The days when I was forced to be a heartthrob in a bloody text

Xu Shixi stayed in the hospital for two and a half days, and gradually he was able to eat a little bit of liquid food without throwing up. He promised Pei Yan to go home the day after tomorrow, and wanted to leave the hospital early. Lin Juan persuaded him to stay for a few more days, but Xu Shixi couldn't. After going down, smelling the bitter smell of disinfectant around, I might as well go home.

It was raining in the evening, and when I came out of the airport, I saw that the sky outside the terminal building was gloomy, and the wind was blowing hard, Xu Shixi was holding an umbrella but half of his shoulders were still wet.

When dragging the suitcase and walking downstairs, Xu Shixi looked up and found that the light in his room was on, and in the dark and rainy, warm yellow light shone through the window.

Mr. Xu and Pei Nuonuo were looking at the flowers on the balcony. Through the transparent sliding door, they could hear laughter from time to time. Xu Shixi subconsciously wanted to go there, but in the end he hesitated and took back his steps, lightly carrying the The box goes back to the room.

Pei Yan waited for him all day, sitting in front of the desk and looking at the high school textbooks that Xu Shixi had piled on one side and hadn't bothered to put them away. Covering his eyes with his paws, he didn't know when it was caught on the draft paper on the last page of the physics book. His name was written on the back.

The doorknob of the room rang softly, Pei Yan stood up abruptly, and turned around to see Xu Shixi.

Xu Shixi guessed that Pei Yan would stay in his room, and he didn't know how to face him before entering the door, but when his eyes met, his heart calmed down.

He dragged the box in and put it against the corner, and closed the door, "... When did you come back?"

"A few days ago," Pei Yan looked at his pale and thin cheeks, his eyes were much darker than usual, and there was an infusion sticker on the back of his hand that he forgot to take off, and the exposed blood vessels were blue near the needle hole, "I'll come back to get Grandpa phone to call Lin Juan."

"Well," Xu Shixi lowered his eyes and leaned against the closet behind him, "Brother Lin told me, I'm sorry to make you anxious."

Pei Yan took a step forward, and Xu Shixi looked up at him. He hadn't adjusted to the light in the room by the door just now, so he couldn't see clearly. When he got closer, he found that Pei Yan's face was haggard. Working day and night did not let him live like this.

There was a moment of soreness in the eye sockets, Xu Shixi lowered his head and blinked, his eyelashes were soaked, tears fell on the back of his hands, and slid down his knuckles.

He raised his hand and wiped the corners of his eyes casually. His shoes and socks were soaked in the street just now, and he was a little cold, so he went to sit by the bed and change his socks.

Pei Yan silently went to the bathroom to get a dry towel, knelt down on one knee by the bed, ignored Xu Shixi's obstruction, held his slender ankle, and wiped his wet feet, the towel wrapped in the warmth of his palm, Soon warmed up, Xu Shixi curled up his toes uneasily.

After wiping, Pei Yan found a new pair of clean socks for him to put on. When the hem of the socks touched his heels, he asked him, "Why?"

Xu Shixi understood what he was asking and why he wanted to break up, but Xu Shixi didn't know what to say.

He really felt that it wasn't Pei Yan's fault. Pei Yan had treated him well enough. In this life, he would never meet someone who treated him better than Pei Yan, and he would never find someone who was so gentle and tacit. When he was young, there were several people who accompanied him through the four seasons. To a certain extent, they were the only ones who could not be replaced by each other, but he couldn't be with Pei Yan anymore.

He will become more and more greedy, and he can't tell himself that his feelings will always fade away. He even hopes that Pei Yan will always like him like that summer. Self-deception.

"I won't agree," Pei Yan took his hand on the edge of the bed and squeezed his wrist, "I can't break up with you. I did something wrong. I'll change everything you don't like. But you can't let me leave you."

"You're just not used to it," Xu Shixi tried to pull back his wrist, but he hadn't eaten anything in the past few days except for the glucose infused in the hospital and a little porridge that he barely drank, and he was weak and had little strength. "Be apart for a few days, You will find that you are the same without me, and you may be more free."

"I don't need such freedom," Pei Yan held his hand in his palm, "Is it because of that hot search? Everyone in the studio was there that night, so I walked with her on the way. The photo is borrowed Yes, I can't do anything to be sorry for you."

