goodbye midsummer

Shen Yi shuddered.

He had the feeling that something was wrong.

Obviously it shouldn't be like this.

The evening wind was very cool, blowing from behind, carrying the slightly fishy smell of the river.The young man in front of him stood tall and straight, only one meter away from him, with a serious and stubborn expression on his face.

He suspected he was hallucinating.

Qin Yang, did you just say that he likes me?

Is it the kind of love a younger brother has for his elder brother, or...

He had no clue, his mind was in a mess, so he scratched his head: "I don't understand... What do you mean?"

"It means literally." Qin Yang looked at him with a look of almost despair, as if he was fearful and hopeful at the same time.

Shen Yi tried to clear things up: "Didn't you keep saying that the person you like...better than you..."

Four years older.

Shen Yi suddenly woke up: Could it be that he was referring to himself?

Four years older than him, the crush who was always by his side but didn't know it.

No way?

Shen Yi suddenly felt sad, and his voice became a little vain: "When did you start..."

He lowered his head, like a child who has done something wrong: "I don't know..."

His voice was trembling, as if he was about to cry, but he tried his best to hold it back.

Shen Yi's gaze drifted into the distance, and he suddenly felt that this moment was unreal. The water in the distance, the wind nearby, the moonlight falling and the cold touch of the stone railings all seemed to be transformed into a painting by Van Gogh: strong colors, continuous Spinning and twisting, like a dream.

It's so unreal, how could this happen?

For three years, people who have been getting along like brothers will have such secret emotions for themselves.While he was shocked, more sadness emerged in his heart.

"I'm sorry..." He couldn't help but said, "I didn't find out."

I always thought that the person you loved silently was someone I didn't know.I even once imagined what kind of girl she was.I also made a little joke with you because of this.When you confided to me because of this distress, I once told you something cruel that I didn't know at the time, but now I think about it.

So I'm sorry, Qin Yang.I never found out.

He desperately grasped the relief on the stone railing, as if he wanted to crush it, and said with a little self-blame: "Did I do something to make you think..."

"It's not like that!" Qin Yang retorted like an electric shock, his face was as pale as the moon tonight, "...it's not your fault...it's not anyone's fault...I just, like you very much..."

Confession again, but the emotions in the words appear fragmented due to strong fear.

Qin Yang was trembling, standing in the wind as if he was about to disappear at any moment.He couldn't help taking a few steps back and squatting down, hugging his knees tightly.

It was the first time for Shen Yi to see Qin Yang look so scared.

Tears flowed down his teenager's cheeks uncontrollably, and he grabbed his head in great annoyance: "I shouldn't have said... I screwed up..."

If only I could bear it well.

As always, be patient.Then we can still be brothers like before.

Why did it get out of control today?

He was disappointed with himself, annoyed, never like today, wishing that time could turn back and memory could be lost.

He screwed everything up.

Tears of despair and confusion flowed down unconsciously, and he didn't wipe them off. He just felt that the end of the world was coming—his own end of the world.

After tonight, the world ceases to exist.

While thinking wildly, someone suddenly hugged his head and patted his back gently.

"It's okay, it's okay."

Shen Yi's voice was so gentle, it rang softly in his ears.

He felt like a drowning man who saw a hand reaching out from the lake above his head to pull him up.

"nothing."

Shen Yi patted him on the back softly, like comforting a child.So warm, Shen Yi's embrace.

Qin Yang calmed down, and slowly hugged him back.

With a slightly crying voice, he said softly:

"Forget what I just said."

Please.

The first time I heard that song was in the first semester of high school.

Because of the relationship between the arts and sciences, the first grade was reorganized into classes. Qin Yang was assigned to class 7, and there were only ten girls in the class.Serious gender imbalance.

Fortunately, Class 6 next door is a liberal arts class, and occasionally peeking in from outside the classroom, you can see a lot of girls at a glance.So the boys in the class often take advantage of the recess time to go to the corridor to chat and chat, and occasionally glance at the girls in the next class who also come out to fight.

Sixteen and seventeen-year-old boys and girls are in the stage of youth and ignorance, and have many curiosity about the opposite sex.In the old days, they were always constrained by the vision of society and did not dare to get too close, but they always pretended to inadvertently cast their eyes on the person who cared about them when they passed by the other party's group.

Today's children are much braver.It is not uncommon for boys and girls to play together between classes, and it is not uncommon and worthy of excessive attention.

Dazhi, who was assigned to Class 7 with Qin Yang, was very keen on evaluating girls. He could name the pretty girls in the next class, and then ranked them one by one based on his own subjective criteria.From time to time, he invites Qin Yang to go to the outside corridor to "watch" the girls he thinks are at the top of the score list. They all have their own styles and are quite worth seeing.

