door of eternal life

[The text of this chapter: one birthday, three relationships, the romance of starry nights, the caring of daily necessities, and the cold and cruel accusations.He wanted to use all his strength to break free from the shackles. 】

Kuo stood in front of the opened door, holding a box of cakes in his hand, and looked at Qing with a smile.Qing just twitched the corners of his mouth and let Kuo into the room.

"You won't be angry because I came here uninvited, young master?" Kuo noticed something wrong with Qing's expression.

"No." Qing realized her gaffe, and immediately adjusted her mood.

"That's good, I want to give you a surprise." Kuo breathed a sigh of relief.

"Hey, shouldn't you be in Shanghai? When did you come back?" Qing suddenly remembered that Kuo told him two days ago that he went to Shanghai to deal with an urgent business.

"I just rushed back." Kuo laughed.

"Then your business is over?"

"No, there is someone from the company staying there. If the situation changes, he will call me at any time." Kuo said nonchalantly.

Qing was touched in his heart, he knew that Kuo came back specially for his birthday, and he should happily accept Kuo's kindness.

When Kuo lifted the cake box up slowly, Qing felt nervous for a moment. He thought about what he would do if Kuo wrote something special on the birthday cake.When he saw the red cursive words on the cake, he secretly heaved a sigh of relief. Fortunately, it was just four simple words: happy birthday.He was very grateful to Kuo for his tolerance, and Kuo treated his feelings calmly, like a pool of clear water, slowly enveloping him, warm and natural, without making him feel any discomfort or embarrassment.

Qing didn't want to eat anything, and he couldn't eat anything, but he still pretended to like it. After eating a piece of cake, he praised the cake as delicious, the cheese was mellow, and the taste was delicate. I like it very much, thinking that I will go to that store to buy cakes for Qing next time.

After eating the cake, Kuo said: "Master, eating cakes is not considered a meal. Let's go to the restaurant. I have reserved a seat before I came here."

Qing shook her head and said, "I'm already full after eating cake, I can't eat anything, I'm a little tired, I want to rest."

Kuo acted disappointed and didn't force him, just said: "Okay, young master."

Qing smiled, and he also knew that Kuo would not really care about this.

Kuo looked at Qing's face carefully, and asked, "Your complexion looks bad? Did you have a stomach problem again?"

"No, it's just that I couldn't sleep all night last night, so I'm very tired today." Qing felt pity in his heart, he really wanted to stay quietly in Kuo's arms, just like before.

"Then go to bed earlier, don't always stay up late, huh? I'm leaving, you go to bed earlier." Looking at the exhausted Qing, Kuo really wanted to hug Qing.

Qing agreed and followed Kuo to the door.

Kuo stretched out his hand to grab the doorknob, was about to press it but stopped, turned around, stretched out his arm suddenly, hugged Qing tightly, and after a while, whispered something in Qing's ear: "Happy birthday .” And then let go of Qing.

Qing smiled, nodded, and waved goodbye to Kuo Bai.The moment the door closed, the corners of Qing's eyes became moist. Instead of making him feel uncomfortable, the wide hug seemed to put on a warm padded coat for him who was standing and shivering in the bleak autumn wind. Longer in broad arms.

Qing wiped the slightly wet corners of her eyes and put the remaining cake in the refrigerator.This will be the meal for the next two days, he thought.

The phone beeped again.Qing picked up the phone, he thought it was from Kuofa, but when he opened it, it was from Bin.

"What are you up to? Have you eaten yet?" Bin asked.

"I just ate." Qing looked at the time, he felt that it had been a long time since he came back from the restaurant, but it was just 07:30.

"Are you home? What are you eating?" When it comes to Qing's meals, Bin always asks the bottom line.

"Yes, I had some snacks." Qing didn't want to mention her birthday.

"I'll be there in 10 minutes, and I'll bring you something." Bin quickly sent a message.

Qing sighed.He thought that after Bin got married, his feelings for him would gradually fade away, like... Yu.But Bin didn't seem to be, on the contrary, he became more enthusiastic and intense, but he never heard Bin mention his family. I really hope that my existence didn't cause any harm to Bin's family. Bin should be able to handle it well.

