking along the road, I looked at the surrounding scenery, which was a little strange, but I knew it should be a park or something.

The people I met along the way walked around me, and some people even took pictures with their mobile phones, but I ignored them. Although I really wanted to find a passer-by to borrow money or ask where this place is, but seeing them avoiding it, I Think about it or forget it.

Walking out of this park, I looked around and felt very strange. I have never been here in my memory. How did I get here?

Is my condition getting worse?

I saw a supermarket near the entrance of the park, and I walked in. Maybe it was my luck, maybe my eyes didn't look like a lunatic, and the proprietress of the store didn't drive me away.

"Hello, I'm very hungry now, can you give me a piece of bread on credit?"

The proprietress was in her fifties, and she looked me up and down: "It's not impossible to give you a piece of bread, and it's not worth a lot of money, but why did you make it like this?"

Then, I took a piece of meat floss bread from the shelf and handed it to me. After I took it, I thanked him repeatedly, looked at the dog in my arms, and couldn't help but ask again: "Excuse me, can you give me another one on credit?" Ham sausage? The cheapest one will do.”

The proprietress also seemed to see my intentions, and handed me two ham sausages of the cheapest kind.

I thanked you again and again, then bowed my head and backed out of the room.

Sitting on the side of the road, I unwrapped the ham sausage, gave it to the dog, and then wolfed down the bread after a few mouthfuls. My stomach felt like a bottomless pit, and I didn’t feel full at all.

Going on like this is not an option, so I went back to the supermarket again and asked how to get to the nearby police station.

Having trouble finding the police is currently the only quick fix I can think of for my current predicament.

The proprietress told me very enthusiastically.

Because my sense of direction is very poor, I almost remembered the name of the police station and asked all the way to go there.

After finally getting to the police station, the policemen at the police station saw my appearance and asked me what my name was, where I lived, and what relatives I had.

After I told the truth according to my memory, the policeman at the police station said in surprise, "You are from City H? You came here on foot? No way?"

I was even more surprised: "Where is this place? Isn't it City H?"

The policeman was even more suspicious when he saw my words: "Wait a minute, do you still remember the phone number of your relative?"

It's ironic to say that I can't remember my parents' contact numbers, but I remember Wu Tian's phone number, but if I imagined it before, I guess this phone number can't get through.

With the mentality of giving it a try, the policeman from the police station called the phone.

What I didn't expect was that the phone was connected, and I was very excited, saying that I would come over immediately.

I was a little surprised, I even wondered if it was one of my parents who answered the phone over there?Did I misspell the phone number?

Hearing that I was hungry, the police from the police station bought me instant noodles and mineral water.

Gouzi and I made two bowls of instant noodles together so that the panic-stricken hunger was gone.

After eating and drinking enough, the dog fell asleep on my lap, and I felt sleepy again, but I didn't want to sleep, because I was afraid that if I fell asleep, I would wake up and not know where I was.

So I waited for someone to pick me up, waiting left and right. While waiting, I felt that the time was infinitely extended.

In the end, I couldn't stand it anymore and fell asleep on the chair.

When I was pushed awake, I rubbed my eyes and found that I was still where I was before I fell asleep, and I secretly breathed a sigh of relief.

When Wu Tian's face appeared in front of my eyes, I couldn't help tilting my head and wondering, was I just fantasizing again?

Seeing that I was awake, Wu Tian hugged my head violently.

But I was indifferent, feeling more like a kind of numbness.

What's so exciting about a hallucination?

"Wait." I got up and looked at the policemen who seemed to be "moved", pointed to Wu Tian and asked, "Can you see him?"

The policemen couldn't help being taken aback when they heard the words, and Wu Tian explained with some embarrassment: "I'm sorry, he has some paranoia, and sometimes he can't distinguish reality."

The policemen nodded and looked at me sympathetically, as if my current state of embarrassment was all due to this disease.

Wu Tian wanted to pull me away, but I hadn't heard the answer from those people. I looked at the policemen stubbornly, pointed at Wu Tian and said, "Can you see him?"

One of the female policemen said, "Yes! I can see it! You can go with him!"

I looked at Wu Tian suspiciously, and then at the policeman, maybe what they saw was different from what I saw.

So I asked again: "What do you see? Can you take a picture for me?"

Seeing that I insisted on this, the policewoman reluctantly took a picture of me and Wu Tian.

At this time, I looked at the photos on my phone and realized that I was unshaven and unkempt, just like the lunatics I saw when I was a child.

I never thought that one day I would become this kind of virtue.

But the figure in the photo made me feel certain that there was indeed Wu Tian in the photo, which was the same as what I saw.

