goodbye midsummer

The afternoon sun shone on the desk, and the breeze blew in through the open window, and the half-open pages on the desk suddenly flipped.

Qin Yang rested his chin on one hand and looked out of the window with his head slightly tilted. The sky in the distance was piled up with cumulonimbus clouds. The bright white and blue sky set off each other, which was very summery.

The Chinese teacher on the podium was distributing several sheets of materials bound on A4 paper, and the students in front got them and handed them to the people behind, so that they were passed on successively.The whole classroom is filled with the whirring of fans and the rustling of papers being turned.

"Don't be in a daze, take it." Wen Yu turned her head and handed the last piece of information to Qin Yang.

He took it and looked at it. There was not much information, only three sheets of A4 paper.

Seeing that the students had obtained the information, the teacher turned back to the podium, picked up the chalk and wrote while saying: "In today's class, we will talk about modern poetry. Now you have a few excellent modern poems carefully selected by me." Poetry, everyone can take a rough look at it..."

Qin Yang's eyes scanned the white paper aimlessly, and the teacher's lecture on the podium was gradually covered by the cicadas outside the window.

All that came into view were meaningless words.

What echoed repeatedly in his mind was the words Shen Yi said that night: ——Love someone you can love.

In the past few days, although he has warned himself countless times: he can no longer think about the conversation that night, and no longer have any illusions about the future.Shen Yi's voice would still grab every possible gap and sneak into his mind.

—Love someone you can love.

He was agitated by the sound.

The sound of cicadas kept coming from outside the window, and the teacher's lecture on the podium seemed to be in an illusion, fluctuating high and low, near and far.

"...Among the authors of modern poetry, Haizi, Gu Cheng... have strong emotions and beautiful language..."

The wind blew again from the window, carrying a little heat, and stirred the paper on the table. The corner of the light paper was lifted by the wind, and the verses printed on the paper suddenly entered his eyes.

i want to draw the morning

draw dew

the smile that can be seen

draw all the youngest

love without pain

draw in imagination

my sweetheart

she has never seen a cloud

her eyes are the color of the sky

she always looks at me

forever, watch

never turn around suddenly

The mood described in that poem is so similar to Qin Yang today.

Shen Yi's appearance, so naturally floating on the page, is vague and elusive - that is the appearance of his lover, which can be imagined without imagination.

It's just that the portrait is like a painting, unrealizable and untouchable.

Love without pain is impossible, right?

He once thought that all literature is fiction, and the characters in the stories are all hypocritical and artificial.But when love happened to me, I realized that the seemingly uniform "heartache" and "discomfort" really made people want to cover their hearts and couldn't breathe.

Especially when you're in love with an impossible person, heartache Youche.

The wind became stronger, and the A4 paper on the table was almost blown up. He stretched out his right hand unconsciously to hold it down, and sighed slowly and silently.

really tired.Suddenly feel so.

The figure of the teacher on the podium gradually blurred.He lay down on the table exhausted, with his right hand as a pillow, his head turned to the left, facing the midsummer shade and blue sky outside the window.

Looking at such a vibrant scene, he felt that the energy in his body was constantly draining away in the hot summer air.

—Love someone you can love.

Shen Yi, although you didn't notice it, why are you always so cruel to me?

The corners of the eyes seem a little wet.

Qin Yang closed his eyes, letting the tears that he shed inadvertently evaporate in the air.

When the school bell rang, boys and girls greeted each other loosely with their schoolbags on their backs, and left the classroom in groups of three and four.

In summer, even though it is already five o'clock, the sky is still as clear and bright as two or three o'clock. The sun has no intention of leaving get off work at all, and it still spares no effort to shine and heat in the sky.But the cicadas on the tree outside the window became lazy, and even their chirping became perfunctory.

Qin Yang tidied up the table without haste, arranged the materials handed out in the Chinese class and stuffed them into the drawer, and was about to pick up his schoolbag and leave when a figure stepped forward, blocking the sunlight.

"For you, a gift."

Wen Yu stretched out his hand, and there was a round pebble lying in the center of his open palm.

Qin Yang looked at the stone and took it silently.

"I picked it up when we went camping the day before yesterday. There is a stream next to the camping site, and the stones in it are quite beautiful." Wen Yu explained with a smile, "Look carefully, there are patterns."

"Thank you." Qin Yang put the stone into his schoolbag, expressionless on his face.

"It's a pity that you didn't go, but there's nothing you can do." Wen Yu followed him and left the classroom, seemingly in a good mood, "By the way, is your brother better?"

