my old lover

Zhongxuan knew that Qu Jiao would never forgive her.

So these few days of intimacy that seems to be nothing, those seemingly sweet but in fact sex, are basically the best punishment for the mistakes I made in the past.

Zhongxuan was a little desperate, even a little self-defeating. It wasn't that she didn't want to, but she didn't dare; it wasn't that she couldn't, but she couldn't.

She loved Qu Jiao, but it was actually more clumsy than Qu Jiao loved her.

She can't be as round and smooth as porcelain, nor can she give up resistance and become an old hemp rope that loses its elasticity.

She used naughtiness to make Qu Jiao happy, she used anger to get Qu Jiao's attention, and she could also use hunger strikes to make Qu Jiao feel sorry for her... She could only do so much.

As long as Qu Jiao doesn't care about her, she has nothing else to do to keep Qu Jiao.This is her most frustrating cognition.

"Qu Jiao..." Zhong Xuan buried her head lower, and said softly, "I was raped by a man, just after you left..."

"After he went to prison, I started to receive psychological treatment. At first, I didn't want to get better. You are gone, who can I contact even if I can go out? I can't meet the people I want to meet the most."

"Then, my mother said, you are a stubborn child, she can see your intentions for me, you must still be waiting for me. She hopes that I can start again with you...my mother...is so old, I'm still making her worry, and I'm really useless..." Zhongxuan shook her head, her hair loosely scattered on Qu Jiao's knee.

"I know you are waiting for me, and it is because you are waiting for me that I have the courage to come out of the past. I think every day, I want to get you back, give you happiness, and realize the things I used to do. Unreliable promises..."

"Before I left home to look for you, I issued a military order with my mother. If I can't chase you back, I won't go back either."

Zhongxuan paused for a long time, giving Qu Jiao time to accept this information.

Qu Jiao also panicked as she wished.

As long as she thinks that Zhongxuan has suffered a little bit of grievance, she will feel uncomfortable for a long time, let alone Zhongxuan has suffered such a thing...

Or when I don't know it at all, and I'm not around.

Zhongxuan... Qu Jiao grasped Zhongxuan's shoulder... Even his own heart got into a mess...

Zhongxuan shook her head, pursed her lips, and said in a firm voice, "I don't want you to sympathize with me or pity me. Playing the same move a few more times is just perfunctory for you. The sympathy caused by pretending to be pitiful is not the same... ""It's a fabricated story, you will only be angry after knowing it, but what if all this happened for real?"

You will definitely feel sorry for me, although you will not say now...

"Qu Jiao, I love you, I really, really love you." Every "really", Zhongxuan said very seriously, and the pronunciation was very sharp.

"You asked me if I knew what you gave. Now I know. In the past, I just pretended not to see it. It's just that I dare not admit that someone loves me so much..." People always habitually face themselves Turn a blind eye to everything in front of you.

"But now, Qu Jiao, what you mean to me is more than just a lover. You are my light, my hope, and my faith and courage to get out of the gloom."

"I love you, loving you has become my life, and your love for me is the reason and strength for me to live, because you love me, so I go out of the past and walk towards you."

Zhongxuan wanted to engrave every word of these words into her heart, telling herself that she must do what she said, must love Qu Jiao well, and firmly built back her own city wall.

"I know that I can only blame myself for the current situation. If you don't forgive me, I don't blame you. I don't expect you to love me and forgive me. I don't want to win you back by cheating. Without your care, I can only lick it by myself."

But I really hope that you can accept me again, not because of my scars, but because you love me, and love me who will get back to you even if you are begging for nothing.

And not because of the pain of the past that has become history.

Excluding those scars, in fact, my growth is closely related to you. It is because of you that I understand how to love someone.

Even if you are still clumsy, I hope every little bit of progress is for you.

Zhong Xuan said cautiously, "But Qu Jiao, even if you only have a moment, a second, a moment, you feel distressed and sad, can you tell me?"

"Although I know, I've always made you sad, made you sad, and tired of worrying about you... I always don't let you worry about it, and I always don't grow up."

"But I also want to work hard to grow. Even if I can't grow into a big tree like you, I have to become a shrub that can accommodate small animals, and become a person who can stand by your side and take up a small sky together, which can reduce your burden. Your concern can promote your future."

"In the past, I always wanted to shrink under your wings and let you protect me. I forgot that you also have dreams. You lost a lot for our future, much more than me. I gradually got used to it. I, forgot that you paid so much for such an insignificant me."

"So, I looked for you, found you, saved you, and even thought about pursuing you again... just give me a chance, Qu Jiao, as long as you give me a chance... I will definitely prove it to you again... "

"Qu Jiao...I...I love you..."

Zhongxuan looked at Qu Jiao, said these words slowly but firmly, stopping every sentence.

Although still a little shy, a little timid, and a little don't know where to put my eyes.

But this "I love you", she can look into Qu Jiao's eyes and say it a thousand times, ten thousand times, even when it comes to both of them blushing and feeling nauseous... As long as Qu Jiao doesn't stop, Zhong Xuan can't stop. Happy to show her love.

Qu Jiao looked at the person in front of him, such a Zhongxuan, such a somewhat different Zhongxuan.

