jealousy is the devil

The vegetable market is very lively, with constant voices of hawking and bargaining.As soon as I walked in, the aunt on the side of the road greeted me warmly, saying that her radishes were very fresh.I asked about the price and said I'll see.

If I'm at home on vacation, I'm the one who cooks at home, and they're busy, but they're just cooking dinner.Today I mainly buy some radishes and ribs to go back, so that I can make soup.The radish at the intersection is quite fresh, but I decided to go in and have a look, and compare the prices, maybe I can buy better quality and cheaper ones.

I went in and picked radishes again, and then went to the butcher's place to have a look, and it was done quickly.Carrying two bags, I walked back slowly. Who knew that on the way back, I saw Zhou Wei, a classmate in the same class. I didn't want to say hello to him, so I planned to go directly through the side road.

But he was holding a basket of vegetables in both hands, and somehow a tricycle ran past him, Zhou Wei frightened and panicked, and the box fell to the ground as soon as his hands were loose, what potatoes, onions, etc. roll.

I saw that he couldn't pick it up by himself, so I went over to help him. He looked up at me in a daze, and immediately put his face down, and hurriedly said, "I'll do it myself."

As soon as I put the two potatoes I picked up into his box, I turned around and left, as if I really wanted to help, I was a little depressed.Although I was a little bit annoyed at the way he was avoiding me, the unhappiness passed quickly.People who have nothing to do with me have relatively little influence on me, but if it is someone I care about, a look in his eyes or a casual word will make my heart set off a huge wave.

A wicked smile appeared in my mind, the corners of his mouth curled up, but there was no smile in his eyes at all.It was an extremely angry smile, full of ridicule and disdain.

It was Ye Ze's expression on the day Ye Ze's parents came to school.My heart also went cold, maybe Ye Ze had the same expression when he hung up my phone.

There is regret, why was I so nervous that day, I just feel that I am not myself, there is a feeling of floating and nothingness, as if there is no consequence for what I do.Isn't it just to reconcile with Jiang Ling?Isn't that... that's the thing?

When I got home, there was no one at home. Even in the first few days before the Chinese New Year, they still had to work. At this time, there was a red envelope of 200 yuan per day.

After eleven o'clock, I went to the kitchen and wanted to cook some stir-fried rice cakes with green vegetables. There was a basin of washed green vegetables next to the stove.Probably because I was too restless, I actually cut my finger.It's really strange, when I was ten years old, I didn't cook any vegetables before.

I didn't feel the pain at all. I brought the severed finger closer to my eyes and looked at it carefully. I only saw a transparent line as long as a small fingernail. Slow to seep out.When I squeezed it with my hand, small bright red blood beads came out, which made me feel coquettish and cute.I felt the blood in my body start to rush, and I felt an inexplicable excitement.

I stared at it for a long time before sucking it up and getting on with my tteokbokki.

Ye Ze never called me again, and of course I never called him.I tried my best to keep myself busy. Once the papers were typed, I didn't care whether I could digest them or not. It was just a sea of ​​strategies, and I was doing it in the dark.

I raised my eyes and looked at the clock. It was already eleven o'clock in the evening. I stretched myself and stared out of the window in a daze.A little tired, but don't want to sleep.After staying like this for a while, I put on a thick coat, and suddenly wanted to hang around outside to wake up.

As soon as I walked out the door, a gust of cold air entered my neck, and I quickly zipped my clothes to the top.All of a sudden, the flesh of my chin was pinched, and I burst into tears from the pain.That's great, I woke up right away.

I walked along the street lights, and a few trees were planted every few meters along the road, so the shadows cast by the trees were also very regular. I walked a few steps to the place where the street lights were bright, and then walked a few steps to the tree in the shadows.

As I was walking, I felt movement behind me. At first I didn't pay attention, but when I realized that it seemed to be following me, I suddenly panicked.

I turned my head suddenly and saw a man in a suit. He seemed to be taken aback when he saw me turn around, and he staggered and sat down on the ground.

I didn't feel scared all of a sudden, I just felt a little funny.He looks very gentle, wearing a pair of thin-rimmed glasses, he doesn't look like a bad guy.

He climbed several times without standing up, I thought about it and walked over to him and stretched out my hand.

He froze for a while before slowly stretching out his hand, I pulled him up, I smelled a strong smell of alcohol on his body, I couldn't help frowning.

His hand was cold, I wanted to shake it off quickly, but he grabbed it tightly.I sighed in my heart, is it true that people should not be judged by their appearance?

"Let go!" I said viciously.

"Ah, I'm sorry... I thought, forget it." He hurriedly let go of my hand and smiled at me, but that smile made me feel weak and forced, so I might as well not smile.

