Poems of Sea and Land

Li Wei has seen salted fish, but he has never seen two salty fish like Qi Lu and Hai Lan, so what are you two doing in this variety show?Are you traveling?Miss Qi Lu, can I learn from your other assistant? !

"Come on, little assistant! "On the first day of the official recording, Qi Lu's small team began to have various problems, and their attitude was very problematic!

Li Wei: Can I change my personal record now?

Substitution is impossible, not possible in this lifetime.Although Qi Lu's small team is quite half-hearted and not active in doing things, it is funny and funny.This is enough, as long as there is a sense of variety.This is how Li Wei deceived himself.

Live with a smile.jpg

On the first day of the official recording, after all the people involved in the recording introduced themselves, the director Li Wei announced that the artists and assistants should cooperate with each other to fight for a place to live, and allocate pocket money according to the final score...

Artists and assistants can live in a total of six houses, the largest of which is a country house, which has all the appliances and kitchen utensils that should be there, and the ps4 that shouldn't exist is inexplicable.The smallest is a brick and tile house, with only one large and one small two bedrooms, which can only guarantee the minimum standard of living.

As for the allocated pocket money, that's more interesting. No. 1 is 1000 yuan in January, No. 2 is 3 yuan, No. 4 is 5 yuan, No. [-] and No. [-] are all [-] yuan, and the last one is only [-] yuan for bitter haha.

The artists and assistants who participated in the recording of the program, although there are first-tier and second-tier artists, are all raised in greenhouses. Such a small amount of living expenses is actually a bit, no, definitely not enough.Especially if two or three people are needed, if the last person happens to be an artist + two assistants, it will be a blood loss!

If I had known this, I should have brought an assistant.Wang Ruijun and Tang Ji thought so, but Qi Lu, who also brought two assistants, was much more easy-going.

Hailan, it's her girlfriend, brought here to show off her affection!Of course, Hailan, like Qi Lu, is a five, and can't lift his hands or shoulders, but there is the omnipotent assistant Cheng San!

That's right, Qi Lu brought Cheng San here just to be on the safe side, there is nothing San'er can't do in this world!Who made her an omnipotent tool person? !

Cheng San: Did you say so?Just now you said about the tool man, right?

[Voiceover: Cheng San went berserk, turned on berserk mode, the world perished, the full text is over. 】

The program team did not confiscate their mobile phones, but the use of WeChat wallet and Alipay is strictly prohibited.In order to achieve this, all men, women and children in the village know that someone has come to record the program, and if they want to buy anything, they can only use cash, not to mention that not many people in this village have Alipay and WeChat.After all, the village is full of old people...

How can there be any young people in the countryside now, aren't they all old men and women and little kids?Everyone needs to have a good meal. It is impossible to raise your head and open your mouth, and there will be pies falling from the sky, right?

As for what problems will happen to the left-behind elderly and left-behind children, it is out of our control.

In order to divide pocket money and housing, director Li Wei decided to use games to evaluate. There are three games in total, and the total score system is adopted.

"Now we're going to play three games, and the team with the highest total score can get the most pocket money and the best house," said Li Wei, prolonging his tone on purpose, "Ladies and gentlemen, are you ready?!"

"Ready!" X9

"Come on, little assistant!"

The first game is very simple, just play the game.In order to choose a suitable game, the people present also had a quarrel.

"When it comes to playing games, is it really Wang X Pesticide?" A guest suggested, "And it has a game itself, which is very convenient."

Da Ga, Kuo Duo digs the road!

"How about eating chicken?" Su Jinmo proposed, but most of the people present knew that she wanted to play.Don't ask them why they know, if someone posted their scores on the Internet every day and often took their sisters to eat chicken, you would understand too.

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Wang X Pesticide has been around for several years, during which it was named and scolded countless times by parents, but it is still the only one popular among all mobile games in recent years.In other words, "As a result, we are still accompanied by the stupid Wang X pesticide".

As for eating chicken, the neon next door has been popular for a while, and there are still many people playing it.Since these two games are very popular, those present who don't play games very much know it.

Speaking of this, the will of the universe is thinking of BB. Now, when some people recommend games, there is nothing else except these few mobile games.Where do some people put idle mobile games? !Isn't the paper man's wife delicious?

When it comes to games, they are pesticides and chickens. Are host games eaten by dogs?The black-blooded wolf is a little more difficult, no matter the style of painting or modeling, it is awesome, okay? !So don’t take it for granted to recommend Baga!And... [The will of the universe is still in the high-speed divine words, and then it is stunned and taken away by the narration and the system]

"Would you like to try the Nth personality?" Hailan recently picked up this game again. Although the game is no longer cool, but the feelings are still there, so when will you marry me, gardener? !

[The will of the universe: Goose girl, Ma Ma loves you!

Voice-over: Maternal love goes bad...]

All the gentlemen here were obviously a little dazed when they heard Hai Lan's words. Several of them had never heard of this game, but they were shocked by Ms. Hai's "vicious intentions" if they knew about it.

This game is scary, isn't it? !Hailan, what is your intention? !

[Voiceover: The truth is that if you catch your breath, this variety show may be taken off the shelves, or directly blocked by orz]

The director of life whispered a few words in Li Wei's ear, and Li Wei then began to smooth things over.

