i have a chromosome want to meet you

In order to come to see me, he concealed his illness and pretended that he was getting better. What a ridiculous guess, but Chu Xiuyuan couldn't laugh at all.

"Isn't he the one who proposed not to meet?" Chu Xiuyuan asked uncertainly.

Fu Jue sighed: "Perhaps he himself is also suffering. While he wants to heal himself as soon as possible, he can't help but want to see you." In the final analysis, it was because of Chu Xiuyuan.

Chu Xiuyuan's face burst into unprecedented fragility, his head ached, he took a deep breath, threw himself on the bench, buried his almost collapsed face in his hands, and felt panic and self-blame in his heart.

If it was true what Fu Jue said, what would he do?

Seeing Song Yu, Song Yu must have new symptoms, but without Song Yu, the condition did not improve, but worsened.

No solution to a dead end.

How to do?

How should he choose?What can he do for Song Yu?

In the confusion, an anxious and worried question sounded from the top of his head, interrupting Chu Xiuyuan: "How is Song Yu's hand?"

Chu Xiuyuan looked up and saw Teacher Bai with a nervous face.

Fu Jue: "Teacher Bai?"

Teacher Bai panted heavily: "I postponed the outpatient clinic in the afternoon. Where is Song Yu?"

Fu Jue pointed to a ward in the distance: "The doctor said that there was nothing serious about my hand. I was afraid of wound infection, so I entrusted him to stay in the hospital for two days. He just said that he wanted to be alone for a while, so he kicked me out. I don't even want to see my parents."

Teacher Bai nodded, and asked again: "Has Xiuyuan gone in and seen him?"

Chu Xiuyuan shook his head: "I just arrived too." His voice was hoarse, as if scratching on a rusty iron rod, "And... I don't know if I can see him..." Obviously wanting to look at him so much, obviously thinking so much Listen to his voice.

Can this sentence make Fu Jue's heart ache suddenly? She sat beside Chu Xiuyuan without saying a word, and suddenly burst out crying with a sob.In the face of the serious illness, all efforts seemed so insignificant and so helpless, why couldn't Song Yu be cured, and why these two boys, who were obviously so good, had to suffer such hardships.

"Stupid boy." Teacher Bai patted the top of Fu Jue's head, "I'll talk to his parents, and then go see him." Then he patted Chu Xiuyuan, "Wait for me later."

Chu Xiuyuan nodded, nervously watching Teacher Bai walking towards Song Yu's parents, thinking of the words he said out of control just now, he sighed, and felt dizzy and his breathing was so hot.

But he really hates why there are so many people who avoid mental disorders like tigers, as if when it comes to mental illness, they can no longer hold their heads up in front of others, they will be inferior to others, and they will suffer despise.And often these closest people, like Song Yu, and even more patients need the encouragement and support of their relatives, become sharp weapons to stab them, with sawtooth, stabbing in with a knife, bloody and fleshy Bring out a piece of meat, hurt them badly, and push them into a darker abyss.

When they needed redemption, these ignorant so-called relatives became real murderers.

But you can't do anything about them.

Helpless, helpless.A deep sense of powerlessness.

Chu Xiuyuan really couldn't give them a good face.

Because of Song Yu's parents' obstruction, Song Yu suffered for so many years, and Chu Xiuyuan didn't want to forgive them.Even if they gave birth to Song Yu, it would not be worth their pedantic ignorance.

He watched Teacher Bai trying to persuade Song Yu's parents earnestly, but he didn't know what those two people said to Teacher Bai. The usually peaceful teacher suddenly went into a rage: "This kind of thing must happen, do you understand his pain? He Being manipulated by you and listening to you is because you gave him life, but don't consume his feelings for you anymore!"

The words were too harsh, and the two middle-aged men who had been arguing with confidence before were silenced by the yelling.

Teacher Bai pointed at the two of them and said word by word: "I repeat, obsessive-compulsive disorder can be cured, just like high blood pressure and other physical diseases, it is just a very common disease, there are no monsters, put away your madhouse theory , don't hurt him again."

"Think about it, talk to him carefully, and listen to what he has in mind." Teacher Bai said with a rare cold face, "I've made up my mind and I'll take you to see him."

After speaking, he turned around and walked into Song Yu's ward.

A moment later, Teacher Bai led Song Yu's parents to Song Yu's ward again.

Chu Xiuyuan took a heavy breath, propped himself up, got up too fast, his eyes darkened for a while, he held on to the wall for four or five seconds before he stood still, and staggered one step and sneaked to the door of the ward.

Song Yu lived in an advanced ward for two people. The patient on the other bed was not there, and the door was open. There were only Song Yu, his parents and Mr. Bai in the room.

Chu Xiuyuan heard Song Yu call his parents hoarsely.

Mom cried and wanted to see Song Yu's hand.

There was resentment in Dad's words: "Who made you like this? You must not cover him, we must make him pay!"

The mother also twitched and said: "Fu Jue said that you put your hand in it yourself. I don't believe it. My son is so good, how could he do such a strange thing. Son, tell mom, is there any difficulty? Or Someone threatened you?"

Song Yu watched them be silent for a long time, and sighed, as if he had let out all the hope in his heart, without leaving a trace: "I'm tired."

Those three words made the crying mother cry even harder.

Papa Song suddenly scolded: "Why are you crying? You know how to cry all day long!"

