The days when I was forced to be a heartthrob in a bloody text

There was a silent silence in the corridor, and through a heavy wooden door, one could hear the regular and monotonous noise of the mechanical operation inside. It took a long time for Pei Yan to find his own voice and asked him, "Where are you? Go find you now."

"It's okay," Xu Shixi realized at this time that these words were not as difficult to say as he imagined. The red sunset covered the sky, and he looked down at his pale fingertips, "It's not your fault, it's my own problem." Let's talk about it when I go back to the winter vacation, I still have something to do, so I'll hang up first."

After finishing speaking, Xu Shixi hung up the phone without waiting for him to speak again.

From the rearview mirror, Lin Juan saw him staring out the car window in a daze. Tears rolled down his cheeks uncontrollably, dripping water on his hands. He didn't know what to say for a while, so he turned around and handed him a bag of water. tissue.

"Why don't we turn down the interview tonight?" Lin Juan was afraid that he wouldn't be able to hold on to the show in this state.

"No need." Xu Shixi shook his head, pushing back the promised job would waste other people's time and lose credibility.

After hearing what he said, Lin Juan stopped talking and drove to the interview site.

Pei Yan was still standing in the cold corridor, the setting sun outside was gradually dimming, and the light coming in through the narrow window became weaker and weaker, until finally shrouded in darkness.

Someone accidentally knocked on the door inside, and the voice-activated light in the corridor turned on. Pei Yan's cell phone was still stuck on the hung-up call interface. He picked it up and called Xu Shixi, but no one answered it. A message, like throwing a stone into the bottom of the water, there is no response.

Halfway through the car, Lin Juan heard the phone ringing in his pocket while waiting in front of the traffic light. He took it out and saw that it was Pei Yan calling, feeling a little annoyed.

Xu Shixi still doesn't believe that the hot search is true, but Lin Juan doesn't have any trust in Pei Yan like him. Even if he endured hardships together, so what? He hasn't been unknown since his debut Just stay with that person, willingly give up all my resources to him, what will happen in the end.

"A call from Pei Yan." Lin Juan held out the phone and showed it to him.

Xu Shixi applied the ice pack on the car to his eyes, took a look but didn't speak.

"Then I won't answer it." Lin Juan took it back and said.

Pei Yan waited for a long time, but Lin Juan didn't answer the phone, and finally hung up directly.Xu Shixi didn't want to see him, Pei Yan only realized now, but it was impossible for him to just break up with Xu Shixi, he didn't even know why.

In the past, Xu Shixi would always send a copy of his daily itinerary to Pei Yan, but later he felt that it was meaningless, so he didn't send it again during this period. Pei Yan didn't know where he was going today, so he had to ask Li Wen, but Li Wen It is not very clear that Wen has been on vacation for a few days with a cold.

Pei Yan suddenly found that if Xu Shixi unilaterally cut off contact with him, he would have no way to find him.

When I sent a message to Xu Shixi, I saw the dozen or so messages that Gu Cong sent him. Pei Yan clicked in and took a look. Gu Cong showed him last night's trending search and asked him what was going on. Only then did Pei Yan know that he At night, Guan Meng and Guan Meng were secretly photographed. The kissing photo was taken from behind him. Guan Meng was blocked and only half of his shoulders were exposed. In fact, he just lowered his head slightly.

A new round of testing was about to start, and the people in the group waited for Pei Yan for a long time without seeing him go back, so Guan Meng came out to call him.

She knew about that hot search in the morning, so she was very embarrassed to Pei Yan all day long.

When she was in high school, she was very curious about who the teachers often told her about the first grader in the third middle school next door. She was always compared with him, which also made her not have a good impression of Pei Yan. A nerd who knows how to study, he is extremely dull, and only after meeting him did he realize that he is completely different from what he imagined.

The original mentality of secretly competing with each other gradually changed, and on the contrary, she became more fond of her. It's just that Pei Yan never paid much attention to her, so she didn't bother herself.

It was only when Guan Meng went to Pei Yan's house that he discovered that many of his things were in pairs, and there were some small ornaments in the room that were obviously not his style, like the little ceramic orange cat on the shelf of the glass bookcase, and the desk lamp. There was a sticky note to remind him when it was time to go to bed and not to stay up late. The handwriting was neat and beautiful, but it was different from Pei Yan's.

"...are you okay?" Guan Meng asked him.

Pei Yan shook his head and said, "I'm sorry, I just saw what happened yesterday, so I caused you trouble."

"I don't blame you, who knows that someone will take random pictures," Guan Meng hesitated, and said, "Do you need me to explain it for you? With your girlfriend..."