I nodded, and after warning those people goodbye, I suddenly remembered that I still owed the supermarket proprietress bread money, so I got into Wu Tian's car with the dog in my arms, and asked him to drive along the road in my memory, but nothing happened. Can't find it.

I knocked on my head annoyed, I just memorized the name of the supermarket, and now I can't even pay back the money.

Seeing me hitting myself on the head, Wu Tian grabbed my wrist and said, "Don't hit me, just look for it slowly if you don't remember it."

Hearing him say that made me feel better.

Looking at Wu Tian, ​​he stretched out his hand and couldn't help pinching his face and said, "Are you really serious?"

Wu Tian sighed helplessly: "Yes! There are witnesses, don't you believe it?"

After finishing speaking, I looked at the puppy lying on me and said, "If you ask it, it won't lie to you, right?"

So I pointed to Wu Tian and asked Gouzi, "Can you see him?"

Of course Gouzi couldn't understand what I said, but he lightly licked Wu Tian's finger.

I was relieved when I saw this, and couldn't help laughing: "That's all right, I'll rely on this dog from now on."

I glanced at Wu Tian and said strangely: "You know I have this disease? Why didn't you send me to a mental hospital?"

Hearing this, Wu Tian looked at me with a complicated expression and said, "You all forgot, you actually gave it away, but..."

When I thought of the white "hell" in the past, I suddenly looked at Wu Tian in surprise: "You didn't expect that I would be released, did you?"

Wu Tian shook his head with a wry smile: "No, I took the initiative to take you home. The effect of the treatment is not good."

I scratched my head: "Then did I kill or not? How do I remember that the condition for my release was to kill someone else?"

Wu Tian looked at me and said, "Do you still remember who you killed?"

I shook my head: "I don't remember, I just remember that someone asked me to kill it."

Wu Tian: "No, no one asked you to kill, you killed this guy, remember?"

Wu Tian handed me the mobile phone, and it was a photo of the scene. In the photo, a man was lying in a pool of blood.

When I slid the photo to the second one, it turned out to be that guy? !

My god... I... Is he the one I killed?

The way this guy died was the same way I remember killing people.

I stared dumbfounded at the photo, then looked at Wu Tian: "I killed him? Then...why wasn't I arrested?"

Wu Tian shook his head helplessly: "It seems that you don't remember anything at all. It's not that you were arrested, it's just that you didn't look like a normal person at all during the interrogation, so the psychiatric appraisal found that you had delusions. At that time, you were in a delusional state and did not bear criminal responsibility for what you did, but you were forcibly sent to a mental hospital for treatment by the court."

At this time, I suddenly realized that it was not me who killed the person after I got out of the mental hospital, but the person who killed me and was sent to the mental hospital? !

"Then do you know a person named An Ci?" I continued to ask Wu Tian.

Wu Tian looked at me and said, "This person does not exist. Although you said more than once that this guy encouraged you to kill, this person does not exist."

I frowned: "Doesn't exist? Isn't he a doctor in a mental hospital?"

Wu Tian shook his head: "The doctor said that his appearance is the beginning of your paranoia."

The more I listen, the more confused I become. Why is it completely upside down with my memory?

The more I think about it, the more my head hurts, like a needle prick, so painful that I want to hit the wall.

Seeing this, Wu Tian quickly grabbed my arm and said, "Don't think about it, come home with me first."

I sigh, now my memory is completely confused, it feels like the timeline is misaligned, and it's really hard to tell what's delusional and what's real.

I don't want to sleep, I feel like I will go to a strange place again when I sleep and open my eyes again.

But within a few minutes of the car ride, I was so sleepy that I couldn't keep my eyes open. Even though I had slept in the police station just now, my eyelids started to fight again.

In the end, I really couldn't fight the drowsiness, so I fell asleep.

When I woke up again, I was surrounded by a faint fragrance, and the familiar smell gave me a faint sense of happiness, as if I had returned to my childhood, the carefree time.

It was the wet little tongue that woke me up. As soon as I opened my eyes, I saw its furry body. The eyes were small, like black beans, and it exuded the familiar smell of shampoo.

Seeing this dog, I feel at ease, at least my memory before and now is coherent.

I got up and found that all my clothes had been changed, and my body wasn't as dirty as it looked before.

I looked around and found that I had returned to Wu Tian's home, and the environment here was exactly the same as in my memory.

In this way, Wu Tian was not imagined by me. Could it be that Anci was really imagined by me as Wu Tian said?

Isn't he Zhu Ci'an?

When I think of this incident, my head starts to hurt again. I can't help but touch my forehead. It feels like an electric shock chip has been inserted into my brain. Just thinking about this incident will trigger it. The pain makes my forehead sweat .

Seeing this, Gouzi didn't know whether he was afraid or worried, so he barked suddenly.

