Gu Nianruochu

Yin Xu has been living his life smoothly until now, and has never suffered any lack or wish for anything. The only setback he has experienced is Wei Siyuan.

In the past, Wei Siyuan loved him more than himself, felt that he could forgive and tolerate him regardless of the past, and swallowed all the grievances he had given him without complaint or regret, and then took it for granted for him. He is good.

But now Wei Siyuan didn't like him anymore, so he didn't take back all the favors he had given him. Now even if he willingly offered his heart with both hands, Wei Siyuan didn't care to look at him anymore.

The embarrassment of being ruthlessly rejected face-to-face made Yin Xu ashamed to pester Wei Siyuan to make up again. After Wei Siyuan left that day, he returned to the hotel box in a daze, and was watched and comforted by all his friends for a long time.

But Wei Siyuan's "I don't like you anymore" sounded like Wei Siyuan's phrase "I don't like you anymore" in his mind. left by himself.

Later on, Yin Xu didn't dare to appear in front of Wei Siyuan at all, but he often thought about him very hard, and there were many nights when he thought about it and couldn't fall asleep.

Then he accidentally found a photo of Wei Siyuan holding an egg roll in the phone album, and the memory that hadn't lost its temperature leaked out like a torrent, making his heart throbbing involuntarily.

He used to think that if he chooses someone to love, he will definitely be prepared in advance to be bored after the emotional wear-off, and then recklessly throw himself into love and squander his emotions, and get together in a timely manner when love begins to fade into numbness of habit It's easy to break up, so that we can not delay, owe or burden, and live up to more and better love in the future.

So he never dared to touch Wei Siyuan's feelings lightly, dared not make promises to him lightly, and even evaded with some attitudes, neither accepting nor admitting it, and he was reluctant to make a decision every time he was shown his love. Sorry for serious people.

His liking for Wei Siyuan is a secret that even Wei Siyuan himself doesn't know.

In the past five years, when he was tempted by Wei Siyuan, he began to use other people's eyes to divert his attention and amuse the emptiness. It wasn't until the thumping feeling subsided that he returned to Wei Siyuan's side insatiably and continued to ask for warmth. This kind of liking is hypocritical and perfunctory.

After a long time, even he himself thought that his feelings for Wei Siyuan were nothing more than that, that he could be cynical and play games with flowers, and Wei Siyuan would always wait behind him, until he had enough fun and calmed down, he wanted a forever love. When he was with him, there was still such a person who loved him in the future.

But it wasn't until Wei Siyuan couldn't bear to push him away that he suddenly realized that his liking for Wei Siyuan was also real, but it was a secret hidden too deep, and it seemed like a lie when he told it.

So his love was falsified, and just a refusal was enough to give up all thoughts and have nothing.

When Wei Siyuan returned to the dormitory that night, his face was very bad. He threw himself on the bed with a muffled "bang", and buried his face in the pillow.

Zheng Heng felt that something was wrong with him, and walked around anxiously for a long time like an old hen whose eggs had been stolen, and asked him what happened, and he said unhurriedly, "I'm just a little hungry, my stomach hurts."

Zheng Heng hurriedly ordered takeaway for him, still stood beside him worriedly and looked at him for a long time before hesitatingly said, "Why do I think you are not just having a stomachache? It's like a lovelorn, I think you've become abnormal since you said you don't like Yin Xu, are you still reluctant to part with him?"

Wei Siyuan felt that the exhaustion in his heart was heavy, and it was so heavy that his heart was stuffy and it was almost difficult to breathe. After a while, he said coldly, "No, I just suddenly discovered that I used to think that I liked him selflessly, but it turned out to be a lie. I am very selfish, I desperately want him to give me back, I desperately want his equal affection, if it is not that kind of affection, no matter what is given to me, I will feel humiliated and will not be comforted."

"I told you that Yin Xu was not good to you and told you not to like him so much, but you didn't listen." Zheng Heng was a little helpless, and suddenly glanced at him as if realizing something, "You just went to see him ?”

"It's not that he treats me badly, he just doesn't like me, that's different. It's like I don't like him anymore, but I don't hate him, I just don't have feelings for him anymore." Wei Siyuan corrected him, After pausing for a while, he turned around and lay flat on his back looking at the ceiling. The light from the desk lamp shone from the side, casting a faint shadow on the other side, "I used to think that as long as he said he liked me and was willing to associate with me, I would be very happy. Maybe I would laugh out loud in my dreams. But I finally discovered just now that if the love I get is given to me by compromise, it will cause me more pain than if he doesn’t like me.”

"I finally found out that I'm quite a bitch. You used to talk to me every day about how much you like Yin Xu, and I thought it was a bit unreasonable, but now you don't like him, and I think it's too much for you to be like this." Depression is so hopeless.”

"Don't worry, I think it's good now. I don't have expectations anymore, so I won't worry about gains and losses and get frustrated repeatedly."

"You'll always forget about him, and you'll get better and like someone else."

"I don't know." Wei Siyuan was silent for a long time, and replied as if talking to himself, "I don't know if I will like others in the future." He slowly turned his eyes to the violin on his desk In the box, his eyes gradually changed from tired and weak to firm, "If I am depressed because I don't get love, I will look down on myself, so, Lao Zheng, I have already decided, I want to leave here, I want to go Find the life I want elsewhere."

Just two weeks later, Yin Xu's next month's concert has entered the stage of rehearsal for pre-selected repertoire. Although it is held in his own name, there are solos and concertos in the program list, so he almost It takes a lot of time to practice every day, as well as running in and developing a tacit understanding with the concerto musicians, so as to ensure that the entire concert process will be foolproof.