Pei Yan was stunned for a moment, he didn't know how Guan Meng found out, but he had a hunch that Xu Shixi was not because of this incident, not to mention that after they got together, they had known each other for so long, Xu Shixi would believe him, he must have done something wrong something else.

"No, thank you." Pei Yan said.

The evening interview was for a magazine, and the text version would be sorted out, and a video would be added. Xu Shixi went to change clothes, and then went to the dressing room.

His eyes were still swollen, and the fundus of his eyes was red. The makeup artist tried his best to cover him up, but it still looked like he had cried, and it might be difficult to get rid of it in a short time.

"Let's assume that the crouching silkworm is painted darker today." Xu Shixi looked in the mirror and smiled at the makeup artist sister beside him.

"How could this be the same? The corners of his eyes are all red." The makeup artist held his cheeks to keep him still, and added a little concealer to the most reddened area.

The interview went smoothly. Lin Juan looked out of the camera, and Xu Shixi smiled naturally. He couldn't see what he looked like in the car just now.

It was an interview about the daily life of an actor. He talked about his hobbies and childhood anecdotes. The host asked again, "Xiaoxi is already a sophomore this year, right? It's also the age where you can fall in love. I don't know what type you like ?”

After finishing speaking, he jokingly added, "Have you already left the order?"

Xu Shixi has answered this kind of question many times before, and every time he skipped it vaguely, but today he paused, looked at the countless dark camera lenses around him, showed a faint smile, and said, "No, I still Single, what kind of person I like, I haven't thought about it yet."

The host didn't keep asking about such a sensitive issue, and then talked about other things.

After leaving the interview venue, the smile on Xu Shixi's face that had lasted for nearly an hour gradually faded away. He just felt very tired and wanted to find a place to rest for a while. The hand that was holding on to the railing in the corridor was so pale that it was almost transparent.

"I'll take you back to the hotel." Lin Juan was worried about the tone of those temporary assistants, so he went to help Xu Shixi pack his things, and then rushed over to support him.

The hotel is not far away, and you can go back in about 10 minutes by car.

He barely had lunch at noon, and the interview delayed his meal in the evening. Lin Juan didn't eat much, and now he was a little hungry, so he asked the hotel to deliver two set meals.

Xu Shixi still had no appetite, so he reluctantly ate half a bowl of rice with the vegetables, when he heard the phone ring next to him, and the caller ID was Pei Yan's name, his eyes were dry and itchy, but there were tears welling up in his eyes.

Lin Juan hung up the phone with his hand and turned the screen upside down.

The meal was eaten very quickly, and Xu Shixi didn't remember what he had eaten after the meal, but the phone call to Pei Yan in the evening, and the words he said during the interview at night echoed in his mind over and over again, and he lay down on the bed Suddenly overwhelming fatigue swept up, and my stomach ached.

Seeing that he was still suffering, Lin Juan didn't leave, and sat on the sofa next to him for a while, thinking whether to postpone the work for the next few days, and then saw Xu Shixi get up and go to the bathroom.

The door lock fell with a click, Xu Shixi propped himself against the wall, vomited out all the food he ate just now, acid water gushed out of his stomach, uncontrollable physiological tears mixed with cold sweat dripped down his neck, and the thin shirt collar didn't last long. It is wet and transparent.

In fact, he didn't eat much, and he could only retch at the end. Lin Juan heard a knock on the door outside. Xu Shixi was so exhausted that he could hardly stand still. With trembling hands, he twisted the door lock several times before he opened it.

As soon as Lin Juan opened the door, he saw that his collar was disheveled, his face was sickly pale, only a little blood was on his lips, which was moistened when he washed his face after vomiting.

"...to the hospital?" Lin Juan took his temperature with the back of his hand, his forehead was cold, but he didn't have a fever.

"It'll be fine in a while." Xu Shixi didn't have the strength to speak, his voice was soft and weak, he tried to hold on to the door and walked a few steps, but in the end he couldn't help it, and sat on the ground leaning against the door, feeling a burning pain in his stomach , The heartbeat is also very violent, almost bursting from the chest, and only the sound of the organs in the body can be heard in the ear, and the vision is blocked by the tears that have not dried up, and it is blurred.

Lin Juan wanted to help him up, but felt that he might need to rest like this for a while, and the blanket on the floor wasn't very cold.

There was a time difference abroad. Fang Xiaochun only saw the news now. He felt that he was not Pei Yan's kind of person, but he was not in the country and didn't know the situation. He wanted to ask Xu Shixi, but no one answered the phone after two calls.