Qu Jiao had mixed feelings in his heart, but he was also a little relieved.

I even wanted to hold Zhongxuan in my arms immediately, telling her not to be afraid, and me.

But thinking about what Zhongxuan did in the past...

Qu Jiao is not a saint, she can't get rid of the knot in her heart so quickly.

Zhongxuan also understands that no matter how beautiful she is now, it is impossible for Qu Jiao to be so moved by his confession that he immediately forgives her.

Qu Jiao lowered his head, then shook his head.

Zhong Xuan nodded, what should be said has already been said.

... After all this tossing, both of them were a little physically and mentally exhausted.

The night is getting deeper, and tomorrow is New Year's Eve.In fact, it is more accurate to say that it is past zero now, and it is already the [-]th of the new year.

Zhongxuan stood up, because of hypoglycemia, she was a little unsteady and wobbled a few times.She went back to her room to tidy up, looked at her toiletries on the wash rack, thought about it and still didn't put it away.

Let it go... Zhongxuan was careful.Firstly, it can remind Qu Jiao to think of himself, and secondly, maybe he will return to Qu Jiao's house after this, so he is too lazy to move.

Today's Zhongxuan seems to be more sure of Qu Jiao's heart, and firmly believes that Qu Jiao will forgive her again.

What if you don't forgive me?

She still has a lifetime to spend with Qu Jiao.

After all, Qu Jiao is still in love with her.

It is a blessing to meet a long-term lover.

After tidying up a bit, there was nothing to tidy up.

Mingming has only lived here for a few days, but Zhongxuan feels that he and Qu Jiao have lived together again for several years.

Standing at the door, Zhongxuan turned to Qu Jiao and said, "I'm going back to sleep in the house I rented today, and you should go to bed earlier. If you have anything to do, you can call me."

After speaking, he wrote his phone number on the note on the shoe cabinet at the door.

In fact, she could memorize Qu Jiao's phone number long ago, but she still thought, what if Qu Jiao wanted to find her?

Qu Jiao was silent for a long time and did not reply to her. Zhong Xuan felt a little discouraged when she saw that she ignored her, but she still smiled concealedly, "I also rented a house myself, and I always live here with you for free. It's not a problem, besides, it can't be cheap, can't the landlord?"

If we were still living under the same roof today... Qu Jiao and himself would be embarrassed, right?

It's better to give the other party a few days to cool down, and it happens to be a Chinese New Year holiday, so I have time to die with myself.

Zhongxuan opened the door, and Qu Jiao said in a deep voice, "I'll drive you back... It's not safe to be alone at night."

The implication is that I don't trust you to go home alone.

Zhongxuan felt a little relieved and secretly happy, but was also moved by Qu Jiao's kindness to him.It's such a time, and I'm still thinking about her... and I wonder if it's because I'm so talented and talkative so well, so Qu Jiao has relaxed?

Sure enough, if you talk well, you can find a wife easily!

Zhongxuan was indeed a fool, he forgot about the pain when the scar healed, and left these messy information to Qu Jiao to accept and ignore it.Although the confession is touching, the essence is still heartless.

Qu Jiao looked at Zhongxuan's red and swollen big eyeballs like a clown's nose, and he was able to wander wildly, thinking it was a bit ridiculous.

But in order to maintain the current character design, Qu Jiao did not show it.

When going out, he closed the door casually, and suddenly remembered Zhong Xuan's injuries, and unconsciously shed two more tears?

Qu Jiao, you really are hopeless.

You have been poisoned by a poison called Zhongxuan, and you enjoy yourself, there is no cure for it.

After driving to the downstairs of Zhongxuan's house, Qu Jiao couldn't help feeling sad when he looked at this dilapidated village in the city.

What was Zhongxuan like when he first arrived in this city?

She always involuntarily worries for Zhongxuan, and subconsciously defends Zhongxuan. This is a rotten problem that cannot be changed at all. Fortunately, Zhongxuan can bear her to take care of her like a mother.

How can there be a lover like this?Already complaining impatiently.

In fact, this is the result of Zhongxuan always asking people to worry about her.

Zhongxuan took Qu Jiao upstairs with some anxiety. There were only some simple furniture in the room. The house was not big, but it was already the limit of what Zhongxuan could afford.

The house is not well furnished, just the gray walls, and there are no electrical appliances. There is only a small bed with a very big bear occupying about half of the place.

Qu Jiao remembered that this bear was given to Zhongxuan by her.

The author has something to say:

I'm sorry, I'm sorry~ I was wrong, I thought I set it to update every other day, and it would update itself, but I was so stupid that I forgot to click OK, and there was a power outage last night, so I didn't check it online. I'm really sorry, I'm sorry little fairies ~~

I don't know what the cuties will think of when they see my title?

Anyways what I thought was "didn't tell you yet, sorry I love you, I can't breathe without you..."

That's right, it's the Chinese version of "I'm Sorry I Love You" sung by Mika Nakashima's "Snow Flower". Am I really getting old? 23333 often sings "The Fence Woman and the Dog" with her friends...

Oh~ I can't breathe without you...it's you!That's right it's you!Your comments and favorites give me the air to live~

Hehe~ So if you guys don’t comment more, the author will be suffocated~

I can’t update the text~ Wood~ I love you~