Chu Xiuyuan frowned, and heard Song's mother crying sharply: "My son is injured like this, and I don't know who caused it. Why can't I cry!"

"Why are you arguing!" Teacher Bai interrupted sharply, "What did you promise me just now? If you don't want to visit the sick, just leave."

The ward became quiet, only to hear Song Yu sigh: "I'm tired, let's go."

Of course Song Yu's parents were unwilling to leave without saying anything, and there was no movement for a long time.

Chu Xiuyuan sat directly on the floor outside the ward, leaning his back against the wall, clasped his hands under his nose, he could hear that Song Yu was tired from that sound, he was really exhausted physically and mentally.

Song Yu: "I am very grateful that you gave birth to me. I used to feel very guilty. Why did I work so hard and still fail to meet your requirements? Why did I suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder and make you feel ashamed. I have never understood, since Since I can remember, this family has never been happy, did I cause it? Until now, I don’t understand why the outside is so bright and beautiful when the inside is already rotten.”

Mother Song wiped her tears: "Son, what are you talking about? What obsessive-compulsive disorder, what is rotten."

Song's father also said: "Everyone has a bad mood, and that's not your problem. Go home after you have taken care of your hands." Both of them denied the existence of obsessive-compulsive disorder, and avoided talking about the relationship between husband and wife.

Song Yu suddenly chuckled, and that laugh contained too many heavy emotions, disappointment, pain, depression, and relief, which made Chu Xiuyuan's heart tighten.It seemed as if he had endured for countless years, and finally broke the last trace of emotion.

He heard Song Yu say: "I often dream that I become Nezha, cutting the flesh back to my mother and the bones to my father, but even so, you are still persecuting my soul. I envy Nezha because he is reborn, He has a new body made of lotus flower and lotus root, and he will never be with his parents again. If I can also have a new body, except for my soul, I will definitely return my blood and my flesh to you.”

Chu Xiuyuan clenched his heart tightly. It seems that a long time ago, he and Song Yu discussed this topic jokingly, about rebirth, about Nezha, a character in the myth. It was only now that Chu Xiuyuan realized that Nezha Naohai...that's what it means.He must be so desperate for his parents to say such a thing and have such a dream...

Mother Song trembled when she spoke nervously: "Son... son, what do you mean by that?"

"I'm tired, let's go."

Papa Song also turned pale with fright: "What did you say?"

"I feel better when I can't see you."

Both of them turned pale from Song Yu's fright.

"I'm sorry for the first time in my life that I've spoken harshly to you, but I'm really tired." Song Yu said softly, "Goodbye."

Even Chu Xiuyuan, who was outside the door, was flustered by that goodbye. It didn't feel like goodbye, but more like farewell.

The mother in the ward screamed, and suddenly burst into tears. Dr. Bai pushed her out of the room, and called the security guards to take Song Yu's parents out of the inpatient department.

Teacher Bai glanced at Chu Xiuyuan, and walked back to the ward: "How do you feel?"

Song Yu's tone was very flat: "I don't know. It's not so good and I feel better."

"You and your parents..."

Song Yu chuckled: "Don't worry, I'll take care of it. I know what I'm doing and how to deal with it."

Song Yu said so, and Teacher Bai couldn't ask more: "Okay, then I have some questions about your condition. I hope you will cooperate and don't hide anything."

"it is good."

"Do you want to heal yourself?"

"..." Song Yu was silent for two seconds before replying.

"think."

That sentence of hesitation caused Chu Xiuyuan outside the door to squeeze his palm tightly, and Song Yu was struggling. Just as Fu Jue guessed, Song Yu was enduring incomprehensible suffering.

Teacher Bai: "Then why have you been hiding your illness? Why have you lied to us that you are getting better?"

"I didn't lie to you, I feel better."

Teacher Bai frowned: "Okay, will you put your hand into the oil pan? What were you thinking at that time?"

Song Yu opened his mouth, but finally just shook his head.

"Tell me the truth." Teacher Bai asked seriously, "Don't you want to get rid of the entanglement of obsessive thinking, and don't you want to work, study and live in a healthy and normal way? Even though you may not like him, don't you want to stand in front of him healthy? ?”

"I..." Song Yu closed his eyes slowly and forcefully, clenched his teeth until the veins on his neck bulged, and then let go and said, "I also want to heal myself, but I don't want to forget him. I don't want to have anything to do with him."

Teacher Bai said gently: "There is no contradiction between this. After you heal yourself, you can't forget him. He has nothing to do with you."

"No..." Song Yu shook his head and looked at the two books on the bedside table. He seemed to be looking at the two books, but his eyes were out of focus. "I saw a sentence he wrote. At that moment, I felt that I had lost he."

The sky is falling.

"Heal yourself and you'll find you haven't lost him."

"No." Song Yu clenched the quilt under his palm tightly, "I'm afraid, I'm afraid that if I cure myself, I'll forget about him, and then I'll lose him completely. I'd rather not treat him."

"Song Yu..."

Song Yu interrupted: "Teacher, do you still remember the book "When Nietzsche Cried" you recommended to me? The moment Blair healed himself, he let go of all his obsession with Bertha, but I don't want to do this. Forget him Abandoning him is more terrifying and painful to me than being tortured by a disease. I don't want to do this. I want to remember every minute and every second of me and him. I don't want to be Blair, and I don't want him to be Bertha .”

"I've already lost him, and I can't accept that he disappeared from my memory." Almost choked up.