Lin Juan didn't hear it until he called the third one, and walked to the sofa to pick up Xu Shixi's cell phone.

Fang Xiaochun's family holds a lot of shares in Qingdu Media, so they can be regarded as Lin Juan's boss. Lin Juan met him a few times, and seeing that Xu Shixi might not be able to answer the phone now, he answered it for him.

"Why is it you?" Fang Xiaochun sensed something was wrong, "Brother Lin, you asked Xu Shixi to answer my call."

Lin Juan felt that he couldn't afford to be his big brother, so he knelt down and asked Xu Shixi, "The boss called, it was your friend."

Xu Shixi's throat was a little sore, he recovered a little bit, took over the phone, but still couldn't hold it firmly.

"Are you okay?" Fang Xiaochun asked him.

"No," Xu Shixi felt that his voice was not normal as soon as he opened his mouth. He sat up a little with his elbows propped on the door behind him, and his tone was as light as possible, "Why are you calling me at night?"

"I saw that trending post, so I wanted to ask you." Fang Xiaochun said.

"It's okay, it's fake." Xu Shixi suffered from severe stomach pain, curled up his legs, and pressed his forehead on his knees.

"I said it probably wouldn't be possible," Fang Xiaochun was a little relieved, but Xu Shixi's voice always felt weak, "Are you feeling unwell, your voice is so hoarse?"

Xu Shixi didn't want to tell him, and made him worry, so he just said it was fine, and even joked with him.

Fang Xiaochun wasn't too skeptical, and hung up the phone after chatting for a few words. Just as he put down the phone, he saw that Pei Yan actually called him, and then realized that his intuition might be right.

Pei Yan wanted him to ask where Xu Shixi was, but Fang Xiaochun agreed and called Xu Shixi again.

After Lin Juan tried to persuade him for a long time, Xu Shixi didn't want to go to the hospital, and he had nothing to do with him. He thought about taking him there, but Fang Xiaochun called again. After answering, Fang Xiaochun asked him what was going on, so Lin Juan had to tell him.

"Then go to the hospital. What's the point of him saying he doesn't want to go?" Fang Xiaochun was a little anxious. He really didn't think that Xu Shixi would break up with Pei Yan, why would it be like this.

Lin Juan went to pour a glass of water for Xu Shixi, but he still couldn't swallow it after two sips, so he vomited it all up, making him even more depressed.

Lin Juan called the driver and asked him to drive the car to the entrance of the hotel, but the driver said that there were many people blocking the road outside. It should be that the itinerary was exposed and an illegitimate student chased him to the hotel.

"Tell people to clear it now, stop them and don't let them come up." Lin Juan was furious, but in the current situation, even if they were kept away, there was a high probability that Xu Shixi would be photographed when he went out, and maybe what would be written about it, he looked at So haggard.

"Let's talk about it tomorrow," Xu Shixi really didn't want to move at all. He looked at the white walls of the hotel in front of him, feeling very bewildered. He didn't even know where he was for a moment. But the thin blade cut through the palm, and the little blood and numb pain in the hollow made him a little clear, "I'm much better now."

"I'll help you lie down for a while, if you still vomit later, go to the hospital." Lin Juan said.

Xu Shixi didn't respond either, so Lin Juan helped him to lie down beside the bed.

Fang Xiaochun wanted Pei Yan to go to Xu Shixi just now, but now he dared not. He was afraid that he would irritate Xu Shixi instead. Xu Shixi didn't want to tell him the address of the hospital, Fang Xiaochun couldn't ask him, and he couldn't tell Pei Yan.

One night Xu Shixi lay on the bed wrapped in a quilt, not even changing his sleeping position. Lin Juan wondered for a few times whether he was asleep or slightly unconscious, but his breathing was very even.

It wasn't until dawn that Lin Juan didn't know when he fell asleep on the sofa. When he woke up, he saw that Xu Shixi was also awake, so he ordered a bowl of porridge to see if he could have something to eat.

Xu Shixi took it and ate half a bowl, and then drank another glass of water. There was no sign of vomiting again, but when he lifted the quilt and stood up, he couldn't help but go to the bathroom to vomit cleanly. There was not much left in his stomach. At the end of the spit, only some clear water came out. Lin Juan hurriedly followed and saw a few strands of blood in the water.

Now that they were really going to the hospital, the group of lunatics were still downstairs, so Lin Juan sent someone to evacuate, and then drove the car to a place where there were fewer people in the back door of the hotel staff passage.

