i have a chromosome want to meet you

Chu Xiuyuan was stunned. From Song Yu's words, Chu Xiuyuan realized that Song Yu fell ill because he saw a certain sentence he wrote. What did he write?What Song Yu saw would not be the sentence in "Psychology"...

So Song Yu got out of control today, and it was because of him?Because Song Yu thought he lost him, that's why...

But he just lost control of his emotions that day, he never thought of being separated from Song Yu.

In the end, Song Yu paid a painful price because of that sentence out of control.

Distress and self-blame are like vines growing from the ground, passing through Chu Xiuyuan's torso, holding him tightly in place.

Teacher Bai: "What did you see, why did you think you lost him?"

Song Yu gasped, he didn't want to recall at all, he couldn't say it, it seemed that if he said it, it would deprive him of his last hope and fantasy.

Teacher Bai looked at the two books on the bedside table, reached out to take them, and turned to the page with the milk tea coupons, and understood: "Song Yu, you have to believe that no matter what he wrote in the book, he will Did not give up on you."

Chu Xiuyuan's eyelids twitched, it was written in the book...

Sure enough, it was the sentence written in psychology on the day he lost control of his emotions?

Sure enough...it was still because of him, it was all because of him, Chu Xiuyuan's heart was twisted into a hemp rope, colic, but there was a glimmer of hope in his heart, if Song Yu didn't want to forget himself, wouldn't that prove that Song Yu actually ... Really like yourself a little bit?

The twisted heart was beating chaotically, beating his chest, making him dizzy and breathing hot.

Teacher Bai's question came from the room again: "Then let's change the angle, since you think you have lost him, why don't you heal yourself and come back to him, you can start again, and it is also possible that you recover After that, he is still in your heart."

Song Yu still shook his head: "I don't dare to bet on the possibility. Even if there is only a little possibility, I dare not."

Song Yu's stubbornness and stubbornness forced Teacher Bai to sigh slightly: "But Song Yu, do you still remember that last autumn, you worked very hard and cooperated very much, saying that you wanted to heal yourself. Why?"

Song Yu lowered his head and lowered his eyes halfway: "Because his mother also has mental disorders, severe depression and mild obsessive-compulsive disorder, I can see that he is in pain. He said that he hoped that we mental illnesses would never appear in this world, but in him. before……"

"Song Yu." Teacher Bai called out nervously.

Song Yu shook his head with a smile: "But I want to be with him, how could I leave him, I know those are angry words, so I want to heal myself, so that I won't put more pressure on him. I don't want him because I am in pain, I want him to be fine, I want to see him smile."

Gently, "It's beautiful." Song Yu's smile was unbelievably soft in his memory, "He smiles really beautiful."

Teacher Bai frowned and sighed, oh, what a silly boy again.

"But after the winter vacation, there was a barrier to communication between us. Why, think about it, did something happen during this time that made your attitude change."

After winter vacation?

Chu Xiuyuan's eyes widened outside the door. Song Yu's resistance to treatment began after the winter vacation?Is that also related to him?Thinking of this, Chu Xiuyuan shuddered, as if he had grasped something.After eavesdropping and learning that Song Yu had obsessive-compulsive disorder that day, he thought that Song Yu's abnormal words during the winter vacation were due to his illness, but was there some hidden detail that he hadn't discovered?

What did they talk about and what did they say that would cause Song Yu to be abnormal?

Suddenly, Chu Xiuyuan's eyes widened because of... "When Nietzsche Weeps"?

Chu Xiuyuan took out his mobile phone and clicked on the chat history, shaking his hands to check their conversations, yes... sure enough...

At this time, Song Yu also mentioned this book.

Song Yu: "One day, I discussed that book with him, and he asked me about obsessive thinking like Dr. Blair's. His obsession with Bertha disappeared the moment he was cured. Is there such a thing in reality? case."

Paused for two seconds, "But I can't answer."

Teacher Bai immediately had a guess in his heart: "So you think of yourself?"

Song Yu didn't answer, but the long silence let Teacher Bai know that Song Yu acquiesced.

Chu Xiuyuan suddenly gathered the clothes on his chest tightly, his breath was hot, and every breath seemed to be able to burn himself to death, with burning pain.

Teacher Bai: "Just answer if you don't know."

"But I don't want to disappoint him."

Teacher Bai sighed: "Song Yu, if he likes you, he would prefer you to answer him honestly, rather than see you being troubled by it. Have you ever thought that when he learns that your symptoms are all related to him? How did he feel?"

Song Yu's bloodless face turned even paler: "Teacher Bai, don't tell him... I don't want to put pressure on him, and I don't want him to leave me because of this. The last thing I want to do in my life is to hurt him, and I want to protect him. "

"Then cooperate with us and heal yourself."

"But I..." Song Yu breathed repeatedly in pain, rushing and messy, he fell into his own stubborn thinking again, he was afraid.

Teacher Bai's tone was originally gentle and flat, but the next sentence became solemn and serious: "Song Yu, I assure you, when you recover, you will find yourself liking him even more."

Song Yu shook his head slowly, obviously not believing it.

