old love still

The dust on the lampshade of the street lamp was washed by the rain and became clear, and the light it cast was brighter than before, but it attracted more flying insects that were happy to hit it regardless of their own safety.The wet ground is like a blurred mirror, printed with the light of colorful neon lights on the street, refracting an upside-down grotesque world in which numerous shadows are floating.

Kong Daixue lowered her head, watching the toes of the two people alternately appearing in her sight, stepping on the colorful reflections together, she subconsciously slowed down her pace and walked forward in line with her steps.

A gust of wind blew, bringing with it a bit of coolness, Kong Daixue brushed her hair by her ear, "Midsummer is almost over."

"Yes." Lin Zhongyue turned her head to look at her red dress with a deep V on the back and said, "Autumn is coming soon."

"Autumn is good. I like the refreshing feeling. It's not as hot as summer and not as cold as winter."

"What about spring?"

"Spring has been praised a lot, but it makes me feel a little disgusted." Kong Daixue gave this answer after serious thinking. She turned her head and looked back at Lin Zhongyue. Those deep and clear eyes like the sea made Kong Daixue startled. She was shocked. When I felt that I was about to fall, I quickly asked, "Then, what about you? What season do you like?"

"Spring." Lin Zhongyue laughed, as if recalling something happy.

"why?"

"Hope, I think it represents hope." Lin Zhongyue lowered her head and lifted the bag on her shoulder.

Kong Daixue chuckled, and jokingly said, "Why didn't I realize that you have poetic feelings before?"

"Poet is my dream before."

"It can be done now! This dream is not difficult to realize."

"But the things I want to sing are gone." Lin Zhongyue raised the corners of her mouth, looked up at the rare shining stars in the dark night and said to Kong Daixue, "I thought Dad liked poetry, so I wanted to be a poet. But then I realized that he didn't like poetry, but simply loved the person who wrote poetry..."

"your mom?"

"Ah."

"It feels like they are very happy."

"It should be like this, if... without me."

Lin Zhongyue's slightly dim eyes made Kong Daixue dumbfounded, she lowered her head and opened her mouth and said, "Every child is the treasure of parents, you..."

"I don't need comfort." Lin Zhongyue interrupted her, lowered her head and said, "It would be different without me, so... I am not innocent."

"But you're not wrong!" Kong Daixue suddenly took Lin Zhongyue's hand and stood still, and now there was a little more anger on her usually delicate and elegant face, which made the makeup cracked.

Lin Zhongyue was not frightened, but just stared at Kong Daixue who was holding her hand... In this street after the rain, there were very few pedestrians, only the side lane was busy with traffic, but it did not prevent her from hearing her heartbeat, watching There were dots of light in her eyes, and she suddenly wanted to reach out and touch her eyebrows, but...she couldn't.

She curled her lips into a smile.

Kong Daixue realized her gaffe in this smile, and when she withdrew her hand, her fingertips carelessly caressed the long scar on the back of the opponent's hand, "I'm sorry, did I hurt you just now?"

Lin Zhongyue shook her head, raised her hand and pointed to the scar and said, "It doesn't hurt anymore, I'm not so fragile."

"I... didn't mean that." Kong Daixue explained annoyedly, "I don't think you...you are weak or the kind of person who needs care...I just..."

"I understand." Lin Zhongyue sighed and said, "Nine times out of ten, life is unsatisfactory. You don't have to feel sorry for me, or... sympathize with me, just take it as my doom."

Kong Daixue's eyes widened in surprise, looking at the other party's calm appearance, the clean sadness in her eyes made her heart ache.

"Fate..." she muttered to herself, licking her lips, the lipstick was a little faded, she said, "You know...my parents, a pair of workaholics, when...my mother was pregnant with me, almost Knock me out, and later, after my grandma repeatedly persuaded me to give birth to me...But after giving birth to me, I didn't care about me. The longest time we spent together was during the days of my grandma's funeral..."

Lin Zhongyue held Kong Daixue's hand, but found that her hand was colder than her own.

Kong Daixue smiled and continued, "I was only 17 years old when my grandma passed away. I will never forget how I felt when I was alone in the funeral parlor waiting for my grandma to come. I really hated it at that time. I hated my parents. , hate God. Empathy, this is just a word, I don’t need such things as sympathy..."

Kong Daixue took a deep breath, and suddenly felt that she was talking too much, all kinds of things she had sworn to bury in her heart long ago, but now she was slightly at a loss for what to say.She stared at the other party's clear eyes and shrugged mockingly, "What I want to say is...whatever mood you are in right now is what I was just now."

"Thank you..." Lin Zhongyue lowered her head, looked at the hands holding each other and said in a low voice, "It's me...overthinking."

Kong Daixue became dazed looking at those drooping and dull eyes... How long ago was that?It was also on this street that the girl who bravely confessed to herself was blushing with youthful throbbing, unable to speak a complete sentence because of her nervousness, but her eyes were exceptionally clear, even though she was depressed You can see the tenacity and tenderness in your eyes even when you are excited...

