door of eternal life

[The text of this chapter: A small key carried too many emotions, but it was never given away.A birthday full of joy, but consumed by anger.Where will those four words push him. 】

When Qing grabbed the phone from the floor and straightened up, she found that she was hopelessly looking forward to Yu's "another day".He didn't regret rejecting Yu today, but the expectation that surged up immediately made him want to hit the wall fiercely, wanting to tear himself to pieces.

Two selves suddenly appeared in his body, they were vague before, so blurry that he didn't notice or care about them at all, but now, these two selves are so clear, one is self-respecting and noble, the other is humble and greedy, and the other is noble and thinking. To completely cut off the connection with Yu, a greedy want to hug Yu tightly, even if there is only a trace of love, so he despises and hates his humble and greedy self with high self-esteem.He is torn apart by these two selves every day, bleeding profusely, his body is bruised, painful and contradictory, and in the end, the humble and greedy self always wins the upper hand, looking forward to Yu's arrival every day, Every day he made preparations for Yu's coming, and he stayed at home every day, because he was afraid that he would not be at home when Yu came.

Day after day passed, and he waited anxiously and restlessly, but there was no news from Yu.He also felt that he could no longer stay at home like this every day, his life could not always be centered on Yu and adjusted for Yu all the time.He decided to go to the bookstore and buy some books, so that he could calm down and escape for a while.

He was very slow in choosing books. When he was young, he used to go to the bookstore with Yu and Kuo, and Kuo said to him at that time: "Qing, why do you choose books like picking a wife? , but also love at first sight, wishful thinking, three lives and three lives, never breaking the contract!" Every time he thought of Kuo, he felt an apology in his heart after all, but he had no choice but to control his own heart, but every time he thought of Kuo, his There will also be a sense of comfort in my heart, no matter what, Kuo will never abandon him, and will stick to his feelings for him. Although he can't respond, there is still this kind of feeling in his life that is only for one person and loves him for a lifetime. The real existence of this kind of emotion also gave him strength, as if it provided a proof for his belief, allowing him to persevere, but it also made him uncontrollably sad, and the corners of his eyes would always get wet.

Yu's message sounded suddenly: "I'll be there in a while?"

"Okay. I'm at the bookstore. I'm going back now." Without even thinking about it, Qing quickly typed and sent it with her fingers, and then became flustered, her heart was trembling, her fingers were trembling, her legs were trembling, and her whole body was cold. Before coming to the bookstore The little bit of determination had long since disappeared, Qing slapped his forehead fiercely, and closed his eyes helplessly, feeling incomparably desperate for his own state.That humble and greedy self won again.

too painful.

I have no choice but to choose a book.He immediately put down the book in his hand and drove back. When he encountered a red light, he kept tapping his fingers on the steering wheel while waiting anxiously, watching the red number drop from two digits to the One digit, then dropped to zero, and then flashed again before turning into a green light. When encountering a yellow light, he would rush to pass in those three seconds. He was afraid that Yu would arrive first and would not be able to enter the door.After returning to the apartment, he was relieved. Before Yu arrived, he entered the house, but he began to restless again, unable to do anything. He paced back and forth in the room, walked to the window and looked downstairs over and over again, I was in a trance for a while before I thought of taking a bath. A hot bath can make people relax.

When Yu arrived, Qing was still taking a shower.

After Yu knocked on the door, he stood leaning against the door relaxedly, lit a cigarette, and looked at the door in front of him. He remembered that when he accompanied Qing to choose a house, they deliberately chose an apartment on the top floor, one apartment per floor, for the sake of Quiet, but also to avoid people's eyes and ears.Thinking back at that time, they were as young as they were happy, and they were in a pair, as if they didn't care about the eyes and criticisms of the whole world. As long as they were happy together, everything else was secondary. Drink enough water", the real young and frivolous, now, after all, they live in this society, there are too many things to worry about.Qing is not married so far, and I don't know how long he will persist.

