lucky me

The days with Yang Hao made me feel very proud, but also cautious. Yang Hao’s background, background, appearance, and figure have satisfied all my fantasies, and my vanity, which I haven’t seen for a long time, seems to have been greatly relieved. Satisfied, I even imagined the whole world announcing, look, I am amazing, look at how awesome and outstanding my boyfriend is.

Sometimes I am with colleagues and friends, and I always reveal the happiness I have now in an ambiguous way. I have a rich second-generation boyfriend who has a car and a house, and is handsome enough to satisfy all my vanity and superiority. Feeling overwhelmed, but now and then I find myself a little too embarrassing, and I don't care about the feelings of the people around me. In fact, other people don't even care about your superiority, which can only add unnecessary resentment.But how fearless I was at that time, I even felt that even if I slapped the table with the boss today and left, I didn’t care, anyway, my boyfriend is rich, and this kind of thinking made me live more and more. Floating, always in a state of buoyancy, I even tried to ask Yang Hao, "You take care of me, I don't want to go to work anymore." Recalling his expression at that time, I was probably really shocked for a moment.

Many things, I think I have a lot of retreats now, I don’t care about the job I’m holding on to now, I don’t even care about the direction of life I thought clearly before, what I’m going to do in the future, I think I should It is suitable to be a good wife and mother. I will definitely take care of my children and family very well. I will do my best to be Yang Hao’s good helper. He is valiant outside. I will handle everything at home and manage our relationship well. room home.

This kind of thinking is getting stronger day by day, and it also affects me day by day. My work starts to make mistakes, and there are often many detailed problems in the design. With the company’s original status of being valued by others, my current job is simply muddling along, and I don’t put my mood on work at all. It seems that work is just a way for me to pass the time. I just wait to get off work every day. Go back to Yang Hao.As for Yang Yu's part-time teacher, I also quit after Yang Yu's semester ended. I don't feel that I don't need to tire myself out for such a humble salary. together with Yang Hao.

I don't even know that my life has become so out of control, and the original blandness I hoped for with Yang Hao has begun to feel dull. Sometimes when I am walking alone on the road, I actually feel I was uncertain and flustered, but I didn't want to face it, otherwise I would admit my failure and admit that I was not worthy of my current life and Yang Hao.

Recently, I unknowingly noticed that my weight has increased, and my stomach seems to be responding. Every time I look in the mirror, I have to deliberately put my stomach away, and deceive myself again. It seems that Yang Hao is also aware of this change in me, and I always feel that he has something. A sense of disgust towards me, maybe I think too much, aren't we still getting along?Maybe this is a test for two people who want to be together, I think we can go through it hand in hand, just like we made an appointment at the beginning.

Suddenly I felt that I hadn’t traveled for a long time, and I wanted to discuss with Yang Hao to go to a distant place for a few days together. Yang Hao also agreed very normally that he would take a vacation when the company was not busy and go abroad for a few days. I am very looking forward to it. First of all, I really thought that I should use such a rich boyfriend to drag him out and hurt those single dogs who hurt me. On the other hand, I suddenly felt that our recent sex life has become more and more serious. It's like a routine, the feeling of tension and excitement at the first touch has disappeared, but the burning passion that replaced it has not appeared, but a kind of routine like an old couple, maybe it's a warm thought. □, I seem to think about Yang Hao’s body when I’m free, just thinking about □□, but when I actually start doing it, I don’t feel so much looking forward to it. Yang Yu’s figure is perfect, his skin is smooth and healthy, and his face is handsome Beautiful, with abs and pecs, I can't put it down, but when you've done a lot with such a stunner, you've done everything you can think of, and the novelty wears off.

I suddenly felt a sense of crisis. Speaking of which, the relationship between me and Yang Hao is just a boyfriend relationship, not even a partner. We have only been together for a few months. We may never be together again, just like what he said at the beginning It's just a try, when the time comes, if it really happens, what will happen to me, I have nothing, from heaven to hell, I tied myself to Yang Hao childishly, I can't wait to rely on him, just to give up on yourself.This feeling of unreliability kept sweeping over, and I started to look back at myself in the past four months. I have fallen too much, and I am not even the positive me anymore, like a nouveau riche that's it.

This feeling is getting stronger and stronger, but I can still find various reasons to comfort myself. I have learned to restrain myself a lot and manage our life well, but I don’t know what else I can do besides this. , Anxiety and restlessness are constantly devouring me, but I have to tell myself that this will pass, everything will be fine, maybe it’s just my own illusion, but God seems to want you to kill you when you wake up One blow, until the moment of collapse came, I was still constantly comforting myself.