[Voiceover: In fact, there is no such thing as asking guests to choose games. This variety show has a script. Li Wei just followed the script before, and he has the final say on the final game. 】

"Hailan's proposal is very good," Li Wei smiled kindly, "but then we won't be able to broadcast it."

"Momo's suggestion is also very good, but if you want to play, you can find someone to accompany you when you are free."

"So in the end, after the discussion of the program group," Li Wei smiled at the camera, "we—we still play King X Pesticide."

So, how can it be repaired by the stupid Wang X pesticide who has been with us until now!

[Voice-over: Boss, in fact, I have always wanted to complain.

The Will of the Great Universe: Say.

Voice-over: Actually, the asterisks and Xs you marked are not shielding words. Why do you want to do this?It also affects reading.

Will of the Great Universe: Silly boy, copyright avoidance, understand?And sometimes Ms. Hai does have a lotus tongue and a lotus mouth, and I do it all to maintain her image? ! 】

The program team definitely had intentions, and the script had already been decided. The proof is that they gave all the guests present a game account, and they had all the inscriptions and heroes that should be there.

So you did it on purpose, right?Is it bad to tell people from the beginning?

Levi announced the rules of the game.

Because the guests present are either an artist + an assistant, or an artist + two assistants, two paired pairs just make up three groups of five-member teams.So it started with a lottery to select the pairings.Divided into red team, yellow team and blue team.

The final draw results are as follows -

Red Team: Gu Chen + Xiao He, Qi Lu + Hai Lan + Cheng San

Team Yellow: Su Jinmo + Tutu, Wang Ruijun + Pan Wen + Pan Wu

Blue team: Wen Junshu + Xiao Zhang, Tang Ji + Liu Xi + Xiaoya

After the grouping was over, Qi Lu said to the camera very embarrassingly: "Anyway, no matter what, we are sure to win!"

"Humph!"

[Voice-over: So where did you get your confidence?What kind of courage did Ms. Liang give you? ! 】

Gu Chen stood beside her, smiling dotingly.

[Voice-over: Visually, xj Xipi is ready to drink again. 】

Didn't see, really didn't see.Wang Ruijun is really powerless to complain about his boss, but he still has to complain about what should be complained.

"Boss, why are you so confident? I'm a game master!"

"..."

exist?What does it matter to me that you are a game master?Can't I still ask you to release the water?And my Lanlan is the real Lulu? !

It was obvious that Ms. Qi was always overconfident in Ms. Hai's abilities.

"Little brother No. [-], shut up!" Qi Lu pretended to be vicious and said, then dawdled to Wang Ruijun's side, leaning on his lips with his palm facing outward, and said very artificially, "Put some water in later."

At this time, the camera happened to be facing her...

"..."

"What are you doing over there?"

Nothing! It's nothing!

Qi Lu made a comparison, "We're chatting about family matters."

So do you talk about how to drain the water when you talk about housework?

5mins later.

At first it was red team VS yellow team, then red team VS blue team, because the red team won both games, so they were directly promoted.Then there is the yellow team VS blue team, the yellow team wins, stays, and the blue team is eliminated.

Although the red team won in the end.

After the game, Qi Lu's nostrils were all directed towards the sky, in a word, he was embarrassed.

"Look." Qi Lu smiled so badly that others wanted to go up and beat her up a few times.

Well, but anyway, I know each other, and I'm not a bad person, so why bother with a child?The world is so beautiful and I'm so cranky, it's not good, it's not good...

I'm not cranky am I still human? !

Qi Lu noticed the camera, poked Hai Lan beside him, and said, "Come on, Lanlan, let's compete together."

Under the camera, Qi Lu and Hailan smiled brightly.Qi Lu's other assistant, Cheng San, is far away from them, obviously he doesn't want to know them.

[Voiceover: But maybe, I don’t want to spoil this beautiful picture. 】

There were two other games played that day, and Qi Lu and the three of them were very paddling in these two games.Although because of his calm and easy-going performance, he still achieved very good results.

Here, we must sincerely thank Ms. Cheng Chenchen, an enthusiastic citizen!

ha?You ask who is Ms. Cheng Chenchen?

How do I know this?

Cheng Chenchen [Cheng San]: Smile.jpg

In the end, the teams with the highest total points were Team Gu Chen, Team Su Jinmo, Team Wang Ruijun, Team Qi Lu, Team Wen Junshu, and Team Tang Ji ranked last...

Thinking that Tang Ji's team has three people, tsk!

Cough cough, don't you need to explain the other two games?

Okay, then let's turn on the lights~

It was night, Qi Lu and Hai Lan slept on the same bed.

The author has something to say: Don’t ask why the title says salted fish but the whole article doesn’t mention a certain two scumbags, just ask Alipay to get RMB250. brain pain】

You should have noticed that the cover has changed, right?

That's right, I changed it!You all can't imagine the hours it took me to make the cover!At first, I was unhappy to change the cover and directly checked the fonts, but after searching for a long time, I couldn’t find [one hour+].Then I used WPS as the cover, and after an hour, I made four covers [one is scrapped, and one is ready for the next one]

Don't ask me why I didn't find an artist, our poor authors all make their own covers orz

Not much to say, I love Siyuan HeiTi [smile]

Thank you to everyone who is here, stayski! ! !