Seeing that Qing hadn't come to open the door, thinking that Qing hadn't come back from the bookstore, he took out his mobile phone and browsed the webpage, planning to find some jokes, and tell Qing to listen later. Qing is easily substituted into these language environments, and is also easily Funny, I really hope to see Qing’s smile more, not faint, not slightly, not thoughtful, but irrepressible, happy, like the day when I saw him and Kuo together .Kuo, he could tell that Kuo liked Qing very much when he was young, but what about now?I don't know whether Qing knows that Kuo once liked him.But looking at the current situation, after so many years, Qing still lives alone, and when he first came to see Qing, that night, Qing's behavior showed that Qing hadn't done anything with others for a long time, maybe Kuo had already given up on Qing and looked for another person. lover.I don't know whether Kuo is looking for a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Could the other man I saw that day be Kuo's lover?If so, then this Kuo is really a different kind, but the social pressure is too great, he will still find a woman to marry after all, after all, there are not many people with a stubborn personality like Qing.Isn't it good to be like yourself now?

After a while, Qing opened the door, her head was wet, her cheeks were a little flushed, she looked at Yu and smiled apologetically, "I just took a shower."

Yu said: "It's okay." He approached Qing, tapped his lips, and entered the door.

Qing has never given the key to Yudo Gate.Yu once asked Qing, did he keep a spare key at his aunt's house, what if he locked himself out, what if he got sick and couldn't get out of bed, and no one took care of him?Qing listened to him, her heart sank, but she just said lightly on her face: "It's okay, I'm very careful." Yu didn't say anything more.

Qing actually hopes that Yu will take the initiative to ask him for the key, which means that if one day he locks himself out of the door, if one day he is too sick to get up, Yu will try his best to open the door for him. Take care of him.But he knew that Yu would not want the key, so he didn't take the initiative to mention it, for fear of hearing Yu say: "Forget it, I don't want it, anyway, you are here every time I come." That little hope will be shattered into dust, and even the shadow will not be seen.Even so, as long as Yu doesn't say it himself, he can still give himself room for hope, imagined romance, imagined happiness——Yu will come for him no matter what.

He could feel that Kazuha had been very careful.Yu is very cautious every time he comes here, he never drives by himself, he always takes a taxi, and most of the time he has to wait until after dark, afraid of being seen and others knowing their relationship, he has His career and social status, he has his happy family, what most men want to have, Yu is no exception, even wants to get it more than most men, now that he has it, how can he be willing to lose it, even if it is Because of him, Yu would not be willing either.

He's just one of the... ones Yu wanted in his relationship, and he was shady.

Although the key is only a small key, it is also a hidden danger to Yu. It may bring trouble to Yu, cause him to lose something, or the consequences may be more serious... For example, family breakdown, reputation ruined defeat.Yu will never allow this to happen.

Thinking of this, for a moment he wished Yu would leave now, he wanted to be alone.But he couldn't say it, the humble him had always been in the upper hand, trampling the noble him under his feet.

Yu said, I went to take a shower and walked into the bathroom.

Qing had no choice but to take Yu's change of clothes as usual, knock on the door, push the door in, lowered her head, just put the clothes on the clothes table, before she could turn around, Yu pulled her into her arms .

Yu hugged him, found his lips and kissed him, but Qing was depressed and depressed, and sadness hit her heart heavily.Every movement of Yu and Yu in front of him made him feel more and more sad, the tears were unstoppable, mixed with the water that covered his head and covered his face, and flowed continuously.

Is it just for playing with him?Snacks after tea and dinner, gags when the scene changes, if you don't need it, you can throw it away immediately.

His clothes were soaked through.Yu noticed that Qing seemed to be in a low mood, looked at Qing with doubts and concerns in his eyes, and gently stroked his face with his hand.

Yes, yes, Yu loves him, but this love has been divided, like one tenth of a cake.Qing sighed in her heart, since this is already the case, what else can be done, so be it.Who made him reluctant to part with this pitiful love.

In the wet space, under the shroud of light and water vapor, everything seemed hot and blurry.At that time, there was only one sentence, four words floating in Qing's mind over and over again, which could not be uttered, nor could anyone hear it.