Fang Xiaochun called and was at a loss after hearing Lin Juan's words, so he asked him to take a photo and send it to himself.

I don't know if it's a broken throat or a slight stomach bleeding. Xu Shixi actually saw it himself, and he didn't feel too uncomfortable. He didn't know why he couldn't even drink a sip of water. He just saw that Lin Juan and the others were anxious, and didn't want them to worry. , In fact, his life has already been picked up, even if he dies, it's nothing.

After quickly clearing the people downstairs, Lin Juan took him down the elevator, bypassed the crowded place, and left towards the back door connected to the safe passage.

Pei Yan searched for all possible places where Xu Shixi could go, and called many people, but Xu Shixi couldn't be reached.

He didn't sleep all night. At the place where Xu Shixi made an appointment to meet him, he sat on the bench by the side of the road and waited for Fang Xiaochun's news. When Fang Xiaochun came to tell him that Xu Shixi had gone to the hospital, he showed him that photo.

"Which hospital?" Pei Yan called him and asked, stood up and looked at the sparse vehicles and pedestrians on the road when the sky was not completely bright, and ran down the street to the nearest hospital.

"I don't know," Fang Xiaochun said, "Anyway, he's already getting an infusion. Lin Juan said he's still asleep and doesn't want to see you. I think you should stay away. He's not someone who doesn't answer the phone. He'll talk to you when he's rested." You contacted."

Fortunately, there was no stomach bleeding, only throat capillary rupture caused by excessive vomiting, coupled with nervous tension, and severe emotional fluctuations. After arriving at the hospital, I developed a high fever. I have already taken antipyretics, and now I should be infusing glucose.

Pei Yan didn't go to school for a day, and looked for someone in several larger hospitals without a clue. Xu Shixi didn't want to see him, so he didn't need to appear in front of him, but he couldn't wait now, even if it was so long I searched aimlessly, regret and self-blame tightly wrapped my emotions, and when I found that it was completely dark, I sat on the steps outside the hospital, almost lost my mind.

There was still no news from Xixi until around three o'clock in the middle of the night. Pei Yan couldn't wait any longer, so he bought a high-speed rail ticket to go home, and arrived at the door at around six o'clock the next morning. Mr. Xu probably wasn't awake yet, he was afraid that he would go in suddenly The old man was frightened, so he stood outside the door and waited, and went back after seven o'clock.

There are two days left before the National Day holiday, Mr. Xu thought he came back early because he didn't participate in the sports meeting like last year, and didn't ask any questions.

Mr. Xu usually likes to watch various variety shows and TV series at home. He used to use a mobile phone holder to fix it on the rattan chair in the small courtyard. After coming here, Xu Shixi bought a tablet for him, and his mobile phone is not used often. Pei Yan and others The old man didn't pay attention, and took his mobile phone to call Lin Juan.

Lin Juan left the phone numbers of Xu Shixi's family members, because Xu Shixi said that the family is full of old people and children, and he was afraid that if something happened, he would not be able to answer it, so he asked Lin Juan to take care of it, and Lin Juan agreed to take care of it. It has always been saved, but no one has ever called him. This is the first time. He guessed that it might be Pei Yan.

"Brother Lin, how is Xiaoxi?" Pei Yan closed the balcony door, and he was relieved when he heard Lin Juan answer the phone, but he was still worried, never been so afraid.

His phone number was probably blocked by Lin Juan, and Lin Juan refused to answer the unfamiliar number. He didn't dare to let the old man know, so he could only secretly use his mobile phone to call.

"Still in the hospital, asleep," Lin Juan said, "Stop hitting me, and you don't have to come here."

"I want to see him. If he doesn't want to see me, I'll be outside." Pei Yan said.

"Stay the fuck away from him," Lin Juan said, "There are reporters all over the place, what do you want to do? Just want him to come out like this? This year's hard work will be in vain!"

Pei Yan's Adam's apple rolled up and down, and the words stuck in his throat could no longer be uttered. Lin Juan was too lazy to talk nonsense with him, so he just hung up.

Pei Yan stayed at home all day, and went to clean Xu Shixi's room again. When tidying up his desk, he happened to see a stack of hardcover books with the spine facing inwards in the corner. He didn't seem to have seen it before, so he took it out to read. After a quick glance, I realized that they were all about astrophysics and astrological observations.

The pages of the book are all wrinkled. I don’t know how many times I have read them. There are still many sticky notes inside. I propped up the book cover a little and turned to the middle and back page. Xu Shixi sandwiched a ginkgo leaf inside as a bookmark. In the blank space on the left side, two cat ears were drawn with a ballpoint pen, spread out to become airplane ears, the hairs were blown, and a line of words was written underneath——

IM not understand(..)