The eyes of the same person crossed and overlapped in her mind, and Kong Daixue couldn't tell whether it was sad or regretful.She has experienced the feeling of loneliness but doesn't know what it's like to be alone. She knows the panic and pain when she is helpless, but she doesn't know how hard it is to bear the blame from the moment she was born.Some things, the past does not mean that they will be forgotten.

She felt tight and painful in her chest, and suddenly hugged her and said, "It's okay...it will be fine..."

This sudden hug made Lin Zhongyue's widened eyes moist in an instant, blurred his vision, and could no longer see the surrounding things clearly. The warmth in the embrace was clearly conveyed to the whole body. Only when trembling fingertips touched the other person's back did she realize that this was not a dream...

"Go home..." Lin Zhongyue just patted Kong Daixue on the back.

"Yes." Kong Daixue left her embrace and said, "Go home."

The two looked at each other, lowered their heads tacitly and continued to walk forward side by side. The hands of the two were very close, and they could hold each other's hand as long as they moved a little to the side.

"You... Are your parents okay now?" Lin Zhongyue asked, looking at Lou Dong not far ahead.

"They're fine, they've settled abroad, but they're still very busy." Kong Daixue forced a smile.

"Are you going to go abroad in the future?"

"They have asked me this question many times, but I..." Kong Daixue paused, and said with a wry smile, "I'm not used to it."

Kong Daixue said it very euphemistically, but Lin Zhongyue knew that she was probably not used to being close to her parents. For so long, she thought she knew her well, but what she didn't expect was...it was all self-importance, and that's what she knew about her Rare, even insignificant.

During what she considered to be the most beautiful time of her life, they were not even a millimeter closer, nothing.

"Habits need to be formed. Slowly...get used to it."

"It's easy to say...but it's the same reason." Kong Daixue chuckled twice.

"Have you eaten yet?"

"Dinner? Not yet, but I don't plan to eat it." Kong Daixue doesn't like to eat after drinking, and always feels her stomach is bloated.

"Would you like to come to my house to eat?"

"Ah... I don't want it anymore." Kong Daixue quickly waved her hands and refused, "This is too bad, I have troubled you last time."

"It's nothing to worry about...and..." Lin Zhongyue said more and more quietly, she glanced at Kong Daixue and said weakly, "drinking hurts the stomach, and I don't eat..."

"I...Okay. I'll trouble you then." After saying that, Kong Daixue immediately regretted that her position was too unsteady, and the old relationship had not been repaid, and this owed another meal!But seeing Lin Zhongyue's worried look, she couldn't help but agree.

"Is there anything you want to eat?" Lin Zhongyue laughed triumphantly.

This smile dazzled Kong Daixue's eyes, as if she had never seen her smile so heartily.She suddenly asked herself, is such a person with bright eyes and kind eyes really someone who has had a relationship with her before?It seems that the surrounding is full of filth, only she is bright...Kong Daixue feels inexplicably...

This smile was the truest and most beautiful she had ever seen.

"Anything is fine, I don't choose." She swallowed her inexplicable emotions and said.

Lin Zhongyue thought for a while and said, "I'll see what to do, I don't know what dishes are left."

"If you don't have food, don't bother. I'll drive you to have a meal outside when you get downstairs."

"Next time." Lin Zhongyue whispered again, "Can you stop driving after drinking..."

"I see." Kong Daixue immediately agreed. Seeing her gloomy face, she thought she remembered something unpleasant and quickly changed the subject, saying, "The mushroom you made last time was really delicious."

"Really? I'll make it for you when I go back."

"Well! Good!" Kong Daixue nodded immediately, she realized that she could still treat someone so carefully, and even compromised clearly because of a disappointed expression...

The two looked at the building not far away together, thinking about each other.

The forest made of reinforced concrete will only look more intimate at night, and it will look warmer when it is decorated with lights.

Kong Daixue never dreamed that she would step in again after eating and sleeping at her ex's house.She stared at the cotton slippers she was stepping on. For the first time, she felt that this life was really a winding road. She thought that the road under her feet was just a straight road with a visible end, and she just needed to walk along the side of the road and meet many people. Just pass by.However...she now believes that some people can appear repeatedly in her life, and the most important thing is that she doesn't feel that the person in the reunion story is not entangled.

"Hello! Do you need my help?" Kong Daixue asked while standing at the kitchen door, poking her head.

Lin Zhongyue took out the vegetables from the refrigerator and said, "You can help me with the vegetables."

"Okay."

Kong Daixue walked over and took it naturally, and handed it to Lin Zhongyue while washing the carrots. The two people who didn't say a word acted very tacitly. Lin Zhongyue pressed the carrots on the cutting board, holding the knife in his left hand without rushing cutting.

It may be that the regular sound of cutting vegetables made Kong Daixue too relaxed, just like the feeling when she was waiting for her grandma to cook when she was a child, she actually hummed a little tune.Just as it was about to rinse, there was a soft bang beside it, and then Lin Zhongyue heard Lin Zhongyue lightly "hiss" and take a breath.

Bits of blood got into her eyes, Kong Daixue put down the dish in her hand, grabbed her hand and blurted out, "What's wrong!", stuffed her hand into her mouth and sucked it.