Teacher Bai: "You will never forget him, I assure you, you will never forget him, you will remember every moment you were with him, you will remember every smile of his."

Song Yu squinted his eyes, seeing Teacher Bai's eyes very seriously.

"Because you're different from Blair, totally different."

Chu Xiuyuan's eyes widened in an instant, he had an epiphany, and slowly stood up while climbing the wall. Teacher Bai was right, Song Yu and Blair were not the same at all, because of Blair's resistance, Song Yu did not!

Blair's symptoms, his pain comes from the fact that he wants to stop his obsession with Bertha, he resists the sexual fantasies he has about Bertha all the time, but Song Yu is not, Song Yu did not resist his obsession with me, he resisted It's not me, but losing me, so this is not Song Yu's illness!He is not the same as Blair!

He wanted to tell Song Yu, he wanted to tell Song Yu himself.

At the same moment, Teacher Bai also said: "Song Yu, you have to think clearly, Blair has a strong resistance to being infatuated with Bertha, but you have never resisted liking him, so you are different. You like him , not because of your symptoms, you liked him, it has nothing to do with your symptoms, so when you recover, you will still like him, you can't forget him."

"Resistance..." Song Yu was stunned for two seconds, and his breathing also stopped. For a moment, surprise and ripples gradually appeared in his eyes, as if the bottomless abyss and cold pool reflected the dawn little by little.

"I..." Song Yu's eyes shot at Teacher Bai, and turned again. When they hit the door of the ward, they suddenly stuck there, and even the eyeballs trembled slightly.

He watched the figure at the door walk towards him step by step, watched him reach the bedside, watched him slowly hug himself, bringing his burning body temperature and breath, and heard him say: "Song Yu, heal your illness .”

Song Yu was still holding his breath. He was afraid that if he exhaled, the person in front of him would be blown away. He carefully stroked the person's back, and the moment the heat from the back was transferred to the palm of his hand, he squeezed the person into his arms Here, never let go.

"Xiuyuan..." Great, I didn't lose you, I didn't lose you.

In an instant, Song Yu's eyes turned red.This person in my arms... How could I not like you, how could I not like you.

Chu Xiuyuan's bones ached from being strangled, but he stroked Song Yu's shoulders over and over again: "Promise me."

"I……"

"I'll wait for you." Chu Xiuyuan's voice was right next to Song Yu's ear, softly, "I will always wait for you, until you tell me that you like me with a healthy mind that is not controlled by the disease. "

"Don't you hate me... I have obsessive-compulsive disorder."

Chu Xiuyuan smiled: "I like you, even if you have obsessive-compulsive disorder." He buried his face into Song Yu's neck, this embrace was so familiar, his voice was muffled, but it hit Song Yu's chest violently, "I miss you, I don’t want to miss you but can’t see you, I don’t want to see you suffering alone but I can’t do anything, so heal yourself, for me.”

Song Yu felt the breath and moisture on his neck, it was so hot, it softened his heart, and the shape he made was the person in his arms.

"it is good……"

"Ahem." Teacher Bai looked at the young couple, not knowing where to put his eyes, "You guys have a chat, I'll go first."

"Teacher Bai!" Chu Xiuyuan stopped him, "Thank you."

Teacher Bai raised his eyebrows: "All right, all right."

"One more thing." Chu Xiuyuan patted Song Yu, motioned him to let go of himself, and faced Teacher Bai, "I've also read that book "When Nietzsche Cried". I've thought about the flea and lice accident for a long time, Song Yu's relapse, apart from his parents' obstruction and his own lack of cooperation, is there no other reason? For example, the source of his illness."

Teacher Bai: "You mean..."

"I've been thinking why Song Yu's current illness can't have two causes. One of them may be me, but the other may have nothing to do with me. You only controlled the variable of me before, but the other variable has always existed. Isn’t that a possibility? Why isn’t your talk therapy working.”

Teacher Bai frowned: "Let me think about it, let me think about it."

After Teacher Bai left, there were only the two of them left in the ward. Chu Xiuyuan took off his shoes and knelt on Song Yu's body. He gently touched his cheek, so gently and earnestly, and stroked Song Yu's lips until the lips recovered. Turning bloody, he said solemnly: "Song Yu, I like you. I have never liked someone so much in my life. Even if you don't have the slightest feeling for me, I don't want to let you go."

Song Yu stared at Chu Xiuyuan intently, at his opening and closing lips, at his serious eyebrows and eyes, Song Yu's eyes were so heavy, this person in his body, he wanted to be carved into his body forever, into his flesh and blood In, engraved into every cell.

Song Yu's eyes were bloodshot and full of possessiveness. In the past, Chu Xiuyuan would have felt terrified. He couldn't imagine the days when he was completely restrained by one person. But seeing Song Yu at this moment, if Song Yu Possession can heal him, he can never leave him again, and he can hear Song Yu soundly saying that he likes him, so even if he is restrained by Song Yu, he will be willing.

Chu Xiuyuan smiled lightly and pinched the back of Song Yu's neck: "You idiot...you told me not to give up on you, you have to trust me."