then spring comes

After Huang Linhui went to study in Beijing, Jinjin was taken to her grandmother's side, so I completely returned to the single state!I feel very aggrieved that the marriage did not come to fruition. The war between me and Huang Linhui, which bruises me on the surface and is riddled with holes in my heart, seems to have never happened in the eyes of others. I dare not talk to my colleagues. , Friends, and family members talked about it, afraid that others would see it as a joke.I want to divorce quietly and then tell others that I am divorced and continue my life with Jinjin.But now I am not divorced, just like I watched myself eat a fly, but I could only swallow it softly, and then acted calmly, happily and sweetly in front of everyone, just like before.But I am not a good actor, I am too tired to act, in the sleepless night I often curl up alone in the corner and lick my wound with difficulty, I can’t move on because I am carrying too heavy a burden, I want to unload myself burden, but I can't find the exit and the way.At that time, I didn't think of turning to the Internet for help in the past, but I was in the Internet age after all. Due to work, I stayed in front of the computer all day, so my sister came into my life!

I was very depressed after experiencing the pain of losing my mother and the breakdown of my marriage. In addition, my son and husband are not at home and I have a lot of free time. Sometimes I wander on the Internet to kill my worries, read news, and read novels , browsing forums, playing games, one day when I was bored, a pop-up window popped up: Hi, hello.I don't really like chatting with others on the Internet. I find it troublesome to type, and it's boring to chat with strangers who don't know their identities. I don't want to talk to her, but I saw that the other party was very polite, so I glanced at her It was a 9-year-old girl. Such a young child can chat online. It’s amazing, so I replied: Girl, don’t you need to do your homework?Watch out for mom spanking you!

Who knows that the other party replied: Sorry, this is my daughter's ☞□ number, she used another number, this was given to me, I just used it, and did not change the information.

It turned out that the mother used her daughter's number to access the Internet. At that time, I thought that since the gender registered in the information on the first page was female, the other party should be a female, so it must be the child's mother, so I immediately went back to the past: My sister doesn't use the computer often, typing is very slow.I think her daughter is already nine years old, and it is not too much for me to call her sister.

After a while, the other party sent an embarrassing emoticon, and after a long time, he said: Today is the first time chatting online, and I met you!

Me: Oh, how come you noticed me?

She: I think your name is very interesting, it's so simple, can I ask why it's called Qiqi?Instead of six six eight eight?It seems more auspicious

I was a little surprised by her little recklessness: This, it couldn't be simpler, this is my baby name, my parents have called me Qiqi since I was born.

I don’t know the origin of my nickname. Is it because my parents passed away 7 years ago to commemorate their last daughter?Or is it because I was born seven pounds and seven taels?When I was young, I didn’t bother to ask this question. When I reached the age where I wanted to ask, my mother left again. Now, I have no interest in knowing the reason at all. All I know is that when I was born, my parents gave me the baby name Qiqi .I often hear my mother calling me by my baby name: "Qiqi, baby, wake up!" "Qiqi, my baby, it's time to eat." "Qiqi, it's time to go to bed." "Qiqi, Hurry up and do your homework" "Qiqi" "Qiqi"~~~ Now every morning when I wake up, I pat Jinjin's thick thighs and fat buttocks, calling softly: "Jinjin, wake up, the sun is shining on the buttocks! "Jinjin turned over and continued to sleep, and let me kiss his fat feet and small fat hands on his buttocks. At this time, the voice of my mother calling "Qiqi" and "Qiqi" sounded in my ears when I was a child. Such an intimate voice, and such a gentle pat: "Qi Qi, get up! "The gentle and friendly voice seemed to be in my ears, and the peaceful and happy thing happened just now, just now, my mother woke me up like that, and now I wake up my son like this, there is a difference of two or thirty years. , To me it was just like yesterday! It turns out that time can sometimes pass so fast!

She asked: Is that so, can I also call you Qiqi?

My eyes suddenly felt hot. After my father established a new family, I never stayed in my hometown. I often went back to see him for a while and then came back. How long has it been since no one called me Qiqi?I paused for a while and answered her: Well, you can call me Qiqi.Just because she called me by my baby name, this elderly, gentle and polite woman suddenly drew closer to me. I relaxed my guard and didn't dislike her slow typing. We chatted for a long time, It seems that we still have a lot of common temperament. When we parted, we still felt unfulfilled. We made friends with each other and made an appointment to chat when we have time.I found that even on the Internet, it is not just any two people who can chat together. They must have similar aura, close cultural background and upbringing, and mutual attraction in personality to become good friends, that is, these two Only people who meet in real life and become good friends can be good friends online.And I have never made good friends since I graduated from university and started working!

The time I spent online with my sister made me feel like I was in a spring breeze. She was very patient. At the beginning, she was never upset when I babbled about trivial old things as I wanted. She also told me about her work. Her daughter, her family, and her life all sound fresh and interesting to me.Slowly in front of her, I no longer have to pretend to be happy, I express my truest thoughts with my true face, and talk to her about my sad first love that is far away. Anxiety about passing away, loneliness in life, pressure at work, incapacity to deal with interpersonal relationships, and finally the permanent scars that I don’t want to reveal: my mother’s pain and family changes, I wantonly showed her For the cowardice and helplessness in life, the superficial and frivolous character, the crude and worldly views, I showed her my wounds one by one!At that time, I was so eager to listen patiently and warmly guide me to pour out my pain and troubles bit by bit. I felt that the pain and pressure filled me up and made me breathless. , There is no way to move forward with a heavy load!My sister just appeared in front of me at the right time. She listened quietly to my troubles, gave me comfort and encouragement in a timely manner, helped me analyze the failures in my life, and helped me to excuse my responsibility and guilt. , to help me unload the heavy burden of the past, through the cold computer screen, I can feel her warm hands gently touching my dry heart, making my heart peaceful and quiet little by little.Little by little, I regained my vitality and stayed away from those unbearable pains.Sometimes I think, is it because my mother saw my pain in heaven and arranged for such a sister to help me?I have a real brother, but my brothers are not the kind of people who can speak intimately.

My sister also helped me analyze my current situation and the difficulties I faced. With her persuasion, I set up a postgraduate school in Xi'an. My sister said that it is close to home and able to take care of my husband and children. Although I think it is a good thing to be motivated , but after all, it is a person with a family. At this age, the focus of life must be to ensure the balance between career and family, and as a woman, family should be more important.Although there are conflicts between my husband and I, as far as we are concerned, our relationship has not completely broken down. I am not completely irresponsible for the last serious marriage incident. If I had been more considerate and loving to my husband at that time, he would not have I went out to make friends, or if I love my husband enough, I can discover the change of my husband early, and I won't get to the point where I can't handle it.She told me: Marriage must be managed, silly girl, even a small potted plant will die if you don’t water and fertilize it, let alone it determines your happy marriage, you have to take care of it with your heart Yes!The most important thing is that there is still a child between your husband and wife. In order for the child to have a complete family, you have to swallow the bitter fruit you have planted. The suffering you are suffering now should be used to deal with your marriage problems I am not able to pay the tuition fees! After her explanation, I gradually realized that I am not a princess, and I should be punished by life for making mistakes! From that time on, from the bottom of my heart, I don’t No longer hating Huang Linhui so much, our relationship is slowly showing signs of repair.