"never mind."

"That's good."

Walking down the teaching building, the sun hanging in the western sky is still very dazzling, and their figures are stretched very long on the school road.

Wen Yu saw that Qin Yang was not in a high mood, so he wanted to ease the atmosphere: "Qin Yang, you are not in a good mood, what's wrong? You couldn't hang out with us, are you so unhappy? I didn't expect you to be so collectively conscious people, haha."

Qin Yang didn't answer her words, and it seemed that he didn't want to answer.

The atmosphere suddenly became more awkward.

Wen Yu followed behind him, although he felt depressed, but after all, he had just quarreled with him some time ago, and it was hard to reconcile, and he didn't want to repeat the same mistakes, so he asked cautiously: "Are you in a bad mood? Talking to your brother again in argument?"

Qin Yang suddenly stopped in his tracks and turned around: "Are you up for a while?"

"Ah? No, it's all right."

"Then take a stroll with me." Qin Yang said, his expression still gloomy.

Although Wen Yu didn't understand, he still nodded:

"Row."

Shen Yi also received a message from Qin Yang, saying that he had an appointment with a friend today and would not be coming back for dinner.

Such things are quite rare, if not terribly unusual.

Therefore, Shen Yi subconsciously called and asked him carefully who he had an appointment with and when he would be back; but in the end he suppressed this impulse: after all, Qin Yang is no longer a child, so there is no need to worry about it So strict.

It is a good thing that he is willing to play with his friends.

Only in this way, Shen Yi felt that there was no need to go home and prepare dinner. He could handle dinner anywhere by himself; it seemed a bit miserable to go back and cook alone to eat alone.

At this time, Xu Hao's call rang in time.

"Shen Yi. Are you free tonight? Let's have dinner together."

There was such a tacit understanding, he couldn't help laughing: "Okay, I'm just worried about how to pass dinner alone."

"Great! It just so happens that Yue Wei came back today, and Ye Zi is shopping with her. Do you mind if I call them both?"

Hearing that name, Shen Yi was startled.It took several seconds for him to recall: "Chen Yuewei?"

"That's right, Chen Yuewei, who moved to another city after graduating from high school, do you still remember? She came back the day before yesterday and seems to be staying here for a few days. This opportunity is rare, why don't we have a small class reunion with just a few of us. You Shouldn't you have an opinion?"

Impossible not to remember.

Shen Yi was a little embarrassed, but still didn't say anything.

Xu Hao on the other end said heartily as usual, "Then it's settled, I'll send you the address later" and hung up the phone.

It can't be blamed on Xu Hao's nervousness. He probably forgot that Shen Yi and Chen Yuewei had a brief relationship in high school.

I said it was short because it lasted less than a month before we broke up.

Looking back now, Shen Yi doesn't even remember who first mentioned the breakup. As for the month they were together, he didn't seem to have any special memories.

What a silly love affair.

Only Shen Yi still vaguely remembers the opportunity for the beginning of the relationship.

It was the spring of the second year of high school, half a year had passed since my mother remarried, and Shen Yi had been smoking cigarettes quietly for half a year, but no one in the family noticed his changes.

At that time, he was not very familiar with Xu Hao and Ye Zi, his later friends, and he kept a friendly distance from other students in the class, and he was not very enthusiastic about anything.

It is very similar to the current Qin Yang.

Chen Yuewei was arguably the most beautiful girl in the class at that time. She had shoulder-length hair and was fair and delicate.Her outstanding looks, coupled with her excellent grades, made her a well-known presence not only in her class, but also in the whole school.

Especially in the group of boys, many people regard her as a goddess.

Such a nearly perfect existence naturally didn't have much overlap with Shen Yi at that time.Shen Yi, a sophomore in high school, is in a low period of emotion, and doesn't have much thought on the opposite sex.Chen Yuewei, who was shining in everyone's eyes, was nothing more than a prettier female classmate to him.

So what happened later was beyond his and everyone's expectations.

Girls are sometimes scary creatures.

When the relationship is good, I can’t wait to share all the clothes, and I have to dress like twins when I go shopping. My sister is hurt by a stinky man, and she doesn’t hesitate to turn into a shrew and swear in the street. She treats her heart and soul for her. It sticks together all day and is not greasy at all.In the eyes of others, it is almost as good as being gay.

It's just that once such a deep and good relationship is torn apart, its energy will be so powerful that it will shake the world and make ghosts cry.

You can hate her as much as you love, and you can hate her as much as you are good to her.It may be good to turn your face and deny people, but if you are a little more stingy, you may be stabbed in the back.Even if the temper is more intense, it is possible to do things that harm others and benefit oneself.