Qin Yang felt bored, so he never joined his so-called "watching" activities.This indifferent attitude that is inconsistent with boys of the same age makes Dashi occasionally doubt his sexual orientation.

"You are neither a monk nor a Taoist priest. Why is such a good young man so boring at such a young age? Could it be that you are not interested in girls?"

Qin Yang glared at him coldly: "Fuck you."

Dazhi patted him on the shoulder again, and asked in a low voice, "Are you a virgin?"

Qin Yang gave him another cold look: "Go away."

Dazhi smiled indifferently, he has been in the same class as Qin Yang since the first year of high school, knowing that this guy can say such words means that he doesn't care.If he really cared, he wouldn't say a word, and stared at you with that kind of cold gaze for eternity.

Terrible.

"How can you be worthy of your youth if you don't fall in love early in high school?" He didn't know where his patience came from, so he lobbied so enthusiastically, "There are really some very good-looking people in the next class. Based on your appearance, you might be able to catch up with them. Qin Yang, we Seriously, don't you feel bored to spend the whole day among these rough old men instead of taking a look at those shiny beauties?"

However, Qin Yang reached into the drawer and took out the math textbook and homework book, turned his head and propped his cheek with one hand: "Don't disturb me doing my homework."

Seeing him so disappointed, Dazhi couldn't help but lose his enthusiasm: "Oh, I really can't teach a child. If I had your looks, I would already have a girlfriend. But you are still here doing math homework leisurely, It's hopeless. Come on, I'm going out."

After that, he left the classroom.

Although Qin Yang on the other side was still staring at the complicated formulas and theorems in the math textbook, the tip of his pen fixed on the snow-white homework book never moved at all.

He vaguely felt that what Dazhi said was not unreasonable: it seemed that he was indeed not very interested in girls.

For the opposite sex, he never had any thoughts or impulses.

At this time, the radio in the big class breaks at regular intervals. During the 10-minute break, the radio station will broadcast some school news, current affairs news, and birthday messages, interspersed with student songs one after another.

Today's broadcast is a gentle female voice. After reading a current news item, it starts to play the student's song request.

That was the first time Qin Yang heard that song. The prelude was a gentle and gentle piano piece, as warm and bright as running water under the sun.Then a low, slightly hoarse male voice sounded.

A wild cherry blossom blooms outside my window

there are birds that come to visit it

Waiting for April [-]th, warm branches

The sun goes down, in late spring and midsummer

I sat by the window and watched her quietly

She crossed the breeze and smiled at me

The page-turning calendar has since stayed at

April [-]th, even if time turns into sand

I would like to engrave her like this

Just not to forget, the past years

A wonderful person who was in my life

Although it's only for a moment, it's enough to worry about

It was such a song that Qin Yang had never heard before.The singer's voice is slightly vicissitudes, but still soft and bright.He felt that a scene was constantly imagining in his mind, as if he was standing in front of a sunny window, looking at the cherry blossoms blooming in the spring outside the window lattice, and saw a figure slowly approaching from a distance through the petals and branches. Walking around, smiling brightly at him in the sunlight.

But in his imagination, this person is Shen Yi.

I would like to carve his image

Just not to forget, the past years

A wonderful person who was in my life

Although it's only for a moment, it's enough to worry about

A song about unrequited love, about a singer falling in love with a girl with whom he has only met once.

It is as beautiful and romantic as a poet.

But in Qin Yang's imagination, the one walking towards him under the warm sun was not a girl, but Shen Yi.

It's the Shen Yi who would occasionally take himself to skip remedial classes and wander around the city until dark together, it's the Shen Yi who always gently notices and comforts his occasional uneasiness, it's the Shen Yi smiled in front of his face but always built a high wall in his heart to bear all the troubles by himself.

It was he who made himself gradually fall in love with the present life, and it was he who gradually made himself feel that the world was still very beautiful.

Before he knew it, he had already occupied an indispensable place in his heart.Such an important seat.

Qin Yang suddenly realized this kind of emotion when he heard this song.

It turned out to be the case.

It turned out that was the feeling of liking: the heart seemed to be filled with sunshine.

"You like this song." Perhaps because he noticed Qin Yang staring at the front without moving, Wen Yu, who was sitting behind him on the left, nodded his shoulder and smiled at him, "Isn't it nice? I recommend it to radio stations.”

"What's that song called?" he asked.

"April fifteen."

Oh, the fifteenth of April.

his birthday.

As if it was destined.In a song called "April [-]th", Qin Yang realized his emotions for the first time.

Because it is related to him, hearing this song from now on, my heart is filled with sunshine.