Pain, hesitation, struggle, and contradictions, they endured like torment until September, the month of Qing's birthday.He used to not care about his birthday, but now when his birthday is approaching, he becomes more concerned. He knows that what he really cares about is whether Yu can deliberately spare time to have a meal with him on this day. It will also make him happy, but if others can't remember, he won't feel any discomfort, and if Yu can't remember, or can't accompany him, he doesn't know how he will feel, he doesn't want to taste that A taste, a little fear.

In the middle of the night, Qing did not turn off her mobile phone as usual.At midnight, a text message came in, and when he heard the sound of the message, he knew it wasn't Yu's. He specially set the sound of Yu's text message as a gentle knock on the door, just like Yu knocked on the door every time he came.This message was sent by Bin: "Qing, happy birthday!" Then one after another, messages rang out, one from sister, one from brother, one from rich, but only one from Yu.Qing thought, maybe after a while, Yu's message would arrive, but after an hour, the phone was still silent.Qing thought again, Yu was not romantic in his bones, so he might not have sent him a message at zero o'clock, maybe he would send a blessing message tomorrow morning.Even though he thought so, he was still faintly disappointed.

"Boom, boom, boom." Half dreaming and half awake, Qing seemed to hear the knock on the door. He opened his eyes and listened carefully, but the sound did not ring again. He hurriedly touched the phone next to his pillow, and there was an He clicked on the message, and it was from Yu: "Happy birthday!"

Qing's mood improved in an instant. Looking at the time, it was already past two o'clock in the morning.He thought, maybe Yu was keeping time and wanted to send a birthday greeting early, but he accidentally fell asleep before and just woke up midway.He smiled and replied with a smiley face.

Yu immediately sent another message saying: "Let's have dinner together tonight, eat outside, and celebrate your birthday."

Qing was naturally willing, but Yu offered to eat with him in public, which surprised and pleased him, as if he could stand side by side with Yu in the sun.After agreeing on the time and place, he gradually fell asleep, and he was so peaceful that he had no dreams all night.

At five o'clock in the afternoon, Qing arrived at the agreed hotel ahead of schedule.Yu chose a restaurant that was very lively all year round. The smell of alcohol, vegetables and smoke in the restaurant was already very strong and pungent. Some headaches, but he doesn't mind, because this place is selected by Yu.He sat at the table, ordered a glass of lemonade, took a magazine provided by the hotel, and slowly flipped through it.When he finished reading halfway, he looked at his watch. It was already the appointed time of 05:30. He looked up at the entrance of the hotel, but he didn't see Yu, so he lowered his head and continued to read the magazine.When he inadvertently glanced at the door again, he froze. He saw Yu and a woman walking in side by side. The woman was holding a child in her arms, and Yu was holding a little girl by the hand.

That's it!

Qing stood up abruptly, looking at Yu without any expression.

Yu's family had already walked over, Yu smiled and introduced to the woman, "This is Yun Ziqing." Then he smiled politely and politely and said to Qing, "Ziqing, this is Shan Min."

The woman greeted Qing with a smile on her face. Qing twitched the corners of her mouth and didn't look at her. She responded vaguely, "I'm sorry, I have something urgent to do. I'm leaving first." Walk out of the hotel quickly.

When Qing got into the car, her whole body was shaking uncontrollably.Anger is anything but anger.He was a little out of breath, dizzy, and his eyes were dark.After a while, he started the car tremblingly, returned to the apartment, got out of the car, walked back to the residence with trembling legs, and sat tremblingly on the sofa, but his whole body was cold in the dog days after autumn.

Yu, it's really well concealed.Ziqing?When did you call him Ziqing again?As if they were just cousins ​​who didn't see each other often, just one of his ordinary friends!Why did Yu think that he would like to see his wife and children? !Why do you think there is no need to discuss with him in advance? !Want to force him to submit in that public place? !

Qing couldn't help sneering, her teeth chattering in the cold.

"Boom, boom, boom" knocked on the door clearly, not from the phone.Qing's thought in an instant was: Yu is here, and Yu is here to spend another birthday with him.