my heart is safe

Cheng Qianyang's words seemed to have the ability to hypnotize, and Lu Ancheng fell into a soft dream after he turned off the lights and went downstairs.

Probably because his heart became clearer, Cheng Qianyang actually appeared in his dream.

Fragments of memories flashed by him in the dream one by one, and he watched Cheng Qianyang in all stages from childhood to adulthood in a flash.Those who love to cry, those who love to laugh, those who are gentle on weekdays, those who are indifferent during quarrels, those who follow behind, and those who hold their hands and walk forward.

But the hand slipped suddenly, and he almost couldn't hold it.He chased after him, and the surrounding scene was instantly fragmented and collapsed in an instant.

Cheng Qianyang was gone.

He searched in the dark restlessly, but he couldn't find it anyway. Just when he was on the verge of collapse, the scene suddenly changed, and he fell into the painful joy of being 17 years old.

A boat with a black awning passed by outside the house, and the sound of gurgling water mixed with the roar of the external unit of the air conditioner in midsummer came into the house, and the ambiguous and warm warm yellow light shone on him.Everything is so similar to that night, a perfect reenactment of yesterday.

But there are also differences.At that time, he was kneeling under Cheng Qianyang, painfully enduring the impact called "Youth" behind him, but now he was lying on the bed, hugging Cheng Qianyang face to face.

It is 17-year-old Cheng Qianyang.

In the dream, he said to Cheng Qianyang: "Cheng Qianyang, look up and let me see your face."

Then he saw himself in Cheng Qianyang's eyes full of pain, forbearance, remorse, recklessness, but also love.

"I decided to forgive you."

He rubbed the 17-year-old Cheng Qianyang's head, the smoothness felt like real.

"Let's not stop here."

"Only you stop here."

"Oh, you're right."

Then he left the dream.

Lu Ancheng didn't sleep anymore, he opened his eyes, his heart was pounding.

He squeezed the corner of his back hard, got up and went down to the ground, barefoot, ran to the railing, and shouted downstairs: "Cheng Qianyang!"

He heard his voice trembling slightly.

Cheng Qianyang came out of the small kitchen with a pan in his hand, looked up and asked him what was wrong.

Lu Ancheng met his eyes and took a breath: "I apologized to you, and you quickly apologize to me too."

"What apology?" Cheng Qianyang was at a loss, "The egg is going to be mushy, I go in first?"

"No!" Lu Ancheng stood on the railing and called to him, with a serious face, "Just say it, just say 'I'm sorry, I was wrong, I won't be like this from now on', that's enough, hurry up!"

Cheng Qianyang was puzzled, he really couldn't think of what he had done to offend Lu Ancheng, but he could only obediently respond: "Oh, An An, I'm sorry, I was wrong, and I won't be like this in the future."

Lu Ancheng looked down at Cheng Qianyang from a high position.

He immediately felt refreshed.

It turned out that it was just this hurdle, why would he not be able to get through it?Why has he been having trouble with himself?

He felt like he had made a pretty important decision.

This decision pushed him, who was stagnant, to move forward, to an unknown direction.

He used to be very afraid of such a change, but now his intuition told him that time and change would not necessarily lead him to a bad place.

Especially during the time when he was worrying about Cheng Qianyang and thinking wildly, he suddenly became sober. Sometimes such a self-righteous rigidity would only push the development into a more confused and empty world.

Lu Ancheng was silent for a while, closed his eyes and took a breath, then straightened his back:

"Okay, then I forgive you too."

Acceptance turned out to be such a simple thing.

"Really? Thank you." Cheng Qianyang didn't understand what was causing Lu Ancheng's sudden disturbance, he turned around with the pot in his hand and wanted to leave, but Lu Ancheng hurriedly called him to stop.

"Hello, Cheng Qianyang—"

He had to look up again.

At this look, Lu Ancheng's face was flushed into his eyes, it was a shy look that he rarely saw.

"Just... I figured it out..." Lu Ancheng whispered with stars in his eyes, "...how about we try it."

This is the answer Cheng Qianyang has been waiting for for 11 years.

The fireworks exploded in Cheng Qianyang's mind, and the pot in his hand was almost unsteady. He asked in a trembling voice:

"An'an, what did you say?"

It would be better to kill Lu Ancheng to repeat such words a second time, he blushed, avoided Cheng Qianyang's eyes, and swished back to the bed again.

"It's fine if you don't hear it!"

Then suddenly covered the quilt.

Sure enough, Lu Ancheng heard the sound of pots and pans in the small kitchen downstairs, followed by Cheng Qianyang's hurried footsteps, he almost walked up the stairs in two steps at a time.

Da da da--

dong dong dong-

Synchronized with the sound of footsteps is Lu Ancheng's heartbeat.

The closer Cheng Qianyang got, the harder his heart beat.

Why have I never felt this way before?

Cheng Qianyang's footsteps were a little unsteady, and he staggered a bit when he was on the last level, but fortunately, he quickly grabbed the handrail.His footsteps paused, and the moment he calmed down, he realized that his heart was about to jump out of his throat.

He breathed a sigh of relief, and walked towards Lu Ancheng step by step.

Lu Ancheng wrapped himself up like a silkworm chrysalis, but this did not prevent Cheng Qianyang from pulling him out of the shell and hugging him into his arms.

