[Now] I want to hold your hand tightly

In a trance, he seemed to hear someone sobbing in his ear, and sometimes calling his name in a low voice. This voice sounded so familiar. A bright light flashed across the darkness. Xu Haoran opened his eyes, and his mother, whose eyes were red from crying, Sitting by the bed, it seems to be praying and repenting.

"Mom?" Xu Haoran called softly, suddenly there was a faint pain in his abdomen, Xu Haoran took a breath of cold air, and the ending sound of his shout changed.

When Mother Xu heard Xu Haoran's voice, she realized that her son had woken up.Xu Haoran looked at his mother with confused eyes, and the corners of his mouth twitched involuntarily because of the pain. He knew that this pain was different from stomach pain, and the pain in the abdomen seemed to be cut open by someone.Xu Haoran turned his head and saw a hanging bottle beside the bed, Xu Haoran understood something.

"Haoran, you're awake, what's wrong with you, Haoran? Haoran, tell mom what's wrong with you, and mom will rub it for you." Finally, Xu Haoran woke up, but Xu's mother couldn't let go of the big stone on her heart.Xu Haoran only has two months to live, and when Xu's mother thought that her son was about to leave her forever, Xu's mother couldn't help the tears in her eyes.

Xu Haoran shook his head, his mother's reaction was so abnormal that he couldn't figure out what happened for a moment. "I'm in the hospital?" Xu Haoran asked.

Mother Xu nodded while wiping her tears.

"Did I have an operation, is it the stomach?" Xu Haoran continued to ask, the only place he felt uncomfortable before he passed out was the stomach. Xu Haoran just reached out and touched his aching abdomen, and a wound remained. There, Xu Haoran guessed that his stomach might have undergone surgery.Has my stomach hurt so much that I need an operation?

The tears that had just been wiped away overflowed again, and Mother Xu bit the corner of her mouth and nodded silently.

"Mom, why have you been crying?" Xu Haoran reached out to wipe away the tears for his mother. I don't know when the years have left marks on the corners of the mother's eyes and temples. Xu Haoran never noticed it. He felt distressed for his mother. Tucking the silver-white hair on the sideburns behind her ears, she smiled at her mother, trying to reassure her, "It's just an operation, there's nothing to worry about, I should be fine now." Xu Haoran said so comfortingly I looked at my mother, but my heart was in a panic.Why did he have an operation, and he didn't even ask himself if he wanted to have an operation after he woke up. He has been with Zhou Jisheng for so many years and naturally knows that if the situation is urgent, he only needs to confirm with his family that the operation can be performed without waiting for the patient to nod, that is, Say... Is my stomach problem already at a serious level?

Xu's mother tried her best to suppress her tears, she didn't want Xu Haoran to see the clue.After wiping away the tears and stabilizing her emotions, Mother Xu showed a long-lost smile to Xu Haoran, and comforted Xu Haoran: "No, Mom is worried about you. If you live alone and don't have a place to stay at home, why did you end up in the hospital because of exhaustion? There's no reason." I was stabbed in the ground, is there something wrong with the school recently, why don't you ask Teacher Nie for a vacation?"

Hearing the title "Teacher Nie", Xu Haoran subconsciously froze for a moment, then shook his head at his mother, declining her kindness.Now that he looks like this, I'm afraid Nie Mi will be happier. An abandoned child has no use value from head to toe. I'm afraid Nie Mi and Professor Lin will kick him away immediately.

"By the way, which hospital am I in?" Xu Haoran didn't want to mention the school anymore. He just woke up, and he didn't know which kind person sent him to the hospital, and he didn't know which hospital he was in now.

Xu's mother looked at Xu Haoran with some doubts. Didn't Xu Haoran know who was taking care of him all the time before he entered the operating room?

"This is the hospital where Xiao Zhou works, Boren Hospital."

The hospital where Zhou Jisheng worked?Xu Haoran looked at his mother in surprise, the blurry figure that lingered in his mind when he had been in a coma had gradually become clear, it was the frightened face of Zhou Jisheng he saw before he passed out.It was Zhou Jisheng who came to save him in the end... Xu Haoran smiled bitterly helplessly, how could he, Xu Haoran, He De make Zhou Jisheng love him so much?

"Mom just rushed over, and I don't know much about your situation. When Xiao Zhou comes, let him tell you in person." Xu's mother covered Xu Haoran with the quilt, and she knew that it would be very difficult for her to continue talking to Xu Haoran. It might be a slip of the tongue, but Zhou Jisheng was by his side all day and night when Xu Haoran was in a coma, and Zhou Jisheng was the one who knew the situation best.

