then spring comes

I also gradually let go of my mother's death.My sister said that her parents are still alive, so she can’t feel my pain, but she is a medical professional, and esophageal cancer is usually only discovered in the late stage. So far, no one can save her when she has this disease in the late stage.The most important point is that my mother has passed away. This is a fact that no one can undo!My sister said that she also has a daughter, and if she dies one day, she will never want to see her daughter in heaven unable to continue to work and live normally because of her death.Whether she is alive or dead, she hopes that her daughter will be happy and live a happy life every day.So my mother is the same! To be honest, I understand all the truths she said, and it’s not that I haven’t thought of it, but after she said it, there is a feeling of enlightenment. Maybe some sufferings are like this. Maybe at a certain moment, after a certain When people say it out of their mouths, you will have an epiphany, and it will be over if you walk over it!

In the winter of 2005, I took another postgraduate exam. Being able to go to graduate school is a dream shared by my mother and I. I have worked hard for this, and no matter what happens, I can't easily stop chasing my dream.To be honest, the review of the postgraduate entrance examination is very boring and difficult. After all, I have been away from school for so many years, and the textbooks and previous knowledge are all unfamiliar. The first time I encountered a difficulty that I thought was insurmountable, I wanted to give up, but at this time I already had my own military advisor, so I went to the Internet to talk to my sister, venting my despair and dissatisfaction. My sister always comforted me carefully, Then rationally help me analyze the situation I am facing, and find the motivation and path to move on.Sometimes I overcame one difficulty after another, not only a little proud, but she gently and sternly reminded me not to get lost and the things that need to be paid attention to, so I walked forward step by step with her company .

When the results of the postgraduate entrance examination came out, I sat in front of the computer and stared at my report card for a long time, my palms were sweating, and my body was trembling slightly!The joy of success is not as sweet as imagined, even with a bit of bitterness and loss. I think of my hard work, and I have a feeling of being hollowed out.Looking up, the warm sunshine in the winter lazily shines on my desk, the office is quiet, and the colleagues in the cubicle are busy with their own things as usual, as if I have worked hard The success I got has nothing to do with them at all, and in fact it really has nothing to do, so I suppressed my joy and told my sister the news online, she said: "I am really happy for you, I really want to express it to you in person Congratulations! Everything you got today was earned through your own hard work, you are amazing! I am so proud of you!" I hope that if my mother is alive, she will definitely feel the same way as my sister.At this time, I need the affirmation and support of my relatives so much, I need their attention, their care and love, just like before!

During the Spring Festival, I did not go back to my hometown to spend with Jinjin. I have to do my best to review and prepare for the re-examination for the postgraduate entrance examination.

Although I spent this Spring Festival alone, I didn't feel very lonely. I occasionally went online to chat with my sister during the intense review. Huang Linhui and Jinjin often called me, which made me feel that my life was very fulfilling.On New Year’s Eve, my sister’s family went to the White Horse Temple to pray for blessings. When she came back, she sent me a live video of the temple’s bells ringing through the Internet, which made me feel the lively, festive and peaceful New Year.There is an old saying in China that "every festive season misses relatives", the reason why I don't feel lost and lonely may be related to the dedicated care and care of my relatives around me!

From the chat with my sister, I can feel that her family is happy and her life is very happy. When I am bored, I will think: My sister and I live in the same city. Why did she never want to meet me?If we become real friends in real life, we can get closer, go shopping together, travel together, and become best friends who can talk about everything, but she doesn't seem to want to meet me, every time I want to make a request for a meeting, but she always talks about him left and right, or changes the topic, maybe she is afraid that the intimacy and tacit understanding between us will change and disappear in the end?Maybe there will be a so-called death by sight?But we are the same sex, I am not glass, and I don't think she is either.What is she avoiding?In fact, it doesn't matter, sometimes knowing that there is a good friend who cares about you and helps you feels very happy, just as Qian Zhongshu said: "If you eat an egg and feel good, why do you need to know?" What about the hen that lays eggs?" That's true, and gradually I gave up the idea of ​​meeting each other.