Lin Zhongyue blushed in shock and shame, immediately pulled it out, turned around, took out a piece of paper to wrap it up and said, "It's all right."

Kong Daixue didn't notice her expression, and directly pulled her hand over to wash the wound under the faucet. Only then did she realize that there were many small scars on this hand besides the horrific scar. He took a breath, and asked in a calm tone, "Is there a Band-Aid?"

Lin Zhongyue looked at her who was bending over to treat her wound, and nodded blankly before realizing that she couldn't see, so she said, "Yes."

"Where is it?" Kong Daixue stood up and asked.

Lin Zhongyue took one out of her apron pocket, but Kong Daixue snatched it away.

"I come."

Lin Zhongyue felt that her fingers were numb, and only her eyes were left with her careful and focused putting on the Band-Aid for herself.Perhaps, she should admit that she really doesn't know Kong Daixue very well.I didn't know that she would hum like a child when she was in a good mood, and that she would be so patient and considerate.But it is precisely because of these unknowns that a novel feeling slowly grows, itching.

"Okay!" Kong Daixue smiled.

"Thank you." Lin Zhongyue lowered her head, her ears were red.

"How about... let me do it?" Kong Daixue hesitated and said shyly, "Although it may taste bad. However, it might be better if you guide me by the side."

"It's okay. I'll do it." Lin Zhongyue shook her head and refused.

"It will hurt."

"Get used to it. It won't hurt." Lin Zhongyue didn't say anything, leaving her with a stubborn back.

Who is used to pain?Kong Daixue thought so in her heart, and looked at the tiny scars on Lin Zhongyue's hand, and guessed that no matter what she said, this woman would not listen.How can there be such a stubborn person!She looked at the woman's thin back, blinked her eyes, and helplessly picked up the dish to rinse it again.

After washing the dishes quietly, she found that there was no room for help, so she quietly walked out of the kitchen.When she stepped out, she glanced at her side face. Her concentration revealed her determination, and her serious eyes made people feel extremely at ease. At this moment, she suddenly understood why she said that she was used to pain.

Such people don't know how to speak out the pain with their mouths, and getting used to it doesn't mean they are numb.Probably living too seriously.How can I look like myself in a daze!Going by, muddled, not knowing where to go.

Kong Daixue stood on the balcony, leaning her hands on the railing and looking at the lights of the opposite building. Only a few windows were dark. She turned her head to look at the balcony of her own house, and laughed at herself.

How can I forget that the lights in my own home will never be lit by others.

The mobile phone interrupted Kong Daixue's thoughts at an inappropriate time, and the bell was ringing muffled in her bag. She walked over and sat on the sofa and flipped through her mobile phone. She glanced at the screen and saw a series of foreign numbers.

"Hi. Mom, what's the matter?"

"Nothing, just want to ask if you have eaten?"

"No, I'll eat it later. Have you eaten with Dad?"

"just eaten."

"Mom..." Kong Daixue hesitated to speak.

"Huh? What's wrong?"

"It's nothing, just listening to your voice is a little tired. You and Dad should have a good rest and don't be too busy."

After the voice fell to the ground, the other end was quiet for a while before laughing out loud, "I know. You too, don't be too busy. Don't eat takeaway all the time, it's bad for your health..."

"I don't eat it all the time...I'm just eating at a friend's house now!"

"Hey..." The other person sighed and continued, "Your father and I are planning to go back."

"what happened?"

"We're getting old, and we want to spend more time with you."

Kong Daixue said with a sore nose, "You are still young."

"You are so young! Half of my body is buried in the ground... Oops! Your father told me to go out. Come back later to talk."

"okay bye."

That end hung up hastily.Kong Daixue stared at the phone screen and laughed.Suddenly, I felt a little warmth in my chest, and the loneliness just now was swept away.Leaning on the sofa, in this strange room, she would experience such a rare feeling of peace of mind.

"The dishes are fried, and we can eat after a while." Lin Zhongyue came out of the kitchen and sat beside Kong Daixue, still smelling of oily smoke.

Kong Daixue snorted softly and said, "I'm sorry to trouble you."

"I'll do the same thing if you don't come, so I don't find it troublesome." Lin Zhongyue smiled understandingly and took off her apron and folded it on her lap.

It's not an unpleasant smell, but it's more like a fragrance that goes straight into Kong Daixue's nose, making him focus all his attention on the woman next to him, with long eyelashes, downcast eyes, and such a gentle and peaceful profile. ...Her heartbeat speeded up unconsciously.

Maybe her eyes were a little greasy. Lin Zhongyue turned her head and fell into Kong Daixue's dazed and focused eyes after feeling the strangeness... The two of them stared at each other quietly, without saying a word...

Boom...boom...boom...

There were fireworks outside.

When the colorful fireworks faintly fell from the dark sky, the two fascinated people were awakened.

"Food, rice is ready! I'll go and have a look!" Lin Zhongyue got up hastily and walked away.

Kong Daixue touched her cheek, and her face was a little hot!Looking at the limping figure, she squinted her long and narrow eyes, feeling the strange...

throbbing.