Xu Haoran nodded silently. Looking at the snow-white ceiling, he felt his heart beating nervously. He was looking forward to Zhou Jisheng's arrival, but he didn't want to see Zhou Jisheng again, because he didn't have any face to face the person who had betrayed him. .

Zhou Jisheng came back with a large bag of toiletries. As soon as he entered the ward, he saw Xu's mother sitting beside Xu Haoran's bed, quietly looking at her son on the bed.Zhou Jisheng wanted to walk over lightly, and he took the first step. The person lying on the bed turned his head and met the eyes of the person who was about to take the second step.

This glance seems to have been as long as several centuries... They haven't seen each other for a long time. At Xu Haoran's engagement ceremony more than a month ago, Zhou Jisheng and Xu Haoran accidentally looked at each other, but everything seemed like two people. As if saying goodbye silently, the two of them looked at each other for only a second before they separated.This time, they stared at each other, no one thought to avert their eyes, and no one thought to look away.They looked at each other quietly, as if time stood still for this.

However, after all, you have to recover from this look.

Mother Xu stood up and said to Zhou Jisheng, "Xiao Zhou, come back."

Zhou Jisheng nodded. He walked over to Mama Xu, and handed the purchased toiletries to Mama Xu's side: "Hey, Auntie, check to see if these are enough, and I'll buy them for you if they are not enough."

Xu's mother glanced at her son who was lying on the hospital bed and had been watching Zhou Jisheng. She took the toiletries Zhou Jisheng handed over, and stepped aside so that Zhou Jisheng could walk to Xu Haoran's side. "That's enough. I'm going to soak these things to sterilize them. You can accompany Haoran for me first." Xu's mother nodded to Zhou Jisheng, and then walked out of the ward.

In the ward, there were only two people who hadn't seen each other for a long time.Maybe it's not accurate to say that, Xu Haoran still saw Zhou Jisheng before he fell into a coma.But at that time his mind was not sober, so he did not count as having seen it.

"you……"

"you……"

After a long silence, the two spoke in unison, but neither of them said the rest. In the end, the two looked at each other and smiled, and the sunlight fell into the ward, as if all the barriers between them had been dissolved.

Zhou Jisheng sat by Xu Haoran's bed. He smiled at Xu Haoran and joked slightly: "You, you won't eat well if I'm not by your side, will you? A third of your stomach will be cut off, and you will grow up." Do you remember?"

When Xu Haoran heard Zhou Jisheng say this, the big rock hanging in his heart fell to the ground a little bit. He also smiled and said, "I have been busy since the new year, and it hasn't stopped until now. I can't care about it." What happened happened briefly, and he didn't want to bring up this topic in front of Zhou Jisheng to make him worry.

Zhou Jisheng understood, and he didn't want to disturb his brief reunion with Xu Haoran by mentioning those things.

"Are you my attending doctor?" Xu Haoran asked.

Zhou Jisheng replied: "No, gastroenterology is not my specialty, I asked President Chen to be your attending doctor."

"It's not good to go through the back door." Xu Haoran teased Zhou Jisheng. Zhou Jisheng never looked down on those entangled factions in Jingnan University, so he said this.

Zhou Jisheng pretended to raise his eyebrows: "Finding the right doctor for the patient is what a doctor should do."

Xu Haoran could not refute.

In the afternoon of this day, Dean Chen came to the ward to give Xu Haoran an examination.Dean Chen was serious throughout the whole process, which made Xu Haoran and Mother Xu nervous for a while. After the examination was over, Dean Chen only said: "It's not bad, treat with peace of mind." Then he left the ward.

Xu Haoran looked at Dean Chen's receding figure, wondering and wandering in his heart.Although he has never met Dean Chen, Zhou Jisheng once said that Dean Chen's medical ethics and personality are excellent, and he treats patients meticulously and seriously. But just now, Dean Chen only left this sentence and left. Xu Haoran was puzzled by Dean Chen. Why don't you tell yourself more about your condition?

Mother Xu had already chased Dean Chen out, and Zhou Jisheng was the only one left in the ward.Zhou Jisheng still looked at Xu Haoran lying on the hospital bed with a slight smile, but Xu Haoran felt that Zhou Jisheng's smile was not from the heart.

After another three or four days like this, Mother Xu and Zhou Jisheng accompanied Xu Haoran during the day, and Zhou Jisheng accompanied Xu Haoran at night.If he was sleepy or tired, Zhou Jisheng would lie on Xu Haoran's bed for a while. Sometimes when Xu Haoran woke up after sleeping, Zhou Jisheng had already fallen asleep lying on his bedside. Xu Haoran looked at the sleeping person and stretched out his hand to help him. Zhou Jisheng stroked the messy bangs on his forehead, looked at Zhou Jisheng and muttered to himself, "Jisheng, are you hiding something from me?"