"I know you don't." What Xu Shixi didn't mind was that Pei Min was staying with someone, but he didn't understand why Pei Min lied to him. He put his feet on the edge of the bed, sat with his knees hugged, and buried half of his face in the In the arm, "you didn't, why did you lie to me?"

Pei Yan still didn't recover, Xu Shixi said: "I wanted to go downstairs to your dormitory to stay for a while that night, and I ran into you when I was driving by the library."

Only then did Pei Yan understand. He had no idea that Xu Shixi was nearby at the time, "I'm afraid you won't be happy when you hear it, and the project will be completed in one day. There is no need to go there, so I want to not tell you."

Xu Shixi lowered his head and said nothing, only the lamp on the desk was on in the room, the light was a little dim, he reached out and touched Pei Yan's cheek.

"For this matter?" Pei Yan moved closer, held his hand and pressed it against his cheek, feeling that the temperature of Xu Shixi's palm was very cold, "I won't lie to you again, this is the first and last time, Can you give me another chance?"

Xu Shixi didn't know what he cared about. No matter what it was, he didn't want to continue anymore. It was meaningless to continue like this. One day they would still be separated. He already knew that they were not suitable, so he shouldn't be tempted at the beginning.They may have many years like this in the future, and the time they spend together is only a few sporadic days throughout the year. He can't wait anxiously for someone's news, and he can't get a few responses.

"I feel tired," Xu Shixi told him, and then took out his phone and handed it to him, "I don't want to be a burden to anyone, you have no responsibility to me, you don't need to force yourself to contact me."

On the interface are the chat records of this month, which may not add up to twenty sentences, as well as the missed calls and videos he called Pei Yan.When they first met, Pei Yan was more reticent than he is now, even when he didn't have much affection for him. Being busy is more like an excuse. When you really miss someone, you always have time to look back of.

"I can't accept it, you don't like me as much as before," Xu Shixi turned off the phone, "It's actually quite normal, no one can always like someone as much as they did when they first fell in love, but I've lived my whole life, but I Pushing forward, I want you to like me a little more. If we don't separate now, maybe in the future, I still can't bear it."

"I do not have……"

Xu Shixi didn't hear him finish, and interrupted: "I told you during the summer vacation of the sophomore year that I was not as good as you thought, and you will meet many people in the future, and there will always be someone you like more, and then look back Maybe you don’t even remember who I am, so let’s call it a day.”

Every word he said fell heavily on his heart, Pei Yan looked up at him, and his voice tightened when he spoke again, "How did you make me forget you?"

Xu Shixi was almost forced to cry again by this sentence, and broke up with Pei Yan. He probably won't like others anymore, and no one can make him brave the overwhelming snowstorm in the deep winter just to see him in the past .

The balcony door rang outside, and then the TV in the living room was turned on, Xu Shixi breathed a sigh of relief, and got up to pack his things.

What he brought back was an empty box, and he planned to take some clothes that he often wears and other things he needs to take away. The clothes in autumn and winter are relatively thick, and the box was already half full with a few random items. There were also books on the table, Xu Shixi Looking back, I don't plan to take it again.

"Where are you going?" Pei Yan pressed his hand that was about to buckle the suitcase.

"I'll go out to live. I left too early in the morning and disturbed you to rest." Xu Shixi said.

"Isn't this your home?" Pei Yan didn't want him to be unable to return home in order to hide himself.

He is just a person who shouldn't stay here. If possible, he also wants to return Mr. Xu's relatives to him, but he doesn't even know how he got here, and no matter how hard he tries, it won't help. Nuonuo, at least it can make the old man happy.

"I was wrong," Xu Shixi pushed his hand away, "Not everything can be replaced." He regarded that small courtyard as his own home, and almost forgot that he was just an imposter, how could he stay here with peace of mind? go down.

Pei Yan couldn't understand what he meant, and it was still raining heavily outside, so he blocked the door to prevent Xu Shixi from leaving.

"Can't we just try to separate for a few days?" Xu Shixi wanted to push him away a little, but he couldn't. As soon as his hand touched Pei Yan's arm, he was pulled over and hugged him.

The familiar temperature and breath enveloped him, and tears flowed down uncontrollably for a moment. Xu Shixi pressed his forehead against his shoulder, and his fingers clenched the fabric of his back tightly, almost wrinkled because of too much force. The sound of rain outside the window was sudden , In the dimly lit room, only the person in front of you is warm.