Pei Yan was standing in front of the desk with a book in his hand. His legs were stiff and numb after standing for too long. He leaned against the bed and sat on the cold tiled floor. He didn't even feel the whole afternoon. , only to realize that the room was pitch-black, turned around and looked out of the window across the wooden bed, the moonlight was cold and pale.

The mobile phone vibrated against his leg in his trouser pocket, and Pei Yan felt his blood flow again almost instantly. He took out the mobile phone and picked up the phone. His lips trembled for a long time before he could barely make a sound, "Xiaoxi."

Xu Shixi fell into a coma all day, maybe longer. When he woke up, the needle was still inserted in the back of his hand, and more than half of the liquid in the infusion bottle had dripped, leaving only a transparent base.

He heard Lin Juan say that Pei Yan was looking for him, so he called Pei Yan back.

"Well, it's nothing. Maybe it's a bad stomach. It's not that serious." Xu Shixi moved his sore fingers a little, "You don't need to come here, there is an escort here, it's okay."

"I'll pick you up, okay? I said we would go home together during the holidays." Pei Yan just wanted to see him now. Xu Shixi's voice sounded very soft, not much older than a kitten, and his articulate words were muffled and soft, and he couldn't even hold himself up to speak. can't do it.

"...Go home," Xu Shixi looked at the incandescent lights in the ward above his head and blinked. At the beginning, he said that he wanted to give Pei Min a home, but he forgot that the person without a home should actually be himself. gone back."

"Is it because you don't want to see me...?" Pei Yan stroked the two cat ears drawn on the corner of the page with his fingertips.

"No," Xu Shixi smelled the smell of disinfectant in the air, and felt like retching, so he forcibly endured it and said, "Forget it, I'll go back the day after tomorrow."

He still wanted to make it clear to Pei Yan face to face, and break up cleanly.

After the infusion was finished, the nurse came to remove the needle, and then had to have a gastroscopy, so Xu Shixi hung up the phone.

Pei Yan heard the voice on the other end of the phone disappear suddenly, stood up and walked out of the room.

Mr. Xu was in the living room watching Xu Shixi's previously recorded variety show on his tablet. He had just finished watching and found a new interview, which was from the night before yesterday, so he clicked on it and watched it.

Pei Yan walked over and stood watching. In the interview video, Xu Shixi's eyes were slightly swollen, and the inner corners of his eyes were still red. He looked at the camera with a flash of disappointment in his eyes, and then said that he had no one he liked.

Mr. Xu looked up at Pei Yan, and saw him staring blankly at the screen. For more than two days in a row, he hadn't closed his eyes for dozens of hours, and had hardly eaten anything. Guilty, haggard and embarrassed.

"What's the matter?" Mr. Xu asked him, patted the back of his hand and said, "Is there something wrong between you two?"

Pei Yan didn't regain his senses at first, but it took a while to react, seeing that Mr. Xu couldn't say a word.

The two of them were very careful at home, but no matter how careful they were, they got along day and night, and Mr. Xu had seen so many people in his life. In fact, he had already seen something, but he didn't dare to think about it. Xu Shixi hid it very well. Mr. Xu didn't even have a chance to test it out.

It was the day when the girl came to the house, Mr. Xu took advantage of joking with Pei Yan to see Xu Shixi's depression for a moment, and when Pei Yan sat next to him afterwards, he seemed to be explaining something, so he finally couldn't help it. Don't admit that your guess should be right.

In the beginning, it was actually quite difficult to accept, and I didn't know how to face Xu Shixi. Feelings are something that can't be controlled. The more you want to break up, the more you want to be together. After thinking about it for so many days, I finally decided to forget it. Xu Shixi insisted on liking it. What can a boy do? For the past two years, Pei Yan has lived at home. In his eyes, Pei Yan is a reliable person.

"I did something wrong." Pei Yan didn't speak for a long time, and when he spoke again, he was a little hoarse. He didn't dare to close his eyes, and when he closed them, his eyes were bloodshot. He said he loved him, but every time Xu Shixi got sick and got hurt, it was because of him .He even wished that Xu Shixi didn't like him that much, so that it might not be so uncomfortable when he wanted to give up on him.

The author has something to say: [The third day of not daring to speak]

感谢在2020-06-0620:56:18~2020-06-0717:21:07期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angel of irrigation nutrient solution: 10 bottles of Eucalyptus; 1 bottle of Q□□□□□□;

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!