Look, after so many years, didn't he finally break through the defense line in Lu Ancheng's heart, did he hear what he wanted to hear the most?

"An'an." Cheng Qianyang half-kneeled on the bed, picked up Lu Ancheng, and wrapped it in his arms, "Did you confess to me just now?"

"Get lost, who will confess to you." Lu Ancheng was buried in his clothes, which still smelled of fried eggs, he sniffed, "I...I'm reluctant to answer you."

Cheng Qianyang reached out to lift Lu Ancheng's head, Lu Ancheng's face was still burning, and he turned his head, not wanting to look at him.

"Then thank you." Cheng Qianyang smiled and straightened his face, forced him to look at himself, and said softly, "Thank you, really. I don't know why you are willing suddenly, but I am so happy. "Lu Ancheng could even feel his frenzied heartbeat through his clothes.

"Even if you want me to die suddenly now, I'm willing."

His voice trembled a little.

It was death again.

Lu Ancheng's heart twitched suddenly, and he stretched out his hand to press Cheng Qianyang's lips.

This is the second time Cheng Qianyang has said this to him recently. Last time in Cinque Terre, he also said this kind of death.He vaguely felt that Cheng Qianyang was disregarding life and death more and more, no, rather than saying that he didn't care about life and death, it would be better to say that he was always ready to face death.

"Shut up! It's unlucky to be alive all day long!" Lu Ancheng cursed in a low voice.

While gagging Cheng Qianyang's mouth, he summoned up the courage to stare him in the eyes: "What I said in the past... to let you go and let you die are all nonsense words in a flash of the brain, and I won't say them in the future."

"I know."

The moist and hot lips pressed against Lu Ancheng's cheek, and the slight tremor made Lu Ancheng feel more clearly that Cheng Qianyang was trembling slightly at this moment.

"I know, you hate me."

Cheng Qianyang kissed carefully, as if no kiss in the past touched him more deeply than this time, and he was completely satisfied.

Lu Ancheng finally left the position he never wanted to leave, jumped into his arms, and truly became his person.

"I also know why you suddenly said that you would forgive me just now." Cheng Qianyang let go of his hand, "Although I said that I don't regret it, I still want to apologize to you for my first recklessness."

"Yeah." Lu Ancheng stroked his face, "But I suddenly figured it out, it's not that you don't regret it, you can't regret it. I know what kind of temper I have."

Cheng Qianyang lowered his eyes: "I also thought about step by step at the beginning, and slowly let you understand my heart, but I couldn't wait any longer. When I pushed you to the bed, a voice filled my head, telling me, are you right?" Will promise me, only this time, after passing this village, there will be no such shop."

Lu Ancheng recalled his 17-year-old self. If Cheng Qianyang really followed his original plan and made him realize little by little that Cheng Qianyang not only regarded himself as a brother, what would he do?

He will definitely pretend to be stupid until death, pretending not to know about this all his life, and always maintain a relationship with Cheng Qianyang as friends, but slowly alienate him, keeping each other at a distance that he feels safe.

He would breathe a sigh of relief as if he had never discovered this secret.

And Cheng Qianyang will suffer all his life in such an embarrassing distance.

"I figured it out later, playing with you step by step, I guess I won't be able to get into your bed by now." Cheng Qianyang smiled relieved, "I'm afraid I'll be a place for the rest of my life, you, you won't be able to experience being exploited later in your life It's cool."

"Fart—" Lu Ancheng cursed in a low voice, "Without me, you really wouldn't find someone else?"

"No. I knew that I liked you before I was sexually enlightened. After the enlightenment, the object of my sexual dreams is you. If you don't let me touch you and let me find someone else, it's too cruel." Cheng Qianyang squeezed his hand seriously, Put it on the chest, "I can't be considered a complete homosexual, because I only like you, Ann."

Lu Ancheng paused in his heart.

One of the reasons why he can't accept Cheng Qianyang is that he thinks he is a straight man who only likes women.

He had been teased before, and he thought about it, if Cheng Qianyang was a woman, maybe he would have fallen in love with him long ago, why are there so many twists and turns?

But now Cheng Qianyang said that he doesn't care about gender, he only cares about whether that person is Lu Ancheng.

Why can't he?

Doesn't he also only care about whether Cheng Qianyang is by his side?

Lu Ancheng looked at Cheng Qianyang with full eyes, and suddenly hooked his neck, and pressed a kiss on his lips.This is the first time he has actively kissed Cheng Qianyang while awake.Cheng Qianyang was taken aback for a moment, then reached out to put his hand on the back of Lu Ancheng's head, and pushed him slightly harder, deepening the hard-won kiss.

They exchanged each other's breath between their lips and tongues, and they didn't end the kiss tacitly until Lu Ancheng was almost out of breath.

"Does it feel different when you kiss me than when I kiss you?"

"...No." Lu Ancheng pursed his lips with a blushing face, "It feels about the same."

"You will feel the difference if you kiss a lot, An An, I hope you will often kiss me like this in the future." Cheng Qianyang smiled.

Lu Ancheng's face turned even redder: "Then we two are... are we dating now?"

The author says:

They were so busy that they were together, and she shed the tears of the old mother.