"Can you chat with me for a while, I think you also..."

"No!" Before he finished speaking, I immediately turned around and ran home.Before he turned his head, I probably saw his expression, lost.

Still lonely?

Why chat with a stranger?It's because I can't confide some things to the people around me, and I feel so panicked that I just pull someone to talk casually.No one came after me, but I still ran fast.

Because I still can't rule out the possibility that he's the bad guy.

After running to the room, I gasped heavily, and my chest heaved violently.I felt empty inside, like a piece had been ripped away.

I have no one to talk to!

But I will not look back, I opened the drawer, took out a pencil sharpener, and the knife flashed mischievously under the light.I pulled up my thick sleeves, brought them close to my eyes, and saw some very small and soft hairs, blue blood vessels.Just a little bit is all you need.

Days go by so fast, I thought as I sat on the bus to school.The air in the car was very stale, making my head even more dizzy.A mist hung over the windows.Then more and more condensed into small water droplets, and then slipped down instantly, leaving traces on the window.

I watched in silence for a while, and when I came back to my senses, I found that the people on the bus had changed unconsciously, and the student wearing the same school uniform as me had long since disappeared.Oops, I passed the stop.I quickly got up and rang the bell, and got off at the next stop.

I put my schoolbag on my back and stood there in a daze. A gust of cold wind blew, and I shrank my neck.It was only then that I realized that I quickly took a look at the stop sign and found that I sat for five more stops.I had to go to the opposite side and take another five stops to go back.

When I got to the classroom, it was already full of people.I don't know if it was my illusion, but as soon as I entered the classroom, they all stopped what they were doing and looked at me together.

I pretended not to notice these gazes, went to the podium to sign up, and then paid the tuition.I write my name on each piece of money with a pencil. The money is crumpled and made up with a lot of [-] or [-] yuan. I hope the teacher will not find it troublesome.

When I turned around and went back to my seat, the classroom was noisy again. It was probably my illusion just now.It's just that one person reported a little late, so I looked up to see who it was.

When I stuffed my schoolbag into the drawer, I found a piece of paper under it, so I pulled it out to have a look.Written with a red pen on it, you pervert, go to hell!The deskmate looked at me with subtle eyes, then turned around as if nothing had happened, and continued to organize the drawers.

Ye Ze was fighting with the front desk, laughing unscrupulously, the sunlight coming in from the window wrapped him up gently.

I crumpled the paper into a firm ball and put it on the side of the drawer until I threw it away.

Paper cannot hold fire.

But I didn't hide it on purpose, it's just that I don't think it's necessary to tell others. Some people don't understand and it will cause unnecessary trouble.

Now I don't realize the impact this incident will have on me, and I keep thinking about who said it in my mind.Is it Jiang Ling?That's possible, after all she broke up with Ye Ze because of me.

"You don't take it all seriously, do you? You idiot..."

I suddenly thought of the phone call I made at the beginning. I was very emotional at the time, but I was still very calm when I spoke.The more this kind of tone is, the more annoying it will be. Ye Ze hung up the phone without even saying that you were joking.

If it was someone else, they would probably be able to step forward and ask directly, did you tell me about me?But I couldn't do it no matter what, and I felt very ashamed, and it was indeed my fault this time.

When the last bell rang in the morning, I realized that I didn't bring my meal card. I stood up and sat down again.Now the number one in grade is gone, and I am gradually the only one left in the classroom.The sound of footsteps outside and the sound of playing and playing made the classroom deserted even more.

I stared at the clock on the wall for a while, and wanted to pour some water into the water dispenser at the back of the classroom, but I was too lazy to move.At this time, a person walked in from outside the classroom, and I turned my head to meet that person's eyes.As soon as I met that gaze, I quickly turned my head, as if I would be wiped out if I looked at it a few more times.

I took out a book from the drawer, opened it casually and set my sights on it.I felt him walk in, the sound of thumping footsteps hit my heart, he stopped at a certain location, and then left immediately, maybe he forgot something.

The classroom was quiet again, and I was relieved, but also deeply disappointed.Ye Ze really ignored me, but isn't that what I hoped for?Don't want to be around him in pain, watching him pair up with someone else.There is no self-confidence that can bring him happiness, so I want to draw a line with him decisively.

If you don't give others a good look, do you still expect others to fall in love with you and stick your cold ass?It's just ridiculous.This is just a normal result.

During the winter vacation, I went out for a walk several times at night, shrinking my neck and walking the bright and dark road over and over again.That's right, I'm looking for the man in the suit.I want to tell him, talk to me, and I will listen to you well.

However, I never saw him again.