Wu Tian rushed out of the kitchen holding a spatula when he heard the commotion. Seeing this, he quickly walked over and took my hand off and said, "Are you just thinking about it again?"

I looked at Wu Tian and said, "It's not that I'm thinking wildly, it's that I don't know what the situation is now, and it feels like I've traveled through time, which is unreal! What you told me and my memory are completely reversed, and I don't even know what to believe. Who is it!"

Wu Tian seemed to be used to seeing me like this, and he was not impatient, he just smiled helplessly and said to me: "Don't worry, I will tell you slowly what you want to know."

I stared fixedly at Wu Tian, ​​feeling a very disobedient feeling in my heart, and asked, "Why are you still by my side after I'm like this?"

I would rather believe that Wu Tian in front of me was imagined by me than that An Ci was imagined by me.

Wu Tian's expression darkened when he heard the words: "I don't care if you left you to your parents?"

"Don't they know?" I asked back.

Wu Tian looked at me: "I haven't told them yet."

I nodded gratefully. Fortunately, my parents live in the country, and they seldom contact me. They just go back to visit relatives during the holidays.

At this time, there was a faint smell from the kitchen, and Wu Tian suddenly remembered that he was still cooking, and hurried back to the kitchen.

I went to the bathroom with a somewhat tired body and took a shower. I stood in front of the mirror and realized that I looked like a caveman now, with long hair covering half of my face, seamlessly connecting with the beard.

I stroked my hair back, but it didn't fit, the back of the head didn't work, and the bangs drooped down the sides.

The beard shaved part of the cheeks, leaving part of the upper lip and chin.

I probably tidied up and came out of the bathroom. Wu Tian was taking off his apron. When he saw me, he pulled up the chair and said, "Sit down and try a new dish I recently learned."

I sat on the chair, picked up the rice bowl and started to eat in silence.

Seeing that I didn't speak, Wu Tian didn't say anything, he just kept adding vegetables to my bowl.

But I stopped involuntarily, looked at Wu Tian and said, "I'm sorry to trouble you."

Wu Tian's eyes turned red, and then he smiled: "Hey! Why are you talking about that! Hurry up and eat more, you see you are skinny again!"

In fact, my heart is also sore and uncomfortable at this time. The Wu Tian in front of me is so polite that I feel strange, but this kind of warm feeling is what I dreamed of before.

"Wu Tian, ​​I want to go back to my parents' place tomorrow, it's too much of a drag on you here."

Wu Tian's face changed instantly when he heard the words, and he stared at me and said, "What are you talking about! Who said that you are dragging me down! What else can you do when you go back now, besides embarrassing your parents? What can you do when you go back now? What?"

Said that in the end, he might have realized that he had made a slip of the tongue, and quickly corrected him: "I mean, you are here with me now! Why do you always want to leave? Do you know how worried I am about you these days when you got lost? ?! Fortunately, there are enough monitoring points in the city. Even if the police station does not call, I will find you soon! If you go back to the countryside, it is impossible to lock you up at home every day. If you suddenly get sick and leave I lost it in the deep mountains and old forests, where can I find you?!"

I couldn't help smiling bitterly: "What's the point of living like me? It's fine if I get lost in the deep mountains and old forests, no one needs to worry about me anymore."

Wu Tian stood up and slapped me across the face. I saw his tears fall from his eyes onto the table in an instant.

"I forbid you to say that!"

My eye circles are also a little red, looking at Wu Tian I can only squeeze out a smile: "I can't stay here with you."

"Why?" Wu Tian asked, staring at me.

"Because it's dangerous."

"How dangerous?"

"I can kill people unconsciously, how can you guarantee that I won't kill you too?"

Wu Tian breathed a sigh of relief when he heard me say this: "Don't worry, I won't be killed that easily. If you say that, you should be with me. At least I can control you if something happens."

I stared blankly at Wu Tian, ​​and I couldn't help but feel a little guilty. In fact, he is really good, not only the external factors that made me feel "unworthy" when I was infatuated with him, but also at this moment. Knowing that I was crazy and still staying by my side, I was really touched.

I used to really hate him, but now, I'm relieved.

Even if he really owed me something in the past, it has been settled now.

What's more, the hate and the pain in the past, in fact, a large part of it originated from myself.

Blame me for not letting go, blame me for still looking forward to him.

But when I most expected him to appear, he didn't.

So I was slowly eaten by madness through countless nights, and it became the current situation.

Success and Xiao He defeated Xiao He, and now he persists and saves me.

I have no right to hate him anymore.

I silently closed my eyes, tears streaming down my cheeks.

Seeing this, Wu Tian came over nervously, held my face in his hands and asked, "What's wrong? Did you hurt you just now?"

I opened my eyes and looked at Wu Tian, ​​and said with a smile, "Let's start over."