white rose

I can see Qiu every day, I am really very happy, I can feel that Qiu really likes me, not indifferent and perfunctory like others, but from the bottom of my heart, she always tries to let me go Get in touch with more people, because the people I know are really limited, and even simple communication with people is very laborious. Qiu has always been persuasive, and I also hope to make her happy.

But it's really hard for me, much harder than practicing sheet music, but I still want to give her that gratifying smile.That kind of smile is very warm, and everyone hopes to see it.

I always listen more and ask less. I like to listen when Qiu talks to me, because there are some things I really don’t understand, and rash questions can only reflect my ignorance. Finally, I feel that I know enough When I started to ask her questions, she was also very happy with my response.She is a good teacher, and my questions can always be answered cleverly, but I also noticed that she sometimes deliberately avoided things, which made me feel a little helpless.

She never hugged me like a mother, I don't know why, I don't ask, I don't want to be an annoying child.

I soon had a sister, and she was a very lovely child, with soft lips, slightly yellowish hair, and large eyes.I'm glad that one is enough for a monster like me, and I don't want my younger siblings to be like me.

I deliberately picked one of the most beautiful roses in the garden, a white Tannich, my favorite flower.I put her in a vase by the window, and I wish my mother would come and see it.

Unexpectedly, it was my father who came.He saw the roses in the vase at a glance.

"Why a white rose?"

"Preparing for Mother"

"Why did you pick a white one? Are you cursing them to be like you trash?"

He stretched out his hand and broke the branch in two, and the petals just slid down like that.

"I hate white"

After he finished speaking, he walked out of my room.I just felt pain in my heart, like bleeding, but no one noticed, and I didn't want to mention it to anyone.

Qiu just walked in gently like this, and she walked slowly to my side, and she was shocked when she saw the ruined flowers.She leaned down and hugged me tightly.

"Do you know what the flower language of white roses is?"

I shook my head.

"Innocence, purity, respect, humility, just like attachment."

My eyes were clouded, but I smiled when I heard Qiu Nuannuan's words.I know that these words do not belong to me, but belong to autumn.

"So Zhi is not wrong, this is the best wish for mother, isn't it? Those who don't understand him, say bad things about him because of his color, don't care about Zhi, because they don't understand at all, and we don't Forgive their ignorance."

"What is flower language?"

"The language of flowers is the oath of love represented by each flower"

"Then what is love?"

"This question is a bit difficult. Many people have studied it for a lifetime but have not come to a definite conclusion. The executive will know when he grows up."

Qiu picked up the scattered petals one by one, "I like it very much, give it to me!"

I looked at her and finally nodded.

No matter how long the scars are open, they will heal. I am glad that I met such a kind mother and Qiu. Without them, I don’t know how far my life would deviate from the right track. In the loneliness and hatred, he became a freak that everyone detested.

I work very hard, because I usually use it to practice piano when I have time. I have actually read a lot of books, and I probably already know the answer to my question-what is love.But I'm not sure if I have the right to pursue love, now or later.Maybe my understanding is only on the surface, after all, I am so ignorant.

The next day, my mother and sister came to see me. Although I had already seen this little guy, she was still so beautiful that I couldn't take my eyes off her.My mother was also very happy, and always let me tease her, but I was afraid of scaring her, so I always turned my face to the side, showing a less scary face.

My mother also saw my worry, she just said to me gently, "It's okay, look how much she likes you".

With my mother's repeated encouragement, I finally mustered up the courage to hug her. The little guy stretched out such tender hands to grab my hair. I dodged left and right to avoid being caught by her, but she still caught my face.

"What a clingy guy" my mother smiled and took her over, but she immediately became honest, which made me dumbfounded.

After both my mother and sister left, I felt for the first time a kind of joy from the family, a real world without discrimination and disgust, as if the whole world radiated kindness.

But what shocked me was what happened five days later.

This day Qiu looked very nervous, she looked at me, as if she didn’t know what to say to me, her eyes were shining, and she said to me, “today the master held a party at home, you are going to play a song at the party ".