One day in early March, I suddenly received a business trip from my unit, because I had to go to a relatively remote area for research, and I was worried that there was no internet and computers there, and I walked quietly for half a month. Would my sister worry about me? ?So after thinking about it, I still left her my mobile phone number on the website: "Sister, I need to go on a business trip to the mountains for half a month. If you have anything to do, you can use this number to contact me." On the way to the destination, I received a call A text message from an unfamiliar number: "Got it, the temperature in the mountains is low, wear more clothes. Pay attention to food hygiene and safety outside!" I don't know why, but there is a sweet warmth in my heart!Life seems to have opened her warm embrace to me again!

Research work is actually quite boring. Sometimes after the instrument is installed, it takes a long time to collect a large amount of data and take the average value, so when I am bored, I try to send a text message to my sister: "What are you doing? ?” She probably knew that I had nothing to do, so she texted and chatted with me one after another. Fortunately, she didn’t seem to be very busy, so she could accompany me every day when I had nothing to do, for half a month. It passed quickly like this! During this period, I gradually understood my sister’s troubles: she was doing management work in a medical institution, and she had been in this position for several years. She has already done her best in her work, and she has a good reputation among the leaders and colleagues, but several personnel transfers in the unit did not affect her. She seems to be forgotten by the leaders. If this continues, her promotion path will be ruined. She's stuck, she doesn't want to stay here for the rest of her life, she still wants to move up, but with her current contacts and relationships, she can't find a way to get promoted! At first she just vaguely mentioned some of her difficulties, and I also I could only be a quiet listener. Later, she stopped mentioning these things, but I could clearly feel that her mood became more anxious.Especially once she finally found out that one of her father's subordinates was in a key position before, she mustered up the courage to find that person's family, who knew that the loyal subordinate who used to be submissive and respectful in front of her father had completely changed his face , arrogantly speaking in an official tone, smiling in vain, she is not good at flattery, she can't see his face, so she had to go home dejectedly!On the night when she came back, she chatted with me for a long time, talking a lot like a drunk person, from her mischievous childhood to her current parents, I knew she didn't want me to give her any good ideas, For her, I can't come up with any brilliant and useful ideas, just be a quiet listener, all she needs is to talk!

Sometimes we human beings are really strange, like me, I am very harsh, indifferent, and intentionally hurt my relatives and neighbors, but I can show rare patience and consideration to an irrelevant stranger, insight and clarity, what does she need? I'll give her whatever!Another example is my sister, she will have many relatives and close relatives who really care about her, but she would rather stay with them in the study and play computer games, but she can open her heart and talk to a stranger I have never met. Talking about it, it turns out that it is so difficult for us to open our hearts to those around us!Each of us seems to have a door installed in our hearts, and only we can open it from the inside, but most of the time, we would rather it be closed!No matter how caring people who care about us are outside the door and try their best to spy on us, we just don’t open the door, causing pain to our loved ones and ourselves!

One Friday at the end of April, my sister said that her watch was broken and she was going to the department store to have it repaired at noon. I heard that the department store was only one stop away from our unit?So I mustered up the courage to say to her: "Sister, the department store is near our work place. I happen to be free at noon. How about treating you to dinner?" There was no response from the computer for a long time. Does she not want to meet me or go out temporarily? No way to reply to me?Or did she not see my message at all?I opened the chat history, and I really sent out the dinner invitation!Because it is working hours, usually I leave him a message at this time and he can reply in time, so I have to wait patiently.It took almost an hour to receive a reply, just two simple words: OK!Oh, that's great, the goddess in my heart is finally about to step down from the altar, and I was pleasantly surprised.What will our future be like?I have another girlfriend who can talk about everything and an older, wise and experienced friend?I was full of expectations, and I made an appointment with her at the western restaurant at 12:00 noon, and I asked her: Will we not recognize each other?Do you want to use a book or something in your hand as a sign?My sister sent a laughing emoji: Silly girl, no need, I can recognize you!I was still worried, afraid that she would recognize the wrong person, and told her that I had a copy of "Sanlian Life Weekly" in my hand.

The author has something to say:

When we are in adversity, we feel that the world has come to an end and we really can’t go on!In fact, maybe you just need to persevere a little bit more, and everything will suddenly become clear. The suffering that could have killed you is not worth mentioning at all, and there is no hurdle that you cannot overcome!