On the fifth night, Xu Haoran felt a stomachache that he hadn't experienced for a long time reappeared. He tossed and turned on the bed, Zhou Jisheng dropped the half-empty water glass, and asked Xu Haoran nervously if he had a stomachache?

Xu Haoran held Zhou Jisheng's arm tightly. The pale man was enduring the pain, with cold sweat dripping on his forehead. He stared at Zhou Jisheng with burning eyes, and asked Zhou Jisheng with difficulty: "Jisheng, tell me the truth, I What is the disease?"

"Hao Ran, don't talk, Dean Chen will be here soon, he will tell you." Zhou Jisheng, who has always been calm, turned back to Xu Haoran in a panic. He had been with Xu Haoran for so many years, and Zhou Jisheng knew that he would never be able to hide it from Xu Haoran. But he didn't have the guts to tell Xu Haoran the result himself.

"Jisheng...Zhou Jisheng...I hope you told me..." Xu Haoran repeated these words to Zhou Jisheng before he fainted, and just when Zhou Jisheng was about to speak, Xu Haoran passed out again.

When the first light of morning appeared on the horizon, Xu Haoran woke up.

Seeing that Xu Haoran had woken up, the man with black eyes sitting beside Xu Haoran's bed immediately rushed to Xu Haoran's bedside, and stretched out his hand to test Xu Haoran's temperature. Zhou Jisheng was relieved until he was sure that Xu Haoran's temperature was normal: Thank God, Haoran came from the gate of hell. came back.

When Xu's mother saw her son wake up, she finally couldn't restrain herself and cried.The mother's crying came to Xu Haoran's ears one after another, and Xu Haoran said weakly to his mother: "Mom, I have something to say to Jisheng."

Mother Xu stretched out her hand and gently stroked her son's bloodless cheek, nodded, explained to Zhou Jisheng and left the ward.She knew what her son was going to say to Zhou Jisheng. Zhou Jisheng was the hardest person these days. He had been enduring grief to take care of Xu Haoran, but Xu Haoran should have noticed that Zhou Jisheng was unusual.

"Jisheng, you've been depressed these days. It's not like you at all." Xu Haoran wanted to smile at Zhou Jisheng, but he didn't have much strength.

Zhou Jisheng knew what Xu Haoran was going to say, but he was not ready to face Xu Haoran's question, but he still had to tell Xu Haoran after all.

Seeing that Zhou Jisheng didn't speak, Xu Haoran fixed his eyes on Zhou Jisheng's face: "Why don't you ask me about my thesis?"

"Because I believe in you." Zhou Jisheng blurted out. He believed in Xu Haoran from the beginning to the end, so he didn't ask.But in fact, it doesn't matter whether you ask or not. If Xu Haoran can't even save his life, what's the use of these false names?

Xu Haoran nodded thoughtfully. I don't know how long it took. Perhaps Xu Haoran was gathering strength. Xu Haoran said again: "I am already the teacher's abandoned son. My fiancée went to study in England. The marriage is a failure; I discredited the teacher because of that incident; the teacher who became the dean of literature wished to erase my black history from his eyes. What can be done?"

"I believe in you, Haoran, I believe in you." Zhou Jisheng held Xu Haoran's hand tightly. A few months ago, he actually wanted to let go of Xu Haoran's hand like this, but if he did, he would lose Xu Haoran completely. Zhou Jisheng regretted it to the extreme.He is also a coward, he didn't dare to take Xu Haoran away at that engagement ceremony, if he took Xu Haoran away, maybe he could save Xu Haoran.But he didn't have the courage to take Xu Haoran away after all.

"A student sues the teacher for plagiarism. If he loses, his future in this life will be ruined. As for me, my future has already been ruined by myself, so I don't care about anything." Xu Haoran desperately raised the corners of his lips, It was a move he had exhausted all his strength to make.

Xu Haoran used to be so conceited and proud, but now Xu Haoran lying on the hospital bed is so weak and vulnerable.

Zhou Jisheng shook his head desperately, tears burst into tears, and the ward was silent.

"I... am hopeless." Xu Haoran asked Zhou Jisheng with a smile.

Zhou Jisheng nodded silently. He hoped that he could use any price to turn back the clock of Xu Haoran's life. He still had a lot of things to do with Xu Haoran, and he still owed Xu Haoran a wedding.

"Hao Ran, please hold my hand tightly, I can't let you leave me."

"I'm holding it." Xu Haoran stretched out his other hand and covered Zhou Jisheng's.