Bin was carrying a large bag of things in his hand, and said "Happy Birthday" as soon as he entered the door, he went to the kitchen familiarly, and Qing followed behind him, wondering what he brought, maybe he wanted to cook for him meal?Sure enough, Bin neatly served him a bowl of noodles, which contained sea prawns, poached eggs, baby vegetables, etc., and one or two side dishes that Qing couldn't name correctly, all of which were brought by Bin. Ingredients.

Bin put the noodles into a bowl, brought them to the dining table, put a pair of chopsticks neatly on the bowl, and said to Qing: "Shou Xing, dim sum can only be used as a snack, and you should eat longevity noodles today."

Qing knew that he couldn't refuse, and he didn't want to refuse. Tonight, he wanted to completely let himself take off his strong armor, let himself be taken care of and cared for, he was too tired.Fortunately, Bin knew that Qing didn't eat much, and he had eaten dim sum before, so although the supplementary food was rich, he had very little noodles. Qing insisted on finishing a bowl of noodles.Bin washed the bowls and chopsticks and put them back in their place, and brought some washed and cut fruits to Qing. Qing couldn't eat anymore, and protested with a wry smile.

"I know you can't eat anymore, so you must stay up late at night and eat it as a supper at night." After speaking, Wang Qing was not in a good mood, so he told him, "Go to bed early and eat well. I'm leaving, and I will send you photos to see some other day." ’” and said goodbye.

Qing also knew that she would definitely stay up late, but not because of writing, but because she was restless, unable to write or fall asleep.Tonight, what's going on? The thoughtfulness and concern of Kuo and Bin are in stark contrast to Yu's behavior.It wasn't that he wanted to make a forced comparison, but that the fact itself was too ironic and too strong for him to ignore.

The mobile phone on the tea machine suddenly rang, it was already eleven o'clock in the night, Qing stared at the mobile phone for a long time before reaching for it.

"Shan Min has always wanted to meet you, and has been asking you to have dinner with me for the past few days. I talked about it for a long time yesterday, saying that it would be a celebration to meet you on your birthday. She is also kind, and I am really not good. Dodge again. But I didn't expect that you would do this. You make me so sad and let me down too much." Yu's message.

A bloody smell rose from Qing's mouth, his whole body was instantly cold, his fingers trembled so much that he could hardly hold the phone, he always mistyped letters and entered wrong words, finally he managed to piece together the information, and asked coldly: "Am I always the last one you need to think about?"

Yu's message quickly replied: "The reality is like this. I have to take into account all aspects. It is impossible to only consider you. Can't you understand me?"

"Heh, so, if we still want to stay together, I have to do what you want?" Qing Leng was so cold that her teeth were chattering, her breathing was rapid, the words on the screen were blurred, and there were double images.

"I don't mean that. It's just that the days to come are still long, and you will meet sooner or later. Whether you want to stay with me or not, the initiative is in your hands."

Qing did not reply.Now that things have happened, he can finally have the initiative to choose whether to be with Yu or not.The dream in the past, the dream in which he and Yu Xiang separated in the mist, the moment the hands were separated, the feeling of fear and anxiety never faded with time, but became heavier and heavier deeper...

He didn't need to think about anything in vain, he knew he couldn't let go of Yu, if he could let go, why wait until today.Yu was also sure of his point.The difference is that Yu didn't consider and accept his choice back then, but now Yu will be very willing to accept it, of course the premise is that they must cover up well and perfectly in front of everyone, and no one can see the clues.But he couldn't, and he never could.

"So, Yu, when I die, will you dare to cry for me unabashedly in front of all your close relatives and friends?" His eyes gradually blurred and lost focus.

Sitting in the dark for a long time, he gradually calmed down, but he didn't want to move, so he just sat there until he was tired. He drank a full glass of red wine again, and fell asleep faintly. Yu's back and forth messages had actually exhausted him, physically and mentally, but he didn't realize it.

Since that day, Qing has been haunted by nightmares again.Every night, every night, every night he wakes up from his dream, the dream is not the same, the ending is always the same, can't get there, can't find it.

I dreamed that I wanted to go to school, the road was tortuous, tortuous, difficult, the plot was ups and downs, I was anxious and depressed, I stumbled in my dream, I trekked all night, but I still couldn't find the school.

I dreamed that I wanted to go to the editorial department. The road was tortuous, tortuous and difficult.

I dreamed that I wanted to go to the supermarket. The road was tortuous, tortuous and difficult.