My first reaction after hearing this was fear. I was really afraid. I was afraid of seeing so many people. I was afraid of seeing so many pairs of eyes. You know, I have never seen so many people since I was born. .

Maybe it was because my resistance was too obvious, Qiu looked worried, and she asked me:

"what are you worried about?"

I don't know how to answer, it's kind of ridiculous that someone my age should be afraid of such a thing.

"You just play a song, don't be afraid, no one even notices your face"

I saw Qiu's face full of anticipation, but I still didn't know how to answer her.

"No one can see you, they can only hear you playing"

"I'm going to screw it up" I whispered.

"No, you play so well"

"Maybe you won't think so then." I sneered.

"What are you afraid of? Are you still afraid of men?"

I don't understand what Qiu is talking about. When I was a child, I was really afraid of meeting people, especially men.Because those people didn't give me food, and even taunted me, I tried not to think about why, because the more I thought about it, the more terrifying it became.

But it's been a long time since this kind of thing happened, and I can get along with others normally, why does Qiu still say that.

We have been at a stalemate, to be precise, I have been at a stalemate, and I always feel that I have been wronged.Qiu didn't comfort me as softly as before.

We stayed deadlocked until the evening, when the evening banquet began, and this somewhat old building became brightly lit. Similar evening parties had been held here before, and my parents and elder brother always wore gorgeous clothes and cruised among the noisy crowd.But I have never participated in it, just listening to the loud voices, living in a corner with peace of mind, waiting for the excitement to dissipate, so that I can sleep.

Qiu still came. She was dressed very formally, wearing a very formal suit, but her beautiful hair was still loose, which was a little different from most of the upper-class people who came.

"You'll be there soon," she said softly to me.

I still haven't said anything.

She pushed me out and I was kind of taken aback, it was the first time she had done this and she didn't even ask for my opinion.

I sat in the corner and looked dizzy at the vast crowd.

"I can't, Qiu," I begged, looking into her eyes.

"What are you afraid of? Do you want to stay in a corner by yourself for the rest of your life?" She asked me sharply, her eyes were sharp, which made me a little scared.

I kept trembling, and tears fell silently like this.This is the first time Qiu lost his temper with me.

"You are the best student I've ever had. Many healthy people are not as brave as you." She said to me softly, "You can bear such a great grief, why are you still afraid of the crowd like ants? Woolen cloth?"

I stopped crying and hugged her tightly.

My hand slowly touched the black and white stripes, and as usual, I played the tune I was best at.

The crowd that seemed to be rolling like waves just now gradually calmed down amidst the sound of my piano. Gradually, the eyes of those people slowly came to my corner.

Looking at those bright or dark eyes, I was so nervous that I was about to faint.And Qiu has been standing behind me, watching me silently.I glanced back at her and she looked down at me and said "That's awesome, Zhi, you're a genius!"

I felt a little intoxicated, and fell asleep immediately.

When I woke up again, the first person I saw was Qiu. She should have been waiting for a long time. When I opened my eyes, I saw her frowning, as if she was worried about something.

She looked at me slowly, and her eyes became excited.

"Are you awake" she asked.

"Um…"

"how do you feel?"

"It's okay, maybe I'm too nervous."

"You don't even know how good you are, those grown-ups ask the master about you," her eyes sparkled.

"Um…"

We started to stalemate again.

"Are you okay?" she asked me.

I didn't know what she meant, I just looked at her.

"Are you still scared?"

I lowered my head, indeed, she was right.

Then she did something I never dreamed possible.

She took off her wig.

"I'm a man" he said to me calmly.

For a while I was stunned.

"I'm surprised." He smiled, and then I realized that he really is a man, but he looks like a woman.

"Actually, what you are afraid of is not that scary," he said to me, "Just like those people, once you get used to it, you will find that their existence is only to realize your talents."

I stopped looking at him, and I couldn't calm down in my heart.

He called me by my name as usual, "Zhi, what's wrong with you?"

I heard this gentle voice and suddenly wanted to cry.

Qiu, why did you lie to me.