It was an unusual afternoon. At that time, I felt that I was slowly correcting myself. At that time, I found that reading can make me quiet and not impetuous. I also started to follow Yang Hao to the gym Exercising, although I was still a little uncomfortable at the beginning, I started to live every day of work seriously, as serious and cautious as before, although everything seemed a bit late, my position in the company It is indeed difficult to return to the focus of training as before, which is highly valued, but I let myself know that this is the consequence that I should bear. My behavior determines the status quo and I must bear it myself, so I learned to let go and let go. Be open-minded, don't worry too much, don't think too much, in short, everything is on the way, after a few flashy months, I finally didn't lose myself too far.

It seems that life is really like a drama, with ups and downs, ups and downs, and another ups and downs. That was the night when I made an appointment with Yang Hao to go to a restaurant to celebrate my birthday. I just wanted to be together I had a good meal, just like I used to be alone. I rarely met Yang Hao’s friends, and he didn’t see me very often, so I think it’s best for two people to live together. Of course, Yang Hao recommended him the best local restaurant. The restaurant I highly recommend is a very high-end western restaurant with a great feeling. The food there is expensive and exquisite. I feel like I am eating RMB every time I eat.

The two of us happily chatted about some funny things in the past. When we were talking about a very handsome boy with the same name as me in our math class in college, someone suddenly called "Yang Hao", yes There was a sudden cry, and we all looked back. It was a very fashionable and handsome boy. He said he was a boy. He should be about our age, but his skin was really good, and he had a baby face. I guess it was Someone Yang Hao knew.I thought he would get up to say hello, but unexpectedly he sat still, his eyes just staring at the man, full of surprise, and a hint of embarrassment, I swear I even saw a hint of excitement.

It wasn't until the boy walked in front of us that Yang Hao got up, and I got up too, only to find a tall, serious man in formal attire standing next to him,

"What a coincidence, you guys are coming to eat too."

"Yes...."

The first time I saw Yang Hao, I felt like I was stuttering

"I just finished watching a movie with Chen Chuan, so I came over to have something to eat."

"Long time no see," the man named Chen Chuan greeted me, and then said "Hello" and shook hands with me.

"Who is this? Are you dating?" The man asked directly without shyness at all.

"Oh, I forgot to introduce, this is my friend, Wang Ke"

"Hello" When someone came to greet me, he still didn't forget to look at me carefully, thinking about it, I suddenly felt that the current situation seemed to be quite embarrassing, but suddenly there was a feeling that I was intervening in another group of people The world is the same, and I don't really belong here.

"Don't bother you anymore" Then the two nodded and walked away, I swear, Yang Hao, chased that figure until it disappeared, and I stood with him, until Yang Hao turned his head and saw me, and then very Embarrassed smiled, I swear, that was the first time Yang Hao was embarrassed in front of me, he used to look calm and confident.My curiosity arose immediately, and I kept asking about the situation of the visitor. Yang Hao just said that he was a friend I had known since childhood, and I couldn’t ask about the rest. After that day, neither of us had much We communicated, but we all ate our own food, occasionally looked at each other and smiled, and on the way back when we drove back, we all seemed to be absent-minded.Yang Hao was quite silent all the way. This was completely different from the usual time when we were not chatting, he was driving and I was playing with my mobile phone. The atmosphere was so weird.

At this time, my imagination has reached an unbelievable level, and my brain opening is boundless, but the starting point of all is that I am sure that Yang Hao definitely liked that man.But Yang Hao has never been in a relationship with anyone, he will not lie to me, so he has a crush on it, and I have also had a crush on many people before, it is not a big deal, but my curiosity is only getting stronger and stronger.

I mustered up my courage and thought about asking one last time, but it was still the original answer, so I didn't ask any more. Then, when I was about to get home, Yang Hao was still very angry suddenly, "I said it." , I’m just a friend, I keep asking, are you annoying or not, who do you really think of yourself?” The voice of the next sentence gradually became quieter, but it sounded so heartbreaking that I almost couldn’t hold back my tears and fell, but He still tried his best to pretend to be calm and looked out the window.

We didn't say anything before we went home, and I suddenly felt that I was really empty at the moment, as if my whole body had been hollowed out, I wanted to go home, go back to the company apartment, I wanted to be alone and stay quietly , and even went to cry, I said to Yang Hao without hesitation, "There is something wrong with the company, please send me back."

Yang Hao didn't say anything, he just drove with all his heart, the moment he put me down at the intersection of the company, the moment I collapsed the car and closed the door, the car left behind me quickly, tears could not stop falling, I don't know how I got back to the apartment, I don't even know what I should do, I think about taking a shower, sleeping, this night is over, let's save everything until tomorrow, but this night is not did not end as expected