I dreamed that I wanted to go to the bookstore. The road was tortuous, tortuous and difficult.

Dreaming of wanting to go home, the road is tortuous, tortuous and difficult, the plot is ups and downs, the mood is anxious and depressed, stumbling in the dream, trekking all night, still can't find home.

Dreaming about wanting to find wealth, the road is tortuous, tortuous and difficult, the plot is ups and downs, the mood is anxious and depressed, stumbled in the dream, trekking all night, still can't find wealth...

I dreamed that I wanted to find Yu, the road was tortuous, twists and turns, the plot was ups and downs, I was anxious and depressed, I stumbled in my dream, I trekked all night, I searched all night, I only saw myself standing on the top of a high tower, but In the streets and alleys of the distant past, I saw Yu walking side by side with another person.

……

When he woke up, his heart was blocked tightly, and his limbs were cramping like a heavy boulder. He was suffering from angina and stomach cramps. He curled up and watched the morning light gradually shine through the curtains.

I really don't want to taste this taste anymore, I'm really afraid.

But that person, that feeling, whether absurd or ridiculous, he couldn't give up no matter what.It is said that after a hundred years of cultivation, they can cross the same boat, and after a thousand years of cultivation, they can sleep together. Sometimes he is very confused about what kind of fate he and Yu have.He didn't know how he was like this, how he was so far from what he imagined, and where did that self-respecting and noble self go.

He is full of fear and despair for the days to come, wants to break free, hates his greed, hates his role, hates this kind of self, despises himself from the bottom of his heart, that humble and greedy self, but still... No matter what They couldn't break free.

He can overcome all external interference and obstacles, ignore all gossip, and challenge all secular stereotypes, but he cannot overcome his own heart.Because love is too deep.

I have also thought many times, if time can be restarted, whether, at the beginning, I would break away when Yu hugged me, push him away when Yu kissed me, would refuse Yu's skin-to-skin date, and would trust Yu's sentence "In the future , we will always be together"... So far there is still no answer, because happiness and pain are extreme.

"Some people only kiss the shadow, so they only have the phantom of happiness." What he kisses is Yu's shadow, and all he has is the phantom of happiness.

Love, too desperate.

On a sunny morning, Qing came to the central square, sat alone on a bench, watching people in various colors come and go, red, white, blue, gray, black, gray Yes, green... like brushes, brushing out one after another of colors in front of his eyes, but the sound was far away from him, as if he was diving under the water and looking up at the world on the shore.

He wanted to refuse to associate with Yu, he tried once, but failed, the firmness of his refusal, the strength of his expectation, would torture him tenfold; he wanted to stay away from this city, Moved to live in another strange city, but he couldn't take a step, he couldn't bear to stay away from Yu; so he wanted to find a reason for him to leave, something he couldn't resist no matter what, a reason he couldn't turn back, but He couldn't find it; looking at the crowd in front of him, he hoped that there would be someone who, without knowing his past, could take him out of this city, or even out of this country, someone who he could follow resolutely; he even hoped that he was For the victims of a certain natural and man-made disaster, he is willing to replace any one of them with himself, such as an air crash, such as a car accident, such as a ground crack, such as a landslide, such as a tsunami, such as a tornado... because he no matter what , He couldn't escape with his own strength, he was firmly locked by an invisible and strong chain, and he didn't have the slightest strength to resist.

Feeling unacceptable, going deeper.

There is no way to eliminate this situation.

Those four words were like a spell, appearing in his mind from time to time, circling upside down.

Whether he has to lose his life can he have enough strength to break free from the shackles that have bound him for more than ten years.This is also a permanent possession, before it is completely lost.

Do you want the loneliness of one person, the doom of two people, the pain of three people, or the tranquility of four people.

"Then, let's start a journey." Qing thought.He stood up, turned around and walked away. The dazzling sun shone on him through the thin clouds, but he felt as if he was in the severe cold in March and September. The scorching sun at the end of summer didn't make him feel any warmth. His bloodless face was reflected more coldly and transparently.

He would immediately begin preparations for the journey.After making this decision, he felt as if he had just performed a chest operation on himself. The heart was removed, and the entire chest cavity became relaxed and smooth.He was no longer so resistant to the hospital, and took the initiative to go to the hospital before embarking on the journey.

The days suddenly became lighter.

It turns out that life can be so easy.