When he was busy, he would beat around the bush to find out what Wei Siyuan was doing. He knew that Wei Siyuan had a gentle personality and no temper. He was afraid that he would not be bullied or asked for help when he was not by his side, even if he didn't want to start a new life. Accepting himself, he still wants to get closer to him in a way he doesn't know, so as not to let him really disappear from his sight.

But Wei Siyuan is not the same Wei Siyuan when he was 15 years old. Although he is not good at socializing and his life is very monotonous. He either goes to school or works as a tutor or stays in the dormitory, but his interpersonal relationship is not bad. Many people are willing to treat him well. If you forget to bring change on the bus, there will be enthusiastic high school students who will pay for him, so after he faded out of Yin Xu's life and emotionally insulated from him, there is no need for him anymore.

One day, a friend told Yin Xu that he recently ran into Wei Siyuan in a clean bar he often goes to. There is a pet adoption center near that clean bar. Wei Siyuan seems to often go there with a friend to see the cats there.

Yin Xu asked for the address of Qingba, and found that it was the place where he had picked up Wei Siyuan before, so he ended the rehearsal earlier than usual, and then went there alone to take a sneak look at Wei Siyuan.

Wei Siyuan's enthusiasm for pop music is neither high nor low, but he has a strong interest in arrangement, so after he got acquainted with Shen Yan, he took the initiative to propose to arrange the songs he wanted to use when he sang, and also She often went to cheer Shen Yan up, and she seemed to have become a frequent visitor to that bar after coming and going. There were several female customers who came here just to see him, and they even attracted an audience for Shen Yan.

It was Monday night, the busiest working day, and not many people came out to drink and relax. After Shen Yan sang three songs, the boss told him to leave work early.

He and Wei Siyuan came out of the Qing bar together, and walked towards the pet adoption center nearby. Wei Siyuan chatted with him a few other things, and suddenly told him: "I asked your friend to borrow the recording studio because the school recommended me. When I went to a conservatory in the United States, they contacted me and asked me if I would like to transfer there.” He told Shen Yan the name of the school, “then they asked me to provide my current transcript, and asked me to Record a violin solo for them, and want to see my level."

Shen Yan asked him, "Then you have received the admission notice now?"

Wei Siyuan shook his head, "Not yet. I received an email today saying that there will be a video interview. If you pass the interview, you will be considered for admission, but I don't know if there is a language test."

"Then why did you tell me so early, I'm starting to miss you now." Shen Yan turned to look into his eyes, said exaggeratedly on purpose, and lowered his head to wipe his eyes, "Look, I'm about to cry."

Wei Siyuan was amused by him, and crossed the road with him, "I think it's almost too soon, I'm afraid we'll leave in a hurry and won't have time to say goodbye."

"Actually, did you go to heal your emotional injury?" Shen Yan asked.

Wei Siyuan gave him a very serious look, and said with a straight face, "I'm here to study, you people, don't you have other pursuits besides dating?"

"You." Shen Yan replied casually.

Wei Siyuan was awkwardly silent for a few seconds, then walked straight into the pet adoption center as if he didn't hear anything, greeted the person in charge inside, and then lay on the outside of the cat cage with a four-four he had recently become acquainted with. The black cat on the snow said hello.

The cat was lying against the wall, but when it saw Wei Siyuan, it came forward and pressed its whole face to the edge of the cage, wanting Wei Siyuan to touch its head, but the person in charge came over and unlocked its cage, "It It seems that I like you very much, you can take it out to play, it's okay."

Wei Siyuan hugged the cat on his lap and rubbed it for a while, feeling a bit lost, feeling that he was quite inhuman, and when he hugged other cats, he always thought of his egg rolls sadly.

The cat can't speak human language, so he doesn't know if Egg Roll has anything to say to him when he says goodbye to Egg Roll, and whether he will say to him, "Actually, I miss you too."

Shen Yan sat by the side and watched them, chatting with Wei Siyuan nonchalantly, he was not too interested in fluffy creatures, but Wei Siyuan's way of playing with cats was quite cute.

It was at this time that Yin Xu saw Wei Siyuan.

He hid outside the door of the adoption center, submerged by the thick shadows, quietly looking at Wei Siyuan and his friend who he didn't know where, feeling very uncomfortable.

He hated that other people were so close to Wei Siyuan but he could only watch from a distance, that person still looked at Wei Siyuan with that kind of ambiguous eyes, which really annoyed him, and that cat actually used his face Rubbing Wei Siyuan's hand, he felt very jealous.

But the depression that had lasted for a long time in his heart suddenly began to ease. He finally saw Wei Siyuan again, seeing that he was doing well, and felt at ease, but he was doing well because he lost himself, and he was unexpectedly lost.

Yin Xu watched it for 10 minutes and then left, fearing that Wei Siyuan would show that resisting expression on his face again, so he secretly took a photo outside, and left again without making a sound.

He returned to his home and turned on the light, and added cat food to the bowl of the egg roll. The egg roll was probably hungry, and couldn't wait for him to pour out the cat food, so he put his face to the mouth of the cat food bag anxiously He started to eat, and he pushed his face away with his hands a little depressed, and showed it the photos on the phone.

"Look at you, you still eat so much, your mother has other cats outside, and you only know how to eat."

Egg Roll didn't have time to pay attention to him, and lowered his head to lick the crumbs of cat food on his fingers.