After struggling briefly for a few seconds, Xu Shixi suddenly let go of his hand, walked around him and walked outside, and was hugged again just as he pressed the doorknob.

When I got off the plane in the evening, my stomach was not feeling well, with some distending pain, coupled with the mood swings when I came back, my stomach was churning non-stop. Xu Shixi put down the suitcase, walked back to the bathroom, opened the door and leaned against the toilet, and retched After a while, he spit out a puddle of clear water. His throat was already dry, but now it was more like shards of glass had been scratched. The pain was so painful that he could hardly swallow.

Pei Yan hurriedly followed him in, prevented him from locking the door, and didn't dare to touch it. He looked down at him trembling slightly, and his already pale face became transparent like thin paper in an instant.

"Why do you keep throwing up? What did the doctor say during the hospital examination?" Pei Yan held him in his arms, and felt his arms were cool from sweating.

Xu Shixi looked up at him, with complicated emotions in his eyes, he realized that someone had been baked into every inch of his soul and bones, and wanted to strip him away, as if he had taken half his life away And the whole meaning of being alive in this strange world.

He didn't understand why, he touched the small key that was still hanging around his neck, and it turned out that as long as he was a person, he would change, even in the fictional reality.

In this state, he might not even be able to go downstairs, so Xu Shixi didn't force it anymore, and lay down on the bed after washing his face.

Pei Yan wanted to stay here with him, but Xu Shixi didn't agree, so Pei Yan had to close the door and go out. It was past eleven o'clock in the evening, and the rest of the family were sleeping in the room, so Pei Yan sat down on the carpet by his door, He leaned against the door and listened to the movement inside.

Xu Shixi was very quiet after falling asleep, and Pei Yan didn't leave all night, and he didn't hear the sound of him getting up or going to the bathroom again.

In the morning, Mr. Xu sent Pei Nuonuo to the cram school, and stopped by the small park for a walk. Pei Yan avoided them and got up to pour a glass of warm water. He knocked lightly outside Xu Shixi's door, and there was a rustling sound from inside. .In fact, Xu Shixi didn't fall asleep much, and only fell asleep for a while when it was almost dawn. When he went to open the door, he just heard the sound of Mr. Xu and the others going out to close the door.

"Drink some water." Pei Yan handed him the cup.

Xu Shixi took it and took a sip.

"I'll go downstairs to buy some breakfast, and I'll eat something later," Pei Yan told him, "See if I can eat it, and then go to the hospital in the morning."

"Yeah." Xu Shixi nodded absently, he wanted to leave while Pei Yan was out.

"I'll be back in 10 minutes, can you wait for me?" Pei Yan sensed his intention and blocked the door frame.

Xu Shixi didn't speak again this time, he raised his hand and closed the door, took a water glass and sat down beside the desk.

Pei Yan stood facing the closed door, he knew that if Xu Shixi was allowed to leave this time, there would probably be no way to find him again.

Xu Shixi was lying on the desk, the curtains had not been opened, and the light in the room was not very bright. He turned on the night light, countless broken stars were projected on the snow-white wall in front of him, and when he was about to close it, he heard a soft sound outside , like the sound of locking the door, but too close, not the security door at home.

The blood all over his body seemed to turn cold in an instant. He stood up and walked to the door, and pressed the handle tentatively, but he couldn't open it at all.

"Pei Yan?" Xu Shixi slammed on the door twice.

The key to the door was still in his hand, and his fingertips were trembling the moment he locked the door. Pei Yan heard Xu Shixi's voice through the door, as if separated by layers of water, it was very blurry and suffocating, there was no need to wait for Xu Shixi Feeling depressed, he couldn't stand this feeling anymore, so he inserted the key into the lock hole again, and looked at Xu Shixi silently when he opened the door.

Xu Shixi was almost completely disappointed, didn't close the door again, and sat back by the bed.

"I love you." Pei Yan stayed up all night, his voice was a little hoarse, "I thought I could be with you every day for the rest of my life, and I never thought about how I would live after you left. "

The author has something to say: [The back hurts during menstruation. Today, it will be a little less, and then six or seven thousand, and then three or four thousand. I have the illusion that I am very short... I hope I can remove the brackets tomorrow and speak (no]

感谢在2020-06-0717:21:07~2020-06-0921:39:08期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angel who threw the mine: Nana Qiuqiu hahaha 1;

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!