Maybe girls' emotions have always been extreme, either love or hate.

It's too immature and ostentatious, so extreme and strong.

If you grow up a little bit more, after being baptized by time and tempered by the years, you will probably become more gentle and mature.

Girls in high school are at the peak of such intense and extreme emotions, and they are full of self-righteous self-confidence and publicity. They either despise or appreciate the things that appear in their eyes.

Obviously, Chen Yuewei, who is almost perfect in the eyes of boys, is an object of contempt for some girls.

When the spring of the second year of high school was coming to an end, rumors about Chen Yuewei began to ferment in the circle of some girls in the school.

At first, someone saw her dating a boy in McDonald's in the evening, and then rumors began to spread that she was dating boys from other schools; I don't know how much she loves to play; later, someone said that she stole someone else's boyfriend...

All kinds of rumors were happily circulated in all corners of the school without any basis, and the people who passed them on by word of mouth never thought of checking their authenticity, and couldn't wait to pass it on to another friend who didn't know.

In this way, relying on the powerful gossip network of the girls, one afternoon in late spring, even Shen Yi, who had been keeping his ears to the outside world, heard those groundless rumors.

The last period of the day happened to be physical education class, and the outside sun was fierce, so the teacher took them to exercise in the indoor gymnasium throughout the physical education class.That day, everyone was lazy and not in high spirits. The teacher told them to disband on the spot and go to free activities 10 minutes before the end of get out of class.

Everyone went out one after another, the boys took their basketballs and ran to the court outside, while the girls gathered in twos and threes, planning to go back to the classroom first.

Shen Yi happened to be on duty that day and had to be responsible for recycling the leftover sports equipment in the indoor gymnasium.Although he was not very motivated, he still obediently put the scattered equipment back into the basket.

To his surprise, Chen Yuewei also stayed.

"Let me help you, it's too hard to be alone." She smiled, brushed her hair, and bent down to pick up the badminton racket that was thrown in the corner.

"No, I'm fine."

Chen Yuewei still insisted on staying, and silently picked up the scattered badmintons.Seeing this, Shen also didn't say anything.

"Wow, it's good to pretend." A voice suddenly sounded in the quiet gymnasium, and it was not deliberately lowered.

Shen Yi looked up, and saw a few girls in the same class standing at the door, looking at Chen Yuewei who was bending over to pick up the ball in front of him with half-smiles, harsh words kept coming as if chatting casually.

"You really know how to pretend, as if you are really gentle and considerate."

"Who doesn't know that she likes to steal other people's boyfriends, tsk."

"Always look innocent and harmless, it makes me sick to see it."

"It's scary to be a duplicity person."

……

Such words, although they didn't specify who they were, but even if they were as slow as Shen Yi, they could guess who those girls were talking to, so they couldn't help but secretly glanced at Chen Yuewei.

But she just lowered her head and continued to pack the utensils silently, but her face was pale and she bit her lower lip tightly.

As if enduring.

People always see others from their own perspective.With colored glasses and natural labels, imagine and speculate on the behavior and thoughts of others.

Even though he doesn't understand himself, he thinks he can see through others.And, think that what you think is the truth.

So opinionated.

Although the matter has nothing to do with himself, Shen Yi also feels that it is too shameless to humiliate others for no reason.He couldn't help but clenched the basketball in his hand and slammed it on the ground vigorously.

In the huge and empty gymnasium, there was a huge echo in an instant.

The girls were also taken aback by the sudden sound, stopped their slander with relish, and looked at Shen Yi reproachfully.

Before they could speak, Shen Yixian said coldly: "Are you still leaving? Don't hinder me from cleaning up."

Those girls were a little angry, but they couldn't say anything to Shen Yi, so they could only curse a few words in a low voice, and then left in dismay.

Finally, there were only the two of them left in the gym.

Chen Yuewei raised her pale face and forced a smile at him.It seems to be thanking you.

Shen Yi threw the last basketball into the basket and watched the sunlight cast down from the skylight above the gymnasium. The evening sun warmly divided the stadium into two worlds, one light and one dark. Chen Yuewei happened to be standing on the dividing line between light and dark, Stepping on the darkness under the feet, but the face is bathed in the sun.

"The sunset is so beautiful." She spoke first, smiling shyly.

He nodded and looked at the sunset.

"Yes."

The sunset is so beautiful.

No matter how bad the world is, the sunset is still beautiful.

So beautiful, it makes me want to cry.